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Ugly: My Memoir: The Australian bestseller
The unique and inspiring story of a boy born with the odds against him and the family whose love and support helped him overcome incredible hardships.Robert Hoge was born with a giant tumour on his forehead, severely distorted facial features and legs that were twisted and useless. His mother refused to look at her son, let alone bring him home. But home he went, to a life that, against the odds, was filled with joy, optimism and boyhood naughtiness.Home for the Hoges was a bayside suburb of Brisbane. Robert's parents, Mary and Vince, knew that his life would be difficult, but they were determined to give him a typical Australian childhood. So along with the regular, gruelling and often dangerous operations that made medical history and gradually improved Robert's life, there were bad haircuts, visits to the local pool, school camps and dreams of summer sports.Ugly is Robert's account of that life, from the time of his birth to the arrival of his own daughter. It is a story of how the love and support of his family helped him to overcome incredible hardships. It is also the story of an extraordinary person living an ordinary life, which is perhaps his greatest achievement of all.'There is much to be learned from this ugly man whose spirit is truly beautiful' - Saturday Age'This is an incredible life story that will no doubt attract much publicity and discussion about beauty, ugliness and how we value ourselves' - Australian Bookseller + Publisher'If Robert Hoge reckons he belongs to the Ugly Club, then "ugly" must mean humour and courage, love and decency' - William McInnes'[A] frank, wry and funny memoir...' - Sunday Age'This fabulous easy-to-read tale is a treasure for anyone who has ever given their looks a second thought. Ugly offers a bracing perspective on life, love and the real definition of beauty. - Good ReadingAuthor BiographyRobert Hoge has worked as a journalist, a speechwriter, a science communicator for the CSIRO and a political advisor to the former Queensland Premier and Deputy Premier. He has had numerous short stories, articles, interviews and other works published in Australia and overseas. He also enjoys photography, and is interested in disability advocacy and social engagement. While he never went far with his professional lawn bowls career, Robert did carry the Olympic torch in 2000. He is married and lives in Brisbane. He has an eleven-year-old daughter who thinks his Olympic torch would make a really great cricket bat.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 20, 2013
489 people are currently reading
5336 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 932 reviews
December 9, 2020
Due to a large facial tumor, Robert Hoge had severely distorted facial features. In addition, his legs were also malformed and nonfunctioning.
Our faces let us look out and know others and let them know us.
It was such a complete shock that his mother could barely look at him at birth and severely considered leaving him for adoption.
But, with the help of the family, she brought him home - determined to make his life as normal as possible.
At first, it worked...but then the other kids in his cohort got old enough to talk.
And my first response was to hide it all away, bury it.And yet, Hoge's solid family life was enough to bring him through.
So. I liked this one. And I really loved the message it sent to the audience.
Now, I know this is going to sound awful but I was really happy that the main character (Hoge) started and ended up ugly.
Now before you reel back in horror and your keyboards alight in fire with furious typing - hear me out.
How many books that focus on kids with disabilities end ONLY after the kid has been completely and utterly cured?
What kind of message is that?
That happiness is only found AFTER you miraculously cure yourself?
What about the thousands of kids worldwide that can't afford a miracle cure? What about when the miracle cure doesn't exist?
And how many kids have learn to come to peace and thrive despite everywhere they look, the media shows happiness only after they're "fixed"?
So, I think this book is incredibly important - not only for normalizing disabilities BUT ALSO not curing them for the sake of a heartwarming ending.
So all in all - this book rocked.
Audiobook
Narrated by the author, and he did a really good job of reading the book. Loved the tone and inflection.
YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads
March 23, 2022
4.5★
“When I was twelve I went on holiday to Sydney. One night I was alone in an elevator heading to dinner in our hotel. Two middle-aged ladies got in. One of them looked me up and down, then stared at my face long enough to make me look away.
‘Terrible how they let kids so young play football these days,’ she said to her friend. ‘Look at the damage it does.’
The other woman turned and stared at me too. ‘Yes, yes it is,’ she said.
I stayed silent until the elevator reached the ground floor.
I should have cringed or felt embarrassed or angry at those two women. I felt those things, at least in part. But I just wanted to laugh. Lady, if only you knew how much I wished I was this ugly because I was allowed to play football!”
Robert Hoge was born with such deformities that his mother, Mary, refused point-blank to see him and thought he should go into an institution as the doctors recommended. His father, Vince, wanted to bring him home but said it was up to Mary, since she’d do most of the work.
Rob Hoge, the baby
So Mary decided it was time to explain to the other 4 kids exactly what was wrong with their new little brother. Everybody cried, but they all said Robert should come home. However, they hadn’t seen him yet, just heard Mary’s and Vince’s descriptions of the horrific tumour in the middle of his face and the half-formed, shortened legs.
So off to hospital they went to see the new baby. Each child took a turn holding him, curious and interested, but they all seemed happy to accept him and wanted to take him home, so the decision was made. And they never looked back.
Rob Hoge, the boy
He has had corrective surgery, has 2 prosthetic legs, and is as bright and personable and public a fellow as any mother could have hoped for. Plenty of struggles growing up, pain, schoolyard taunts (regular schools), great mates, schoolboy pranks (lots), girlfriends, and a very loving, loyal family.
The first in his family to go to uni, he did his honours in English and Journalism but reckoned his real love was the newsroom. He jokes that he has a face for radio, but he loves writing and is quick and capable – perfect for journalism, where there’s little time to meet deadlines.
Rob Hoge, the man
He became a journalist and writer and has been a political speech writer, so reading his book is an easy pleasure. He’s included some photographs of some special times at various ages, and he seems to have been a joyous, happy boy. He’s also got a photo of his beautiful little girl. His condition appears not to have been genetic, but probably due to the anti-depressants given to Mary before she knew she was pregnant.
I’ve seen him interviewed several times on television, and after a while, I seem to just accept his looks and don’t really think about it. I cannot imagine being one of those so-called ladies in the elevator. Un-bloody-believable!
I hope he has a long career in it and we hear more of him and those ‘ladies’ figure out who they are and are suitably mortified.
Here's his Facebook page, which seems to be out of date. https://www.facebook.com/robert.hoge....
But he's on Twitter! https://twitter.com/roberthoge?lang=en
“When I was twelve I went on holiday to Sydney. One night I was alone in an elevator heading to dinner in our hotel. Two middle-aged ladies got in. One of them looked me up and down, then stared at my face long enough to make me look away.
