I found this book engrossing, and very close to nature due to his observations. However, it is not an extreme, super-macho, edge-of-seat survivalist book, although through his preparations, daily attentiveness to detail, and tendency toward a bit of caution, he does survive a risky environment. It is not a fast read, it can lead to much introspection while sitting on a rock in the cold, wind and rain with Robert. It is not a pretty story about a man who walks into the woods and comes back a brand new man. It is a story about a human with all his flaws, and his observations in and/or about nature, weather, pain, fear, bliss, life, death, and an outboard motor from hell.
A man working on his PhD, decides to spend a year in solitude in a remote area off the coast of Chile in the Patagonia Wilderness. He spent 3 months in solitude 25 years earlier and had experienced enlightenment-like feelings of bliss while alone in nature, and wanted to recapture that feeling and cure some of his "imperfections". A common goal of all perfectionists. His book is written in the form of log entries with 9 interludes that further explore issues related to his journey. This book is an exploration of the human condition from the viewpoint of his studies, biology and psychology, and his passion, spiritual development. All right up my alley!
Right away, I realized I would enjoy his journey because he claimed to have control issues, was a self-proclaimed perfectionist, with a history of relationship problems. He then embarked on his journey with a kitten he picked up on the way.... not a recipe for success when heading into an environment where focus and inner peace are the goal, and a cat along to override his control of anything! I knew then he would be experiencing the same hellish introspection I have encountered since bringing a cat into my life 16 years ago, and I wasn't in a survival situation in extreme weather conditions.
The author has many issues, but he seems to be aware of all of them. This is typical of those on a spiritual journey who read a lot, and look inward. (Many on a spiritual journey read a lot, but only look outward....) He is aware of his fear of judgement, and that he himself judges the authors of the books he discusses along the way. He is aware of the projection of his fear and pain on the weather. He is aware of his hostility and lack of patience with the cat, and does a lot of soul searching on the topic. At one point he nails the issue in a log entry, which I recognized because I've been there, but doesn't seem to connect the two (in writing anyhow). I actually talked to the book, "Yes, that's it! He's the same as you!" Then he moved on....not sure if he understood the parallel then, or later, but he slowly made his peace with Cat over the year. He is also aware of how he treats women, which he admits isn't good, but his awareness and desire to change score him a few points.... he does some psychological exploration on that topic in the book and is brutally honest with his feelings.
He read many interesting books and discussed some at length during his year in isolation. The reading list he offers at the end is fantastic. Below are a few of the thoughts he pondered along the way, riding out the storms in his tarp-walled "cabin":
"Often I project my pain and fear out onto the world so I can have the comforting illusion of possible escape. 'If I go to a warm dry climate, the pain will stop. If the wind dies, so will my fear.' But there will be other pain and other fear, and the need to escape will never end. My task here is to make peace with pain and fear and to realize that, finally, there is no possibility of escape because there is no real separation between the world and me." - Robert Kull
"Through their (Chilean biologists Maturana and Varela) empirical studies in neuroscience, they came to realize that human beings do not have direct access to a supposed objective reality; each of us has a particular perspective dependent on physiology, culture, and personal history. We do not live in a universe, but in a multiverse."
"Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone.
It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone." - Paul Tillich
"When we cling to the results of our actions as our only source of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance than as friends, with whom we share the fights of life....In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness." - Father Henri Nouwen
"It's as though these are separate worldviews and personalities. One loves security, my own nest, friends and lovers, peer respect, etc. When in that mode, the thought of wandering homeless and alone, with all the fears and discomforts, frightens me. Yet once I set off, I love being 'out there', and the comforts and relationships I've left behind lose importance. Then, in some vital way there isn't any 'out there'. It's all right wherever I am." - Robert Kull
"I also read books this way. At first I'm just distantly engaged with the ideas, then little by little I begin to consider how they relate to my own journey. Often, I imagine that books are supposed to be perfect. But, they are written by people just trying to make sense of their lives." - Robert Kull