I Never Do This: A Novel

by Anesa Miller

“I will tell all in full truth and will hold nothing back to protect myself from the eyes of the law...I’m the only one who can tell it all.” In country noir style, we hear the unforgettable voice of a young woman, LaDene Faye Howell, who finds herself in police custody recounting her story after her paroled cousin Bobbie Frank appears and engages her in a crime spree. LaDene Faye Howell grew up in the small town of Devola on an oxbow of the Muskingum River in southeast Ohio. Her conservative family is deeply religious, although another branch of the Howell clan are notorious criminals. When one of her outlaw relatives returns from prison, LaDene hopes the two of them may share an evening of fun, or even a spark of romance. Instead, Bobby Frank embroils her in kidnapping their old high school principal.  Taken into custody, LaDene recounts her misadventures in the form of a dramatic monologue. Pledging to “tell all in full truth” she hopes to keep herself out of jail and perhaps even soften Bobby’s likely sentence. She aims to capture her listeners’ sympathy by recounting a history she has never shared her teenage pregnancy and confinement at an unforgiving evangelical facility for wayward girls.

216 pages, Paperback

Published April 16, 2024

About the author

As a child, Anesa Miller resisted schooling and had to be pushed to keep up with her classmates. On a car trip across the Great Plains, her mother threatened that there would be no lunch until Anesa read several pages aloud from A Is for Annabelle. Under pressure, the seven-year-old buckled down, focused on the page, and gained a sudden insight into the link between letters, sound, and meaning. A passion for reading and love of literature were born.

Anesa’s attitude toward education improved rapidly. She attended Occidental College in Los Angeles and developed a fascination for the Russian language. She made her first trip to the Soviet Union in 1974, where a hotel maid offered condolences on the resignation of President Richard Nixon. “Such a pity for your country!” The Americans on the study-abroad program explained that his resignation was not such a tragedy.

own_on_branchAt the University of Kansas, Anesa received a Ph.D. in Slavic Languages and Literatures. She translated scholarly essays, edited books, and taught at universities as well as elementary schools. After the end of the Cold War, when college enrollments in Russian language courses declined, Anesa returned to writing poems and fiction, which she had enjoyed throughout her youth.

Anesa was awarded an Individual Artist Fellowship in Creative Writing from the Ohio Arts Council in 1998. Her poems and prose have been published in The Kenyon Review, The Cream City Review, The California Quarterly, Spoon River Poetry Review, and many others. She now devotes herself to writing full-time.

Married to the neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, Anesa divides her time between northwest Ohio and Moscow, Idaho. The couple have three grown children.

Reviews

[Lora Chilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

In true Gothic novel form, Anesa Miller's novel, I Never Do This, is full of suspense, mystery, secrets and a little dose of horror. The main character is LaDene Faye Howell, a 27 year old single woman who has lived a quiet life since her teens, working as an LPN.
All that changes when her second cousin breaks into her apartment, fresh out of prison. LaDene Faye has fond memories of their early childhood family gatherings and recalls how he protected her from bullies at school. Their reminiscing takes a dark turn when they encounter their former high school principal and kidnap him.
Told in first person by LaDene, the story weaves in and out of the past and present with ease.
Anesa Miller is gifted with her descriptions of small town life in Ohio, using colloquial expressions that cause the reader to smile.
I Never Do This is cleverly written and is begging for a sequel.

[Kaitlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

This had the potential to be a really good story. The writing style could have been cool, but it wasn’t. It was bad. And there’s no ending, it just stops. I want to take my one star back.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read this was! I very much enjoyed the story as much as the writing. As eloquently and beautifully crafted as the main character's discourse is, it never loses the its oral quality that brings the story and its characters to life. The mystery drew me in immediately and kept me reading until the very end, which, as good endings do, allows room for imagination.

[Lorraine Devon Wilke · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating novel told from the perspective of LaDene Faye Howell, a fierce young woman who’s caught in the world of rural Ohio and a deeply religious family comprised of criminals, fundamentalists, and occasionally empathetic siblings. When her first foray into sex lands her pregnant, she’s sent to a home for wayward girls, where her experiences cover the gamut and inform her complex view of the life and people that surround her. Always committed to her own decisions, she decides, against her family’s wishes, to give her baby up for adoption, and from there attempts to construct a life she can manage. But the unexpected emergence of an ex-con cousin, Bobby Frank, takes her on an unpredictable detour. What starts as a bit of an adventure with hints of potential (if misguided) romance, ultimately ensnares her in Bobby’s dark decision to kidnap their old high school principal, leading them both to an inevitable and unfortunate conclusion.

Thought I found the ending a bit abrupt, my interest and fascination held throughout. Anesa Miller is a skilled and compelling storyteller, and her clear grasp of the life, the people, the textures of the world in which she sets her story are never in doubt. A powerful read.

