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Life with Billy
More harrowing, more brutal than The Burning Bed, Life with Billy will appeal to all true-crime fans. This is the story of Jane Stafford and her six-year ordeal of unimaginable abuse at the hands of her common-law husband, Billy Stafford--and of the night Jane killed Billy with a shotgun.
454 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
October 25, 2019
Extremely disturbing true crime book about a woman living with an abusive husband. This story has stayed with me as to how much a person can take before they snap. A must-read if you are a true crime fan!
January 5, 2022
A disturbing true crime book.
February 1, 2013
This story, it happened close to where I live. Every detailed place I can vividly picture in my head. It's an unsettling story, and what happened to this woman, and her children, should never happen to anyone. There are pieces of the story still unknown, but that's for the family to know, and us to never quite find out.
September 23, 2012
Disturbing tale of one woman's life with an extremely abusive husband and what brought her to kill him. Not for the faint of heart.
December 28, 2019
A sad story that leaves you with a lot to think about and some unanswered questions.
September 18, 2023
4.5**. I have searched for this book to read for years. It’s a local story from Nova Scotia. What this woman went through is terrible. Difficult to read at times but her strength through it all was incredible. A terrible loss but a well written book.
October 19, 2016
Three stars
I read the special commemorative edition that was a combination of Life with Billy with Life After Billy. I wish I had I only read the first half of this book.
This is a hard book to review, as it was a hard book to read. However, I think it is an important read, especially as a Nova Scotian. Jane Hurshman’s struggle and incredible story of survival and fight changed the way a lot of people viewed domestic abuse not only locally, but nationally. It was difficult to read the horrible, degrading and heinous things she was subjected to not only in her time with Billy, but in her childhood and previous marriage. In fact, there was not a time while reading this book where I was not physically uncomfortable and in a state of unrest.
I won’t touch on my disappointment in the authorities and the judicial system. I’ll only leave the below excerpt and express how unsurprised I was to read it.
“Exactly two months after Jane Stafford used a shotgun to put an end to her years of humiliation and abuse, many male Liberal and Conservative members of Parliament laughed and guffawed loudly in the House of Commons when they were told that one out of ten women in Canada are battered by their husbands.”
I give Jane 5 stars. She walked away from a horrifying situation with physical and emotional scars and dedicated her life to helping others in similar situations. I can’t even imagine what life in the 80s and 90s was like for a domestic abuse survivor. Her story is inspirational.
The book itself? I give it 2 stars. My issue lies mostly in the second half of the book. The book continues to follow Jane as she tries to heal while she builds a new life for herself. However, it is broken down in such a way that the timeline jumped all over the place. At one point she would be back at the home she shared with Billy and in the next chapter she would be returning there for the first time. There was a chapter on ghosts. I love a good ghost story, but it felt very unnatural there.
It is important to remember that domestic abuse does not just stop when the abuser dies. The abuse will follow a victim around their entire life, and because of this I think the second half of this book was important. I just found it almost unreadable.
RIP Jane. I hope you found peace.
I read the special commemorative edition that was a combination of Life with Billy with Life After Billy. I wish I had I only read the first half of this book.
This is a hard book to review, as it was a hard book to read. However, I think it is an important read, especially as a Nova Scotian. Jane Hurshman’s struggle and incredible story of survival and fight changed the way a lot of people viewed domestic abuse not only locally, but nationally. It was difficult to read the horrible, degrading and heinous things she was subjected to not only in her time with Billy, but in her childhood and previous marriage. In fact, there was not a time while reading this book where I was not physically uncomfortable and in a state of unrest.
I won’t touch on my disappointment in the authorities and the judicial system. I’ll only leave the below excerpt and express how unsurprised I was to read it.
“Exactly two months after Jane Stafford used a shotgun to put an end to her years of humiliation and abuse, many male Liberal and Conservative members of Parliament laughed and guffawed loudly in the House of Commons when they were told that one out of ten women in Canada are battered by their husbands.”
I give Jane 5 stars. She walked away from a horrifying situation with physical and emotional scars and dedicated her life to helping others in similar situations. I can’t even imagine what life in the 80s and 90s was like for a domestic abuse survivor. Her story is inspirational.
The book itself? I give it 2 stars. My issue lies mostly in the second half of the book. The book continues to follow Jane as she tries to heal while she builds a new life for herself. However, it is broken down in such a way that the timeline jumped all over the place. At one point she would be back at the home she shared with Billy and in the next chapter she would be returning there for the first time. There was a chapter on ghosts. I love a good ghost story, but it felt very unnatural there.
It is important to remember that domestic abuse does not just stop when the abuser dies. The abuse will follow a victim around their entire life, and because of this I think the second half of this book was important. I just found it almost unreadable.
RIP Jane. I hope you found peace.
January 31, 2017
Spoiler/Trigger Alert: This book is based on a true story of a woman and her children who were severely abused (physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally etc) by her husband. The dreadful events took place in Eastern Canada....years of abuse...led to the unthinkable....The abuse is graphic and bone chilling.
As a survivor of both rape and domestic violence, I applaud this woman's bravery. I know what happened to her afterwards and I'll leave that up to the reader to research for themselves. In any event, this book gives you an extremely heart wrenching front seat view of what abuse of all kinds looks like. It takes you into the mind of the victim, to look through a mother's horrified eyes at her young son sitting across the dining room table...
Raw fury, immense cruelty, unspeakable abuse and desperation....it will haunt you. Look at your mothers, look at your sisters, look at your daughters, look at your nieces, look at your aunts and grandmothers.... 1 in 4 women are abused. That's a fact. This book will make you take a closer look at the women in your life and for every 4 women you know...1 of them is going through abuse of some of kind. This book raises awareness of that fact. It's real, it's intense...it could happen to anyone you love and know.
As a survivor of both rape and domestic violence, I applaud this woman's bravery. I know what happened to her afterwards and I'll leave that up to the reader to research for themselves. In any event, this book gives you an extremely heart wrenching front seat view of what abuse of all kinds looks like. It takes you into the mind of the victim, to look through a mother's horrified eyes at her young son sitting across the dining room table...
Raw fury, immense cruelty, unspeakable abuse and desperation....it will haunt you. Look at your mothers, look at your sisters, look at your daughters, look at your nieces, look at your aunts and grandmothers.... 1 in 4 women are abused. That's a fact. This book will make you take a closer look at the women in your life and for every 4 women you know...1 of them is going through abuse of some of kind. This book raises awareness of that fact. It's real, it's intense...it could happen to anyone you love and know.
October 2, 2014
Life with Billy was really hard to read. I was expecting something more literary; I'm not sure why. After I recalibrated my reader expectations, I came to understand that the book was more of a journalistic report of events surrounding the events of Jane's life from childhood to her death. The style works well to emphasize, in a formal and detailed fashion, the brutality of abuse thousands of women endure under the hands of their partner.
shudder.
read it. it's important. But be sure to give yourself a break between chapters if you can. I needed breathers to get away from it from time to time. A luxury compared to the unending exposure to horrors Jane and other women experienced.
shudder.
read it. it's important. But be sure to give yourself a break between chapters if you can. I needed breathers to get away from it from time to time. A luxury compared to the unending exposure to horrors Jane and other women experienced.
December 29, 2010
This man Billy disgusted me. The town and all the people in it disgusted me. That particular era disgusted me. I thought Jane should have killed Billy so much earlier in their relationship. However, having been a part of a domestic dispute incident myself, I understand why there is a feeling that no one will help, including the police officers. I have a need to read the second book right away.
May 4, 2019
A very real, graphic, important read about one woman’s life of terror. This book is still relevant in 2019 and asks the questions surrounding the protection of women and violence against women. It brings to light family violence, battered wife syndrome, and the ignorance towards abuse that society still holds.
January 19, 2021
4.7/5.0
Hidden Gems:
To think that one so-called man could instill so much hate and resentment into another human being...I felt like a wild animal that had been cornered or caged, and I fought back the only way I knew how.
Hidden Gems:
To think that one so-called man could instill so much hate and resentment into another human being...I felt like a wild animal that had been cornered or caged, and I fought back the only way I knew how.
August 24, 2008
What happened to this poor woman still haunts me.
September 14, 2008
one womans brutal life with a brutal man. hard to read in some parts due to all the depravity.
August 11, 2011
What a tragic story of this woman and her childrens life. truly horrific. it was well written and kept me wanting to know how it all ended up.
June 2, 2012
My mother is mentioned in this book.
September 11, 2012
It's hard to believe the abuse that can happen in a relationship. I don't advocate for murder but BIlly was a real asshole that deserved it.
October 17, 2013
Very hard to read.
January 20, 2016
I think one of the saddest things I take from this is that the struggle is still on-going. There are still women dying at the hands of their partners. RIP Jane.
August 24, 2016
RATING: 5 out of 5 Stars
May 3, 2024
Reading this book was awful… just friggen awful… what she went through… I can’t believe it took her so long to blow his head off.
March 8, 2024
Life With Billy is the harrowing, and yet hopeful story of Jane Hurshman, a women’s rights advocate, and local Nova Scotian hero. I read the ‘Special Commemorative Edition’ which combines the 1989 biography ‘Life With Billy,’ and the 1993 sequel, ‘Life After Billy,’ into one compendium which shares the title of the first volume, ‘Life With Billy.’
Some reviews describe this as a ‘True Crime’ story and I personally disavow such a descriptor as it paints an otherwise inaccurate picture of what one might expect from this novel. True Crime often glorifies the perpetrator, where Life With Billy celebrates the one who has been wronged. I loved the decision early on to demonstrate that this novel would be about Jane, not Billy. We get maybe a 5 page backstory on Billy, establishing the man, followed by a 5 chapter backstory on Jane, wherein we learn who she was before her half decade of hell. Jane’s childhood was sometimes difficult, she suffered vicarious abuse through her mother who was tormented for some time by Jane’s Father, and fell victim to abuses of her own. But more importantly we are given insight into Jane, the person, not Jane the victim. Her family moved often because of her Father’s career in the Canadian Military, she spent time around the world, learned to speak German, won second place in a cross country race that included hundreds of runners, and won a basketball tournament. She enjoyed reading and music, was known for her humour and natural charisma. In contrast I know barely anything about Billy Stafford and I like it that way, he’s only important in so much as he is a character in Jane’s story, not the other way around.
Billy Stafford is, and I say this without any hyperbole, the most vile, evil, and disgusting person I have ever read about, in fiction or non-fiction, and the fact that he not only existed, but occupied the same province as me, makes his presence in the book all the more upsetting. While some True Crime stories seem to delight in sensationalizing violence, Life With Billy describes the abuse of Jane only so that we might understand her head space that ultimately lead to her self defence killing of Billy. We are spared extreme detail, but still painted a well realized picture of Billy’s acts.
My only real criticisms of the book are in its second half, which is sometimes encumbered by unnecessary detail, especially in the circumstances surrounding Jane’s suicide. We should be told that some believed it to be murder and others not, but the detail to which they describe the scene felt somewhat gratuitous. Summaries of Jane’s activism and relationships with Family, Friends, and Partners on the other hand was appreciated.
Life With Billy is an often difficult read due to its subject matter, but is nonetheless a must read, especially for Canadians and definitely for Nova Scotians. The name Jane Hurshman should be a household one, why we don’t have her statue on Spring Garden instead of Winston Churchill (for some reason), I don’t know, but it’s a shame we don’t. Jane had a family and friends, she was smart, and well spoken and brave, but most importantly she lived, even if she wasn’t all those things, she was a person and deserved a happy life. Her suicide is a tragedy, her sacrifice, speaking up for female victims of abuse despite the mental toll it took on her, is one we should all be thankful for.
8/10 - While sometimes the book’s larger point and theme can be lost in granular details, it still manages to encapsulate the life of a woman whose story deserved to be told and deserves even today, to be known.
Rest in peace Jane Hurshman.
Some reviews describe this as a ‘True Crime’ story and I personally disavow such a descriptor as it paints an otherwise inaccurate picture of what one might expect from this novel. True Crime often glorifies the perpetrator, where Life With Billy celebrates the one who has been wronged. I loved the decision early on to demonstrate that this novel would be about Jane, not Billy. We get maybe a 5 page backstory on Billy, establishing the man, followed by a 5 chapter backstory on Jane, wherein we learn who she was before her half decade of hell. Jane’s childhood was sometimes difficult, she suffered vicarious abuse through her mother who was tormented for some time by Jane’s Father, and fell victim to abuses of her own. But more importantly we are given insight into Jane, the person, not Jane the victim. Her family moved often because of her Father’s career in the Canadian Military, she spent time around the world, learned to speak German, won second place in a cross country race that included hundreds of runners, and won a basketball tournament. She enjoyed reading and music, was known for her humour and natural charisma. In contrast I know barely anything about Billy Stafford and I like it that way, he’s only important in so much as he is a character in Jane’s story, not the other way around.