‘Terrible how they let kids so young play football these days,’ she said to her friend. ‘Look at the damage it does.’
The other woman turned and stared at me too. ‘Yes, yes it is,’ she said.
I stayed silent until the elevator reached the ground floor.
I should have cringed or felt embarrassed or angry at those two women. I felt those things, at least in part. But I just wanted to laugh. Lady, if only you knew how much I wished I was this ugly because I was allowed to play football!”
Robert Hoge was born with such deformities that his mother, Mary, refused point-blank to see him and thought he should go into an institution as the doctors recommended. His father, Vince, wanted to bring him home but said it was up to Mary, since she’d do most of the work.
Rob Hoge, the baby
So Mary decided it was time to explain to the other 4 kids exactly what was wrong with their new little brother. Everybody cried, but they all said Robert should come home. However, they hadn’t seen him yet, just heard Mary’s and Vince’s descriptions of the horrific tumour in the middle of his face and the half-formed, shortened legs.
So off to hospital they went to see the new baby. Each child took a turn holding him, curious and interested, but they all seemed happy to accept him and wanted to take him home, so the decision was made. And they never looked back.
Rob Hoge, the boy
He has had corrective surgery, has 2 prosthetic legs, and is as bright and personable and public a fellow as any mother could have hoped for. Plenty of struggles growing up, pain, schoolyard taunts (regular schools), great mates, schoolboy pranks (lots), girlfriends, and a very loving, loyal family.
The first in his family to go to uni, he did his honours in English and Journalism but reckoned his real love was the newsroom. He jokes that he has a face for radio, but he loves writing and is quick and capable – perfect for journalism, where there’s little time to meet deadlines.
Rob Hoge, the man
He became a journalist and writer and has been a political speech writer, so reading his book is an easy pleasure. He’s included some photographs of some special times at various ages, and he seems to have been a joyous, happy boy. He’s also got a photo of his beautiful little girl. His condition appears not to have been genetic, but probably due to the anti-depressants given to Mary before she knew she was pregnant.
I’ve seen him interviewed several times on television, and after a while, I seem to just accept his looks and don’t really think about it. I cannot imagine being one of those so-called ladies in the elevator. Un-bloody-believable!
I hope he has a long career in it and we hear more of him and those ‘ladies’ figure out who they are and are suitably mortified.
Here's his Facebook page, which seems to be out of date. https://www.facebook.com/robert.hoge....
But he's on Twitter! https://twitter.com/roberthoge?lang=en
June 20, 2018
Each one had something different about them.
I just had different differences.
Memoir is the writing of one’s life, this would be so hard to do considering your book is called Ugly and is what you are calling yourself. I take my hat off to this author for writing his story.
Robert Hoge is 4 years older than I am, but that’s where the similarities end. He’s endured hardship to an extent that I cannot fathom, and holds his head higher than I ever could. Yes he’s inspiring, yes he’s resilient, yes he’s a trooper. He’s a normal Aussie bloke that tells his story to a younger audience, he is someone that uses his adversity to carry a message.
Robert was born with a huge tumour covering his face, he required numerous surgeries to construct a face he likens to a clay sculpture gone wrong..
Squashed by a giant clay splodge spread across the face. It has pushed so far into the front of the face that the beautiful eyes you made are now way further apart than they should be. The extra time you put into getting the size and shape of the head just right is totally wasted too. It’s bumpy and broken. Imagine what that sculpture looks like now and you’ll know what I looked like when I was born.
Robert is a straight shooter, and states his story plainly, in an easy to understand manner. This edition in perfect for the younger reader. I read it after my 11 year old son.
Young people want to talk about appearance and being different. It’s a central theme of their lives. Ever since the adult edition of Ugly came out I’ve had hundreds of conversations with kids about looking different and being disabled.
Do you think he'd give up on surgery at some stage, for the constant desire to improve his appearance in the hope of aspiring to the elusive 'normal'? You'll have to read Robert's memoir and find out. His brother Michael makes my favourite statement of the book about this exact issue. I recommend that you do.
I just had different differences.
Memoir is the writing of one’s life, this would be so hard to do considering your book is called Ugly and is what you are calling yourself. I take my hat off to this author for writing his story.
Robert Hoge is 4 years older than I am, but that’s where the similarities end. He’s endured hardship to an extent that I cannot fathom, and holds his head higher than I ever could. Yes he’s inspiring, yes he’s resilient, yes he’s a trooper. He’s a normal Aussie bloke that tells his story to a younger audience, he is someone that uses his adversity to carry a message.
Robert was born with a huge tumour covering his face, he required numerous surgeries to construct a face he likens to a clay sculpture gone wrong..
Squashed by a giant clay splodge spread across the face. It has pushed so far into the front of the face that the beautiful eyes you made are now way further apart than they should be. The extra time you put into getting the size and shape of the head just right is totally wasted too. It’s bumpy and broken. Imagine what that sculpture looks like now and you’ll know what I looked like when I was born.
Robert is a straight shooter, and states his story plainly, in an easy to understand manner. This edition in perfect for the younger reader. I read it after my 11 year old son.
Young people want to talk about appearance and being different. It’s a central theme of their lives. Ever since the adult edition of Ugly came out I’ve had hundreds of conversations with kids about looking different and being disabled.
Do you think he'd give up on surgery at some stage, for the constant desire to improve his appearance in the hope of aspiring to the elusive 'normal'? You'll have to read Robert's memoir and find out. His brother Michael makes my favourite statement of the book about this exact issue. I recommend that you do.
May 9, 2019
** spoiler alert ** Book Review:
Title: Ugly
Author: Robert Hoge
Date Read: September 28th - October 4th, 2016
Date Reviewed: October 6th, 2016
Introduction: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. When I read the synopsis of this novel I was incredibly intrigued. A memoir of the life of a child that went through surgeries due to birth defects seemed realistic and interesting. Most school aged children (and even adults) feel like they don't fit in, so reading a story about a life long battle with trying to fit in and how Robert Hoge managed to keep going made my heart warm.
Spoilers Ahead?: Yes.
Quick Summary: Robert Hoge was born with a few issues - he had a tumor on his face and his legs did not form correctly. As a small child, he went through surgeries to remove parts of his legs (to the knee and above the knee), remove the tumor on his face and realign his facial features to appear more 'normal'. Throughout his life Robert had to learn how to adapt - like walking with mechanical legs, deal with bullying, and making life decisions regarding future surgeries. This story is uplifting and inspiring to read, and this version of the story is written as a kid friendly story.
Evaluations: I loved this book - it was inspiring, beautifully written and aimed at the right audience. This easy read was made so children would be not only interested but able to understand. Robert Hoge uses metaphors and similes to explain how it feels to be different, which I think will help the audience grasp a better understanding. Overall, I'm impressed. I would definitely suggest that anyone read this novel, and if possible that school's should adapt the book into their reading curriculum. If more people understand, perhaps there would be less bullying and hate in this world.
Plot: The content of this story revolves around Robert Hoge's life and his struggles. It starts from when he was born, to when he was in his pre-teens. If anything, I would have liked to see what his struggles look like now, but I don't know if that would have worked with the audience he was writing to. Children want to hear about lives similar to theirs, so perhaps it was for the best.
The plot moves quick enough to keep the reader interested. I was more than impressed with how the story was adapted - a child could easily read this book and understand, but as an adult I also enjoyed the novel. It's hard to find stories that translate well for both kids and adult. I applaud Robert on how well he wrote this story.
I haven't been able to find any problems with the story itself. It's a great narrative with lots of substance - not only is there a story to be told, but Robert explains how he feels, and how the reader might feel. His metaphors work well with the audience - making a clay head that's perfect, but suddenly there's a giant piece of clay in the middle - and he continues to reference them throughout the novel for further understanding.
Overall, the context of the words in this book are excellent. The author tells a great story, and the fact that it was a true story, a memoir, that makes it even better.
Characters: The "characters" of the story are mainly Robert and his family, with a splash of friends, schoolmates, doctors and teachers. All the characters are realistic in the setting (and of course they are all real life people as well). You can't tell if they were portrayed the way they actually were, but everyone seems to be acting realistically. No character seems out of place or unrealistic within the context of the story.
Robert's character (of himself) also acts realistically for his age. I've found in some memoirs that when the author writes about themselves that the child version of themselves acts like an adult. Child Robert acts like a child, which is refreshing. Little Robert isn't having intense emotions similar to an adults, he is acting and thinking like a child throughout the novel. A+ for characterization!
Themes/Creativity/Uniqueness: If this novel would have been Young Adult or aimed at the Adult audience (which Robert Hoge has an "Adult" version of this novel that you can also check out) there probably could have been more themes implemented. This book doesn't deal with some of the emotional pain and bullying that most likely happened. The pain isn't discussed as much as it probably happened, either. But, this book wasn't aimed at an audience that needs to feel that pain just yet. For the audience it's made for, it does it's job. It explains how he was bullied and puts a light spin on the names he was called.
The main theme of this story seemed like "Be yourself" or "Nobody is perfect". Robert could have gotten more surgeries to look more "normal" but he didn't want to. Why would he want to go through more pain, time out for surgery, and the possibility for further injury just to look "normal". Everyone has their differences, and Robert constantly highlights this throughout the book. Nobody is truly normal - there are individuals with physical, mental, physiological and psychological changes out there. There are no two people alike - even twins are different with their personalities and interests. If people weren't quick to judge and accepted differences, perhaps this world would be a better place.
Overall, the themes and creativity within this book were tremendous. Yes, I would have liked Robert to expand on many topics, but this book wouldn't have adapted well for children if he did.
Strengths: Robert's ability to write to a younger audience but have an adult audience enjoy the book as well is perhaps the greatest strength. He rivals JK Rowling with that ability, and he deserves the recognition. He also deserves a lot of credit for being able to write a story about being different and have it so warm-hearted. He put such a wonderful spin on something that could have been very terrible for him. I appreciate his work, and he deserves lots and lots of press for this book.
Weaknesses: His weaknesses within this book are mainly the themes and context that readers wanted - but readers need to be aware that this specific version of the story was adapted for children. Yes, I would have liked to see more of the struggle of his story and understand what he went through (the bullying, the pain, the thought process), but children don't always understand those aspects of an adult's story. Adults understand adults, children do not understand adults.
Score: 5 out of 5.
Robert Hoge's book is inspiring and uplifting. This inspirational read is truly a gem and I would love for more people to read this book. It addresses many topics that schools are trying to plant within their curriculums - embracing differences, dealing with bullying, and adapting to change. This book was incredible, and I can not give it enough stars or great reviews
Title: Ugly
Author: Robert Hoge
Date Read: September 28th - October 4th, 2016
Date Reviewed: October 6th, 2016
Introduction: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. When I read the synopsis of this novel I was incredibly intrigued. A memoir of the life of a child that went through surgeries due to birth defects seemed realistic and interesting. Most school aged children (and even adults) feel like they don't fit in, so reading a story about a life long battle with trying to fit in and how Robert Hoge managed to keep going made my heart warm.
Spoilers Ahead?: Yes.
Quick Summary: Robert Hoge was born with a few issues - he had a tumor on his face and his legs did not form correctly. As a small child, he went through surgeries to remove parts of his legs (to the knee and above the knee), remove the tumor on his face and realign his facial features to appear more 'normal'. Throughout his life Robert had to learn how to adapt - like walking with mechanical legs, deal with bullying, and making life decisions regarding future surgeries. This story is uplifting and inspiring to read, and this version of the story is written as a kid friendly story.
Evaluations: I loved this book - it was inspiring, beautifully written and aimed at the right audience. This easy read was made so children would be not only interested but able to understand. Robert Hoge uses metaphors and similes to explain how it feels to be different, which I think will help the audience grasp a better understanding. Overall, I'm impressed. I would definitely suggest that anyone read this novel, and if possible that school's should adapt the book into their reading curriculum. If more people understand, perhaps there would be less bullying and hate in this world.
Plot: The content of this story revolves around Robert Hoge's life and his struggles. It starts from when he was born, to when he was in his pre-teens. If anything, I would have liked to see what his struggles look like now, but I don't know if that would have worked with the audience he was writing to. Children want to hear about lives similar to theirs, so perhaps it was for the best.
The plot moves quick enough to keep the reader interested. I was more than impressed with how the story was adapted - a child could easily read this book and understand, but as an adult I also enjoyed the novel. It's hard to find stories that translate well for both kids and adult. I applaud Robert on how well he wrote this story.
I haven't been able to find any problems with the story itself. It's a great narrative with lots of substance - not only is there a story to be told, but Robert explains how he feels, and how the reader might feel. His metaphors work well with the audience - making a clay head that's perfect, but suddenly there's a giant piece of clay in the middle - and he continues to reference them throughout the novel for further understanding.
Overall, the context of the words in this book are excellent. The author tells a great story, and the fact that it was a true story, a memoir, that makes it even better.
Characters: The "characters" of the story are mainly Robert and his family, with a splash of friends, schoolmates, doctors and teachers. All the characters are realistic in the setting (and of course they are all real life people as well). You can't tell if they were portrayed the way they actually were, but everyone seems to be acting realistically. No character seems out of place or unrealistic within the context of the story.
Robert's character (of himself) also acts realistically for his age. I've found in some memoirs that when the author writes about themselves that the child version of themselves acts like an adult. Child Robert acts like a child, which is refreshing. Little Robert isn't having intense emotions similar to an adults, he is acting and thinking like a child throughout the novel. A+ for characterization!
Themes/Creativity/Uniqueness: If this novel would have been Young Adult or aimed at the Adult audience (which Robert Hoge has an "Adult" version of this novel that you can also check out) there probably could have been more themes implemented. This book doesn't deal with some of the emotional pain and bullying that most likely happened. The pain isn't discussed as much as it probably happened, either. But, this book wasn't aimed at an audience that needs to feel that pain just yet. For the audience it's made for, it does it's job. It explains how he was bullied and puts a light spin on the names he was called.
The main theme of this story seemed like "Be yourself" or "Nobody is perfect". Robert could have gotten more surgeries to look more "normal" but he didn't want to. Why would he want to go through more pain, time out for surgery, and the possibility for further injury just to look "normal". Everyone has their differences, and Robert constantly highlights this throughout the book. Nobody is truly normal - there are individuals with physical, mental, physiological and psychological changes out there. There are no two people alike - even twins are different with their personalities and interests. If people weren't quick to judge and accepted differences, perhaps this world would be a better place.
Overall, the themes and creativity within this book were tremendous. Yes, I would have liked Robert to expand on many topics, but this book wouldn't have adapted well for children if he did.
Strengths: Robert's ability to write to a younger audience but have an adult audience enjoy the book as well is perhaps the greatest strength. He rivals JK Rowling with that ability, and he deserves the recognition. He also deserves a lot of credit for being able to write a story about being different and have it so warm-hearted. He put such a wonderful spin on something that could have been very terrible for him. I appreciate his work, and he deserves lots and lots of press for this book.
Weaknesses: His weaknesses within this book are mainly the themes and context that readers wanted - but readers need to be aware that this specific version of the story was adapted for children. Yes, I would have liked to see more of the struggle of his story and understand what he went through (the bullying, the pain, the thought process), but children don't always understand those aspects of an adult's story. Adults understand adults, children do not understand adults.
Score: 5 out of 5.
Robert Hoge's book is inspiring and uplifting. This inspirational read is truly a gem and I would love for more people to read this book. It addresses many topics that schools are trying to plant within their curriculums - embracing differences, dealing with bullying, and adapting to change. This book was incredible, and I can not give it enough stars or great reviews
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 25, 2019
Book Review:
Title: Ugly
Author: Robert Hoge
Date Read: September 28th - October 4th, 2016
Date Reviewed: October 6th, 2016
Introduction: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. When I read the synopsis of this novel I was incredibly intrigued. A memoir of the life of a child that went through surgeries due to birth defects seemed realistic and interesting. Most school aged children (and even adults) feel like they don't fit in, so reading a story about a life long battle with trying to fit in and how Robert Hoge managed to keep going made my heart warm.
Spoilers Ahead?: Yes.
Quick Summary: Robert Hoge was born with a few issues - he had a tumor on his face and his legs did not form correctly. As a small child, he went through surgeries to remove parts of his legs (to the knee and above the knee), remove the tumor on his face and realign his facial features to appear more 'normal'. Throughout his life Robert had to learn how to adapt - like walking with mechanical legs, deal with bullying, and making life decisions regarding future surgeries. This story is uplifting and inspiring to read, and this version of the story is written as a kid friendly story.
Evaluations: I loved this book - it was inspiring, beautifully written and aimed at the right audience. This easy read was made so children would be not only interested but able to understand. Robert Hoge uses metaphors and similes to explain how it feels to be different, which I think will help the audience grasp a better understanding. Overall, I'm impressed. I would definitely suggest that anyone read this novel, and if possible that school's should adapt the book into their reading curriculum. If more people understand, perhaps there would be less bullying and hate in this world.
Plot: The content of this story revolves around Robert Hoge's life and his struggles. It starts from when he was born, to when he was in his pre-teens. If anything, I would have liked to see what his struggles look like now, but I don't know if that would have worked with the audience he was writing to. Children want to hear about lives similar to theirs, so perhaps it was for the best.
The plot moves quick enough to keep the reader interested. I was more than impressed with how the story was adapted - a child could easily read this book and understand, but as an adult I also enjoyed the novel. It's hard to find stories that translate well for both kids and adult. I applaud Robert on how well he wrote this story.
I haven't been able to find any problems with the story itself. It's a great narrative with lots of substance - not only is there a story to be told, but Robert explains how he feels, and how the reader might feel. His metaphors work well with the audience - making a clay head that's perfect, but suddenly there's a giant piece of clay in the middle - and he continues to reference them throughout the novel for further understanding.
Overall, the context of the words in this book are excellent. The author tells a great story, and the fact that it was a true story, a memoir, that makes it even better.
Characters: The "characters" of the story are mainly Robert and his family, with a splash of friends, schoolmates, doctors and teachers. All the characters are realistic in the setting (and of course they are all real life people as well). You can't tell if they were portrayed the way they actually were, but everyone seems to be acting realistically. No character seems out of place or unrealistic within the context of the story.
Robert's character (of himself) also acts realistically for his age. I've found in some memoirs that when the author writes about themselves that the child version of themselves acts like an adult. Child Robert acts like a child, which is refreshing. Little Robert isn't having intense emotions similar to an adults, he is acting and thinking like a child throughout the novel. A+ for characterization!
Themes/Creativity/Uniqueness: If this novel would have been Young Adult or aimed at the Adult audience (which Robert Hoge has an "Adult" version of this novel that you can also check out) there probably could have been more themes implemented. This book doesn't deal with some of the emotional pain and bullying that most likely happened. The pain isn't discussed as much as it probably happened, either. But, this book wasn't aimed at an audience that needs to feel that pain just yet. For the audience it's made for, it does it's job. It explains how he was bullied and puts a light spin on the names he was called.
The main theme of this story seemed like "Be yourself" or "Nobody is perfect". Robert could have gotten more surgeries to look more "normal" but he didn't want to. Why would he want to go through more pain, time out for surgery, and the possibility for further injury just to look "normal". Everyone has their differences, and Robert constantly highlights this throughout the book. Nobody is truly normal - there are individuals with physical, mental, physiological and psychological changes out there. There are no two people alike - even twins are different with their personalities and interests. If people weren't quick to judge and accepted differences, perhaps this world would be a better place.
Overall, the themes and creativity within this book were tremendous. Yes, I would have liked Robert to expand on many topics, but this book wouldn't have adapted well for children if he did.
Strengths: Robert's ability to write to a younger audience but have an adult audience enjoy the book as well is perhaps the greatest strength. He rivals JK Rowling with that ability, and he deserves the recognition. He also deserves a lot of credit for being able to write a story about being different and have it so warm-hearted. He put such a wonderful spin on something that could have been very terrible for him. I appreciate his work, and he deserves lots and lots of press for this book.
Weaknesses: His weaknesses within this book are mainly the themes and context that readers wanted - but readers need to be aware that this specific version of the story was adapted for children. Yes, I would have liked to see more of the struggle of his story and understand what he went through (the bullying, the pain, the thought process), but children don't always understand those aspects of an adult's story. Adults understand adults, children do not understand adults.
Score: 5 out of 5.
Robert Hoge's book is inspiring and uplifting. This inspirational read is truly a gem and I would love for more people to read this book. It addresses many topics that schools are trying to plant within their curriculums - embracing differences, dealing with bullying, and adapting to change. This book was incredible, and I can not give it enough stars or great reviews.
Title: Ugly
Author: Robert Hoge
Date Read: September 28th - October 4th, 2016
Date Reviewed: October 6th, 2016
Introduction: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads. When I read the synopsis of this novel I was incredibly intrigued. A memoir of the life of a child that went through surgeries due to birth defects seemed realistic and interesting. Most school aged children (and even adults) feel like they don't fit in, so reading a story about a life long battle with trying to fit in and how Robert Hoge managed to keep going made my heart warm.
Spoilers Ahead?: Yes.
Quick Summary: Robert Hoge was born with a few issues - he had a tumor on his face and his legs did not form correctly. As a small child, he went through surgeries to remove parts of his legs (to the knee and above the knee), remove the tumor on his face and realign his facial features to appear more 'normal'. Throughout his life Robert had to learn how to adapt - like walking with mechanical legs, deal with bullying, and making life decisions regarding future surgeries. This story is uplifting and inspiring to read, and this version of the story is written as a kid friendly story.
Evaluations: I loved this book - it was inspiring, beautifully written and aimed at the right audience. This easy read was made so children would be not only interested but able to understand. Robert Hoge uses metaphors and similes to explain how it feels to be different, which I think will help the audience grasp a better understanding. Overall, I'm impressed. I would definitely suggest that anyone read this novel, and if possible that school's should adapt the book into their reading curriculum. If more people understand, perhaps there would be less bullying and hate in this world.
Plot: The content of this story revolves around Robert Hoge's life and his struggles. It starts from when he was born, to when he was in his pre-teens. If anything, I would have liked to see what his struggles look like now, but I don't know if that would have worked with the audience he was writing to. Children want to hear about lives similar to theirs, so perhaps it was for the best.
The plot moves quick enough to keep the reader interested. I was more than impressed with how the story was adapted - a child could easily read this book and understand, but as an adult I also enjoyed the novel. It's hard to find stories that translate well for both kids and adult. I applaud Robert on how well he wrote this story.
I haven't been able to find any problems with the story itself. It's a great narrative with lots of substance - not only is there a story to be told, but Robert explains how he feels, and how the reader might feel. His metaphors work well with the audience - making a clay head that's perfect, but suddenly there's a giant piece of clay in the middle - and he continues to reference them throughout the novel for further understanding.
Overall, the context of the words in this book are excellent. The author tells a great story, and the fact that it was a true story, a memoir, that makes it even better.
Characters: The "characters" of the story are mainly Robert and his family, with a splash of friends, schoolmates, doctors and teachers. All the characters are realistic in the setting (and of course they are all real life people as well). You can't tell if they were portrayed the way they actually were, but everyone seems to be acting realistically. No character seems out of place or unrealistic within the context of the story.
Robert's character (of himself) also acts realistically for his age. I've found in some memoirs that when the author writes about themselves that the child version of themselves acts like an adult. Child Robert acts like a child, which is refreshing. Little Robert isn't having intense emotions similar to an adults, he is acting and thinking like a child throughout the novel. A+ for characterization!
Themes/Creativity/Uniqueness: If this novel would have been Young Adult or aimed at the Adult audience (which Robert Hoge has an "Adult" version of this novel that you can also check out) there probably could have been more themes implemented. This book doesn't deal with some of the emotional pain and bullying that most likely happened. The pain isn't discussed as much as it probably happened, either. But, this book wasn't aimed at an audience that needs to feel that pain just yet. For the audience it's made for, it does it's job. It explains how he was bullied and puts a light spin on the names he was called.
The main theme of this story seemed like "Be yourself" or "Nobody is perfect". Robert could have gotten more surgeries to look more "normal" but he didn't want to. Why would he want to go through more pain, time out for surgery, and the possibility for further injury just to look "normal". Everyone has their differences, and Robert constantly highlights this throughout the book. Nobody is truly normal - there are individuals with physical, mental, physiological and psychological changes out there. There are no two people alike - even twins are different with their personalities and interests. If people weren't quick to judge and accepted differences, perhaps this world would be a better place.
Overall, the themes and creativity within this book were tremendous. Yes, I would have liked Robert to expand on many topics, but this book wouldn't have adapted well for children if he did.
