Columbus Was A Dope

by Robert A. Heinlein

first published in the May 1947 issue of Startling Stories. It later appeared in two of Heinlein's collections, The Menace from Earth (1959), and Expanded Universe (1980).

In the story, bar patrons and a bartender debate building a starship. One favors outer space exploration as an obvious analogy of Columbus's voyages, the other insists that Columbus was a dope and should have stayed home. The punch line is that the debate takes place on the moon.

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 1947

About the author

Robert Anson Heinlein was an American science fiction author, aeronautical engineer, and naval officer. Sometimes called the "dean of science fiction writers", he was among the first to emphasize scientific accuracy in his fiction, and was thus a pioneer of the subgenre of hard science fiction. His published works, both fiction and non-fiction, express admiration for competence and emphasize the value of critical thinking. His plots often posed provocative situations which challenged conventional social mores. His work continues to have an influence on the science-fiction genre, and on modern culture more generally.
Heinlein became one of the first American science-fiction writers to break into mainstream magazines such as The Saturday Evening Post in the late 1940s. He was one of the best-selling science-fiction novelists for many decades, and he, Isaac Asimov, and Arthur C. Clarke are often considered the "Big Three" of English-language science fiction authors. Notable Heinlein works include Stranger in a Strange Land, Starship Troopers (which helped mold the space marine and mecha archetypes) and The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress. His work sometimes had controversial aspects, such as plural marriage in The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, militarism in Starship Troopers and technologically competent women characters who were formidable, yet often stereotypically feminine—such as Friday.
Heinlein used his science fiction as a way to explore provocative social and political ideas and to speculate how progress in science and engineering might shape the future of politics, race, religion, and sex. Within the framework of his science-fiction stories, Heinlein repeatedly addressed certain social themes: the importance of individual liberty and self-reliance, the nature of sexual relationships, the obligation individuals owe to their societies, the influence of organized religion on culture and government, and the tendency of society to repress nonconformist thought. He also speculated on the influence of space travel on human cultural practices.
Heinlein was named the first Science Fiction Writers Grand Master in 1974. Four of his novels won Hugo Awards. In addition, fifty years after publication, seven of his works were awarded "Retro Hugos"—awards given retrospectively for works that were published before the Hugo Awards came into existence. In his fiction, Heinlein coined terms that have become part of the English language, including grok, waldo and speculative fiction, as well as popularizing existing terms like "TANSTAAFL", "pay it forward", and "space marine". He also anticipated mechanical computer-aided design with "Drafting Dan" and described a modern version of a waterbed in his novel Beyond This Horizon.
Also wrote under Pen names: Anson McDonald, Lyle Monroe, Caleb Saunders, John Riverside and Simon York.

Reviews

[Xabi1990]

Tontería supina de mini relato. No lo leáis si aprecias el recuerdo del autor.

[Jeff Yoak]

An unbelievably short story with a neat twist from Heinlein.

[Federico DN]

Last one is a rotten egg.

Dr. Appleby, wife and children will be willing participants in the first ever expeditionary mission sent to the distant system of Alpha Centauri, a risky mission that may take even several generations to arrive, but Barnes does not approve, at all, and Nolan, well, Nolan just doesn't care.

I liked the idea and I think it had great potential but the punchline felt extremely flat and underwhelming. It just lacked oomph. With a few touch ups and more witty delivery I think this could've been easily a 3 or 4-stars, but it was not.



-----------------------------------------------
PERSONAL NOTE :
[1947] [5p] [Sci-fI] [Not Recommendable]
-----------------------------------------------

???????? Starship Troopers
???????? Stranger in a Strange Land

-----------------------------------------------

El último es cola de perro.

El Dr. Appleby, esposa e hijos serán participantes voluntarios en la primera misión expedicionaria enviada al distante sistema de Alpha Centauri, una misión arriesgada que puede tardar incluso varias generaciones en llegar, pero Barnes no lo aprueba, en absoluto, y a Nolan, bueno, a Nolan simplemente no le importa.

Me gustó la idea y creo que tenía un gran potencial, pero el remate se sintió extremadamente plano y decepcionante. Simplemente le faltaba asombro. Con algunos retoques y una entrega más ocurrente, creo que esto podría haber sido fácilmente un 3 o 4 estrellas, pero no lo fue.



-----------------------------------------------
NOTA PERSONAL :
[1947] [5p] [Ciencia Ficción] [No Recomendable]
-----------------------------------------------

[Oriol - Feel The Brain]

Una conversación en un bar sobre las implicaciones de una expedición espacial más allá de nuestra estrella.

Que final!!!!!

[Roberto]

Not going to make this long, since it's just a short story, but it's a nice combination of really outdated writing and an ear for a kind of dialog that no human ever used :-)

[Poiboy]

Too short, but def had promise.

[Jake]

Esto debería estár en una recopilación de cuántos, no es lo suficientemente bueno como para estar aparte

[Forked Radish]

If European man were meant to be in North America he would have been born with sails growing out of his bean and butt cheeks shaped like pontoons.

[FernandoG]

Corto relato de Ciencia Ficción de 1947. En un bar un hombre critica con dureza a Cristóbal Colón por haber emprendido un viaje suicida e inútil hacia lo desconocido. La discusión se centra en la estupidez de los pioneros que abandonan la seguridad de su hogar por aventuras absurdas….. 3.8/5.0

"Colón fue un cretino. ¿Qué consiguió al cruzar el océano? Solo buscarse problemas. Si se hubiera quedado en su casa, todos habrían vivido mucho mejor."

[Glen Engel-Cox]

A trick story. Heinlein sets it up and even gives you some clues as to what the trick is early, but like a magician, uses the main protagonist to keep your attention away from those details that would give the story away until he decides to pull the tablecloth away. And, like the best trick stories, it’s short, so you don’t feel too annoyed about having been tricked.

[Austin Wright]

Philosophical Science Fiction at it's finest.