Nein, Nein, Nein!: One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust

by Jerry Stahl

Now in paperback and featuring an interview with Ben Stiller; A guided group tour to concentration camps allows Stahl to confront personal and historical demons with both deep despair and savage humor IN SEPTEMBER 2016, JERRY STAHL was feeling nervous on the eve of a two-week trip across Poland and Germany. But it was not just the stops at Auschwitz, Buchenwald, and Dachau that gave him anxiety. It was the fact that he would be traveling with two dozen strangers, by bus. In a tour group. And he was not a tour-group kind of guy. The decision to visit Holocaust-world did not come easy. Stahl’s lifelong depression at an all-time high, his career and personal life at an all-time low, he had the idea to go on a trip where the despair he was feeling―out-of-control sadness, regret, and fear, not just for himself, but for the entire United States―would be appropriate. And where was despair more appropriate than the land of the Six Million? Seamlessly weaving global and personal history, through the lens of Stahl’s own bent perspective, Nein, Nein, Nein! stands out as a triumph of strange-o reporting, a tale that takes us from gang polkas to tourrash to the truly disturbing snack bar at Auschwitz. Strap in for a raw, surreal, and redemptively hilarious trip. Get on the bus.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, History, Audiobook, Humor, Holocaust, Germany

288 pages, Paperback

Published April 2, 2024

About the author

Jerry Stahl (born September 28, 1953) is an American novelist and screenwriter, He is best known for the darkly comedic tale of addiction, Permanent Midnight, which was revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted readers, as one of the most compelling, contemporary memoirs. A film adaptation soon followed with Ben Stiller in the lead role, which is widely considered to be Mr. Stiller’s breakthrough performance. Since their initial paring, the two have become lifelong friends and collaborators.

One of Stahl’s mentors and greatest influences, the late American Novelist, Hubert Selby, Jr. had this to say about Permanent Midnight, “Absolutely compelling... Permanent Midnight is an extraordinary accomplishment... A remarkable book that will be of great value to people who feel isolated, alienated, and overwhelmed by the circumstances of their lives.”

Jerry Stahl has worked extensively in film and television.

Reviews

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

" . . . which begs the question 'What kind of man takes a concentration camp getaway?' How ****ed up would your life have to be for this to be just the pick-me-up you need to put the spring back into your step? Well, listen . . . " -- from the author's introduction, on page 16

I'm mostly unfamiliar with author Stahl's work - although I'm aware that the 1998 movie Permanent Midnight (starring Ben Stiller), adapted from his memoir, was based on a drug-addled rough patch in his professional life - he brings a unique voice and some mildly disturbing thoughts to his 'vacation' chronicle Nein! Nein! Nein!. Stahl spent two weeks on a tour-bus trip through Germany and Poland visiting the notorious sites like Auschwitz, Buchenwald, and Dachau. With an unending stream of dark humor he discusses his own screwed-up life, his fellow passengers (who, like a G.I. infantry squad in an old WWII movie, represent sort of a diverse cross-section of the good 'ol U.S. of A.), and the pure evilness that once caused the locales to actually exist in the first place. The author can be somewhat of a divisive or abrasive figure - his opinionated political talk may cut the potential audience in half, and some of his comparisons of Nazi Germany to modern-day America will be just way too extreme for some tastes - but when he reigns it in to focus on the horrors and/or ripple effects of said camps his book, which was not quite great but often pretty good, truly hits its stride.

[Andrew]

Two things I think are fucking hilarious about the reviews down there of Nein, Nein, Nein – one, the people who are turned off by the dark humor, in which case, why did you buy this? What about it made you think you could like it? Of course he’s going to laugh about all the grotesquerie, how could he not? I mean, all of my Jewish friends have a finely honed repertoire of humor about these subjects, and to quote Stahl’s buddy Marc Maron, “there must have been some amazing jokes in Auschwitz.”

Second of all, the “why is he getting polittttttical” camp (pun intended). Which reminds me of the people who complain about mentions of slavery on plantation tours, again wtf were you expecting? Did you honestly think that the Holocaust was an apolitical event? You came for the edge, but couldn’t handle the sharpness, so fuck you too.

Oh my, I haven’t said anything about the book yet! It’s funny, and given that the subject is not purely Stahl himself, it’s a lot more universal and sympathetic than Permanent Midnight in its tone. If you are, as the aforementioned reviewers are, delicate in constitution or politically conservative, it won’t be for you, but let’s face it, those are two groups of people I am unlikely to share too many opinions with.

[Jo Berry ☀️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounding up. This book could have been more than it was. It’s all too brief and unfocused. The writing is chaotic, with many stops, starts and tangents, which made it hard to follow.

The author begins the book by telling us (in a rather disjointed fashion) about his issues with mental health, addictions, family, work and Donald Trump. This is all mixed in with descriptions of the other people on his bus tour as it starts its journey in Warsaw. It’s not until chapter nine we reach the first camp - Auschwitz. We then go on to Buchenwald and Dachau, also stopping at Munich, Nuremberg and Dresden along the way. There are some interesting descriptions, facts and anecdotes here, but because of the writing style, they get lost in the clutter and confusion. The book definitely needs more content about the places visited, but the author acknowledges he didn’t make proper notes on the tour and the notes he did make, which were written down on the backs of napkins etc, were accidentally thrown away later by his cleaner. It shows.

Also, I read this as an ebook, but I think it might be better if you can find the audiobook version, as the author seems to write as they speak. Hearing the author in their own words might make it easier to follow. I also think the book would have benefited from some photos and illustrations (there’s only one simple map at the beginning).

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only Jerry could pull off such a devastatingly humorous self-reflective commentary on the 20th century (mankind's) greatest atrocity with such ... humanity. I've long looked up to Jerry Stahl as a writer I aspire to be like. His latest might be his best since Permanent Midnight. Which is saying a lot.

[Mainlinebooker · Rating 1 out of 5]

I actually did not read..I made it to 50 pages and couldn't take it anymore. I will admit that he is a good writer but reading this was like watching someone laughing hysterically to cover up their pain. I did not know about Jerry Stahl and his life but his self hatred and depression told with this dark dark humor is not my style. I had a different idea what the book was about and this just turned me off in a big way.

[Kerry Pickens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jerry Stahl is a writer most well known for his memoir Permanent Midnight which was adapted to film with Ben Stiller playing the lead role. Stahl was a drug addict as well as screenwriter, which made for interesting stories and seems pretty mild today with all the Harvey Weinstein and P. Diddy scandals hitting the news This new memoir is about his trip to visit the Holocaust concentration camps, and is written with his usual dark humor. When I say dark humor, I mean under the bed dark. If you don't appreciate that view point on life, then you probably won't like any of his writings but I do.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always a pleasure to read new Jerry Stahl. Listening to the audiobook, it was especially cool to hear the book read by the author himself.

[Jennifer Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It feels wrong to say you enjoyed a book on this subject, but I did. It was heavy, but not too heavy. There were no wasted words, such a rarity these days, as it seems like most authors try to work as many words as possible into each sentence. I appreciated when the author pointed out the parallels with current events. I cannot for the life of me understand why more people aren't doing this and trying to stop it. The humor was just right for me. Really liked when he was fantasizing about pushing a smug little Holocaust denier into the oven. Also the part about the young nazis being the first incels. Was going to say sorry if this offends anyone, but I couldn't care less about offending certain groups.

[Alex James · Rating 1 out of 5]

All the Trump bashing kinda ruined this for me. Like in every chapter. Just listen to him on Bret Easton Ellis podcast instead.

[Cool_guy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jerry Stahl tries to put the pain of his divorce and separation from his children in perspective with a guided bus tour of the big concentration camps. It's a funny premise. Unfortunately Stahl, like so many liberals of his generation, has fallen victim to Trump. What should be a classic tale of neurotic self-abasement gets derailed by MSNBC tinged political ruminations. Everything in the camps reminds him of Donny. Rather than, I don't know, an actual fascist. Maybe I'm being unfair. I don't ask my boomer parents to read 18th Brumaire or Robert Paxton, so why would I expect it from Bad Boys II writer Jerry Stahl?

And he writes in that awful boomer-Reddit-Lin Manuel Miranda diction. Remember 2016, when people said Trump would be good for comedy? Looks like we're in for a treat. I've completely strayed from my thoughts on the book. It's fine, great for an airplane. Two and a half stars

[Emory · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was perfect for someone like me who also often partakes in "dark tourism", although I've never visited any concentration camps. A lot of my vacations revolve around visiting celebrity gravesites (the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in LA; Dennis Hopper in Taos, NM; Ryan Dunn in Ohio), museums about death, etc.

I really enjoyed reading about his travel mates, as it was interesting to find out why different people would go on a concentration camp tour.

Stahl's writing is witty and dark and the perfect amount of acidity I love in a writer. This was a quick read and I plan to read a lot more of his work.

[Brian Rothbart · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure saying I enjoyed this book is correct because of the subject matter, but I enjoyed this book. If you have read anything from Jerry Stahl then you are familiar with his dark humor, which this book has in full force. However, even though how tough the subject matter that is covered in this book it doesn't take away from the reading of this wonderful, interesting book. Part memoir, part travelogue. Stahl does a great job weaving the two. One might say this would be the book that Hunter S. Thompson would have written if he travelled to Poland and Germany. If you are looking for something different, something dark, but also insightful than I highly recommend you pick up this book.

[Grant · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dark, both in subject matter and in comedy: a lot of the humour is from excruciatingly awkward situations or conversations that gave me flareups of secondhand social anxiety.

Stahl feels honest and is plenty willing to acknowledge his failings. It feels like somewhat of a rare book in an author describing mental health troubles as an ongoing problem for them, not necessarily as an upward trajectory or downward spiral. But what's really under the microscope is the strange dichotomy of Holocaust tourist traps and ambient anti-Semitism lingering in Europe.

[Angela Coleman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could’ve been SO good had the author left out his personal political views.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

“There is no deodorant for desperation.”

[Stefanie Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book follows the tour around World War II sites where events of the Holocaust took place. The author visited Auschwitz, Buchenwald, and Dachau, as well as some other places. He discusses the people on the tour, some of whom I found to be very disrespectful and am sure that I would have been in a fist fight with. As a history major who focused on World War II history, I would love to take a tour like this, which is why I got this book.

This book was a little less than six hours to listen to, so I finished it today at work. I like these books that I can listen to in one shift. The physical book is just under 300 pages if you are interested in that. I will say that I would have preferred a different narrator, but it wasn't unbearable to listen to. Overall, I found it to be an interesting recollection of both the author's life and his experiences traveling through sites related to the Holocaust.

[Jongorenard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Récemment, ma fille de 16 ans m’a surpris en m’annonçant qu’elle aimerait visiter des camps de concentration. Voulant en savoir plus sur ce tourisme de l’ombre, je me suis lancé dans la lecture de "Nein, Nein, Nein !", le dernier roman de Jerry Stahl dont j’avais entendu parler dans les médias.
« Quel genre d’homme se dit : "Tiens, et si je me faisais une petite virée dans les camps de la mort" ? Il faut avoir une vie en vrac total pour voir en ce dispositif le remontant idéal, le seul capable de vous remettre d’aplomb, non ? »
Je ne pense pas que ce soit le cas de ma fille, mais c’est celui de Jerry Stahl, dépressif de longue date et bien connu pour ses mémoires imbibées de drogue.
Découvrant qu’il existait des circuits touristiques sur l’Holocauste, Jerry Stahl s’est dit qu’en « [s]'imposant une situation où le malheur était de rigueur, l’expérience […] [lui] apporte[rait] une nouvelle forme de soulagement ». Ou comment soigner son malheur en le nourrissant. Son improbable virée en autocar avec un groupe d’une quinzaine de touristes l’a conduit à Auschwitz, Buchenwald et Dachau, sans oublier le ghetto de Varsovie, le musée Schindler, la fête de la bière de Munich et Nuremberg.
Dans un flot ininterrompu d’humour noir, l’auteur raconte sa propre vie détraquée et la pure cruauté qui a permis à ces lieux d’exister, le tout saupoudré de remarques caustiques pour les touristes. Auschwitz ? Meilleur parking et toilettes gratuites « derrière la chambre à gaz ». Buchenwald ? La cafétéria la plus sympathique où l’on peut « déguster un succulent déjeuner ». Et n’oubliez pas de porter des chaussures confortables si vous ne voulez pas succomber « à un oignon au pied chopé dans un camp de la mort ».
Dans une langue acérée et pleine d’autodérision, il parle ainsi de la banalisation du mal et de sa rage contre l’absurdité humaine, n’hésitant pas à railler ses compatriotes avec qui il voyage : Tad et Madge, par exemple, un couple digne de Disney World, en shorts rouges assortis, Shlomo, un septuagénaire de Chicago qui soutient Trump ou Doug et Tito, deux « véritables professionnels du voyage organisé » qui intercalent l’excursion sur l’Holocauste entre un séjour de 13 jours en Irlande et une croisière de 21 jours en Alaska.
J’ai trouvé que Jerry Stahl jetait un regard inhabituellement mordant sur l’Holocauste en s’interrogeant sur ce tourisme macabre. De temps en temps, au milieu du sarcasme ou de l’ironie, émerge la vraie question qui anime le livre : « la présence, sur le site d’un génocide, de touristes braillards agglutinés en une horde compacte a-t-elle un quelconque impact sur la gravité des événements ? » Stahl trouve logiquement pathétique et tragique le fait de transformer l’inimaginable en une excursion d’une journée. Mais il est surpris d’être à la fois incapable de comprendre l’énormité des crimes génocidaires et respectueux de ce qui a été préservé et commémoré pour que les gens puissent le voir.
L’auteur est une figure intellectuelle décapante et clivante. Ses opinions politiques diviseront les lecteurs et certaines de ses comparaisons entre l’Allemagne nazie et l’Amérique d’aujourd’hui pourront paraitre extrêmes. Il établit par exemple un parallèle entre les nazis et les membres de la foule qui a pris d’assaut le Capitole des États-Unis le 6 janvier 2021, « vu que les tee-shirts et sweats à capuche arborés par les sbires lyncheurs-défécateurs de Trump comportaient des logos rigolos du type Camp Auschwitz ». Mais elles ont le mérite de pointer les poussées nationalistes et populistes actuelles en Europe ou en Amérique et invitent à réfléchir à leurs dérives malsaines ou violentes.
De plus, lorsqu’il se calme pour se concentrer sur l’horreur, il place le lecteur simplement face à la vérité de ce qui s’est passé. Et c’est là qu’il brille, car le récit ne glisse jamais vers un manque de respect pour les victimes de l’Holocauste. Le cœur de Stahl est toujours à la bonne place et reste humble face à la réalité qui s’offre à lui. Son habileté à manier l’humour rend encore plus puissants ces apartés d’un sérieux mortel. « J’aimerais que la douleur et la souffrance causées par la Shoah et les sentiments provoqués en nous lorsque nous nous y confrontons puissent servir de passerelle vers le martyre enduré par d’autres », déclare-t-il dans un passage.
Jerry Stahl sort de cette expérience dans un état probablement différent de celui auquel il s’attendait malgré l’« incapacité à ressentir » qu’il s’attribue à lui-même. Aucune lecture ne peut préparer quelqu’un, tout comme aucune prétention ou posture ne peut le protéger de l’impalpable vérité des meurtres nazis ou génocidaires. Et finalement, conclut-il, peu importe si l’Holocauste est devenu une industrie lucrative. « Rien, en définitive, ne saurait diminuer la cuisante gravité émanant des lieux concrets arpentés par les martyrs, nos ancêtres. […] On pourrait parler de rédemption des vivants par les morts. C’est là le cadeau suprême. L’horreur suprême. Et la seule réalité qui compte, après tout. »
Une belle et digne conclusion pour cet ajout vivant, audacieux, parfois perturbant à la littérature sur le génocide. C’est caustique, souvent à mourir de rire et maniaque dans sa mise à mal du tourisme de l’Holocauste. Il nous remet à l’esprit des énigmes qui interrogent l’âme et que les traitements pudiques de la Shoah étouffent parfois. Je n’ai pas ressenti de culpabilité en me surprenant à y rire ou sourire. Le pouvoir de l’humour, la tension et le contraste entre rire et pleurer peuvent vraiment servir de tremplin grâce auquel nous apprenons à mieux nous comporter les uns envers les autres au cours de notre bref séjour sur terre.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Anything interesting, profound, or even funny that Jerry Stahl has to say about his trip to Auschwitz and other Holocaust sites gets buried under al of his crass, morbid, and irritating profanity laden comments and observations, not to mention all of the sexually explicit, inappropriate and disturbing tangents he includes about his own life. The most unlikeable and unsympathetic memoir subject I've ever read. I only finished it because he is a super slow narrator so I could listen to him at 1.40 speed and it only took 5 hours.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dang Jerry Stahl might. e a hard person to be and/or be with, but goddamn if he isn't a super-talented writer. So funny, so smart, so original in his thoughts.

Memoir about how he went on a bus tour of concentration camps during Covid while his personal life was imploding (not for the first time). Focuses on the experience of going on that tour (versus telling us about the camps themselves -- that is ground that has been trodden already, obvi.) Distressing about the antisemitism he encountered while there, including skinheads in Poland.

I didn't have any trouble for being Jewish when I've been to Eastern Europe, but it's been a few years. Def nervous about what it might be like now. Great read, not as heavy as I'd feared. But not exactly a walk in the park, obviously, either.

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

A smarty-pants visits the Concentration Camps of Germany and Poland. I appreciate his motivations, but his Hollywood genius snark about the bad pizza at Aushwitz doesn’t really address the bottomlessness of of the subject.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writer’s style definitely took awhile to get used to…he overshares about his train wreck of a personal life, about the happenings between the various group tour members, and his political views which result in frequent forced comparisons between the Nazis and the Trump administration.

Early on I found myself frustrated, but stuck with the book as the author does a fantastic job of interweaving some of the saddest and most painful facts and stories from the holocaust….he doesn’t gloss over what occurred in these camps. He also does well in sharing how the camps themselves have mutated into modern tourist traps with long lines and cafeterias and snack bars. Despite the disturbing commercialization of the camps, the author still had a deep and meaningful experience. A similar trip remains on my bucket list even if the experience may be more disappointing or less authentic than if I had gotten around to that trip ten to fifteen years ago.

[Robin Docherty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh.

This is my introduction to Jerry Stahl and I suspect (and hope) it's a bad one. At its best it's fine. The Donald Trump jokes are especially stale, but that should've been predictable even as Stahl wrote this. There's no sense of the timeliness of such bits, as Stahl seems to not consider that his jokes are of such a specific time and climate that even a couple years removed they barely land at all, let alone well.

Am I being too harsh? Probably, sure, but I'm still confident when I say I just don't give a shit about this book. What it seems to say is surface level, and the surprises it delivers are too basic to be meaningful. I don't hate it exactly and I know enthusiastic readers will be aghast at my criticisms, but I found so little to like, let alone love.

[Juanita · Rating 2 out of 5]

Review: Nein, Nein, Nein! by Jerry Stahl. 2* 07/21/2022

I read some of this book because I received it from the Early Reviewers Books. It suppose to be a memoir of the author traveling in 2016 with a bus tour group through Poland and Germany. The author wrote this with bland humor and I feel that there was no humor in the Holocaust. I read as much as I could which were almost a hundred pages and I couldn’t read anymore.

[Locturne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think only this writer could have have made me read 300 pages about a Holocaust tour in a bus.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nein, Nein, Nein!: One Man’s Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust is written by Jerry Stahl.
This ARC (Advance Reading Copy) was sent to me by Akashic Books in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.
The title is a bit ‘quirky’ and I nervously approached it. Holocaust Tourism? Depression? Psychic Torment? Bus Tour? What was I getting myself into? Will I offend people if I read it? If I don’t read it?
I am a little familiar with Jerry Stahl. I like irreverence. I like humor - dark humor, self-deprecating humor. I am familiar with depression and humor is always a good anecdote. I am ‘on the fence’ about bus tours. I have the utmost respect for someone who completed a bus tour of Holocaust sites in Germany and Poland.
I hopped aboard this book with no expectations.
Two weeks later and I am pleased that I read Mr. Stahl’s book.
The book jacket and the publisher’s Press Kit give a full synopsis of Nein, Nein, Nein!
“In September 2016, Jerry Stahl was feeling nervous on the eve of a two-week trip across Poland and Germany. But it was not just the stops at Auschwitz, Buchenwald and Dachau that gave him anxiety. It was the fact that he would be traveling with two dozen strangers, by bus. In a tour group. And he was not a tour-group kind of guy.
The decision to visit Holocaust-world did not come easy. Stahl’s lifelong depression at an all-time high, his career and personal life at an all-time low, he had the idea to go on a trip where the despair he was feeling — out-of-control sadness, regret and fear, not just for himself, but for the entire United States — would be appropriate. And where was despair more appropriate than the land of the Six Million?
Seamlessly weaving global and personal history, through the lens of Mr. Stahl’s own bent perspective, Nein, Nein, Nein! stands out as a triumph of strange-o reporting, a tale that takes us from gang polkas to tour-trash to the truly disturbing snack bar at Auschwitz. Strap in for a raw, surreal, and redemptively hilarious trip. Get on the bus.”

I had to take several ‘breaks’ while reading. The subject matter and Jerry Stahl, himself - both were
a bit much to absorb in one session. The subject of the Holocaust is so emotional (beyond words) and the thought of a bus tour with fellow passengers (way beyond words). And Jerry, himself, is a bit better in small doses. I like self-deprecating humor, but I kept muttering TMI, TMI (too much information) over and over again.
And I really had to research Holocaust Bus Tours. Is Jerry Stahl pulling my leg or are they a real thing? Look it up!!!! Holocaust Tours are real!!!

I like the set-up of the book. There is an Introduction - a Map (I do love a map) - 27 Chapters - Acknowledgements and an excellent conversation between Jerry Stahl and Ben Stiller (an edited conversation from October 12, 2022).

My personal comments include:
I did like the writing very much.
I was astounded (and embarrassed) that there was such a thing as the bus tours. (“a Nazi Stations of the Cross” as Mr. Stahl noted on p.200).
I liked the conversation between Ben Stiller and Jerry Stahl.
Chapter 27 - Compassion Portal - was my favorite chapter.
This is a very unique book. Emotional. Depressing. Embarrassing at times. Tragic. Humorous.
Unbelievable at times. Sarcastic. Insightful. Historical.
I don’t think I will be taking a bus tour, let alone a Holocaust bus tour anytime soon, if ever.
I don’t even know how to begin to think about the commercial side to these tours. Book Shops?
T-Shirts? Birthday Cards? Cafes? Good-Luck charms? Snack Bars?
I loved Chapter 2 where Jerry Stahl chronicled the purchase of a new suitcase. Hilarious.
I liked the question he raised on p.228 “Is depression a lifestyle?”
The terms “technocluelessness” on p. 46 and “trauma porn” on p. 18 and “Boomer Reference
Alert” on p. 48
Questions: Is there such a thing or a genre as Comedy Noir? Travel Noir?
I gave Nein, Nein, Nein! 4 Stars **** I would definitely recommend this title.

[Cherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very strange book. I am terrible with names and didn't know who the author was, but I came across it at the library when browsing the shelf of other travel guides. In some ways, I am absolutely not this guy's target audience, but in other ways, I feel like I might be his perfect audience, and the timing of reading this now, as Trump tries to blow up the federal government and is hiring honest-to-god real neo-nazis to do it. The book was published in 2022 about a tour taken in 2015. There is some eerie symmetry to how his pre- and post-Trump commentary weaves in with all the media coverage of the past couple weeks.

The book is raunchy and rude and often anti-German and anti-Polish, which certainly makes sense as one traverses the lands where one's grandparents were murdered and where certain groups still try to minimize the evils that were done. His vegetarian experience in nearly-present-day Germany and Poland was far worse than mine ever was in Germany and Armenia (I haven't been to Poland), which makes me believe that was self-inflicted, that he did not tell his tour group in advance (or ever?!) that he was meat-avoidant. People WILL give you weird looks and they WILL be confused. (you don't eat meat... do you eat fish? fowl? beans? cheese? etc. ... it's just not a distinction they are used to making mentally, like an english-speaker learning russian trying to get a handle of the critical difference between two words for different blues, or a japanese-learner figuring out modes of speech or whatever.) But they will also try to find something you can eat, even if it is just a lot of fresh vegetables and bread or something.

I have not been to any of the specific sites visited in this tour, but I have been to a concentration camp, and I had a similarly jarring (and post-traumatic weird dream inducing) experience, and I also was one of those people making inappropriate witticisms. I was at Mauthausen with my parents and got separated from them because I got too wrapped up in all the details and didn't see when they moved on to another area. This was in the gas chamber/crematorium area and as I started looking for my parents, I said something to someone about having lost my mother in the gas chamber; I am confident I followed it up with something to indicate that this was a living person I was looking for and had they seen her, but still.

One of the details that stands out in my memory is seeing people there working on new barracks in the old concentration camp. Being able to see barracks how they really were is an important part, just like being able to look at those places where they shot people through the neck or rooms where people were gassed and others where they were burned is important. But it is surreal to imagine being the person who is erecting barracks in a concentration camp in the 21st century. (That was 2008 or 9 or something, I think?)

And then we come back to today, where our Dear Leader has decreed that we will erect a new KZ Lager in our illegally occupied land at Guantanamo, so we can spend ridiculous amounts of money per prisoner to hold them outside of our legal borders. It's surreal and scary and I don't know what I can do about it.

[Brumaire Bodbyl-Mast · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stahl’s travelogue provides a noteworthy exploration of “holocaust tourism” from his branded cynical perspective. Colorful insights regarding the way the camps are displayed, his fellow tourmates, the nature of the buses, and other factoids he knows about the holocaust and holocaust adjacent media fill the pages and provide a both hilarious and devastating read. His detailed prose offers both insight into his own thoughts and mind while on the tour (especially regarding the interactions with then-present sensations to past experiences, or things in his life then thousands of miles away) as well as the locales he visits. The humorous parts often comingle with some of the darkest aspects of his own time there, but do mostly separate from the actual tours of the camps. There’s a few instances which this does contradict, but seeing as this is an account of real events I don’t see this as being in bad taste. If anything it does bring into view how horrible some aspects of this historical site tourism can be- such as non-kosher food being served at Auschwitz, the general disrespect for the dead of those on the tour, and of course the inability for people to be solemn. The ending section also brought something into relief I’ve thought about since returning from Jordan, often times it can take a while to truly digest experiencing both a foreign country and especially visiting sites which are plagued with controversy or are incredibly different from your own life. While obviously nowhere near as comparable, images from my trip flash vividly in my mind randomly, forcing me into daydreams where I can recollect perfectly moments I experienced, as he sees the hair pilled up in Auschwitz or the images of starving children. I almost regret not reading it prior to my trip, but ironically my own travelogue proved similar in terms of its text. His prose is very much stream of consciousness (a very boomer one, which I can appreciate at times, as even with their dated reference, boomer and gen x writers can have a certain timeless gravitas to them that younger folks just aren’t capable of yet) but this can prove frustrating when he constantly non stop talks about random anecdotes from the Trump years which dates the book. While I don’t disagree with him on Trump by serious means (I think he’s largely the same as most presidents merely more boisterous) the constant mentions of the 45th president and anger at him really do make you wonder if “Trump Derangement Syndrome” is a diagnosable condition.

[Fleeno · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2016 Jerry Stahl - atheist jew, script writer, author, ex junkie, recent 3rd time divorcee, and vegetarian, decided to head out on a holocaust coach tour. This is a bit of a mixture of Stahl's thoughts on his sobriety, relationship, lack of faith, and a history of the Holocaust. In addition to the tour he has done extensive research of the Third Reich and camps. At time there is dark humour and political commentary as he compares the Nuremberg Trials and crimes of the Nazis to the United States invasion of Iraq (amongst others) and the war crimes they will seemingly never be held accountable for. The question Stahl asks through the book is: “Does the act of visiting a genocide site in a horde of crowded, braying tourists impact the gravitas of genocide?” I have to admit it is odd to have a canteen outside Auschwitz, houses and advertising outside Dachau, and Woody Allen books in the bookstore. Stahl's dark humour and observations won't be for everyone however it did make me feel better for lamenting the lack of seats in Auschwitz (before being reminded comfort wasn't top priority for the nazis when designing a death camp). In the end, Stahl acknowledges that it is impossible to stand in the death camps and not be rendered cold, unable to comprehend the enormity of the crimes committed, and also reverent of what has been preserved and memorialized so that people can see it."Nothing, in the end, can diminish the searing gravitas of the physical place on which the martyrs, our ancestors, walked. On which, as Yahweh (or Eichmann) intended, we experience the vigorous, well-earned, necessary despair of confronting humanity at its worst—of seeing our own reflection in the hellhouse mirror. My message of hope—and obligatory (if questionably) redemptive antidepression—is that the Holocaust was not an exception. It is the time between holocausts that is the exception. So savor these moments. Be grateful. Even if the ax is always falling."

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somehow missed this one when it was first released, but publicity for the paperback release caught my attention.

This book is not for the thin skinned or the faint hearted.

On the occasion of the crumbling of his second marriage and his deepening depression, Jerry does what anyone would. He books a bus tour of concentration camp sites in Poland and Germany. Some people would have chosen to see a therapist, but I’ll bet the bus trip was cheaper.

The telling is somewhat disjointed, as the sights and people bring to mind stories from his past. After relating these sometimes lengthy flashbacks, we return with a jolt to the tour: Oh, yeah, we were walking through the gas chambers.

The descriptions of cafeterias, gift shops, and pay toilets at the camps was disconcerting, to say the least. Certainly it takes money to keep these historical places open to the public, but hearing about the same kind of kitschy gift shop you exit through at Ruby Falls or Rock City made me queasy. As did the people chowing down on burgers and pizza at the Auschwitz Snack Bar. And especially the American jerk (why is there always an American jerk?) complaining to his new bride about the lack of authenticity, and how the gas chamber reminded him of a pizza oven, so he was heading on over to the snack bar, and did she want a slice or not?

Stahl is cracking jokes all the way through, but they are generally the darkest, grimmest kind of humor, so be forewarned. Also, if you own a red baseball hat with four certain words on it, you’re not gonna like this book. The rest of you will likely learn something you didn’t know about the camps, or at least about the people who visit or work there.

[Woody Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are squeamish and/or easily shocked, then Jerry Stahl is NOT for you! I "discovered" him years ago with his memoir, "Permanent Midnight" and he never fails to deliver. The man is a former Pittsburgher of the Jewish faith and while I am a lapsed Catholic, I could pass for a Jew. I feel a rapport with him and I find his sardonic, twisted humor, well, humorous. I have read of him being compared to W.S. Burroughs, but there is one glaring difference - Stahl remains comprehensible throughout! Burroughs veered off into a netherworld of incomprehensibility at some point and lost me. I like most of Stahl's spokespeople - Ben Stiller, James Ellroy, Lydia Lunch, Jim Carroll, Hubert Selby JR, et al. I draw the line at Anthony Bourdain, who for all his pretentious hardness, decided to silence himself. Guess what? Most of the people I listed, including myself, aren't really happy in our own lives and yet, we muddle through! You're done? I'm done with you, Mr. Hardcore! Stahl's fiction reads like a blend of Jim Thompson, Chuck Palahniuk, Irvine Welsh & a mélange of '60s spy spoofs while his nonfiction memoir material is like a gut-punch followed by an uppercut and then a knee to the groin. If you don't find yourself affected after reading his stuff, then you should a) check for a pulse, b) see about a psych eval and/or c) hire out as a paid assassin. Oh, yeah, BTW, since mine was an Akashic imprint and they are the purveyors of the worldwide "Noir" series, they included a map of the sites that Stahl visited! Perfect. Beautiful.