3 1/2 stars. Woo buddy, look at this one go!!
Moral of the Story: Don't give B's to Type A's!!
Body Count: 2 1/2 (Mr. Reiner & Graham)
Gaping Plot Holes: At least one unexplained murder.
The Usual Suspects: Rick, the Delivery Boy, Scott, the Newspaper Boy, and Alex, Lily's boyfriend
The Guilty Party: Scott, but only for one murder. I suspect Alex of the other one.
Plot: So this Lily chick is like Bella Swan. Got three guys, at least, leaving drool on her pussy. More on that in a minute. Lily wants to be valedictorian of Shadyside High. We open with her wanting her teacher, Mr. Reiner, to change her grade from a B to an A. He refuses, and Lily tells her best friend Julie that she wishes she could murder him. Famous last words, Lily. In a place called Fear Street, you'd think these kids would be accustomed to every day slaughter. In fact, I'm sure Fear Street is where The Joker was born. Well, no surprise, Mr. Reiner winds up dead by like page 40. Lily is suspected, of course, but no one pursues it heavily. I do believe Stine writes that he is murdered, but no more is mentioned of Mr. Reiner's death in the rest of the book. We never find out who killed him. Enter Alex, Lily's boyfriend. He is bugging that Lily won't spend time with him because she is so busy competing for a scholarship and keeping her grades up. I'm pretty sure he murdered Mr. Reiner so that he could have Lily mostly all to himself. But we're supposed to love Alex, so this is never mentioned. There is a robbery at the store where Lily works (are we sure Fear Street isn't in Detroit?), and we are introduced to Rick the Delivery Boy who also has serious hots for Lily. Of course he immediately becomes a suspect, because he is a bit of a pest. Scott, we find out, ALSO has a crush on Lily. They work on the newspaper together. And there is Graham, Julie's cousin, who also constantly bugs Lily. Damn! Confused yet? Graham is also, as it happens, Lily's major obstacle for valedictorian. He wins the coveted position when he beats her in a trivia contest (really? I thought just grades decided that!). He's valedictorian for all of a day until Lily visits some printing press thing where there school paper is printed and finds his dead body. I had read Final Grade before when I was much younger, and I didn't remember any of it when I reread it - except for Graham's death. It's so epic and gruesome that you can't forget. He was pushed into the wheels of the printer and his bones came through the other side all crunched. BLOOD is being wheeled through the printer. It's awesome. This should totally be a movie. After Graham's funeral Lily comes home to find that someone has entered her house - and it's Scott! Could this be because he is the killer?! Yes, indeedy. His motive, of course, is that he is Edward Cullen - sorry, I mean, driven by an all-consuming passion. Also, he is a psychopath, natch. His plan is for he and Lily to be together forever, and he knew how much she wanted Graham dead so she could be in charge. Scott is a crazy bastard who controls Lily for most of the rest of the book, until the Final Showdown (you know the one). Julie is close to figuring out that the killer is Scott, and Lily hasn't said anything because she knows that no one will believe that she didn't want Graham dead. Scott forces Lily to call Julie and tell her to meet them at the printing plant, so that he can kill Julie like he killed Graham. He tells Lily that it is the only way. The only way to death row, yes. At the Printing Plant Showdown Awesomeness, Lily tells Julie to run for the hills, but she is stupefied and doesn't move. Bad idea, because Scott has a gun. He shoots at Julie and she falls to the ground. When she doesn't move, Lily pronounces her dead. She can't believe how quickly everything turned bad with Scott. Then there is a bunch of back and forth between Scott and No-Backbone Lily (she gets ahold of the gun, but can't bring herself to kill him), until Julie comes back to life (it was a fake gun, see?) and hits Scott over the head with a huge metal rod. Because this is the 90s and no killer is ever really dead, Scott grabs Lily's leg and keeps rambling on about how they are meant to be together forever (while blood is dripping from his mouth). Then the paramedics arrive. The next day the girls find out from Uncle Bob that the gun was fake and that all is relatively well. When Julie mentions what Lily might have learned from this, Lily pays her no mind. She basically says, "Who cares? I'm valedictorian, bitch!" Wow. Looks like RL Stine had been reading copious amounts of Sweet Valley at the time this book was written (1995).
Seriously, I'm so pissed they never told me who the fuck killed Mr. Reiner. And Kenny.