This book is based on Buddhism’s five subjects for frequent recollection - specifically old age, sickness and death. Little did I know when I began reading it that it would be so timely, because this year I have had to face the deaths of three dearly loved people. My mother died in February, and my mother-in-law in May, followed by my brother’s death from an inoperable brain tumor in July. I don’t know whether or not having read this book made it any easier because I doubt whether anyone can ever be completely prepared for what we all know will happen eventually. But I do think it helps to have had a chance to think about these things before needing to confront them head on.
Although we live in a death-denying culture I’ve found there is great value in learning to recognize death is not something to be feared, but rather to be seen as a natural part of life along with the deep sorrow that follows in its wake when we must be parted from someone we love. And as I read this book I was reminded that the 6th century Rule of St. Benedict says monks should keep death daily before their eyes. Though worlds and generations apart, both St. Benedict and the Buddha knew that to be alive is to come face to face with what it means to die. This past year has given me plenty of opportunity to do that.
Saying those final goodbyes was not easy, and neither is the grief work that has followed. But reading this book gave me a chance to become more comfortable with the reality – and the great mystery – that surrounds death. St. Benedict and the Buddha both knew the value of recognizing the transitory nature of life and the fact that each of us will die.
I was privileged to be with my mother-in-law during the last hours of her life. And when she drew in her final breath and released it with a little raspy gasp, I was overcome by the mystery of it all. One moment she had still been with us and the next moment she had left us forever. How are we to grapple with something so deeply profound? Coming to terms with that question is one of our challenges as human creatures. And I believe, as does the author of this book, that one of the great lessons to be learned as we confront the reality of death is that life itself is a precious thing to be approached with reverence and lived with intention.