Strengths: Robert's ability to write to a younger audience but have an adult audience enjoy the book as well is perhaps the greatest strength. He rivals JK Rowling with that ability, and he deserves the recognition. He also deserves a lot of credit for being able to write a story about being different and have it so warm-hearted. He put such a wonderful spin on something that could have been very terrible for him. I appreciate his work, and he deserves lots and lots of press for this book.
Weaknesses: His weaknesses within this book are mainly the themes and context that readers wanted - but readers need to be aware that this specific version of the story was adapted for children. Yes, I would have liked to see more of the struggle of his story and understand what he went through (the bullying, the pain, the thought process), but children don't always understand those aspects of an adult's story. Adults understand adults, children do not understand adults.
Score: 5 out of 5.
Robert Hoge's book is inspiring and uplifting. This inspirational read is truly a gem and I would love for more people to read this book. It addresses many topics that schools are trying to plant within their curriculums - embracing differences, dealing with bullying, and adapting to change. This book was incredible, and I can not give it enough stars or great reviews.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 27, 2013
This truly is a very moving and inspiring read and one in which I won't forget.
Mary Hoge went into labour on the 21st of July 1972 and endured a long and difficult labour. On Sunday 23rd of July 1972 she gave birth to her fifth child Robert Hoge. After he was born Mary asked if her baby was alright and the doctors reply was no. Of course no parent wants to hear that straight after giving birth.
Robert Hoge was born with a large tumour on his forehead which ran all the way down to the tip of where his nose should've been. He was also born with deformed legs. The right leg was three quarters as long as it should have been and it had a small foot that bent forward at an odd angle with only four toes. The left leg was evens shorter and only had two toes which were both malformed.
Mary thought that perhaps her son would die, but her husband Vince believed he was strong and healthy and that he would live. Both Mary and Vince were very upset but it was Mary who didn't want to look at her son and nor did she want to take him home. Once Mary was well enough she left the hospital but she did not take her son with her. Mary and Vince's other children enquired as to where their baby brother was and they were told exactly what was wrong with him. The children all agreed that Robert should be brought home where he belonged and so their parents ended up bringing him home.
Robert must undergo numerous operations which start from a very young age and all these operations all carry very high risks. When Robert is old enough he starts school and this is where he will have to be strong once again. Robert is determined to let nothing get in his way and we see how he grows into an extraordinary young man. This is a very touching, beautiful and emotional story. I really enjoyed this memoir and I have no hesitation in recommending it.
Mary Hoge went into labour on the 21st of July 1972 and endured a long and difficult labour. On Sunday 23rd of July 1972 she gave birth to her fifth child Robert Hoge. After he was born Mary asked if her baby was alright and the doctors reply was no. Of course no parent wants to hear that straight after giving birth.
Robert Hoge was born with a large tumour on his forehead which ran all the way down to the tip of where his nose should've been. He was also born with deformed legs. The right leg was three quarters as long as it should have been and it had a small foot that bent forward at an odd angle with only four toes. The left leg was evens shorter and only had two toes which were both malformed.
Mary thought that perhaps her son would die, but her husband Vince believed he was strong and healthy and that he would live. Both Mary and Vince were very upset but it was Mary who didn't want to look at her son and nor did she want to take him home. Once Mary was well enough she left the hospital but she did not take her son with her. Mary and Vince's other children enquired as to where their baby brother was and they were told exactly what was wrong with him. The children all agreed that Robert should be brought home where he belonged and so their parents ended up bringing him home.
Robert must undergo numerous operations which start from a very young age and all these operations all carry very high risks. When Robert is old enough he starts school and this is where he will have to be strong once again. Robert is determined to let nothing get in his way and we see how he grows into an extraordinary young man. This is a very touching, beautiful and emotional story. I really enjoyed this memoir and I have no hesitation in recommending it.
March 19, 2019
This book was truly one of my favorite reads so far. I really loved reading this book because it gives you a different perspective on life. It talks about Robert, a boy who was born with many disformities. He had both of his legs amputated and had many surgeries on his face to help make him look "normal". He struggled with bullied mostly once he got to middle school and started to wonder if he would ever be like the other kids. When given the choice to have another surgery to make him "normal" he has a tough choice to make. He spent his whole life having surgeries and doctors surrounding him does it want to get another major surgery? This book helped me realize how different everyone's life is and how you truly shouldn't take anything for granted.
September 14, 2013
Robert Hoge is a guy I see at science fiction conventions, I don't know him very well, so my curiosity was piqued when I saw he had a memoir coming out.
I learned a lot about Robert by reading his memoir, and am sure his book will interest many readers whether they know Robert or not.
In some ways the title and beginning of the book are confrontational. So many of us are ugly in so many different ways, and feel we belong to what Robert refers to as "The Ugly Club"; outsiders, people to be picked on.
Robert was born with a tumour on his face that severely altered his facial features. His legs were also severely deformed. (I never realised how badly until I read his book, but then it's never concerned me.) His mother rejected him at birth, but reconsidered and accepted him as her own. His father seems to be everything good about the typical Australian male.
This is not a book about heroes overcoming all adversities, but I particularly liked the (to me) typically Australian outlook on life: you just make the best of what you've got. By his own account, and with more than a dollop of a very dry sense of humour, Robert was a loud, cheeky kid, who got into just as much mischief as any other boy his age. I particularly liked his recollection of sand-papering his school desk so much he managed to sand a hole in it.
As you'd expect for someone who's been a journalist and a political speechwriter, he writes well. His style is casual, friendly and easy to read. There's a smattering of science-fiction mentions - for some reason I was expecting more - and he's had some remarkable highlights in his life (including being friends with writer Hugh Lunn, who is a bit of a hero of mine).
All I can say about the book's ending is that if you don't find yourself crying happy tears, there's something wrong with you.
And Hoge is still quite young - giving himself plenty of time for a second book of memoirs.
I learned a lot about Robert by reading his memoir, and am sure his book will interest many readers whether they know Robert or not.
In some ways the title and beginning of the book are confrontational. So many of us are ugly in so many different ways, and feel we belong to what Robert refers to as "The Ugly Club"; outsiders, people to be picked on.
Robert was born with a tumour on his face that severely altered his facial features. His legs were also severely deformed. (I never realised how badly until I read his book, but then it's never concerned me.) His mother rejected him at birth, but reconsidered and accepted him as her own. His father seems to be everything good about the typical Australian male.