Billy Stafford is, and I say this without any hyperbole, the most vile, evil, and disgusting person I have ever read about, in fiction or non-fiction, and the fact that he not only existed, but occupied the same province as me, makes his presence in the book all the more upsetting. While some True Crime stories seem to delight in sensationalizing violence, Life With Billy describes the abuse of Jane only so that we might understand her head space that ultimately lead to her self defence killing of Billy. We are spared extreme detail, but still painted a well realized picture of Billy’s acts.
My only real criticisms of the book are in its second half, which is sometimes encumbered by unnecessary detail, especially in the circumstances surrounding Jane’s suicide. We should be told that some believed it to be murder and others not, but the detail to which they describe the scene felt somewhat gratuitous. Summaries of Jane’s activism and relationships with Family, Friends, and Partners on the other hand was appreciated.
Life With Billy is an often difficult read due to its subject matter, but is nonetheless a must read, especially for Canadians and definitely for Nova Scotians. The name Jane Hurshman should be a household one, why we don’t have her statue on Spring Garden instead of Winston Churchill (for some reason), I don’t know, but it’s a shame we don’t. Jane had a family and friends, she was smart, and well spoken and brave, but most importantly she lived, even if she wasn’t all those things, she was a person and deserved a happy life. Her suicide is a tragedy, her sacrifice, speaking up for female victims of abuse despite the mental toll it took on her, is one we should all be thankful for.
8/10 - While sometimes the book’s larger point and theme can be lost in granular details, it still manages to encapsulate the life of a woman whose story deserved to be told and deserves even today, to be known.
Rest in peace Jane Hurshman.
April 10, 2024
It's been years, but I read this story as a teen, after hearing my mom and dad talk about Jean and her horrific life with her common law husband. We live in Lunenburg County, Nova Scotia, and my father even wanted to see the area where this all happened to her. We even drove past the house.
What Jean went through is the stuff of horror stories. Billy was a horrible human being to the core, and his behavior toward Jean was indescribable.
It is so well told, you can actually feel everything Jean was going through, but it's also a book you can't read more than once. It's that terrifying and it will make you wonder how anyone - anyone - can put anyone they claim to love through the horrors he put Jean through.
We also saw the made for TV movie and although it was horrific on its own, not quite as graphic as the book, due to TV regulations at the time here in Canada. What happened to Jean changed things for other survivors of domestic violence, because it cost her so much.
Recommended for anyone wanting to read about a real life crime, and what domestic abuse can do to a person.
What Jean went through is the stuff of horror stories. Billy was a horrible human being to the core, and his behavior toward Jean was indescribable.
It is so well told, you can actually feel everything Jean was going through, but it's also a book you can't read more than once. It's that terrifying and it will make you wonder how anyone - anyone - can put anyone they claim to love through the horrors he put Jean through.
We also saw the made for TV movie and although it was horrific on its own, not quite as graphic as the book, due to TV regulations at the time here in Canada. What happened to Jean changed things for other survivors of domestic violence, because it cost her so much.
Recommended for anyone wanting to read about a real life crime, and what domestic abuse can do to a person.
April 21, 2021
Une femme en enfer écrit par le journaliste Brian Vallée avec l'accord et à partir du témoignage de Jane Hurshman (Stafford).
Les faits vécus, ça me connait! J'en lis plusieurs chaque année et ça me shake toujours autant. Celui-ci ne fait pas exception, mais avec une petite coche supplémentaire. J'en suis chavirée et j'ai grimacé plusieurs fois à la lecture de son histoire.
Le procès lié à cet événement (tuer son concubin à la suite de plusieurs années de sévices) a été très médiatisé au début des années 80 autant en Nouvelle-Écosse, où ça s'est produit, qu'à l'échelle du pays et du monde, et les verdicts ont fait préjudices au Canada.
Un femme maltraitée... rien de nouveau n'est-ce-pas? Surtout lorsque l'on vient de vivre notre 10e féminicide au Québec depuis le début 2021!!!! Ce qui est encore plus dégueulasse, abject, épouvantable (si c'est possible), c'est que cet homme, Billy Stafford, terrorisait tout le monde, un peu à la façon d'un gourou, sa femme, son fils et son beau-fils, mais aussi ses voisins, des amis, des collègues, la famille, etc., et personne ne l'a dénoncé alors que tout le monde savait que c'était un fou furieux.
"Les peines de prison étaient rares. Généralement, l'affaire se terminait par un sursis, une mise à l'épreuve, ou même la relaxe [...] les juges entendaient préserver à tout prix la cellule familiale"
Il aura fallu ce grand drame pour que les autorités canadiennes arrêtent de se voiler la face sur la réalité de la violence envers les femmes (je ne suis pas en train de nier la violence faite aux hommes!!) et qu'il y ait des investissements dans les centres d'hébergement.
Les faits vécus, ça me connait! J'en lis plusieurs chaque année et ça me shake toujours autant. Celui-ci ne fait pas exception, mais avec une petite coche supplémentaire. J'en suis chavirée et j'ai grimacé plusieurs fois à la lecture de son histoire.
Le procès lié à cet événement (tuer son concubin à la suite de plusieurs années de sévices) a été très médiatisé au début des années 80 autant en Nouvelle-Écosse, où ça s'est produit, qu'à l'échelle du pays et du monde, et les verdicts ont fait préjudices au Canada.
Un femme maltraitée... rien de nouveau n'est-ce-pas? Surtout lorsque l'on vient de vivre notre 10e féminicide au Québec depuis le début 2021!!!! Ce qui est encore plus dégueulasse, abject, épouvantable (si c'est possible), c'est que cet homme, Billy Stafford, terrorisait tout le monde, un peu à la façon d'un gourou, sa femme, son fils et son beau-fils, mais aussi ses voisins, des amis, des collègues, la famille, etc., et personne ne l'a dénoncé alors que tout le monde savait que c'était un fou furieux.
"Les peines de prison étaient rares. Généralement, l'affaire se terminait par un sursis, une mise à l'épreuve, ou même la relaxe [...] les juges entendaient préserver à tout prix la cellule familiale"
Il aura fallu ce grand drame pour que les autorités canadiennes arrêtent de se voiler la face sur la réalité de la violence envers les femmes (je ne suis pas en train de nier la violence faite aux hommes!!) et qu'il y ait des investissements dans les centres d'hébergement.
November 3, 2021
Runaway train
This book unfolds like a runaway train, barreling towards you. You know something bad is going to happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. This book could definitely be triggering for certain people but that said, it it is an important story nonetheless. You may want to check out, "The Beast I Loved" for more understanding on the topic of Battered Wife Syndrome. And just an aside, Margaret Jourdey was a miserable human being with a real axe to grind. Maybe she can cuddle up with Billy Stafford in the afterlife since she seemed to regard him so highly...weirdo.
This book unfolds like a runaway train, barreling towards you. You know something bad is going to happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. This book could definitely be triggering for certain people but that said, it it is an important story nonetheless. You may want to check out, "The Beast I Loved" for more understanding on the topic of Battered Wife Syndrome. And just an aside, Margaret Jourdey was a miserable human being with a real axe to grind. Maybe she can cuddle up with Billy Stafford in the afterlife since she seemed to regard him so highly...weirdo.
March 10, 2024
I don't often consume true crime content, whether it be books, podcasts, documentaries etc because it gives me such severe anxiety. I knew this was a horrific case before reading this book, but I decided to read this because it's local to me.
I give it a one star because it literally made me sick to my stomach to read about how vile one individual can be. This book was extremely difficult to get through and I found myself skipping through chunks and/or just putting the book down altogether. I cannot even fathom how someone can be so evil.
⭐️
I give it a one star because it literally made me sick to my stomach to read about how vile one individual can be. This book was extremely difficult to get through and I found myself skipping through chunks and/or just putting the book down altogether. I cannot even fathom how someone can be so evil.
⭐️
August 22, 2025
Trigger warnings from start to finish
But this book is horrifically sad and even worse that it’s a true story. My heart hurt for the entire time reading this. I had to put this book down several times and take a break because it completely overwhelmed me with emotion. Absolutely heartbreaking and horrific tale, which has haunted me still decades later
But this book is horrifically sad and even worse that it’s a true story. My heart hurt for the entire time reading this. I had to put this book down several times and take a break because it completely overwhelmed me with emotion. Absolutely heartbreaking and horrific tale, which has haunted me still decades later
February 18, 2020
As a woman living in Nova Scotia, as well as one interested in True Crime, I felt this was a very important book for me to read. It makes it clear why many women don't leave and what can happen if they do. This is an important book for many to read, especially as it is still an issue today.
October 10, 2018
A emotional book! One woman’s true story of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse on her and her children and how she got away!
March 12, 2019
That was horrifying.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews