Handstands in the Dark: A True Story of Growing Up and Survival

by Janey Godley

Brought up amid near-Dickensian squalour in the tough East End of Glasgow and sexually abused by her uncle, Janey married into a Glasgow criminal family as a teenager, then found herself having to cope with the murder of her mother, violence, religious sectarianism, abject poverty and a frightening family of in-laws.First-hand, Janey saw the gangland violence and met extraordinary characters within an enclosed and seldom-revealed Glasgow underworld - from the grim and far-from-Swinging 60s, to the discos of the 70s, to the tidal wave of heroin addiction which swept through and engulfed Glasgow's East End during the 1980s.This evocative, intimate and moving portrayal of a woman forced to fight every day for her family's future will strike a chord with anyone who has ever struggled against adversity.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Audiobook, Humor, Scotland

413 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 2, 2005

About the author

Janey Godley was a Scottish stand-up comedian, actress, writer and political activist. She began her stand-up career in 1994, and won various awards for her comedy in the 2000s.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, she made a series of voice over clips of politicians and other well known personalities. The following year, she was dropped from a pantomime performance of Beauty and the Beast after a series of controversial racist tweets emerged, for which Godley later apologised. She was later diagnosed with ovarian cancer, from which she died in 2024.

Reviews

[Jack O'Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The librarian looked at me when I checked this book out. I’m used to this, being very handsome, a bit like a young Sean Connery only older and balder and a bit more in the beef stakes. But the librarian was a man. I’ve nothing against that kind of thing. These barriers are breaking down. If a librarian wants to be a man and wants to gawk at me and manhandle my choice of book then that’s his perogative. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but as Jane Godley showed time after time, men in Glasgow don’t talk to each other. They make innane stament and wait for the other guy to trip over it. So if I met a man with three heads in my local I’d just sip my beer and maybe later ask him where he got his hair cut. The librarian said he’d seen her [the author of the book I’d chosen] doing standup. He’d said she’d been to Austrailia and Billy Connelly had been in the audience at one of her gigs. I asked him if he’d booed. That was a joke. You shouldn’t have to do jokes, but Jane Godley undestands what Glasgow men are like. At the age of six she was trying to work out a way to commit suicide. Her mother’s brother was regularly raping her and, although she didn’t know it at the time, also her sister Ann, who was a few years older than her. Her mother refused to deal with it. She warned Janey if she told her father he would end up murdering him and end up in prison for a very long time. Her father was a weekend alcholic and her mother, a young girl herself, with four kids (two brothers Mij and Vid) in Glasgow’s East End couldn’t cope, and also liked her drink and Valium, with periodic bouts in the local nut house. But Godley is too good a writer to leave us with that unleavened stereotype. She helps us to understand her mother and love her quirky ways and feel sad when she’s—almost certainly—murdered by her psychopathic boyfriend, who took up with her after her dad leaves home. She also helps us to understand how she ended up dating and marrying a local gangster’s son, Sean Storrie and how she loves and hates him at the same time. Old George is an old-fashioned patriarch with seven sons. He is the family business. Sean and Jane find a home and kinship in one of Old George’s projects The Nationalist Bar which they rename The Weavers. Their success provokes jealousy from other family members. But it was a divide and rule world.

'Old George seemed to enjoy torturing me. He behaved the same to his sons. If he found a weakness he would pick at it like a scab until it bled. Old George had lost his wife; his sons had lost their own mother; but they were not averse to hurting me and laughing about my Mammy’s death.'

Janey gets pregnant and in the usual way of her life nothing is straightforward. The fetus poisons her body and she can’t keep food down is constantly sick or nauseous and has to go to the hospital to be fed be intravenous drip a couple of times a week. Ashley, when she is born, is the one thing that binds the family together and even Old George is charmed by her. The mark of a great writer is you love them and you love whom they love. Of course, I love Ashley too. But I fiind it hard when, in a Byzantine political manouvere to keep corrupt Glasgow City Councillors from shutting Weavers Bar they and their cronies join the Conservtive Party. As part of the young Conservative couple from Calton, Janey gets to meet Margaret Thatcher. My smypathy only extends so far. The only people I wanted to meet Thatcher were the Brighton bombers, but I suppose in her circumstances this is understandable. And her book is endorsed by the Daily Mail. When Old George dies everything unravels. It’s brother against brother and family be fucked, which sounds Thatcherite to me. But I am biased, but Jane Godley does not need my, or any other person’s sympathy. This is right up there with Growing up in the Gorbals, Ralph Glasser’s classic account of what it felt like to be poor in early twentieth-century Glasgow. I can pay her no greater compliment than that.

[Flapper72 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say that I came to this book after finding Janey Godley's parodies of Nicola Sturgeon on twitter and then also a couple of wonderful things on the BBC. I then found her and her daughter on facebook during lockdown just chatting away to people and I wanted to know more about this lady. This book is just astounding. Dad an alcoholic, Mum being abused and eventually murdered, Janey being abused by her uncle and then ending up in an abusive marriage. But the book makes you laugh too, characters are colourful and Janey never appears as a victim despite all that her life has thrown at her. A great book that would feel fantastical if it weren't true written by a truly amazing woman.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book while travelling on the train back from Edinburgh to London from my cousins hen weekend. Having met the Author after her comedy stand up show under the damp arches of the comedy festival,she was suffering from a bad chest at the time from the damp but still managed to make us laugh, a lot. Her life is not however funny and it goes to show if you're willing to fight it you can overcome the worst of adversity. In amongst a crowded carriage silent tears unashamedly ran down my cheeks, and for me that's a rare thing having been brought up on a rough South London Estate,crying was the last thing I'd do. However on an empathic level,my heart went out to her and the level of suffering she went through as a child, and having met her, how well she turned out. Successful and happy.

This is hands down the best Autobiography I've ever read. And I've read mostly sportsman I have to admit but as far as true stories goes this tops them all. Not being such a vaunted personality of the likes of Nigel Benn,Brian Clough,Mohamed Ali or Tony Adams who all came from similarly impoverished backgrounds to make good in their chosen professions. Janey Godley is IMHO a genuine heroine,brave to put it out there,courageous to stand up and laugh about it. I defy anyone to read it and feel no emotion. A great read which I had severe trouble putting down.

I have to say in hindsight I was glad I got to shake her hand and get her to sign my copy before I read it because I would've kicked myself for it after reading it if I hadn't. Glad I got to shake the hand of a genuine person,a true survivor and honour graduate of the University of Life.

[Bruce Beckham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our newest street book group read, the late Glaswegian comedienne Janey Godley’s autobiography. I listened to the audio version, narrated by the author, which I would say is the only way to do it.

She recounts her upbringing in Shettleston, a tough district in Glasgow’s East End, her survival of deprivation, discrimination and sexual abuse, her coming of age and marriage into a gangster family, and her life as a young mother running a hard-drinking corner bar with its backcloth of street fighting, hard drugs and prostitution.

On the one hand the tale is a bottomless pit of despair, domestic violence and manipulation, but on the other a beacon of hope, of ephemeral joy found in chronic adversity, and incalculable fortitude.

Janey Godley’s grippingly honest narration is nothing short of brilliant, and her talent for the Glasgow vernacular makes the graphic profanity that peppers the dialogue sound not in the least gratuitous. (But it does contain more swear words than any other book I have read.)

[Donald Forsyth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Janey Godley had very challenging experiences as a child. Beyond that, this book is a waste of time. I kept reading it hoping that there might some useful wisdom or analysis, there isn’t.

[Hannah Polley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a tragic life story book. Janey lives in Glasgow and grows up with an abusive uncle and poverty driven life. As a teenager, Janey marries into a gangster family and even though her husband beats her and she is always threatening to leave it seems that they are still together, which I wasn’t expecting.

An ok book but I wouldn't reread it.

[Wendy Good · Rating 2 out of 5]

Love Janey's humour through the pandemic but struggled through this. Clearly a harrowing life but the writing style wasn't engaging and reading it felt like a chore. Continued to the end but overall disappointed. She speaks more eloquently than she writes.

[Brian Doak Carlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story of a desperately sad and violent life. I wouldn’t say she’s much of a writer, but she’s a great talker. If this was a fiction you’d have trouble finding redemptive characters in the story, even Janey herself who Just about survives in it. There is love there, but apart from the daughter, it’s a messy, complicated and unstable life. And unfortunately the lives depicted remind me of several I knew as a wee lad in 1960s Gorbals and Bridgeton.

[Gillian McCallum · Rating 1 out of 5]

I heard a lot of good reviews about this book, but I found it really hard to get into. I found the chapters to repeat itself, I started to skim pages as I could guess what it was going to say.

I really like Janey as comic but her book just wasn’t for me.

[Steve Birrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good story,some bits just dont ring true tho....

[Ailsa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely not the usual kind of book I read, but I went into it as a fan of Janey Godley not a fan of books with sad weans on the front cover. Miserable but good.

[Nicola Dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book. Once I started reading, I could not put it down. Bravo to Janey for overcoming such hardships in her life. Janey Godley got us through lockdown with laughter when it was much needed.

[Pam Strachan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an amazing story! That's all I'm going to say, because anything else is a spoiler.

[Miriam Michalak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook read by the author
It's a cracker!

[Anne Craik · Rating 5 out of 5]

A difficult, sad read about child abuse and poverty in the east end of Glasgow. I'm waiting for book 2 and hopeful it has a happy end

[Lewis Corner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Glaswegians behaving badly. An ugly and long-winded account of violence, dysfunction and nastiness. What makes people live like that, and why would anyone want to read about them?

