What do you think?
Rate this book
When I Was a German, 1934-1945 #1-2
The Past is Myself & The Road Ahead Omnibus: When I Was a German, 1934-1945: omnibus edition of two bestselling wartime memoirs that depict life in Nazi Germany with alarming honesty
Brought together for the first time in one edition, both of Christabel Bielenberg's bestselling memoirs give an incredibly moving, emotionally charged and compelling insight into life in Nazi Germany during The Third Reich and during the aftermath of World War Two. Offering a new perspective, this is a must-read for anyone interested in the wartime era.'This is one of the best WWII books I have ever read' -- ***** Reader review'An excellent book and a must-read for anyone interested in this era' -- ***** Reader review'Absorbing' -- ***** Reader review'Intensely moving' -- ***** Reader review'A wonderful book. I couldn't put it down' -- ***** Reader review***********************************************************************************************The Past is MyselfChristabel Bielenberg, a niece of newspaper magnate Lord Northcliffe, married a German lawyer in 1934. She lived through the war in Germany, as a German citizen under the horrors of Nazi rule and Allied bombings. The Past is Myself is her story of that experience - and an unforgettable portrait of an evil time.The Road AheadFollowing the extraordinary success of her wartime memoir, The Past is Myself, Christabel Bielenberg received thousands of letters from readers begging her to describe what happened next. In The Road Ahead she continues her story with the outbreak of peace - a time of struggle for reconciliation with, and the rebuilding of, a defeated nation. She also tells of life in her newly adopted country, Ireland, her involvement with the Peace Women of Northern Ireland, and with characteristic modesty and gratitude, looks back on a rich, full life.Anyone interested in the Second World War and life in the 1930s and 1940s will devour these unflinchingly honest and enthralling memoirs, published together in one edition for the first time.
528 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2000
61 people are currently reading
157 people want to read
About the author
Christabel Bielenberg
11 books13 followersChristabel Bielenberg (18 June 1909 – 2 November 2003) was a British writer who was married to a German lawyer, Peter Bielenberg. She described her experiences living in Germany during the Second World War in two books: The Past is Myself (1968) and The Road Ahead. She was educated at St Margaret's School, Bushey, Hertfordshire.
Christabel Mary Burton was born in Hertfordshire to Anglo-Irish parents. Her mother, also named Christabel (née Harmsworth), was the sister of Lords Northcliffe, Harmsworth and Rothermere. Christabel Mary won a scholarship to Oxford but decided to study music in Germany. While there she met Peter Bielenberg (1911–2001), two years her junior, who was studying law with a view of joining his father's practice in Hamburg.
They married in 1934 and she took German citizenship, which required her to relinquish her British citizenship. The Bielenbergs lived initially in Hamburg, then moved to Berlin and had three sons, Nicholas, Christopher and John. The heavy Allied bombing raids led Mrs Bielenberg and her children to leave the city, and they eventually settled in the village of Rohrbach, near Furtwangen im Schwarzwald, in the Black Forest.
Both Christabel and Peter Bielenberg were opposed to Nazism and following Hitler's rise to power in 1933, participated in anti-Nazi activity. Peter Bielenberg was a close friend of Adam von Trott zu Solz, who was involved in the von Stauffenberg bomb plot against Adolf Hitler of 1944, and as a result of his suspect political views and this close association was arrested, interrogated and imprisoned in Ravensbrück concentration camp following its failure. In an effort to secure his release, Christabel Bielenberg asked to be interviewed by the Gestapo in order to convince them of her and her husband's political naivety and innocence. She was successful and he was released to a punishment unit but mistakenly allowed leave before joining it. He managed to slip away and remained in hiding near his family until the fighting ended.
After the war, she returned to the UK with her children, visiting Germany as a war correspondent. In 1948, the family settled in Tullow, County Carlow, Ireland, buying a dilapidated farm called "Munny House", which they transformed into a commercial success. As well as writing her autobiography she became involved with the Irish Peace Marches of the 1970s and lectured in Germany. She was made a Commander of the German Federal Order of Merit and was also awarded a Gold Medal of Merit by the European Parliament.
(from Wikipedia)
Christabel Mary Burton was born in Hertfordshire to Anglo-Irish parents. Her mother, also named Christabel (née Harmsworth), was the sister of Lords Northcliffe, Harmsworth and Rothermere. Christabel Mary won a scholarship to Oxford but decided to study music in Germany. While there she met Peter Bielenberg (1911–2001), two years her junior, who was studying law with a view of joining his father's practice in Hamburg.
They married in 1934 and she took German citizenship, which required her to relinquish her British citizenship. The Bielenbergs lived initially in Hamburg, then moved to Berlin and had three sons, Nicholas, Christopher and John. The heavy Allied bombing raids led Mrs Bielenberg and her children to leave the city, and they eventually settled in the village of Rohrbach, near Furtwangen im Schwarzwald, in the Black Forest.
Both Christabel and Peter Bielenberg were opposed to Nazism and following Hitler's rise to power in 1933, participated in anti-Nazi activity. Peter Bielenberg was a close friend of Adam von Trott zu Solz, who was involved in the von Stauffenberg bomb plot against Adolf Hitler of 1944, and as a result of his suspect political views and this close association was arrested, interrogated and imprisoned in Ravensbrück concentration camp following its failure. In an effort to secure his release, Christabel Bielenberg asked to be interviewed by the Gestapo in order to convince them of her and her husband's political naivety and innocence. She was successful and he was released to a punishment unit but mistakenly allowed leave before joining it. He managed to slip away and remained in hiding near his family until the fighting ended.
After the war, she returned to the UK with her children, visiting Germany as a war correspondent. In 1948, the family settled in Tullow, County Carlow, Ireland, buying a dilapidated farm called "Munny House", which they transformed into a commercial success. As well as writing her autobiography she became involved with the Irish Peace Marches of the 1970s and lectured in Germany. She was made a Commander of the German Federal Order of Merit and was also awarded a Gold Medal of Merit by the European Parliament.
(from Wikipedia)
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 28, 2016
Christabel Bielenberg was a niece to the notorious Daily Mail owner Lord Northcliffe, a confidant of arch appeaser David Astor and had a very privileged upbringing but was an astonishingly remarkable woman despite this unpromising background.
This twin volumed memoir tells of her life in Nazi Germany from 1934 to 1945 and continues with her post war struggles before she and her family finally settle in Ireland. She shines through the pages as being totally decent, brave, a fabulous mother and husband and totally reliable. She was a highly intelligent woman and spoke several languages fluently and tackled challenges to which most of us would give a wide berth. When her husband was imprisoned (unjustly) in the aftermath of the July plot against Hitler in 1944, she presents herself at Gestapo HQ to plead for his release in such an aggressive way that she's successful.
The two books are beautifully written and her characterisation such that it's very easy to visualise the frightened German people waiting in terror as the war reaches its climax whether in the author's Black Forest retreat or the ruins of Berlin. The post-war chaos of defeated Germany is superbly portrayed and Bielenberg's determination to help her husband and family to a better life leaps out of every page.
The Past is Myself was adapted for BBC television by Dennis Potter. I must hunt it down.
David Lowther. Author of The Blue Pencil, Liberating Belsen and Two Families at War, all published by Sacristy Press
This twin volumed memoir tells of her life in Nazi Germany from 1934 to 1945 and continues with her post war struggles before she and her family finally settle in Ireland. She shines through the pages as being totally decent, brave, a fabulous mother and husband and totally reliable. She was a highly intelligent woman and spoke several languages fluently and tackled challenges to which most of us would give a wide berth. When her husband was imprisoned (unjustly) in the aftermath of the July plot against Hitler in 1944, she presents herself at Gestapo HQ to plead for his release in such an aggressive way that she's successful.
The two books are beautifully written and her characterisation such that it's very easy to visualise the frightened German people waiting in terror as the war reaches its climax whether in the author's Black Forest retreat or the ruins of Berlin. The post-war chaos of defeated Germany is superbly portrayed and Bielenberg's determination to help her husband and family to a better life leaps out of every page.
The Past is Myself was adapted for BBC television by Dennis Potter. I must hunt it down.
David Lowther. Author of The Blue Pencil, Liberating Belsen and Two Families at War, all published by Sacristy Press
May 12, 2021
Superb memoir.
November 13, 2014
Really interesting insight into this time and place. Some part of general family history not so interesting for me.
February 21, 2025
Anyone interested in life in Nazi Germany will want to read both of these fascinating accounts. Involved in the July 20th conspiracy to assassinate Hitler, Bielenberg's husband Peter was arrested, spent time in the Ravensbruck concentration camp and was eventually freed partly due to the boldness of his wife who had her own interrogation by the Gestapo. But just as interesting are the details of everyday activities--shopping, gardening, school, etc.--as monitored by a police state. A must-read.
April 18, 2021
The Past Is Myself
Such was the opinion of many in Germany in the early 1930s, including Peter Bielenberg, the lawyer husband of Christabel, an English woman who took German citizenship following her marriage. The Past Is My Life" is based on diaries she kept while living in Germany during the rise of Hitler and the Nazis, through to the end of WW2.
In January 1933 Hitler was appointed Chancellor, with "only two other National Socialists with him in his Cabinet," there was a belief "that he was well hemmed-in" by the respectable, old-school elite politicians of the Weimar Republic. However, "the whole process of what was called 'co-ordination' was over and done with" within five months. Hitler became Germany's dictator.
How could the political situation change so fast? Bielenberg's memoir is not a historian's analysis, but shows how a shared feeling of being betrayed at the end of WW1 fed into the propaganda that was used to justify military aggression. Her viewpoint is privileged, not that of the working-class, yet it provides plenty of insight into living in the Third Reich as an opponent of the regime. What particularly comes across is how exhausting it was to be constantly on guard against making a thoughtless comment, and the need to be wary of every new acquaintance.
Peter Bielenberg's description of Hitler as a clown should sound a warning bell in 2019. One should be wary of buffoonery and deceit, neither of which are impediments to reaching the highest position of Government.
The Road Ahead.
The second part of Bielenberg's memoir begins with the defeat of Nazi Germany. It contains examples of how badly Germans were treated after the end of hostilities, regardless of their political affiliations. In occupied Frankfurt, Bielenberg believes her ability to speak German, French and English might make her useful as an interpreter. She's told she has no chance, not because she lacks ability, but because, " you were a poor fool to marry a bloody German". War is hell and it can bring out the worst in people, but there's no guarantee of a better future once it's over.
The writer's happy ending is achieved by distancing her family from the memories in a farm in the Republic of Ireland.
'You may think that Germans are political idiots [-] and you may be right, but of one thing I can assure you, they won't be so stupid as to fall for that clown.'
Such was the opinion of many in Germany in the early 1930s, including Peter Bielenberg, the lawyer husband of Christabel, an English woman who took German citizenship following her marriage. The Past Is My Life" is based on diaries she kept while living in Germany during the rise of Hitler and the Nazis, through to the end of WW2.
In January 1933 Hitler was appointed Chancellor, with "only two other National Socialists with him in his Cabinet," there was a belief "that he was well hemmed-in" by the respectable, old-school elite politicians of the Weimar Republic. However, "the whole process of what was called 'co-ordination' was over and done with" within five months. Hitler became Germany's dictator.
How could the political situation change so fast? Bielenberg's memoir is not a historian's analysis, but shows how a shared feeling of being betrayed at the end of WW1 fed into the propaganda that was used to justify military aggression. Her viewpoint is privileged, not that of the working-class, yet it provides plenty of insight into living in the Third Reich as an opponent of the regime. What particularly comes across is how exhausting it was to be constantly on guard against making a thoughtless comment, and the need to be wary of every new acquaintance.
Peter Bielenberg's description of Hitler as a clown should sound a warning bell in 2019. One should be wary of buffoonery and deceit, neither of which are impediments to reaching the highest position of Government.
The Road Ahead.
The second part of Bielenberg's memoir begins with the defeat of Nazi Germany. It contains examples of how badly Germans were treated after the end of hostilities, regardless of their political affiliations. In occupied Frankfurt, Bielenberg believes her ability to speak German, French and English might make her useful as an interpreter. She's told she has no chance, not because she lacks ability, but because, " you were a poor fool to marry a bloody German". War is hell and it can bring out the worst in people, but there's no guarantee of a better future once it's over.
The writer's happy ending is achieved by distancing her family from the memories in a farm in the Republic of Ireland.
April 19, 2015
I was surprised to learn Christabel came from a fairly privileged background and rubbed elbows with some important Germans. I had the idea she was just an everyday Berlin hausfrau but she seems to have managed to get away from Berlin quite a bit. Interesting, though.
Would have been nice to see photos of the period.
Would have been nice to see photos of the period.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews