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Between the Listening and the Telling: How Stories Can Save Us
Stories tether us to what matters our families, our friends, our hearts, our planet, the wondrous mystery of life itself. Yet the stories we've been telling ourselves as a civilization are killing Fear is wisdom. Vanity is virtuous. Violence is peace. In Between the Listening and the Telling , author and activist Mark Yaconelli leads listeners into an enchanting meditation on the power of storytelling in our individual and collective lives. We tell stories to remember who we are. We tell stories to savor the pleasure of living. Stories can be medicine, and they can transform entire communities. Through his work with The Hearth nonprofit, Yaconelli has spent thousands of hours listening to people as they grieve loss, deepen friendships, strengthen families, shed light on injustice, and recover hope. In this moving exploration he shows us how individuals and communities can recover the practice of storytelling to address the despair of climate change, the trauma of school shootings, the tragedy of undocumented immigration, and the daily struggle for meaning. With a foreword by Anne Lamott, Between the Listening and the Telling offers an alloy of story, commentary, and meditation. In an era of runaway loneliness, alienation, global crisis, and despair, sharing stories helps us make a home within ourselves and one another.
1 pages, Audio CD
Published January 17, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
August 17, 2025
I had never heard of this author. But this morning when I was clearing out my LFL donation box, his book appeared. I am not usually attracted to short stories (other than mysteries), but for some reason, the premise of his got to me.
Anne Lamott wrote the foreword. Her first sentence,
“Mark Yaconelli is an unusual person, as brilliant as he is plainspoken.”
She went on to share his different attributes. Showcasing him as someone who could be an activist, or a goofball, charismatic, deeply articulate yet compassionate and silly. Something she felt, we as readers would find between these pages.
I felt compelled to do exactly what she suggested. Open this book.
And so, I did.
I began to read.
And I only stopped for breakfast.
And then again for some routine chores.
And then again for our dog walk.
And then when we got back from our walk, I stuck my nose in the book, and read some more, until I finished it.
Every time I found something I loved of his that he said, I added the quote to my favorites on my page. You will find a lot of those quotes either within this review or below.
I was mesmerized by his words. His thoughts. I literally was entranced.
What I have come to learn over the course of my reading life, is that storytelling is an art form. A true storyteller will capture us immediately. And if they don’t, we as readers, will become impatient, sometimes, regretfully critical. (After all, read some of our reviews!)
When writers can capture us at the beginning, we are in for a heart-felt read. And that is what obviously happened here for me.
Take for instance, the author’s first sentence in his first story, “A Place the Soul Once Knew.”
“There are moments, often unexpected, when you find yourself at home in your own life.”
I live within those moments, too. I live a present moment life. Not all of us do. We are in a hurry. We have things to do, life expects that of us. But, here in this moment, he has us standing at his kitchen window watching the weather, listening to the birds. He is recognizing how distant he has become from life itself. And asking a very difficult question of himself…
“How long was I out?”
This is a very sobering question, indeed. He is referring to life as we have all experienced through this pandemic. The helpless despair. Withdrawing from public spaces.
(I personally still don’t go to public closed spaces; i.e., restaurants, movie theatres, large group events. And, if I go to a grocery or retail store or a doctor’s office, I still wear a face mask, even though it is no longer required. So, I get what he shares here.)
He questions our humanity to one another. He talks about the impact at schools. Friends. Family. Relationships.
In some ways, he is giving us in this first story, an introduction to what is to come throughout the book – an opening to his soul of storytelling.
And…To the many storytellers he has experienced to this point…in his lifetime.
There will be 180 pages, 12 stories, 3 interludes (short disconnected stories with their own soft setting, so to speak), an acknowledgements and notes.
He will take us back through his childhood, into his present, and share anecdotes of what he sees around him. We will be a passenger on a journey with him as he shares his experiences and observations – of the listening – and the telling.
There is so much within his short stories that I can relate to, that I almost feel like we have led parallel lives. (I believe many readers might feel similarly.)
As an example, in his story, “The Catacombs,” he shares a lot about his dad.
I could relate to what he shared when he said,
“One way to become a storyteller is to have a father who is impatient, busy, easily distracted, whose attention you crave.”
The author spoke of how often his father was unavailable for most of the important events in his life. I remember resenting my father for those very same things – especially missing my high school graduation. And yet, if I attended some work event of my father’s, his colleagues would gather around me and share how much my father would rave about how proud he was of me. They would then go ahead and list all of my many accomplishments, as I would stand blushing in shock, never realizing how important I was in the eyes of my father. Because I never heard him share any of this, EVER with me personally.