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intense and amazing.

[Cara Mackay · Rating 5 out of 5]

read it in less than a week. I was really nervous about reading it but Janey looks after you, the reader, when describing the torturous trauma & keeps you in good faith that of course, Godley eventually gets her freedom. after a week of being part of the Storrie / Currie families - I’m glad it’s done, I’m relieved we’re out of there and I am desperate to know where we go next. Unbelievable, heart wrenching writing - I cried for me too. ❤️

[Deborah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the 2nd time I've read this book. I read it when it was first published 9/10 years ago....I wasn't on Goodreads and therefore didn't leave a review.
Anyway I found this book very poorly written. I have no doubt this woman had appalling and tragic childhood but I found she contracted herself many times throughout her 'story'. There was a lot more she could have written about some aspects of her childhood and there was also a lot of superfluous drivel that didn't need to be there.
Overall not a very satisfying read, too many holes in her story to make the compelling tale expected.
'Based' on a true story would be more accurate.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really well written and insightful. Gritty. Good to read a biographical version of life in Glasgow in times of poverty, especially if you read and enjoyed Shuggie Bain. My only complaint was that the ending was a bit abrupt. Perhaps a brief hindsight reflection to reveal what outcomes eventuated - would have increased my satisfaction with book. Would have added a star to my rating if this occurred.

[Rory McSwiggan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like her comedy but there's little of it in this book. It's brilliant. A very dramatic life. She cares about the people around her and is honest. It makes for a great read.

[Clouds]

You lost me at the very beginning. I didn't pick up this book to hear about your politics. Thank you, but no thank you.

[Lucy Condon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is an example of when an audio book pays off - thought that Janey reading her own story brought it all to life really well (the good and bad). She details her life story in the underbelly of East End Glasgow from the 1970s to 1990s and the book does not pull any punches.

It was at times a difficult listen - upsetting to hear about the extreme poverty that Janet grew up in, the violence she experienced at the hands of her dysfunctional family and the sexual abuse experienced from her Mum’s brother [very difficult to listen to what happened to her at such a young age, which she read in an almost detached monotone manner compared to her usual tone and intonation].

I have no idea how she stayed on the right side of the tracks - despite being surrounded by alcohol and drugs throughout her formative years, she did not succumb and instead dedicated herself to her daughter and husband’s work in the pub. She had married a man who’s family were a criminal gang (think Scottish Crays) although her husband was on the fringes of any criminal activity; she never felt comfortable with them and wanted a better life for her and her daughter.

The dark content was offset by the historical journey she took us on and the insight into a world which was completely alien to me. She definitely brought it all to life and the cast of characters were colourful. There were some moments of humour but maybe fewer than I’d anticipated. One laugh out loud moment for me. In telling her story, she told the story of other family members (and their dirty laundry) but I doubt she would have had their blessing for that as no-one really came off very well from the story. I can still hear her voice in my head; would have missed that if just reading the book

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hmm. This isn’t a great book. I’m sure Ms Godley had a bad time in her childhood, and of course the sex abuse from a family member is awful and inexcusable. However, otherwise her childhood seems not that different to thousands of other poor families growing up in the sixties. Alcoholics, mothers on Valium, relatives on drugs, violent men, absent fathers, sectarianism, casual racism and homophobia. And there’s the small matter of marrying into a criminal family while either keeping her head in the sand or pretending not to know what’s going on. It’s always someone else’s fault, even when she herself is shouting and hitting others. Staying together for her daughter’s sake despite her husband and her shouting fights and her frequently running away. I’m not saying her life was easy. But I grew up at the same time and I can count the number of family holidays we’ve to Florida and the Caribbean, the number of times I’ve been magically let off criminal charges and the number of rental properties I own on the fingers of one foot. But that’s OK. As she says, she’s just a woman. If someone else is paying the bills why should she know where the money comes from? I’m sorry for her, she had a bad time and that’s sad. But not to be too judgemental, at some point she needs to take responsibility for herself and her actions - I’m sad that stage wasn’t reached in this book. This book also needs a bit of a firmer hand from the editor to stop repetition and sort out timelines, which can be distracting. I think that would need to be a brave person though.

[Emma Creasey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this compelling, but horrifying, listening. Definitely a book to make most of us check our privilege. Having Janey Godley read you her own life story really drives home how harrowingly personal it is, and given she's a born raconteur perhaps this works better in audiobook than it does on the page. Honestly, I don't know how she got through her life without being seriously messed up, apart from through sheer bloody-mindedness. 'Survivor' really doesn't cut it in describing her.

