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Freedom and Destiny
The popular psychoanalyst examines the continuing tension in our lives between the possibilities that freedom offers and the various limitations imposed upon us by our particular fate or destiny.
"May is an existential analyst who deservedly enjoys a reputation among both general and critical readers as an accessible and insightful social and psychological theorist. . . . Freedom's characteristics, fruits, and problems; destiny's reality; death; and therapy's place in the confrontation between freedom and destiny are examined. . . . Poets, social critics, artists, and other thinkers are invoked appropriately to support May's theory of freedom and destiny's interdependence."—Library Journal "Especially instructive, even stunning, is Dr. May's willingness to respect mystery. . . .There is, too, at work throughout the book a disciplined yet relaxed clinical mind, inclined to celebrate . . . what Flannery O'Connor called 'mystery and manners,' and to do so in a tactful, meditative manner."—Robert Coles, America
"May is an existential analyst who deservedly enjoys a reputation among both general and critical readers as an accessible and insightful social and psychological theorist. . . . Freedom's characteristics, fruits, and problems; destiny's reality; death; and therapy's place in the confrontation between freedom and destiny are examined. . . . Poets, social critics, artists, and other thinkers are invoked appropriately to support May's theory of freedom and destiny's interdependence."—Library Journal "Especially instructive, even stunning, is Dr. May's willingness to respect mystery. . . .There is, too, at work throughout the book a disciplined yet relaxed clinical mind, inclined to celebrate . . . what Flannery O'Connor called 'mystery and manners,' and to do so in a tactful, meditative manner."—Robert Coles, America
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 1981
42 people are currently reading
1018 people want to read
About the author
Rollo May
86 books840 followersRollo May (April 21, 1909 – October 22, 1994) was an American existential psychologist. He authored the influential book Love and Will during 1969.
Although he is often associated with humanistic psychology, his philosophy was influenced strongly by existentialist philosophy. May was a close friend of the theologian Paul Tillich. His works include Love and Will and The Courage to Create, the latter title honoring Tillich's The Courage to Be.
Biography
May was born in Ada, Ohio in 1909. He experienced a difficult childhood, with his parents divorcing and his sister becoming schizophrenic. His educational career took him to Michigan State College majoring in English and Oberlin College for a bachelor's degree, teaching for a time in Greece, to Union Theological Seminary for a BD during 1938, and finally to Teachers College, Columbia University for a PhD in clinical psychology during 1949. May was a founder and faculty member of Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center in San Francisco.[1]
He spent the final years of his life in Tiburon on San Francisco Bay, where he died in October 1994.
Accomplishments
May was influenced by American humanism, and interested in reconciling existential psychology with other philosophies, especially Freud's.
May considered Otto Rank (1884-1939) to be the most important precursor of existential therapy. Shortly before his death, May wrote the foreword to Robert Kramer's edited collection of Rank’s American lectures. “I have long considered Otto Rank to be the great unacknowledged genius in Freud’s circle,” wrote May (Rank, 1996, p. xi).
May used some traditional existential terms in a slightly different fashion than others, and he invented new words for traditional existentialist concepts. Destiny, for example, could be "thrownness" combined with "fallenness" — the part of our lives that is determined for us, for the purpose of creating our lives. He also used the word "courage" to signify resisting anxiety.
He defined certain "stages" of development:
Innocence – the pre-egoic, pre-self-conscious stage of the infant.
An innocent is only doing what he or she must do. However, an innocent does have a degree of will in the sense of a drive to fulfill needs.
Rebellion – the rebellious person wants freedom, but does not yet have a good understanding of the responsibility that goes with it.
Decision – The person is in a transition stage in their life such that they need to be more independent from their parents and settle into the "ordinary stage". In this stage they must decide what to do with their life, and fulfilling rebellious needs from the rebellious stage.
Ordinary – the normal adult ego learned responsibility, but finds it too demanding, and so seeks refuge in conformity and traditional values.
Creative – the authentic adult, the existential stage, self-actualizing and transcending simple egocentrism.
These are not "stages" in the traditional sense. A child may certainly be innocent, ordinary or creative at times; an adult may be rebellious. The only association with certain ages is in terms of importance: rebelliousness is more important for a two year old or a teenager.