Still…My Dad, was my role model, and so much of what this author shares, his father did for him, too. It was always the little things. We gained so much through the little things. The stories they shared. We listened to their every word.
And in this way, we learned. And we grew. And we became the best version of ourselves, too. Through our own stories.
“The transformation occurs in the space between one heart and another. To be heard by someone who is present, open, and caring is to be led into freedom.”
As I am reading along, in his story “Pure Medicine,” the author asks,
“If stories are relational, if their power is to connect us to others, to our own hearts, our values, and the natural world, then why are we so estranged from one another? Why is the earth suffering from such mindless exploitation? Why are there skyrocketing increases in depression?”
He brings up a good point. He talks about the time we invest in social media “reading” stories, and how we allow it to consume us. Not always in a good way. Concerned that if this goes unchecked, our distractions could ruin us.
We may yearn for connection with others – but…
He makes us question whether we are truly connecting – if we are allowing ourselves to be exploited by various media or political and corporate interests.
Is our mindless consumption of stories disconnecting us from our humanness – our ability to connect face-to-face with each other?
The author reminds us in this story – that storytelling is being human together.
We need this reminder so much in today’s world.
I have provided a selection of quotes below that I think compliment his stories well. I highly recommend this book. It will do your soul good.
I’d like to close with the author’s own words…
“We live in a world that is alive and generous and in need of care. Strangely, paradoxically, it is in serving and singing and telling our stories to one another that we discover the homecoming we’ve been longing for has been here, among and within us, all along.”
Anne Lamott wrote the foreword. Her first sentence,
“Mark Yaconelli is an unusual person, as brilliant as he is plainspoken.”
She went on to share his different attributes. Showcasing him as someone who could be an activist, or a goofball, charismatic, deeply articulate yet compassionate and silly. Something she felt, we as readers would find between these pages.
I felt compelled to do exactly what she suggested. Open this book.
And so, I did.
I began to read.
And I only stopped for breakfast.
And then again for some routine chores.
And then again for our dog walk.
And then when we got back from our walk, I stuck my nose in the book, and read some more, until I finished it.
Every time I found something I loved of his that he said, I added the quote to my favorites on my page. You will find a lot of those quotes either within this review or below.
I was mesmerized by his words. His thoughts. I literally was entranced.
What I have come to learn over the course of my reading life, is that storytelling is an art form. A true storyteller will capture us immediately. And if they don’t, we as readers, will become impatient, sometimes, regretfully critical. (After all, read some of our reviews!)
When writers can capture us at the beginning, we are in for a heart-felt read. And that is what obviously happened here for me.
Take for instance, the author’s first sentence in his first story, “A Place the Soul Once Knew.”
“There are moments, often unexpected, when you find yourself at home in your own life.”
I live within those moments, too. I live a present moment life. Not all of us do. We are in a hurry. We have things to do, life expects that of us. But, here in this moment, he has us standing at his kitchen window watching the weather, listening to the birds. He is recognizing how distant he has become from life itself. And asking a very difficult question of himself…
“How long was I out?”
This is a very sobering question, indeed. He is referring to life as we have all experienced through this pandemic. The helpless despair. Withdrawing from public spaces.
(I personally still don’t go to public closed spaces; i.e., restaurants, movie theatres, large group events. And, if I go to a grocery or retail store or a doctor’s office, I still wear a face mask, even though it is no longer required. So, I get what he shares here.)
He questions our humanity to one another. He talks about the impact at schools. Friends. Family. Relationships.
In some ways, he is giving us in this first story, an introduction to what is to come throughout the book – an opening to his soul of storytelling.
And…To the many storytellers he has experienced to this point…in his lifetime.
There will be 180 pages, 12 stories, 3 interludes (short disconnected stories with their own soft setting, so to speak), an acknowledgements and notes.
He will take us back through his childhood, into his present, and share anecdotes of what he sees around him. We will be a passenger on a journey with him as he shares his experiences and observations – of the listening – and the telling.
There is so much within his short stories that I can relate to, that I almost feel like we have led parallel lives. (I believe many readers might feel similarly.)
As an example, in his story, “The Catacombs,” he shares a lot about his dad.
I could relate to what he shared when he said,
“One way to become a storyteller is to have a father who is impatient, busy, easily distracted, whose attention you crave.”
The author spoke of how often his father was unavailable for most of the important events in his life. I remember resenting my father for those very same things – especially missing my high school graduation. And yet, if I attended some work event of my father’s, his colleagues would gather around me and share how much my father would rave about how proud he was of me. They would then go ahead and list all of my many accomplishments, as I would stand blushing in shock, never realizing how important I was in the eyes of my father. Because I never heard him share any of this, EVER with me personally.
Still…My Dad, was my role model, and so much of what this author shares, his father did for him, too. It was always the little things. We gained so much through the little things. The stories they shared. We listened to their every word.
And in this way, we learned. And we grew. And we became the best version of ourselves, too. Through our own stories.
“The transformation occurs in the space between one heart and another. To be heard by someone who is present, open, and caring is to be led into freedom.”
As I am reading along, in his story “Pure Medicine,” the author asks,
“If stories are relational, if their power is to connect us to others, to our own hearts, our values, and the natural world, then why are we so estranged from one another? Why is the earth suffering from such mindless exploitation? Why are there skyrocketing increases in depression?”
He brings up a good point. He talks about the time we invest in social media “reading” stories, and how we allow it to consume us. Not always in a good way. Concerned that if this goes unchecked, our distractions could ruin us.
We may yearn for connection with others – but…
He makes us question whether we are truly connecting – if we are allowing ourselves to be exploited by various media or political and corporate interests.
Is our mindless consumption of stories disconnecting us from our humanness – our ability to connect face-to-face with each other?
The author reminds us in this story – that storytelling is being human together.
We need this reminder so much in today’s world.
I have provided a selection of quotes below that I think compliment his stories well. I highly recommend this book. It will do your soul good.
I’d like to close with the author’s own words…
“We live in a world that is alive and generous and in need of care. Strangely, paradoxically, it is in serving and singing and telling our stories to one another that we discover the homecoming we’ve been longing for has been here, among and within us, all along.”
December 19, 2022
Lots of good things to take from this. Short and sweet and didn’t feel like he was beating a dead horse repeating ideas as is often the case.
December 23, 2022
Loved this book! Speaks to the humanity in all of us. The importance of telling stories and how they can heal.
Read
July 25, 2022From the first page to the end I was deeply connected to this book. Why? the subtitle tells it all, "How Stories Can Save Us." When the pandemic hit and my sons, husband, and I found ourselves trapped by the four walls and our separation from the rest of the world we all sought out connection to others in whatever means we could; reading, zoom, phone, and so on. This book helped connect the dots on why this was so important. We are hardwired for sharing who we are via story with others. Mark weaves his work with The Hearth and its participants stories together to help illustrate how the story we share can bring people together for a common good, to heal and rebuild, and ultimately to help ourselves in the stories we share, or desire to share. As a community leader and coach, I found these stories and the outcomes of each event to be inspiring and hopeful.
July 3, 2022
An enjoyable, thoughtful read. The author reminds us that Not every story is worth the listening, especially if it harbors a lie. I appreciated -- and listened to -- the stories told in this book.
October 9, 2022
I pretty much cried the entire book… Tears of joy, sadness, compassion, hope, and action.
August 17, 2023
Inspiring
March 4, 2024
I love a good story and realized from reading this, that it is that I love relating to people the most. Stories do this. 🥰 beautiful quick read. Or listen in my case.
April 12, 2024
Absolutely adored this. A book about how stories are so important in our lives and how they help us navigate grief, joy, activism, and most importantly, bring us together as humans. This made me cry. There were a lot of religious aspects to this book which I personally cannot relate to at all but it took nothing away from it for me. Highly recommend this to everyone.
April 12, 2024
What a lovely book that shares the importance of storytelling. Stories matter. Including the stories we tell ourselves and others.
April 21, 2024
This book will reinvigorate any person striving to find and nurture the better life for humankind. Simply put, the stories of life will save the future!
October 8, 2024
Love the concept of listening circles and how telling our stories creates community and meaning.
May 9, 2025
A lovely book full of stories that highlight how stories bring us together. Though the author is religious he is very open to secular thinking which I appreciate.
August 10, 2024
on the verge of tears throughout. too good
July 1, 2022
The power is not in the telling. It's in the listening. And...the key to storytelling is: what was desired, what the struggle was, and what was learned. Thoughtfully written. Some of the stories quoted are so poignant. Interesting for any reader. Especially so, for a writer.
August 28, 2022
Having recently read several books on storytelling, including The Moth’s How to Tell a Story and Gareth Higgen’s How Not to be Afraid, I wondered why spend time reading another on the topic. Anne Lamott’s forward drew me in. The author’s having a diploma in spiritual direction from San Francisco Theological Seminary and experience with Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary intrigued me. While his points are in communion with other authors, his experiences and stories are uniquely from his own life experience and listening to others tell their stories. I loved this book & value the author’s work! It’s well written, engaging, and moved me over & over again. (I received a free copy of this book for the purpose of writing a review)
May 5, 2024
The power of story can transform each of us, our family, our community, and the world. In this concise, engaging work, Yaconelli shares his heart, soul, and passion for the power of listening, and bringing out the deep and meaningful stories that each of us has in our hearts and souls.
This work is a call to action and a call for meaningful times with others, as we listen and relate to each other.
I found myself inspired and motivated, and also empowered to find and tell my own stories, thereby healing myself and those I love.
This work is a call to action and a call for meaningful times with others, as we listen and relate to each other.
I found myself inspired and motivated, and also empowered to find and tell my own stories, thereby healing myself and those I love.
May 6, 2024
When my favourite street theologian, Anne Lamott, calls a book “an owner’s manual for the soul,” I buy it and savour every page of it. The nourishment was deeply satisfying. I’ll try and convey some of that richness in this review. But, as always, nothing can substitute for reading the book yourselves.
The book was written in the midst of the COVID pandemic. It was, as we well remember, a time of disorder, disconnection, dislocation, disorientation, distress, and death. We were dragged into a liminal space, into a jarring realization that “the old stories of mindless consumerism, environmental exploitation, economic inequality, white-body supremacy were killing us.” We needed to hear and tell new stories. Yaconelli provokes us into that transformative practice.
Yaconelli notes that all the great wisdom traditions believe that such a transitional stage in human maturing is necessary for transformation. For him, the gift of this disordering has been “the uncovering of our fundamental cravings for one another, for the natural world, for family, for rest, for healing, for reconciling the divisions the old stories have kept alive.” He invites us to contribute to that transformation through the simple, yet profound, act of telling stories to each other.
Yaconelli believes that stories are our source of interdependent identity, connecting us to the ecosystems that nourish us with our core values of communion and contribution. If telling and listening to stories in gatherings of any kind can revitalize those values, and he is convinced they can, then stories can save us by activating our soul selves.
Among the banquet of provocative insights laid out in this book, three stood out:
1. it takes patience to wait for the emergence of a sense of safe space to tell the deepest stories that have shaped us, often stories of suffering and shame that has been or is being overcome in community;
2. what is often heard when the listening is open and compassionate is a sense of longing for a nourishing connection and companionship; and
3. our deepest longings hover around a desire to come home.
The final words of the book capture Yanconelli’s simple, but profound, invitation to recapture the benefits and blessings of listening to and telling stories with each other in the midst of feeling fatigued, crushed, and overwhelmed by the wilderness of our separated ego-selves:
"We live in a world that is alive and generous and in need of care. Strangely, paradoxically, it is in serving and singing and telling our stories to one another that we discover the homecoming we’ve been longing for has been here, among and within us, all along."
Feast yourselves on this banquet of stories and insights that will nourish you to flourish in saving this world.
The book was written in the midst of the COVID pandemic. It was, as we well remember, a time of disorder, disconnection, dislocation, disorientation, distress, and death. We were dragged into a liminal space, into a jarring realization that “the old stories of mindless consumerism, environmental exploitation, economic inequality, white-body supremacy were killing us.” We needed to hear and tell new stories. Yaconelli provokes us into that transformative practice.
Yaconelli notes that all the great wisdom traditions believe that such a transitional stage in human maturing is necessary for transformation. For him, the gift of this disordering has been “the uncovering of our fundamental cravings for one another, for the natural world, for family, for rest, for healing, for reconciling the divisions the old stories have kept alive.” He invites us to contribute to that transformation through the simple, yet profound, act of telling stories to each other.
Yaconelli believes that stories are our source of interdependent identity, connecting us to the ecosystems that nourish us with our core values of communion and contribution. If telling and listening to stories in gatherings of any kind can revitalize those values, and he is convinced they can, then stories can save us by activating our soul selves.
Among the banquet of provocative insights laid out in this book, three stood out:
1. it takes patience to wait for the emergence of a sense of safe space to tell the deepest stories that have shaped us, often stories of suffering and shame that has been or is being overcome in community;
2. what is often heard when the listening is open and compassionate is a sense of longing for a nourishing connection and companionship; and
3. our deepest longings hover around a desire to come home.
The final words of the book capture Yanconelli’s simple, but profound, invitation to recapture the benefits and blessings of listening to and telling stories with each other in the midst of feeling fatigued, crushed, and overwhelmed by the wilderness of our separated ego-selves:
"We live in a world that is alive and generous and in need of care. Strangely, paradoxically, it is in serving and singing and telling our stories to one another that we discover the homecoming we’ve been longing for has been here, among and within us, all along."
Feast yourselves on this banquet of stories and insights that will nourish you to flourish in saving this world.
January 11, 2023
Thoughtful, engaging, well written, and moving. I encourage anyone involved in community work or leading organizations to read this book.
“Between the Listening and the Telling:
How Stories Can Save Us”
Mark Yaconelli
Broadleaf Books
Publication date: 9 August 2022
“We map our world in story. The world falls apart. We map a new world. Again and again we story our lives in order to situate ourselves: I am here, not there. I am here and long to go there. Once found, new possibilities emerge. Curiosity rises with us. We feel the pull to discover new countries, traverse new oceans.”
— Mark Yaconelli
“Everything is held together with stories,” he thought. “That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion.”
— Barry Lopez, “Winter Count”
Storyteller, author, and activist Mark Yaconelli helps us find and craft the stories worth telling: of repair, and justice, and truth, and empathy—leading us into meditation on the power of storytelling in our individual and collective lives. With a foreword by Anne Lamott, who describes the book as “an owner’s manual for the soul”, “Between the Listening and the Telling” offers a combination of story, commentary, and meditation. In an era of runaway loneliness, alienation, global crises, and despair, sharing stories helps us make a home within ourselves and one another.
In introduction, Lamott writes: “As we struggle with the realities of injustice and inequality, the consequences of the pandemic, and the greatest environmental catastrophe of history, Mark Yaconelli offers personal experiences, practical guidance, and stories of resurrection. In this time, like no other, we long for hope and connection. Yaconelli shows us the psychological, spiritual, and logical underpinnings of his work as an organizer of community storytelling events … By asking the right questions and listening to the answers, he helps people feel their humanity and worth again when these have been stripped away …”
Ultimately this book is about the soul of storytelling and the recovery of that natural, accessible, medicinal power that waits within every person, within every community. Every life holds beauty. Every life encounters suffering. Every life is a struggle to claim dignity and worth. And each of us has lived a story worth telling.
“Between the Listening and the Telling:
How Stories Can Save Us”
Mark Yaconelli
Broadleaf Books
Publication date: 9 August 2022
“We map our world in story. The world falls apart. We map a new world. Again and again we story our lives in order to situate ourselves: I am here, not there. I am here and long to go there. Once found, new possibilities emerge. Curiosity rises with us. We feel the pull to discover new countries, traverse new oceans.”
— Mark Yaconelli
“Everything is held together with stories,” he thought. “That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion.”
— Barry Lopez, “Winter Count”
Storyteller, author, and activist Mark Yaconelli helps us find and craft the stories worth telling: of repair, and justice, and truth, and empathy—leading us into meditation on the power of storytelling in our individual and collective lives. With a foreword by Anne Lamott, who describes the book as “an owner’s manual for the soul”, “Between the Listening and the Telling” offers a combination of story, commentary, and meditation. In an era of runaway loneliness, alienation, global crises, and despair, sharing stories helps us make a home within ourselves and one another.
In introduction, Lamott writes: “As we struggle with the realities of injustice and inequality, the consequences of the pandemic, and the greatest environmental catastrophe of history, Mark Yaconelli offers personal experiences, practical guidance, and stories of resurrection. In this time, like no other, we long for hope and connection. Yaconelli shows us the psychological, spiritual, and logical underpinnings of his work as an organizer of community storytelling events … By asking the right questions and listening to the answers, he helps people feel their humanity and worth again when these have been stripped away …”
Ultimately this book is about the soul of storytelling and the recovery of that natural, accessible, medicinal power that waits within every person, within every community. Every life holds beauty. Every life encounters suffering. Every life is a struggle to claim dignity and worth. And each of us has lived a story worth telling.
September 25, 2023
"They are all full of longing, but they don't know what they're longing for. They don't even know they're longing." He could have been describing most of us in the West. Overwhelmed, estranged from our lives, out of touch with our inner vitality, we often find ourselves entranced by activities we know are empty and damaging. We are longing but don't know why. We are yearning for a life we once knew, but we can't seem to remember where we left it.
Every human being longs for a good question and a listening ear. Where did you like to hide as a child? When was a time you felt deeply betrayed? Where was the place that most felt like home? Who was the love that got away? How did you find yourself in this town? When was the last time you felt truly alive?
"Tell me a story about Eric." "Did you and Eric ever get into trouble?" "What was he like when he had a crush on a girl?" "What did he do that annoyed you?" "Tell me a memory of Eric that makes you laugh."
The writer Isak Dinesen once said, "All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them." That evening as we told stories that made us laugh, cry, or go silent in wonder, the grief and heartache found release. Over time, the stories we crafted that evening, the stories that my father retold at the funeral, became meeting places where Eric could be encountered- his life felt, his gifts received, his friendship still present.
I left that day of life stories feeling wholly disoriented. If this group of plain-faced people was full of such pain and courage, what lived within the lives of my neighbors, my coworkers, the people I passed on the street? Suddenly I was filled with a new sense of curiosity, less judgment, and more empathy for those around me as well as for myself.
“Did you know” scale in 2001
A sacred story is a treasure box filled images of what matters most. A sacred story is a map, passed down through generations, directing you toward ......
Every human being longs for a good question and a listening ear. Where did you like to hide as a child? When was a time you felt deeply betrayed? Where was the place that most felt like home? Who was the love that got away? How did you find yourself in this town? When was the last time you felt truly alive?
"Tell me a story about Eric." "Did you and Eric ever get into trouble?" "What was he like when he had a crush on a girl?" "What did he do that annoyed you?" "Tell me a memory of Eric that makes you laugh."
The writer Isak Dinesen once said, "All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them." That evening as we told stories that made us laugh, cry, or go silent in wonder, the grief and heartache found release. Over time, the stories we crafted that evening, the stories that my father retold at the funeral, became meeting places where Eric could be encountered- his life felt, his gifts received, his friendship still present.
I left that day of life stories feeling wholly disoriented. If this group of plain-faced people was full of such pain and courage, what lived within the lives of my neighbors, my coworkers, the people I passed on the street? Suddenly I was filled with a new sense of curiosity, less judgment, and more empathy for those around me as well as for myself.
“Did you know” scale in 2001
A sacred story is a treasure box filled images of what matters most. A sacred story is a map, passed down through generations, directing you toward ......
February 25, 2024
This book would have made a lovely essay. It wouldn’t have contained anything revolutionary, but it would have made you feel good about asking people to share their stories. As a book… oof.
The jacket claims that we’ll learn how stories “can be medicine” and “transform entire communities.” On an individual basis Mark shows how telling stories can help us make friends and understand ourselves better. Again, not anything revolutionary, but OK. But we don’t see ANY communities transformed.
Mark tells a story about a local shooting and how the community rallied together and supported each other. During that time, he gathered people’s stories and offended the families of the survivors by not asking for THEIR stories. But we never see how his work did any good—just that it happened at the same time that the community was doing good in other ways.
He tells about an event where illegal immigrants shared their stories, and the event got some publicity. But we don’t see any community members changing their minds on anything or new political action being taken. The big thrill is that NPR covered the stories. OK… and then what?
In the tenth chapter, we do hear about how he helped climate change scientists tell better fundraising stories. That’s about as close as we get.
Oh, and if you put on a funeral, it’s good to have stories about what made the dead person special.
Like others have said, actual advice on how to tell stories or draw them out of others is scarce in this book. I think Mark wrote it to advertise his storytelling nonprofit, but it’s probably the worst advertisement he could have written.
Anne Lamott liked it, though.
The jacket claims that we’ll learn how stories “can be medicine” and “transform entire communities.” On an individual basis Mark shows how telling stories can help us make friends and understand ourselves better. Again, not anything revolutionary, but OK. But we don’t see ANY communities transformed.
Mark tells a story about a local shooting and how the community rallied together and supported each other. During that time, he gathered people’s stories and offended the families of the survivors by not asking for THEIR stories. But we never see how his work did any good—just that it happened at the same time that the community was doing good in other ways.
He tells about an event where illegal immigrants shared their stories, and the event got some publicity. But we don’t see any community members changing their minds on anything or new political action being taken. The big thrill is that NPR covered the stories. OK… and then what?
In the tenth chapter, we do hear about how he helped climate change scientists tell better fundraising stories. That’s about as close as we get.
Oh, and if you put on a funeral, it’s good to have stories about what made the dead person special.
Like others have said, actual advice on how to tell stories or draw them out of others is scarce in this book. I think Mark wrote it to advertise his storytelling nonprofit, but it’s probably the worst advertisement he could have written.
Anne Lamott liked it, though.
July 29, 2025
This is a really difficult book to review. I just... feel like I wasn't the right audience for it even though I am exactly the right audience. I am, by nature and training, a storyteller. I am a historian. I love stories. Maybe it's because of some circumstances in my own life/career, but this book reminded me a lot of how things could be or should be more than how they are.
I was also struck by how many of the stories here have a quite loaded moralism. It seemed like the author cherry picked the stories to create a specific narrative that smacked of being more agenda driven than authentic. Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I do think there was a time in my life that I would have resonated with a lot of the political and moral causes celebrated here. I just... didn't feel the resonance with them in this book.
I think Yaconelli is a good storyteller. The book is fine, but maybe it just wasn't what I thought it would be. I'm not sure if that book exists. I hate reviewing books negatively, but I just... thought this book was "ok." Some of my respected friends raved about the book so maybe that set my expectations too high.
Anyways, if you are skeptical about the value of stories, maybe this would convince you. Since I'm already a convert, I found it to be a bit of "stating the obvious." *shrug*
I was also struck by how many of the stories here have a quite loaded moralism. It seemed like the author cherry picked the stories to create a specific narrative that smacked of being more agenda driven than authentic. Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I do think there was a time in my life that I would have resonated with a lot of the political and moral causes celebrated here. I just... didn't feel the resonance with them in this book.
I think Yaconelli is a good storyteller. The book is fine, but maybe it just wasn't what I thought it would be. I'm not sure if that book exists. I hate reviewing books negatively, but I just... thought this book was "ok." Some of my respected friends raved about the book so maybe that set my expectations too high.
Anyways, if you are skeptical about the value of stories, maybe this would convince you. Since I'm already a convert, I found it to be a bit of "stating the obvious." *shrug*
October 1, 2024
I really liked this book; however, it was a little much for me. A lot of his words and teachings are from Brene Brown— which he never mentions. It comes across that he is the inventor of these ideas - story telling, vulnerability and authenticity. He says a lot of really profound and inspiring things, but I wonder how many are his (he is always referencing other people, other books). I would have loved to hear more of his original thoughts, ideas, and story.
He preaches humility and simplicity but simultaneously comes across as arrogant. A lot of his story telling and ideas are from other people and stories. There just wasn’t a lot of brand new information. Frankly, I’m exhausted of the Parodical Son. If we keep hearing the same stories over and over, they lose their magic and their value.
The Ann Lamott (who I love) intro was really disappointing. Why the forward glorifying the writer? It’s almost like he needs fame, recognition, and reverence from others?
I think we each have a unique gift and opportunity to share new and valuable information. Our unique story and words can provide inspiration and support to others. There is not one way, one formula to live, and I think it’s necessary that we are truthful in what we say and what we preach.
He preaches humility and simplicity but simultaneously comes across as arrogant. A lot of his story telling and ideas are from other people and stories. There just wasn’t a lot of brand new information. Frankly, I’m exhausted of the Parodical Son. If we keep hearing the same stories over and over, they lose their magic and their value.
The Ann Lamott (who I love) intro was really disappointing. Why the forward glorifying the writer? It’s almost like he needs fame, recognition, and reverence from others?
I think we each have a unique gift and opportunity to share new and valuable information. Our unique story and words can provide inspiration and support to others. There is not one way, one formula to live, and I think it’s necessary that we are truthful in what we say and what we preach.
September 29, 2025
Free from SelectBooks | Mixed feelings, but overall disappointed | I'm a proponent of storytelling, I think it can be particularly important for kids who have experienced trauma, and I think you can't really know someone until you've really heard the story they're telling you about themselves. But this book nudged me away from its own thesis. I didn't think he was a very good storyteller, for one thing, which is fundamental to the point. I'm willing to believe he's better in oral storytelling, but here I found his personal stories stilted and dull, even if the content ought to have been fascinating. I also couldn't help but think about just how many people I've known who grew up (or are still doing so) in a world that is crammed full of media 24/7. They only interact with the world via drama. Reality shows, films, streaming services, tv shows, manufactured drama on YouTube, TikTok, SnapChat, blogs and vlogs and Twitter feuds. And they dramatize themselves to an unhealthy degree as a result. Not everything has a narrative arc, and not everything fits into a story structure, and emphasis on carving a tale out of the events of one's life is not exclusively a positive or a helpful thing.
August 9, 2023
4.5-- Between the Listening and the Telling is about the importance of stories, how stories can connect us to others, teach us empathy, move us towards action, and drive the public media and political driven stories of violence and despair out of our heads. Stories change the way we view the world. I got this book from a friend, and carried it around for a few months before I cracked it open--- because I have spent a lot of time believing in stories--specifically as ways of healing ourselves. As a believer in Narrative Therapy, I know the value of telling and retelling and reshaping stories. Yet I wasn't ready to read it. I was too busy---obsessed with other things. Then today I read it--- all the way through---and it inspired me--- I need to tell my story. I need to feel heard--- and I need to get better at listening to the stories of others, so that they are also heard. If enough people do this, we can create a better world. It sounds simple, but it is true. Maybe I need to stop putting this off. We will see. Meanwhile, I need to return this book, but I also need to remember it--I might need to use this later.
November 8, 2022
Over the past 10 years I have helped my father write his memoirs (he passed away in 2107 at age 97) and just last year wrote a biography of my mom, who died in 2005, and I spent 25 years working as a librarian in elementary schools, so I know something about storytelling. What sets this book apart is the focus on listening. The gift of attention is priceless, children should be hearing family stories from an early age, and they also deserve to be heard.
The author's childhood was not one in which he felt listened too--far from it. So he has devoted his life to facilitating and teaching listening to all sorts of people: teachers, marginalized individuals, people who are grieving and those who have endured trauma and despair. The power of storytelling comes up again and again, with examples of how the storytellers and the listeners benefit; in fact, in the end we all do because this practice will improve communities
My copy of this book is marked up throughout because there are so many pearls of wisdom and well-thought-out advice. I expect to return to it again and again.
The author's childhood was not one in which he felt listened too--far from it. So he has devoted his life to facilitating and teaching listening to all sorts of people: teachers, marginalized individuals, people who are grieving and those who have endured trauma and despair. The power of storytelling comes up again and again, with examples of how the storytellers and the listeners benefit; in fact, in the end we all do because this practice will improve communities
My copy of this book is marked up throughout because there are so many pearls of wisdom and well-thought-out advice. I expect to return to it again and again.
November 10, 2022
Mark Yaconelli's writing is beautiful. He is a storyteller and his art is on full display in this nonfiction work. It isn't often that I say that I couldn't put down a work of nonfiction no matter how much I am enjoying or learning from the book. But I can say it with this book...except for a couple of passages that really reached deep into my soul and triggered something within me. When I came to chapters 5 and 6, there were moments that I had to put it down. Then I would ruminate on what he said, think of nothing else, and pick it up to continue.
I love stories and storytelling. That is why this book caught my attention in a newsletter from my favorite bookseller. I had no idea that what he was talking about in relation to storytelling and listening would be like a therapy session! I can't recommend this book enough.
I love stories and storytelling. That is why this book caught my attention in a newsletter from my favorite bookseller. I had no idea that what he was talking about in relation to storytelling and listening would be like a therapy session! I can't recommend this book enough.
May 1, 2024
I completed the book last night, and I'm eager to share with you (without spoiling too much) my high-level overview. "Between the Listening and the Telling: How Stories can Save Us" delves into the intricate dynamics between silence and expression, listening and telling, highlighting how these elements shape human connection, foster self-discovery, and facilitate meaningful communication. I absolutely loved this book! It speaks to the humanity in all of us. From the first page to the end, I was deeply connected and drawn into the book. It emphasizes that, through everything, listening and telling stories create a supportive environment for healing, growth, and transformation. One can find solace, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose. This book was recommended to me (by someone I look up to), and I, in turn, highly, highly recommend it to everyone to read!
September 12, 2024
Some books change my outlook, my worldview, and perhaps even my life. This one is high on that list. It's about stories -- the author's heartfelt stories and others' that dig deep into pain and truth and healing.
In the age of the internet and Netflix, many of us are drowning in stories, but the wrong type that leave us feeling cluttered and cynical and fearful. We need to tell our own true stories. We need to be heard. And we need to listen to others'.
This book spoke to me. I read a lot of history, often about horrific events, and I will continue to. But perhaps a bit more slowly, and take mental health breaks with more tales of everyday challenge and uplift, which are just as true.
Thank you, Karen, for finding this book in your Little Library!
Highly recommended!
In the age of the internet and Netflix, many of us are drowning in stories, but the wrong type that leave us feeling cluttered and cynical and fearful. We need to tell our own true stories. We need to be heard. And we need to listen to others'.
This book spoke to me. I read a lot of history, often about horrific events, and I will continue to. But perhaps a bit more slowly, and take mental health breaks with more tales of everyday challenge and uplift, which are just as true.
Thank you, Karen, for finding this book in your Little Library!
Highly recommended!
September 27, 2025
[3.5/5] My brother recommended this book to me after having read it in a writing seminar. I am a firm believer in the power of a story and the way it can allow us to shift perspectives. I didn’t love the book because it felt like I was reading about Yaconelli’s experiences with storytelling as opposed to understanding how to create these storytelling environments. I did get ideas about how to facilitate these conversations but would have appreciated more practical examples. There’s lots to consider as we maintain and create new relationships.a good reminder overall to pay attention to the people in our worlds.
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