Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce? And When Can I Get a Hamster?: A Guide to Parenting Through Divorce

by Anthony E. Wolf

Divorce does not have to inflict long-term damage on a child, writes Anthony E. Wolf in this hands-on, helpful guide for parenting through divorce. A practicing psychologist who has worked with children and adolescents for almost 30 years, Wolf is the author of the popular book Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager. Here he tackles one of the most difficult aspects of divorce--talking about it. Caught unawares in a difficult emotional state, it's often hard for parents to know what to say. How do you break the news to your kids? How should you communicate, and what kind of reactions can you expect? And then what?

Through sample conversations, Wolf presents strategies for opening communication, keeping children out of the middle, and dealing with both the day-to-day complications and long-term effects of divorce. Wolf is taking a presumptive risk in scripting family encounters, but because he gives so many examples and because the advice is sensible, compassionate, and well-explained, he never seems didactic. Wolf's advice covers everything from helping your kids figure out what to tell their friends about the divorce to what to say when your ex-spouse is uncooperative. He is a strong proponent of "quality time" (and his example of a two-minute "quality time" conversation is stunning in its simplicity and effectiveness). While every situation and conversation may not match your own, most divorced or divorcing parents will learn a great deal. --Ericka Lutz

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 20, 1998

About the author

Published in the UK as Tony Wolf

Reviews

[Nikki Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author has example conversations to illustrate points from different situations. I was about half way through the book before I realized that these were not conservations he had actually had during talk therapy with clients; no, he made these conversations up. The conversational examples are often over-exaggerated and trite. Not much help, and that is a large portion of the book.

[rivka · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

Has some good bits, but also some lousy suggestions, and nothing that can't be found elsewhere.