May perceived the sexual mores of the 1960s and 1970s, as well as commercialization of sex and pornography, as having influenced society such that people believed that love and sex are no longer associated directly. According to May, emotion has become separated from reason, making it acceptable socially to seek sexual relationships and avoid the natural drive to relate to another person and create new life. May believed that sexual freedom can cause modern society to neglect more important psychological developments. May suggests that the only way to remedy the cynical ideas that characterize our times is to rediscover the importance of caring for another, which May describes as the opposite of apathy.
His first book, The Meaning of Anxiety, was based on his d
Although he is often associated with humanistic psychology, his philosophy was influenced strongly by existentialist philosophy. May was a close friend of the theologian Paul Tillich. His works include Love and Will and The Courage to Create, the latter title honoring Tillich's The Courage to Be.
Biography
May was born in Ada, Ohio in 1909. He experienced a difficult childhood, with his parents divorcing and his sister becoming schizophrenic. His educational career took him to Michigan State College majoring in English and Oberlin College for a bachelor's degree, teaching for a time in Greece, to Union Theological Seminary for a BD during 1938, and finally to Teachers College, Columbia University for a PhD in clinical psychology during 1949. May was a founder and faculty member of Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center in San Francisco.[1]
He spent the final years of his life in Tiburon on San Francisco Bay, where he died in October 1994.
Accomplishments
May was influenced by American humanism, and interested in reconciling existential psychology with other philosophies, especially Freud's.
May considered Otto Rank (1884-1939) to be the most important precursor of existential therapy. Shortly before his death, May wrote the foreword to Robert Kramer's edited collection of Rank’s American lectures. “I have long considered Otto Rank to be the great unacknowledged genius in Freud’s circle,” wrote May (Rank, 1996, p. xi).
May used some traditional existential terms in a slightly different fashion than others, and he invented new words for traditional existentialist concepts. Destiny, for example, could be "thrownness" combined with "fallenness" — the part of our lives that is determined for us, for the purpose of creating our lives. He also used the word "courage" to signify resisting anxiety.
He defined certain "stages" of development:
Innocence – the pre-egoic, pre-self-conscious stage of the infant.
An innocent is only doing what he or she must do. However, an innocent does have a degree of will in the sense of a drive to fulfill needs.
Rebellion – the rebellious person wants freedom, but does not yet have a good understanding of the responsibility that goes with it.
Decision – The person is in a transition stage in their life such that they need to be more independent from their parents and settle into the "ordinary stage". In this stage they must decide what to do with their life, and fulfilling rebellious needs from the rebellious stage.
Ordinary – the normal adult ego learned responsibility, but finds it too demanding, and so seeks refuge in conformity and traditional values.
Creative – the authentic adult, the existential stage, self-actualizing and transcending simple egocentrism.
These are not "stages" in the traditional sense. A child may certainly be innocent, ordinary or creative at times; an adult may be rebellious. The only association with certain ages is in terms of importance: rebelliousness is more important for a two year old or a teenager.
May perceived the sexual mores of the 1960s and 1970s, as well as commercialization of sex and pornography, as having influenced society such that people believed that love and sex are no longer associated directly. According to May, emotion has become separated from reason, making it acceptable socially to seek sexual relationships and avoid the natural drive to relate to another person and create new life. May believed that sexual freedom can cause modern society to neglect more important psychological developments. May suggests that the only way to remedy the cynical ideas that characterize our times is to rediscover the importance of caring for another, which May describes as the opposite of apathy.
His first book, The Meaning of Anxiety, was based on his d
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
November 22, 2019
My second Rollo May and I'm really enjoying him.
In this book destiny is not meant in the poetic or storytelling sense of a path that one is meant to take. Destiny here is the set of circumstances of your life that you have very little, if any, control over. Rollo May then explores what freedom might mean within these constraints, which includes accepting fully the truth of them.
In the beginning May states that there are no solid answers to the main questions he poses and that this book will be a contemplation of those questions so this may not be like other psychology books you are used to. Also, he is looking not only at inner psychology, but also at the psychology of American culture. This was written in 1981, so he is very much dealing with meaning of the 60s and 70s on the culture but many of his conclusions about the pitfalls (and strengths) of our culture seem even more relevant and correct today than when he wrote them. He forsaw the direction we were headed.
I am deducting a star mostly because there is a case study he included which takes up a lot of room but for me does not connect well to the ideas in the rest of the book. I stepped away from this book a couple times because it wasn't holding my interest.
Otherwise, there are fascinating and wise ideas throughout. In relation to freedom and destiny, he touches on anxiety, creativity, mythology, psychology as a field of study, narcissism, love, death, and other things. This is not a book that you read without pause. There are many places to reflect on what he's talking about and I find most of those very interesting.
In this book destiny is not meant in the poetic or storytelling sense of a path that one is meant to take. Destiny here is the set of circumstances of your life that you have very little, if any, control over. Rollo May then explores what freedom might mean within these constraints, which includes accepting fully the truth of them.
In the beginning May states that there are no solid answers to the main questions he poses and that this book will be a contemplation of those questions so this may not be like other psychology books you are used to. Also, he is looking not only at inner psychology, but also at the psychology of American culture. This was written in 1981, so he is very much dealing with meaning of the 60s and 70s on the culture but many of his conclusions about the pitfalls (and strengths) of our culture seem even more relevant and correct today than when he wrote them. He forsaw the direction we were headed.
I am deducting a star mostly because there is a case study he included which takes up a lot of room but for me does not connect well to the ideas in the rest of the book. I stepped away from this book a couple times because it wasn't holding my interest.
Otherwise, there are fascinating and wise ideas throughout. In relation to freedom and destiny, he touches on anxiety, creativity, mythology, psychology as a field of study, narcissism, love, death, and other things. This is not a book that you read without pause. There are many places to reflect on what he's talking about and I find most of those very interesting.
March 15, 2023
It took me 3 months to read this book because just about every page had something that made me stop and think. This book isn’t meant to be ripped through. May presents some very big topics in life in a very approachable way. This book has really helped solidify my belief that life is truly happening FOR me. I will undoubtedly remember the first time I read this book for the rest of my life.
September 1, 2014
I don't think I'm capable of writing the sort of review of which this book is worthy. I read all of Rollo May's books shortly after graduating from college and they were life changing, and I only just returned to this book for a project.
Live. Changing. I will leave it at that.
Live. Changing. I will leave it at that.
January 23, 2021
Özgürlük kaderle mücadele ederken ortaya çıkar. Rollo May'in bu kitabında diğerlerinden daha çok şiir ve edebi eser alıntısı var. Bu nedenle diğerleri gibi hızlı akmıyor. Yine de güzel iç görüler var.
September 3, 2019
This book was first published in 1981 and it shows its age mainly in the lack of the thirty plus years of psychological research that have come after it. That said, I found much to like, still many sections to challenge my thoughts and my world view. I'm taking one star away because: (i) I disagree with some archaic points of view, especially the ones that showed evidenced of limited angloamerican-centric world view, (ii) some heaviness in the style, especially when he insists of using myth as an argument for reality, (iii) and for some sections in which he seemed to be high when he was writing them. Otherwise I think this book is fantastic and it's very relevant to 21st century readers.
February 29, 2016
It's a very useful and rich book. It's a classic book like Love and Will. According to May freedom and destiny are dialectically interdependent. One can't be genuinely free without recognizing the limitations that destiny imposes. When we are ready to face our destiny, then we can reach a higher level of freedom. We start by little freedom and attain more of it as a consequence of this confrontation. Destiny, in this sense, is different from determinism, because we are not fully determined like other creatures. In fact destiny encompasses determinism as one of its aspects.
March 3, 2018
Hiç beğenmedim. İki vermemin tek sebebi bazı alıntılar.
August 25, 2017
it took me 2 months to finish this book over slow mode, I consider this book as an eye opener for many theories/schools in philosophy and psychology.
I will summarize few ideas I liked and some quotes
"Freedom is also unique in that it is the mother of all values. If we consider such values as honesty, love, or courage, we find, strangely enough, that they cannot be placed parallel to the value of freedom. For the other values derive their value from being free; they are dependent on freedom.”
“Honesty is the best policy.” But if it is the best policy, it is not honesty at all but simply good business. When a person is free to act against the monetary interest of his or her company, that is the authentic value of honesty. Unless it presupposes freedom, honesty loses its ethical character. Courage also loses its value if it is supposedly exhibited by someone who is coerced into it.”
“Human dignity is based upon freedom and freedom upon human dignity. The one presupposes the other.”
“Encountering one’s destiny requires strength, whether the encounter takes the form of embracing, accepting, or attacking. Experiencing the emotional state of anger and conceiving of destiny means that you are freed from regarding yourself as too “precious”; you are able to throw yourself into the game, whatever it may be, without worrying about picayune details.”
“In psychotherapy, the closest we can get to discerning freedom in action is when a person experiences “I can” or “I will.” When a client in therapy says either of these, I always make sure he knows that I have heard him; for “can” and “will” are statements of personal freedom, even if only in fantasy. These verbs point to some event in the future, either immediate or long-term. They also imply that the person who uses them senses some power, some possibility, and is aware of the ability to use this power.”
“Those who can feel healthy despair are often those who also can at the same time experience the most intense pleasure and joy. Sartre was talking about a lif
I will summarize few ideas I liked and some quotes
"Freedom is also unique in that it is the mother of all values. If we consider such values as honesty, love, or courage, we find, strangely enough, that they cannot be placed parallel to the value of freedom. For the other values derive their value from being free; they are dependent on freedom.”
“Honesty is the best policy.” But if it is the best policy, it is not honesty at all but simply good business. When a person is free to act against the monetary interest of his or her company, that is the authentic value of honesty. Unless it presupposes freedom, honesty loses its ethical character. Courage also loses its value if it is supposedly exhibited by someone who is coerced into it.”
“Human dignity is based upon freedom and freedom upon human dignity. The one presupposes the other.”
“Encountering one’s destiny requires strength, whether the encounter takes the form of embracing, accepting, or attacking. Experiencing the emotional state of anger and conceiving of destiny means that you are freed from regarding yourself as too “precious”; you are able to throw yourself into the game, whatever it may be, without worrying about picayune details.”
“In psychotherapy, the closest we can get to discerning freedom in action is when a person experiences “I can” or “I will.” When a client in therapy says either of these, I always make sure he knows that I have heard him; for “can” and “will” are statements of personal freedom, even if only in fantasy. These verbs point to some event in the future, either immediate or long-term. They also imply that the person who uses them senses some power, some possibility, and is aware of the ability to use this power.”
“Those who can feel healthy despair are often those who also can at the same time experience the most intense pleasure and joy. Sartre was talking about a lif
August 20, 2009
May articulates that freedom in participation and freedom as non-participation are culturally construed. I created a class lecture titled , What does freedom do? to work with high school economics students about this idea: - When do I recognize I am being, or acting freely? How do I know when I am free? What are the characteristics of freedom? What does freedom do? in real situations, where the individual intersects the marketplace.
May 10, 2022
Great book by great author. Like Nietzsche, who "philosophies with a hammer", almost every May's paragraph is written with his own existence's sweat and blood. You can hear man talking and living in these pages :)
July 6, 2016
Not as interesting and insightful as I anticipated, unfortunately, but I still like this theory. I had already been exposed to many of these ideas. May also seemed to contradict himself at times.
May 18, 2025
. Great book
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August 14, 2023A beautiful, compassionate, and erudite book which posits that freedom - the freedom to make choices and deal with one's destiny- is essential to living. And we can all have the freedom to deal with our destinies - if only in our own mind.
" He who owns a slave is as much enclaved as the person he owns; slavery destroys the freedom of both. " p. 7
" I propose that the purpose of pyschotherapy is to set people free ...from symptoms... from compulsions." 19
"In the words of the ex-slave Frederick Douglass...power concedes nothing without demand...it never did and it never will."77
"The pause is especially important for the freedom of being, what I have called essential freedom. For it is in the pause that we experience the context out of which freedom comes. In the pause we wonder, reflect, sense awe, and conceive of eternity. The pause is when we open ourselves for the moment to the concepts of both freedom and destiny." p. 164
"Forgiveness means to overcome the resentment - to 'cast out remorse' which is the curse that accumulates in most human relationships." p. 230
" He who owns a slave is as much enclaved as the person he owns; slavery destroys the freedom of both. " p. 7
" I propose that the purpose of pyschotherapy is to set people free ...from symptoms... from compulsions." 19
"In the words of the ex-slave Frederick Douglass...power concedes nothing without demand...it never did and it never will."77
"The pause is especially important for the freedom of being, what I have called essential freedom. For it is in the pause that we experience the context out of which freedom comes. In the pause we wonder, reflect, sense awe, and conceive of eternity. The pause is when we open ourselves for the moment to the concepts of both freedom and destiny." p. 164
"Forgiveness means to overcome the resentment - to 'cast out remorse' which is the curse that accumulates in most human relationships." p. 230
March 13, 2024
I didn’t get the point of the author in this book, to whom he wrote for the book and which group/section of the society is he targeting?
I had the courage to finish the book from cover to cover lest I miss anything meaningful, but I regretted the time and money I spent on this one.
Rollo lacks the basic skills to be an author(in this book), he failed to connect the topics with each other, or shed the light to the reason for his work or at least to make a good conclusion. He mentions in the beginning that the book will provide psychological solutions to the crisis of freedom and flee from destiny, which I couldn’t find except the introductory metaphor.
The author payed a lot of energy on mentioning another authors of his generation in every two lines by name which distorts both the narrative & the reader, and somewhere in between the chapters he suddenly puts his effort to critique the work of another author in the field—the way he informs the reader about their friendship, gives his critique insights another meaning.
I had the courage to finish the book from cover to cover lest I miss anything meaningful, but I regretted the time and money I spent on this one.
Rollo lacks the basic skills to be an author(in this book), he failed to connect the topics with each other, or shed the light to the reason for his work or at least to make a good conclusion. He mentions in the beginning that the book will provide psychological solutions to the crisis of freedom and flee from destiny, which I couldn’t find except the introductory metaphor.
The author payed a lot of energy on mentioning another authors of his generation in every two lines by name which distorts both the narrative & the reader, and somewhere in between the chapters he suddenly puts his effort to critique the work of another author in the field—the way he informs the reader about their friendship, gives his critique insights another meaning.
November 24, 2025
In comparison to today's self-help books which convey advices such as "go beyond your limits" or "awaken the giant within" or "art of not giving a f*#k" & so on, this exceptional piece of literature, published in 1981, teaches one to accept one's limits and within these limits (destiny) look for their freedom - freedom not in the fantastic sense of 'you're the universe and universe you' - but freedom as per your realistic situation in life. Illustrated with real case examples, this book deals with realistic challenges faced by every human being in the course of their lives. Anyone having a familiarity with Rollo May's previous work or existentialism will love reading this book without a doubt.
July 30, 2021
حیف از این کتاب که ترجمه خوبی نداشت و ویراستاری نشده بود
رولو می توی این کتاب با الهام از داستان های اساطیری و بعضا شرح حال مراجعه کنندگان خودش در کار روان درمانی، به تحلیل و بررسی آزادی و سرنوشت و نقش آنها در زندگی انسان پرداخته
نشر ارجمند
ترجمه سیدمحمدباقر حسینی فیاض
رولو می توی این کتاب با الهام از داستان های اساطیری و بعضا شرح حال مراجعه کنندگان خودش در کار روان درمانی، به تحلیل و بررسی آزادی و سرنوشت و نقش آنها در زندگی انسان پرداخته
نشر ارجمند
ترجمه سیدمحمدباقر حسینی فیاض
January 3, 2013
A very interesting and accessible analysis of free will versus destiny. May articulates some of the very thoughts I'd been slowly realizing, but hadn't yet become fully conscious of until I found myself nodding in agreement as I read the book. At other times, I had to stop reading entirely just to process an entirely new way of looking at freedom, and the inherent consequences and responsibilities that it implies, that I'd never considered before. I suspect this will be a book I'll revisit in the future.
August 16, 2007
The only thing I don't like about this book is the case study it included to illustrate it's points. Rollo May is best when he delves into the constucts of "freedom" and "destiny" themselves.
I would recomend this book to almost anybody that in search for a sustaining sense of liberation, and who has been dillisuined by the egocentric consumerism that developed from honest attempts to seek freedom through endulgance.
I would recomend this book to almost anybody that in search for a sustaining sense of liberation, and who has been dillisuined by the egocentric consumerism that developed from honest attempts to seek freedom through endulgance.
October 15, 2010
Fascinating and really well written book about a classic subject (free will vs. destiny). I found myself talking to people about the stuff I was reading in here for weeks after reading it. I would recommend this to anyone interested in personal growth and figuring out why people do what they do.
July 17, 2009
Accessible, thought-provoking observations in this book. I especially enjoyed the wide range of resources May uses to elaborate his ideas.
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May 30, 2019وقتی از مرگ هراسان هستیم اما گریزی از آن نیست. اندیشیدن درباره مرگ افسردگی و دلمرگی به همراه ندارد. مرگ همراه زندگی است. تقابل بی معنا است. باید با آن همراهی کرد
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews