Ten Days to Self-Esteem

by David D. Burns

Do you wake up dreading the day?
Do you feel discouraged with what you've accomplished in life?
Do you want greater self-esteem, productivity, and joy in daily living?

If so, you will benefit from this revolutionary way of brightening your moods without drugs or lengthy therapy. All you need is your own common sense and the easy-to-follow methods revealed in this book by one of the country's foremost authorities on mood and personal relationship problems.

In Ten Days to Self-esteem, Dr. David Burns presents innovative, clear, and compassionate methods that will help you identify the causes of your mood slumps and develop a more positive outlook on life. You will learn that

You feel the way you think: Negative feelings like guilt, anger, and depression do not result from the bad things that happen to you, but from the way you think about these events. This simple but revolutionary idea can change your life!

You can change the way you feel: You will discover why you get depressed and learn how to brighten your outlook when you're in a slump.

You can enjoy greater happiness, productivity, and intimacy—without drugs or lengthy therapy.

Can a self-help book do all this? Studies show that two thirds of depressed readers of Dr. Burns's classic bestseller, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, experienced dramatic felief in just four weeks without psychotherapy or antidepressant medications. Three-year follow-up studies revealed that readers did not relapse but continued to enjoy their positive outlook. Ten Days to Self-esteem offers a powerful new tool that provides hope and healing in ten easy steps. The methods are based on common sense and are not difficult to apply. Research shows that they really work!

Feeling good feels wonderful. You owe it to yourself to feel good!

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Esteem, Personal Development, Mental Health, Health

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

David D. Burns is an American psychiatrist and adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He is the author of bestselling books such as Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, The Feeling Good Handbook and Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety.
Burns popularized Albert Ellis's and Aaron T. Beck's cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) when his books became bestsellers during the 1980s. In a January 2021 interview, Burns attributed his rise in popularity and much of his success to an appearance in 1988 on The Phil Donahue Show, to which he was invited by the producer after helping her teenage son with depression.

Reviews

[Mohammad · Rating 4 out of 5]

شکستهای ما و لحظه های ناامیدی، گاهی اوقات می‌توانند بهترین فرصتها را برای پیشرفت، صمیمیت، آگاهی معنوی و پذیرش به ارمغان آورند.

[Ian Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very practical introduction to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy through a series of lessons and worksheets. It doesn't have to be done in 10 days, really, and I felt taking my time with it was worthwhile.

CBT is all about changing the way you think to change the way you feel. It certainly worked for me. The theory is that no situation causes us to feel something, rather, the way we react to the situation is what causes our feelings. Take the example of a rejection. Rejections are not exactly pleasant, but there is no universal reaction. One person might think "Of course so-and-so wouldn't want to go out with a loser like me" and another might think "Well, I really liked so-and-so and it would have been nice to spend time together, but it's no big deal." The way we think affects how we feel. We have a choice to change our thinking. It's not something that happens overnight, but it is something we have the ability to influence.

If you're feeling stuck, down, depressed, anxious, or otherwise in a bad place, this is a great book to get. Even if you are not, it's excellent and useful. It will help you understand yourself, and face some of your demons and your fears. Dr. Burns is a very kind man, and his writing reflects that. Highly, highly recommended.

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

It doesn't go like this, not this quickly. Self esteem is a system of belief within our 4 bodies (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) and you have to caress it with competence, worthiness and pride through repeated actions, affirmations and will power. And it still doesn't grant that you will feel as your best self in all the fields (family, friends, job, relationships, hobbies/interests); and your best self cannot be made within 10 days. Just raising awareness about certain issues is one by one small step ahead. It is a process and it doesn't come naturally; it is hard work, a willingness to change your mental programming.

[Rowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good start with CBT in regards to self-worth. You can take as long as you need and be as detailed as you need. I imagine going through it multiple times would be the best plan of attack. After reviewing and going through the exercises, I think it is probably the third round that really starts getting somewhere.
While I found the repetitive nature of the evaluations pretty"meh" from a reader standpoint, it's important to remember this is essentially a CBT workbook.

As for if Burns' methods are effective, I can't say. I don't actually have low self-esteem. ;)
However, Burns is a go-to in the industry and his reputation is phenomenal for a reason.

[Amir Sahbaee · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب خیلی خوبی در زمینه ی ارتباطات از نویسنده ی کتاب معروف "از حال خوب به حال بد"
--
از این کتاب های رابطه ای چندتایی خوندم. مثلا "دشواری های گفتگو" و "ارتباط بدون خشونت"
الان میتونم بگم که واقعا فرق خیلی زیادی بین این کتاب ها نیست
شاید یکم در ادبیاتشون فرق باشه و جزئیات قدم هایی که می‌گن باید برداریم و تلاش هاشون برای قانع کردن ما
همشون معتقدن تغییر باید از جانب "ما" صورت بگیره.فرقی نمی‌کنه که ارتباطمون با پدر و مادر یا همکار یا همخونه یا پارتنر یا فرزندمون بده،نهایتا چیزی که دست ماست و می‌تونیم تغییرش بدیم واسه ی بهبود این رابطه،خودمونیم.این تنها نقطه ایه که می‌تونیم روش کار کنیم برای بهتر شدن یه رابطه ی مشکل دار.از این جهت شباهت هایی هم با تئوری انتخاب دارن
این کتاب هم خیلی صریح بود.اول توضیح داد که اگه نمیخواین تغییر کنین کتابو ببندین.اگه امیدوار نیستین کتابو ببندین.اگه فک میکنین که "چرا شما باید تغییر کنین وقتی طرف مقابل مشکل داره" کتاب رو ببندید
کتاب تمرین های زیادی داره که باید بنویسیم تا بتونیم خوب تمرینشون کنیم و یادشون بگیریم
اعتراف میکنم بعضیاشو تو گوشی نوشتم و بعضیارو اصلا ننوشتم.ولی واسه همه ش وقت گذاشتم.و باور کنید که اگه انجامشون ندید هیچ تغییری نمیکنید.
کتاب خوبیه و میتونه توی درست و انسانی ارتباط برقرار کردن کمکمون کنه
و باز برای هزارمین بار میگم که این کتابا واسه این نیست که به بقیه بگیم دارن اشتباه میکنن.واسه اینه که روی خودمون کار کنیم

فقط نفهمیدم کتاب چرا بدون ۲خط جمع بندی یه جوری تموم شد که مجبور شدم بیام تعداد صفحاتشو چک کنم:))
و دیگه اینکه وقتی نویسنده تو کتاب گقته من اخر کتاب فرم خالی گذاشتم که بتونین برای تمرین کردن کپی بگیرین،چرا ناشر اونارو نیاورده؟! خب ما رو حرفش حساب کردیم خیلی کار مسخره ای بود

[امیرمحمد حیدری · Rating 1 out of 5]

نمی‌دانم چطور ممکن است یک استاد روان‌شناسی دانشگاه استنفورد چنین کتاب خزعبلی بنویسد. روان‌شناسی زرد.

[Arefe · Rating 2 out of 5]

اگر آدمی هستید که پا به پای کتاب پیش برید و تمرین هاشو انجام بدید، کتاب کارآمدیه.

[J.H. Moncrieff · Rating 3 out of 5]

While you can work through this book on your own, it was clearly designed for a therapy group. Some of the exercises were meant for partner work--somehow, I can't see doing them by oneself in a mirror, as suggested, being as effective.

Some of the theories and suggestions are helpful, but it would be even more helpful if they were simplified. For example, Dr. Burns points out that how we think dictates how we feel and behave--great. So, when we think something negative, it's often a distorted thought. One exercise he has you repeat over and over throughout the book is identifying the event which caused the distorted thinking, listing your feelings and rating how strongly you felt all of them, listing the thought, and then listing down all the distortions represented by that thought, etc. The list of distortions is long, and I always had to read the table of them again in order to remember them all. I'm curious as to whether people really go through all this work whenever they have a negative thought. I wish there was a simpler technique with fewer steps that would make more sense for everyday life.

One of the biggest disappointments for me came after a procrastination quiz. After taking the quiz to see why you procrastinate, your scores reveal which areas of procrastination you need to work on--but it never said how to work on them! I kept thinking I was missing something, but no, those instructions were not there.

There's still some helpful insights, but I'm hoping Burns' Feeling Good book will be a little bit more practical, and not require me to take the same tests every single day for ten days.

[Caelie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm going through old paperwork and I found the exercises in this book that I did over 5 years ago with a therapist. I frequently come back to some of the tools I learned from this book especially a part on distorted thinking patterns.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's good, but a rehash of his original Feeling Good book.

[Huong Tran · Rating 5 out of 5]

i love this book because it provides several ways to deal with depression and anxiety, with clear instructions and examples. you need to actually do the tests and "homeworks" though, you will be amazed of how much it will help you getting through rough lonely time, feel more hopeful. and even if you relapse, which i did after a few days, there is a section to help you cope with that as well. remember, dont be too harsh on yourself, the fact that you picked up this book and tried to work on yourself is already an amazing start!

[Arezoo · Rating 1 out of 5]

نصف بیشتر کتاب رو تیترش رو خوندم از بس که تکراری بود.

[Cindi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very informative and quick(ish) read. He suggests that you only read one chapter per day but that might even be too quickly if you really are trying to work through the program. There is a lot of writing you are supposed to do with this book but I found a lot of helpful tips and tools that I hope will help me. This book is a little old, but I felt there was a lot of things that are still true and applicable. This book will not be for everyone because he does mention how religion fits into the idea of self and self-esteem. Some religions do not believe in psychotherapy and some people do not believe in organized religion but I feel that he addresses that and people can either take or leave his ideas on that. I enjoyed it and found a lot of great truths.

[Heather Southard · Rating 5 out of 5]

It didn't take all 10 days for me to see the errors in my thought processes...

[Billie Pritchett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Will review later

[fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

- Don't get the ebook version! This is a workbook. I had to download Adobe Digital Editions to my laptop to be able to see the diagrams/activities properly, as the way they were saved into the ebook, they couldn't be enlarged and were unreadable. I then had to copy the activities into a notebook to be able to do them.
- Some of the beginning is a repeat of information in the Feeling Good book. Not too much though.
- At the start of every chapter, you take 3 tests to assess your self-esteem. My scores absolutely improved by the end of the book. I think this was a combination of reading Feeling Good, this book, and implementing some other ideas I had along the way (like affirmations, which I thought were stupid years ago, but they actually work for me).
- The chapters on perfectionism and spirituality weren't of interest to me, but the procrastination chapter was great (for me). I feel like I have a good tool for dealing with procrastination now.
- I think doing this workbook at home alone is probably far less effective than working on it with an expert (eg a psychologist trained in CBT).

[Ayumeko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some notable quotes

-Some people do not seem to understand or accept [that willingness to help yourself is important]. They are quite happy to complain endlessly about how bad things are as long as they don’t have to do anything to solve their problems. They see themselves as victims of unfair circumstances and wait passively for someone or something to fix them.

-[H]ealthy acceptance you acknowledge that you have many shortcomings, but you refuse to write yourself off and you maintain a spirit of self-respect.

-I won’t have to get so defensive when I’m criticized because my self-esteem won’t be on the line.

-Most people procrastinate because that is precisely what they want to be doing. Procrastination is a choice you make, and you make this choice knowingly and intentionally. But you may want to keep your motives hidden, so you can act helpless, as if procrastination were some type of illness or disability, like the flu or a broken leg.

[Suzanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you read Feeling Good Together, do not buy this book.

There are the same exercises repeating on many pages, just not worth the money.

More interesting exercises you can find online, or the book I advise is
Diane Heller "The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships" has many simple interesting exercises.

[Reema · Rating 3 out of 5]

With a fair amount of tweaking the tools in this book have the potential to be helpful. But the examples are so droll. The case studies are so limited in demographic representation.

The writing is often condescending.

[Juliette McBain · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing in this book that wasn’t explored in Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy, but always good to refresh CBT skills. My mood scores also didn’t change after reading it which isn’t great but the cognitive distortions list was hugely helpful.

[Pooya Saniei · Rating 4 out of 5]

مناسب برای خودشناسی و رهایی از احساس شکست و عدم ارزشمندی

[Zeppo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think it had some grand tips.

I was tempted to not even write this review but then I am reminded of what Burns himself said about the need to get things down on paper to really consolidate that information so I am trying to do that myself.

Here the distortions he mentions:

1. All or nothing thinking
2. overgeneralization
3. mental filter
4. discounting the positive
5. jumping to conclusions
6. magnification or minimization
7. emotional reasoning
8. 'should' statements
9. labeling
10. blame

And the main way to help is to write negative thoughts down, analyse the distortions and then write down a more positive way to look at things.

You can also look at emotional cost benefit analysis to see some hidden benefits of thinking traps like 'I'm a total loser!' etc...

One technique I haven't tried yet is the 'externalization of voices'. For example, making a list of negative thoughts, telling partner to read thoughts using 'I' and then talk to partner the same way you would an upset friend. I also haven't tried talking to myself in the mirror for that matter.

One thing I also need to do more of is the pleasure predicting sheet which is writing down activities and deciding how much pleasure I think it will give me and then comparing that with reality. Often I talk myself out of stuff because I am 'not in the mood' but do I enjoy my time on YouTube really? The pleasure predicting sheet can help with this.

Another thing I need to practice in unconditional self-esteem with language like, 'I will always know I am worthwhile even if I am having a tough time.'

'I will feel equal to other people - never superior or inferior. This will make my relationships more rewarding.'

Forget about worth! Good quote: aim for satisfaction, pleasure, learning, mastery, personal growth, communication with others every day of your life.'

'There is only one way you can lose a sense of self-worth - by persecuting yourself with unreasonable illogical negative thoughts.'

He also has the ironically mentioned TIC TOC concept to deal with procrastination. TIC = task interfering condition and TOC is 'task orienting cognition.' He recommends writing down the distortions for the TICs to help you to the TOCs.

This book has helped me but I will need to read it again and keep writing down my thoughts and analysing them.

Will probably save money on therapy even though hearing some feedback from another human can be soothing in a way that a book cannot as you always wonder whether you are just deluding yourself somehow with either positive or negative thoughts.

[Gergana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I still have 2 chapters left but I already want to review this one. After reading 42 self-care books, this is the only one I'd wholeheartedly recommend. It's not only about self-esteem, it deals directly with processing negative emotions and beliefs, each chapter has several exercises which are extremely useful and easy to practice in everyday life. I admit following the events of early 2020 I've struggled with depressive and anxious thoughts almost on a daily basis and I looked for various sources of comfort and clarity, so this book might have been the cherry on top. Still, I think that starting from it would significantly decrease the time for getting out of the state of being stuck - no matter the nature of the negative feelings, because this book addresses them all. It's a guide on how to confront yourself and dare to "not believe everything you think [or feel for that matter]".

[Kārlis Bergmanis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a toolbox. Take it. Don't just read it, work with it - do exercises, write things down, scribble and go for long walks if needed to overthink.
For me it was right book at the right time.
There are lot of real world examples that will make you feel relief, as you are not the only one with issue x, and lot of steps to deal with everything. I think that most valuable for me was Thought Distortion checklist - if you know where to look, it's much harder to miss distorted thoughts.

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is a great resource...for yourself or clients if you are a therapist. it was annoying how he kept like yelling at me to do the exercises "are you writing this down? you have to write it down for it to work. I know you're not writing...I'll wait" hey...back off mister. but other than that it had lots of helpful exercises and techniques.

[Faezeh Sharifian · Rating 4 out of 5]

عزت نفس ریشه اعتماد به نفس و داربست اصلی ارتباط سالم با خود و دیگران است. آن که خود را عزیز بداند، به خود احترام بگذارد، از هر آن چه موجب خواری است می گریزد و به نیکی و سلامت می گراید. عزت نفس سبب خود دوستی و دیگر دوستی و زمینه ضروری رضامندی و خرسندی است.

[Matthew Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

It wasn't 10 days; it was a month. Completing each section took a very long time for me. I didn't actually find this book useful. It is full of outdated analogies and really old terminology. I can see this being useful to some people; but not for me.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was way more than 10 days. A lot of homework and other books, however, David Burns has helped me out so many times. I reread his books to get back on track, he knows what he is talking about and this stuff helps a lot.

[Anastasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This workbook is a good supplement to the other book by Dr. Burns titled Feeling Good. I would recommend making copies of the pages where you are asked to do the exercises and keep them on hand so that you can do them again throughout your self-development process.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of CBT-esque materials with some DBT related information on emotions. I don’t like the idea of an anxiety and depression rating scale every day for 10 days, but definitely pulling a few pages for resources for clients!