[Erin Van Rheenen · Rating 5 out of 5]

My six-word review: Propulsive hillbilly noir tackles reproductive rights.

Longer review:
LaDene Howell, this novel’s protagonist, delivers a mesmerizing monologue that rushes along like a rain-swollen river, as she explains to the police what led to her and her cousin Bobbie’s recent crime spree. Suffice to say, it was a long time in coming, and there are a lot of secrets to uncover. I won't go into specifics so as not to ruin any surprises, but this is definitely a story for our times, what with the overturning of Roe v. Wade and the smug and callow young men spouting, "Your body, my choice." The rise of the far right has put women at risk once again. Religious fundamentalism takes a disproportionate toll on women—still—especially young women who want to make their own decisions about their own bodies.

This isn't a political novel, not at all. But the characters' predicaments highlight many social problems, including what happens when young women don't have control over their own fertility.

This would be a great book club read -- lots to talk about. Or send ten copies to your favorite conservative politician!

[Roberta · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short novel provides a fast-paced entertaining tale and an opportunity to reflect – a worthy goal of any work of fiction.

While it is not meant to be profound, the book addresses the very real conflict for women with the issues of family, survival and the roles of women in the 21st century, in a down-to-earth, yet slightly wacko situation. Her clear voice engages readers with her honesty, vulnerability and hidden strengths, while still inviting a sense of unreliability in her tale that can keep one wondering.

[Sheila Grinell · Rating 5 out of 5]

LaDene Howell is a 27-year-old nurse who works in an old people’s residence in southern Ohio. She narrates this gothic tale, in first person, from inside a police station where she and her much-loved cousin, Bobby Frank, are being questioned. Her voice is winsome, and you sympathize with the past trauma she has endured. You wonder, what, if anything, has she done wrong, and why has she abetted her fresh-from-prison cousin? Read on for hints that things may not be what they seem. I Never Do This is pitch-perfect psychological mystery, beautifully written, captivating, and memorable.

[Kate W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, I RARELY do this: rave about a novel. But I Never Do This has it all: a compelling first-person narrative that never breaks character; magnificent descriptions; a cast of characters that all feel nuanced and real; and a plot and structure that kept me reading from the first page to the last. The entire time, I mentally compared I Never Do This to Barbara Kingsolver’s Demon Copperhead…and this book is definitely in the same league. Brava, Anesa Miller!

[Simi Monheit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could listen to LaDene Faye Howell for hours. In fact, I did. In Miller's masterful writing, I heard the words pour from LaDene's own mouth, telling her truth as only she could. This quiet, unassuming woman has depths and secrets and stories to share, which come pouring out in the way of a police interview as she recounts the events of that night, and oh, so much more. Your heart will break, you'll fight back a few tears, and you'll laugh out loud. A wonderful read.

[K.N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting story told in a monologue by a young woman raised in a family of limited opportunities and dashed dreams. I didn’t want to put the book down and didn’t want it to end… would’ve appreciated just a few more pages for closure. Wonderful example of Modern Midwest Gothic - a character’s voice so authentic. This would make an intriguing stage play and contains excellent material for speech team monologues! Unforgettable and heartbreaking.

[Conrad Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very impressive. This is a suspenseful thriller that refuses to follow the formula. No stock characters, just people like in real life, and the author made me care about them and regret their bad choices. A worthwhile book in every respect.

[Adrio Tannelio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I wasn't expecting to get so drawn in to this story. The heroine was like one of my own friends and I had to hear her story. It kept me turning the pages to the end. It's a sad story in some ways, but still hopeful. I'll be reading it again for sure.

[Angela Barr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked the way this main character told her own story and brought you into her life and her secrets. The plot was interesting and seemed very realistic. I'm hoping there will be a sequel because I want more to happen. Recommended to my friends.

[Brynn Taglio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met this writer at our downtown bookstore and all my friends read her book. It's about a teenage girl who gets sent to a home for misbehaving kids. Very sad, but we had hope for her to get a better future. It's a very good book.

[Fiona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

[Jess Philly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could not finish

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting

[Jennifer Ollom · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am just wth. A lot of detail in the story. A good story but to end like that. As my kids always said with movies that ended weird, there better be a part 2!

[Glenda Bixler · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://gabixlerreviews-bookreadershe...


Also

https://youtu.be/VdyHP6H14-M?si=z_uQo...

[Alexis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got lured in by the way LaDene decides to tell the cops everything about her life though it wasn’t necessary. In my opinion it felt like a way to draw out the story. No sympathy or explanation for what LaDene and her cousin do is really given. Plus the romantic tension between those two gave me such a huge ick. Aside from my expectations not being met because the synopsis mislead me into believing this a crime thriller, this book is overall just something that I read.