If I were rating this book simply on the quality of the writing, it would rate four or five stars. Newton is obviously a skilled writer and I had no trouble slipping into the narrative dream of her life quickly. I enjoyed the book but I just wish there were more moments of connection than there were. There were two times I was deeply touched: one, when her ex-husband died and two, when her mother was dying and she was able to put aside her own pain and say "mother's here." OMG, these were powerful moments that made me cry with sadness and empathy. I felt connected.
Let me back up a little and say that this is a trifecta of a memoir, with the themes of food, childhood, and politics, all woven together with tales of the men in her life, only one of which she goes into any real depth about, the aforementioned gay ex-husband who died. Her feelings towards men seem to be ambivalent, and like many feminists, she seems to have trouble dealing with men who have traditional male characteristics, and although her male-bashing is kept to a minimum, it is still disturbing, if only because she seems to be oblivious to it. One of the problems I find with reading memoirs of people with far-left views is that they seem to have blinders on when it comes to their own particular biases. When it comes to a memoir, this can be a real problem, and at times she comes off as somewhat aloof and even elitist. But, I digress, as I am prone to do. Back to the trifecta.
She writes briefly of a painful incident that happened to her when she was four years old. Her mother found out that she had played "doctor" with another child, a young boy, and she was chastised by being told "I thought you were a good little girl." This incident played such an important part in her life that she spent decades trying to conceal what she wrote was "a sense of monstrousness” in herself. This incident, coupled with the fact that she was fat until she twelve years old and that her father’s behavior towards her after she lost weight was at times inappropriate (though oddly, she drops this subject without further ado) leaves her obviously scarred. The strange thing is that most of these incidents that seem to have touched her most deeply are the incidents she glosses by all too quickly. And, I find it highly ironic that part of the misery of her childhood is that she is fat but there we are, being offered recipes of cookies and pies that fed her misery.
The book is not without it’s funny parts, and I got a big chuckle out of one beautifully written scene where she has just finished a piano recital she flubbed. Her mother’s response when the child apologizes for embarrassing her is downright comical.
For the most part, I enjoyed the interspersing of the recipes and how food related to her life. The down-home comfort food of her youth becomes increasingly Foodie in nature.
The last part of the trifecta of her life is her political life and although I love memoirs and
don’t let someone’s politics limit my reading, I found myself puzzled at what drove her politically. In giving so much weight to describing her politics and her work, she fails to really make me understand what exactly in her life made her feel so strongly as she did. What drove the chubby little girl so completely that she felt compelled to abandon what she was? Was it the sense of monstrousness she touched upon earlier in the book? She doesn’t say.
I came away with the sense that she really had a pretty good childhood and she was pretty unfair to her mother, having little good to say about her except that she baked good pies, and even then her mom was criticized for her inability to teach that skill. It troubled me that that impression probably wasn't the impression I was supposed to come away with, because there was obviously so much pain within her. As interesting as her political and Foodie life was, I think it got in the way of telling her other story, about the vulnerable and sensitive child who survived and overcame great pain. This is the person I wanted to know more about.
This all said, I recommend the book. I found myself liking the author and her sense of
joy in cooking for her friends. It just seemed like something was missing.
I received this book via Goodreads First Reads Giveaway contest. Thanks to the author for writing this book and for sending it out to me so promptly after my win.