Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy

by Staci Newmahr

Representations of consensual sadomasochism range from the dark, seedy undergrounds of crime thrillers to the fetishized pornographic images of sitcoms and erotica. In this pathbreaking book, ethnographer Staci Newmahr delves into the social space of a public, pansexual SM community to understand sadomasochism from the inside out. Based on four years of in-depth and immersive participant observation, she juxtaposes her experiences in the field with the life stories of community members, providing a richly detailed portrait of SM as a social space in which experiences of "violence" intersect with experiences of the erotic. She shows that SM is a recreational and deeply gendered risk-taking endeavor, through which participants negotiate boundaries between chaos and order. Playing on the Edge challenges our assumptions about sadomasochism, sexuality, eroticism, and emotional experience, exploring what we mean by intimacy, and how, exactly, we achieve it.

Genres: Nonfiction, BDSM, Sexuality, Sociology, Gender Studies, Anthropology, Feminism

244 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2011

Reviews

[Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but when the author leads her sociological/ethnographic inquiry by pointing out that the people she's studying all seem to be fat, it's rather hard to take her work seriously. Despite being a participant, Ms. Newmahr's inquiry has an unpleasantly prurient edge reminiscent of the film "Freaks," which gives the viewer a voyeuristic thrill that they can walk away from and forget.

[Natty S · Rating 4 out of 5]

She had my hackles up initially with her assertion that people who practice SM (or kink/BDSM as most people call it) are mostly just fat, smelly, socially awkward Trekkies. While I am indeed fat, my experience with my local kink community at the same time she was doing her research was that, while my size was certainly accepted, I was still in the minority. There might have been a slight overrepresentation of the socially awkward or SciFi/Fantasy fans, but they certainly did not make up the core of the community. So is Portland just an outlier or is it her anonymized Caeden that is the outlier? It reaffirmed all my concerns about ethnography as a methodological tool.

But I'm glad I hung on through those first two chapters because the book went on to be an exceptional examination of SM as a practice that plays with (and can subvert) power dynamics, as well as risk and in the process becomes a form of communication and a tool for achieving profound intimacy. Her aversion to spanking specifically was interesting and a bit bemusing since all of the same aspects that drew her to other, more severe forms of SM (face punching, fire play) work the same with spanking. Like other kinks, it also plays with power relationships that can be heavily gendered (though needn't be) or the more uncomfortably pervasive parent-child power dynamic. But I give her great credit for thoughtfully examining her own biases.

Finished this book ages ago and had hoped to do a more thorough review but afraid this is as good I'm going to manage.

[The Sapphic Nerd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ahh, an easier and more accessible read than Weiss' "Techniques of Pleasure". Less unnecessary stuff, with very interesting anecdotes, mixed in with interviews and observations, all analyzed through with an academic (but not snobbish) eye.

[xkdlaej]

Ch. 6: Violence vs eroticism

Violence and eroticism have often been put on two sides of diametric opposition, the mix of violence with eroticism pathologized and condemned. However, Staci argues that SM participants utilize "consent" to reconcile their sadism with their erotic response. Members reject the verb "hurt" in describing their actions and experiences, preferring the terms "giving pain" or "receiving pain". Pain is thus not something that is happening to them, but something provided to them, something the bottom can accept if they so choose. They are thus not assailants / victims, and SM cannot be violence.

In such context, pain becomes symbolic not of violence but of power. Power and violence are thus extricated from one another, allowing for the eroticization of power.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Appreciated the content but not so much the presentation