What to Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism

by Thomas S. Greenspon

To constantly aim for perfection may seem like a worthy goal to many, but for some, it can actually be a heavy burden. When you believe that you have to be perfect all the time, you can start to live in constant fear of making mistakes, no matter how small. Most children don't really know what perfectionism is, yet many suffer from it - they feel that nothing the ever do is good enough, school projects are hard to start or finish, relationships can seem far too challenging, and self-esteem can be desperately low. This informative and inspiring volume helps kids to understand what perfectionism is, how it can hurt them, and how they can free themselves of its restraining shackles.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Childrens, Self Help

144 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Thomas S. Greenspon, Ph.D., is a Licensed Psychologist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice. He earned his B.A. from Yale and his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Illinois. Tom lectures and writes on a variety of topics including perfectionism and the emotional needs of gifted children and adults.

Reviews

[Becky B · Rating 5 out of 5]

A guide for middle grade perfectionists on how to understand and recognize their perfectionistic tendencies, and specific steps to shifting your self-image from the unhealthy "imperfect" to the healthy "good enough."

Another teacher and I are doing a talk for teens on how to deal with perfectionism after Christmas break. It's a rampant problem among the students at our school in Asia, and both of us are adults in the process of managing it. I found this good to read for myself. There are some good reminders in here about how to have a healthy mindset even for someone who largely knows how to manage their perfectionism. Reading this gave me lots of practical ideas to pass on to the students, and I plan on adding a few copies of this book to the Media Center too so they can read it themselves. Even though it is aimed at middle graders, I think teens won't see it as too little kiddish. The writing is easy to understand but not dumbed down or goofy. All the advice is solid. I love that the author repeatedly encourages the kids to share things with their parents or other trusted adults and he includes a note to parents in the back to summarize what their child just read and how to help. I can see this book helping entire families to be healthier. Highly recommended for any perfectionists out there, or anyone who knows or lives with a perfectionist.

[Gretchen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Free Spirit Publishing line has created a number of books to help kids help themselves. This is one about perfectionism. I thought the language was at a very appropriate level for 4th grade and up and possibly third grade if their reading level is a little higher. The ideas are separated out clearly with plenty of examples of kid situations to help them understand. The book suggests that kids use a journal as they go through the book to help them think through many of the topics and their ideas about them. I also really liked that there is a part 2 in the book that tells kids about possible "larger" problems that might be looming where perfectionism could be a symptom and not a problem by itself. I could think of a few kids that aren't as severe as some of the examples but would benefit from reading some of the sections of this book and I would recommend it to them or their parents first as the case may be.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Thomas Greenspoon addresses the effects of being a perfectionist and how it can effect your life, but also goes in to what causes perfectionism and why people seek to be perfect. So, he then says how we can not think like a perfectionist and change how we act, then has us do activities to help us get started. I think this book is great for just about anyone who thinks they have to be perfect about everything. It provides useful insight about why people with perfectionistic qualities do what they do and how we can address them. I gave it 4 stars because it is great information, but some of it are things that most people have told over and over again.

[belle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartwarming guide about perfectionism written for kids that adults/teenagers can read too. Because it was written for kids, I didn't realize that perfectionism can develop at such as young age! I resonate with a lot of the situations that Dr. Greenspon mentioned. It's good to know that I'm not alone and the ways I can improve.

One star off because it was quite boring to read.

[Alexandra Edge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book I read to see if my child would benefit from. I think he will enjoy this book. The information was very good and laid out in a manner that a tween can relate to and process. The resources are a plus for me to look into if my son ever needs more options. Very lighthearted book by being optimistic about perfectionism.

[Macy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good resource and introduction to coping strategies for kids and adults!

[Kirsten Hobbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short, nice book if you have a child with perfectionist behavior. It is written for kids, around 4th grade and up. I got it for my 6 year old. I read it, and now we will go through parts of it together.

One thing I learned is that perfectionism is not trying to do really well. Rather it's FEAR of NOT doing really well. Also, it is not an emotional disorder on it's own. This clarification was helpful to me.

This books has clear definitions, as well as easy journaling assignments and experiments that I think will help my son manage his perfectionism, and calm down a bit.

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well. I read this book with my daughter, hoping to come up with some good coping mechanisms for her perfectionism and other quirks. I didn't realize I would learn so much about myself as well. Well written, easy for children and adults to relate to. If you have any perfectionistic leanings I would definitely recommend this!

[Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you have a child who is a perfectionist and is constantly being very hard on themselves, this book is for you.

I learned a few things and have some ideas on how to help my perfectionist child relax a little bit and realize that sometimes . . . good enough is, well, good enough.

[Sandi Mascio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for children and parents to read together!