I already knew the main points of this book from her stand-up and podcasts - child abuse, poverty, domestic abuse, living in a gangster family - but having the detail turned this into something I probably shouldn't have listened to before bed.

I did wish this book had gone on a little. It ends at the point where Janey and her family walk out on her gangster in-laws and the pub that has been their lives for 14 years, and that's a good finish, but given we have had the - for want of a better phrase - 'story arc' of her sexual abuse by her uncle from the beginning of the book, going through her facing up to him, then taking the brave step of reporting him to the police it's a bit unsatisfying that at the point when the book finishes he is still on the run. Given that the book was published in 2006 I thought it should have covered his arrest, trial and imprisonment in 1996.

However I'm lucky in that I've listened to this book JUST when the sequel, Janey, is now out... so I don't have to wait... on to the next listen!

[Damian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Janey has been blocked by Trump, admired by Sturgeon and watched by millions online. Her career as an actor, comic and writer began almost as soon as she started to talk. She’s not stopped. She was born in Shettleston in 1961 surrounded by characters and poverty that even Dickens might have thought a bit much. Where addiction, abuse and violence were everyday. It’s this world she brings to life in her incredible memoir, Handstands in the Dark. It’s fearless and fabulous, heartbreaking and heartwarming. And so is she.

She was the youngest of 4: mig and vid and Ann. 6 in a 2 bed flat Shettleston which had the lowest UK life expectancy.

Janey's mother was Annie Currie 'world famous actor and singer, in her hea'd. A storyteller and a template for Janey's own performing, undoubtedly.

More happens on a page of this book than in most lives...it is packed with incident and colour. there is a amn age diff between Janey and me but I was reminded a lot of my own childhood (which I wrote about in my memoir Maggie & Me). I recognised the poverty and the violence but also the joy and determination.

Janey has a novel out in 2021!

[Di McLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first came across Janey years ago and have since followed her on social media. She’s a great comic and it’s just obvious she’s such a caring loving soul and that her family means the world to her.
I think so many more people became aware of Janey during the pandemic when she made us cry with laughter at the voice overs on Nicola Sturgeon’s announcements, even Nic was known to comment.

I had no idea what Janey had went through, so I did find this harrowing at times. I think when you’re lucky enough to come from such a loving family it’s hard to contemplate anything else.
It is a searingly honest memoir covering the author's bleak childhood through to her tough adulthood. She was repeated abused as a minor by an evil uncle, who in adulthood, she brought to justice. And although it can be described as a misery memoir, that would be too simple a description. There is dark humour in this tale of a dysfunctional life in the author's Glasgow's east end. The book is as honest as it is well written. I hope she writes more, especially with the fight she is now going through with cancer. If anyone can Janey can!
After reading Handstands I am surprised that she not only laughed again, but also developed a rare talent to make us laugh again...and again ...and again too.
Read this book…. A raw and honest account of a difficult life in Glasgow. Poverty, horrendous living conditions, an abusive family, and constant nightmares leaves nowhere for Janey to hide. Adult life wasn't that great either. Yet, Janey's story acts as a reminder of how lucky most of us are. Thank you, Janey, for sharing your story.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! How that woman has survived her ghastly upbringing and chaotic childhood - sexual abuse by an uncle from a very young age, alcoholic father, dysfunctional mother who accepted physical abuse from men in her life and was ultimately murdered by a lover - and has come out laughing and fighting is truly remarkable. And for her to have written so frankly about her (still) husband and his family is astonishing. Understandable why neither he nor their daughter will not read the book but are proud of Janey for its success. I look at Janey with respect and admiration and wish her peace, love and happiness for the rest of her life. The book is shocking, eye-opening and, in spite of the material, hilarious in parts. An astonishing woman of incredible fortitude - Trump is a c**t!

[Jean Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was interesting, entertaining, horrifying, tragic, and full of hope. Such an insight to life in the Gorbals during this time; the challenges and impossibility of it all. Props to Janey for coming out the other end and doing so well. I throughly enjoy your humor and that of your daughter Janey :)

What a crazy and amazing life. Well worth the time taken to read. Having grown up in the north of Scotland I didn’t experience a life anything like Janey, but there were definitely things I recognized and to some degree lived. It was enlightening to read how someone else grew up, and also to recognize some parts of yourself in that, even if only in small part.

[Iola Shaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

challenging - it haunts your dreams, the story of a hard poverty fueled youth in 1970s Glasgow roughside. Then the impact of the growth of heroin in the early 80s in Glasgow hit hard - as "hard men" and violence driven by rage and grasping was papered over with people reduced to the shell of what they were. I found myself wondering if the initial rise of heroin, before the brutality of the drug gangs was realised, was supported by those in positions of power as they theorised that addicts were more docile. The reality of how it decimated hope was different. 15 years on I see why the book is currently being re-released as the author has featured so positively in recent years.