This is not a book about heroes overcoming all adversities, but I particularly liked the (to me) typically Australian outlook on life: you just make the best of what you've got. By his own account, and with more than a dollop of a very dry sense of humour, Robert was a loud, cheeky kid, who got into just as much mischief as any other boy his age. I particularly liked his recollection of sand-papering his school desk so much he managed to sand a hole in it.
As you'd expect for someone who's been a journalist and a political speechwriter, he writes well. His style is casual, friendly and easy to read. There's a smattering of science-fiction mentions - for some reason I was expecting more - and he's had some remarkable highlights in his life (including being friends with writer Hugh Lunn, who is a bit of a hero of mine).
All I can say about the book's ending is that if you don't find yourself crying happy tears, there's something wrong with you.
And Hoge is still quite young - giving himself plenty of time for a second book of memoirs.
August 20, 2015
This book was well written and easy to read. Robert's voice is humorous and honest. I'm sure it will resonate with kids as it did with me. I will be recommending it at my school library.
October 19, 2017
Robert was born with severe deformities including a large tumor growing in the middle of his face and two legs that did not properly form in the womb. He reveals that his mother did not want him as a baby and had to take some time to wrap her head around the reality with newest baby. This book also addresses the topics of bullying. The way Robert faces teasing is inspiring because he holds his head high (for the most part) and does not shy away from living his life to the fullest. At one point, he chooses to tease a kid back and gets reprimanded by the school principal for it. This turn of events, causes him to reflect on what it's like to be on the other end of bullying... to be the bully. It's a surprising lesson that teaches him compassion. Ultimately, Robert finds a place he can be a part of a team, where he can compete and enjoy camaraderie with others and be accepted for his contributions. The grace and normality with which Robert has attempted to live his life is admirable and inspiring.
July 9, 2017
I really wanted to like this book. The illustrations were interesting and the overall story is heartbreaking, but the way it was written prevented me from really connecting with the work or taking anything away from it. It's a very sad story, but cut off abruptly and the writing itself was too basic for me.
January 6, 2020
When Robert was born, he had a tumor the size of a tennis ball in the middle of his face and short, twisted legs. Surgeons removed the tumor and made him a new nose. He survived complicated surgeries— only to discover that other kids and adults could be cruel about his appearance. But Robert refused to let the judgments of other people define him. This true story about Robert’s struggles, triumphs, and adventures is definitely worth reading!
Favorite Quote: Everyone is uglier than they think. We are all more beautiful too. We all have scars only we can own.”
I loved reading Ugly. It is written for middle grade students and leaves the reader with such a positive message. Even though you may have a disability, it doesn’t define you. You are so much more than that. The book starts when Hoge was born and chronicles his early childhood years. He tells of going to school, wanting to play a sport, and finally finding one he excels in. A very upbeat and positive read. The Q and A with the author at the end is just icing on the cake!
Favorite Quote: Everyone is uglier than they think. We are all more beautiful too. We all have scars only we can own.”
I loved reading Ugly. It is written for middle grade students and leaves the reader with such a positive message. Even though you may have a disability, it doesn’t define you. You are so much more than that. The book starts when Hoge was born and chronicles his early childhood years. He tells of going to school, wanting to play a sport, and finally finding one he excels in. A very upbeat and positive read. The Q and A with the author at the end is just icing on the cake!
August 18, 2016
I am incredibly glad that Penguin Random House decided to send me a copy of Roberts story. It's a very honest account of what's it's like to grow up with a disability. He wasn't born with a physical advantage in life and has a great attitude about it. I love that this is written for younger readers and I will be recommending it for sure.
May 16, 2020
Fans of Wonder will enjoy this true story by Australian Robert Hoge about what it was like to grow up with a facial deformity and disability. This that rare nonfiction biography that kids will read. The illustrations interspersed throughout the story were perfect.
January 1, 2017
Don't remember why I picked up Ugly, a disability memoir by Australian author and SF fan Robert Hoge. It was OK. I may go look for his TED talk to see if he's more compelling in that venue.
Read
November 15, 2017It's a great book to show kids it's okay to be different, you just have to know how to own it.
Read
November 9, 2018An amazing true story that resembles Wonder!
August 10, 2016
I was extremely interested in reading this as I have known Robert for many years as someone interesting to talk to at Science Fiction Conventions. I had always wondered about his looks but being a politely brought up young lady, had never asked before exactly what had caused them. His memoir is a poignant, witty, self-deprecating look at life for the not-so-normal looking. I laughed with him, I cried with him, I marveled at how much his childhood memories mirrored my own as we grew up in similar decades, although I grew up in country Victoria and he in Brisbane. Some world events that had great impact on him had not even crossed my radar, but you can see that the personal strength he gained from being different has had a profound effect on his life and confidence.
I look at my life, at opportunities missed because of timidity and lack of confidence and I realise that if I had an ounce of his bravery and love of life I would be a very lucky person.
I thoroughly recommend this to everyone.
I look at my life, at opportunities missed because of timidity and lack of confidence and I realise that if I had an ounce of his bravery and love of life I would be a very lucky person.
I thoroughly recommend this to everyone.
May 26, 2020
Poor Robert! Poor family!
My family has had 3 children with some form of disabilities born, NOTHING as severe as this, but certainly with some differences. So we are aware of how people perceive those who are different. Everyone acts as if the fault lies with the person who is different, just as if they do this on purpose.
I think Robert tells his story in a clear and concise manner and is especially well done for kids. Who often need the details in the clearest manner and the right action clearly defined by example. Using the bad behavior of the ladies in the elevator allows children to put bad behavior on adults, and be better than adults.
The details of the surgeries are equally offset with positive gains in the areas of life skills such as playing. I loved the part about learning to bowl. Frank was just so great with Robert.
Clearly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
4 stars
Happy Reading!
My family has had 3 children with some form of disabilities born, NOTHING as severe as this, but certainly with some differences. So we are aware of how people perceive those who are different. Everyone acts as if the fault lies with the person who is different, just as if they do this on purpose.
I think Robert tells his story in a clear and concise manner and is especially well done for kids. Who often need the details in the clearest manner and the right action clearly defined by example. Using the bad behavior of the ladies in the elevator allows children to put bad behavior on adults, and be better than adults.
The details of the surgeries are equally offset with positive gains in the areas of life skills such as playing. I loved the part about learning to bowl. Frank was just so great with Robert.
Clearly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
4 stars
Happy Reading!
February 28, 2014
Ugly is an amazing story of the life of Robert Hoge. he was born with a tumour on his face which left him disfigured as well as deformed feet which were amputated so he could walk with fake legs. For Robert to share his story is truly remarkable and very brave. He lives an ordinary life with his wife and child and has not let his disability conquer him. Thank you Robert for sharing your life with me, the reader. I applaud you for your frankness and wish you all the very best in the future. For people who read your book I think it'll make them think the next time they see a person on the street who is a bit "different."
October 28, 2017
Billed as "the true life Wonder story" this book documents Robert Hope's life as he learns to "own his ugly face." Hoge was born with a tumor in the center of his face, and under went extensive facial surgery at the age of four to fix his appearance. Hoge narrates his experiences in school and in life as he struggles to fit in. Told with wit and sincerity, this is a great book to teach kids empathy towards those who are different.
May 24, 2021
This story of Robert's life is told simply and impactfully. I could understand his difference and his normalness. I loved the line at the end of the book: "I knew I was ugly. But everyone is uglier than they think. We are all more beautiful too. We all have scars only we can own."
2021 Popsugar Reading Challenge: A book that discusses body positivity
2021 Popsugar Reading Challenge: A book that discusses body positivity
October 24, 2017
This was a memoir about a man who was born with facial deformities and undergoes many surgeries to look as "normal" as possible. He was often stared at and teased about his looks. While this was a decent book in general, it just wasn't what I thought it would be.
July 11, 2022
This was a very straightforward memoir with many insights into life with significant disabilities. What comes across is what a fine person Robert Hoge is.
April 2, 2019
I'm impressed, not just that Hoge chose to tell the story of his life (including the fact that his mother didn't want to take him home for a month after he was born), but also that he chose to tell it for a middle grade audience and did it — in my opinion — very well. He talks in a matter-of-fact way about both his facial differences and his physical disabilities due to his deformed legs, using simple but not condescending language. He talks about being teased and being stared at, but he also talks about learning to do handstands with the neighbor girls, playing pranks on his schoolmates, and finding — after many attempts! — a physical activity that he could excel at. He has a dry sense of humor that made me laugh out loud multiple times. Although I think Wonder is also a good book, I can see a lot of reasons to hand this book to middle-grade readers instead if you really want to have a conversation about facial differences.
The book holds up as a memoir for adult readers as well, though overall it's not as strong as a lot of other memoirs I've read. There are stories that Hoge includes for no apparent reason except that he happens to remember that moment from his childhood; these don't tie in to the rest of the book in any way or have any sort of punch line to explain their inclusion. Since the book is pretty short, it doesn't take away too much from the overall impact to have some filler stories, but it did mean there were unnecessary weak spots in the book's flow.
Hoge's story provides lots of food for thought about the way we as humans think about physical appearance and disability. For example, he says that before his parents decided to have him undergo a massive operation on his face, they wanted to make sure he had normal intelligence; if he'd been intellectually disabled, they wouldn't have bothered. There's a lot of discussion about trying to make him "normal" and how his face will impact his opportunities in life. It forces the reader to think about what they would do in a similar situation, both as parents and, at the end, when Robert himself has to decide as a teenager whether to undergo one final large operation. When it's not a medical necessity, can it still be considered a social necessity?
Hoge narrates the audiobook himself, so it wasn't the most compelling narration (authors who aren't actors rarely have the best narration), but you get to hear his Australian accent and hear him talk matter-of-factly about the difficult parts of his life. Speaking of his being Australian, I was a bit confused about the audience for the book, because at times it seemed to have been American-ized, using American words or explaining things in American terms, but at other times the words and phrases used were still distinctly Australian. (For example, I had to look up what "running writing" means — it's cursive.) Perhaps it was meant to split the difference and be understandable to Australian and non-Australian readers?
On the whole, I definitely recommend this! It's a good read for both kids and adults.
The book holds up as a memoir for adult readers as well, though overall it's not as strong as a lot of other memoirs I've read. There are stories that Hoge includes for no apparent reason except that he happens to remember that moment from his childhood; these don't tie in to the rest of the book in any way or have any sort of punch line to explain their inclusion. Since the book is pretty short, it doesn't take away too much from the overall impact to have some filler stories, but it did mean there were unnecessary weak spots in the book's flow.
Hoge's story provides lots of food for thought about the way we as humans think about physical appearance and disability. For example, he says that before his parents decided to have him undergo a massive operation on his face, they wanted to make sure he had normal intelligence; if he'd been intellectually disabled, they wouldn't have bothered. There's a lot of discussion about trying to make him "normal" and how his face will impact his opportunities in life. It forces the reader to think about what they would do in a similar situation, both as parents and, at the end, when Robert himself has to decide as a teenager whether to undergo one final large operation. When it's not a medical necessity, can it still be considered a social necessity?
Hoge narrates the audiobook himself, so it wasn't the most compelling narration (authors who aren't actors rarely have the best narration), but you get to hear his Australian accent and hear him talk matter-of-factly about the difficult parts of his life. Speaking of his being Australian, I was a bit confused about the audience for the book, because at times it seemed to have been American-ized, using American words or explaining things in American terms, but at other times the words and phrases used were still distinctly Australian. (For example, I had to look up what "running writing" means — it's cursive.) Perhaps it was meant to split the difference and be understandable to Australian and non-Australian readers?
On the whole, I definitely recommend this! It's a good read for both kids and adults.
March 30, 2020
This was a great book about self-reflection and being different this is a wonderful and amazing book that everyone should read.
January 27, 2016
Although this book at heart has a good message and the idea of it is good, the actual written book itself is terrible. The story drags on for far too long and focuses on events irrelevant to any of the key messages or themes but rather reads a diary of a young boy just going about his life, but including every boring detail of his day. This book had a lot of potential but was just written wrong and was gone the wrong way about sharing the message and sticking to themes.
July 3, 2018
Narration takes a dive after a promising start. Nonetheless I enjoyed the matter-of-fact tone and the glimpses into the key episodes in his life. coping with surgeries and deformities. Its a great choice for middle grade and even as kidlit.
September 9, 2016
3.5
Good nonfiction title to pair with Wonder
Good nonfiction title to pair with Wonder
Read
April 2, 2018this book is about how one ugly kid has to learn to get along with his uglyness and make life or death choices.
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