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Making Judgments Without Being Judgmental: Nurturing a Clear Mind and a Generous Heart
We have all felt at times that someone was unfairly judging us. Occasionally, we wonder if we have unfairly judged others. Perhaps we've even been accused of doing just that. We know the Bible speaks about making judgments, but what does it mean and how does it apply? Counselor and teacher Terry Cooper helps us distinguish between a faithful discernment of right and wrong, truth and falsehood while avoiding being judgmental. He also helps us better deal with others who are judgmental toward us and with our own self-condemnation.A wise and practical guide for sorting through the issues and for dealing well with others in situations where conviction and compassion matter.
139 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 21, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 9, 2018
After living in the neighborhood for almost nine years, we finally got around to going out to dinner with some neighbors of ours. We often chatted in the street and we found our conversations were getting longer. After the first dinner at a local BBQ, we discovered we really enjoyed each others' company. They are amazing people who have lived a full life. The conversation turned to religion in light of my wife and I have been going through for several years. It was really comforting and refreshing to hear from close friends who have a different perspective. Then, about a month ago (November 2018), we got together again for another dinner. The conversation wasn't as heavy, but still very enjoyable. Inevitably, the conversation shifted to religion and judgementalism. That is when they suggested I read this book by Terry Cooper.
They let me borrow it and for about two weeks, it sat on my desk. I finally decided to commit to reading it and at least be able to say I read it and thank him for letting me borrow it. Little did I know how much it would open my aperture. The book gave me a lot to think about in a very organized manner. I felt my perspective on life begin to shift: from that of dividing people into right vs wrong; left vs right; religious vs atheist to a world-view perspective to that of a journey of discovery of people and giving myself and others space to be who God intended them to be.
The two parts that really stood out to me were:
1) Authoritative Judgments vs. Authoritarian Judgmentalism
2) The section on grace and a building a community of grace
Living in a Type A community, religion and work environment, I encounter many people very sure in their convictions. The markers of "judgementalism" that the author noted were mind-blowing. He described many qualities of people I've encountered many times. I also learned I exhibit many of these same qualities. Subsequently, his advice for how to work people who see the world this way (including myself), was very helpful. I realized I had already reach some of the conclusions and suggestions he offered.
And then on the topic of grace ... I realized the definition of grace that I was raised on and taught about, was very different than how the author described it. The longer I live, the more strongly I find myself falling in line with author's view on grace. To describe these two perspectives, I will be a little flippant and exaggerate a bit.
View 1; which I was taught to believe: grace = "you're lucky to be alive and you owe God everything. If you don't do enough, and complete this list of things, you will fall short and won't return to Heaven. Grace means, God at least gives you a chance, but the rest is up to you."
View 2; which the author explained, and how I'm beginning to view grace: an invitation to confess our inabilities; to open ourselves to a love that is freely given; accept the grace of God, stand still, take it in, be grateful for this space God has given us to experience life, to do our best to live morally and to help others.
The whole books is really fantastic and there is a lot to think about and unpack. There were several parts where I read it over and over again and it really gave me a lot to consider and think about.
I'm sure my neighbor and I will have a lot to talk about when I return the book to him. I'm also sure that I'll be buying my own copy of this book and read it again - this time with highlighter and pen in hand!
They let me borrow it and for about two weeks, it sat on my desk. I finally decided to commit to reading it and at least be able to say I read it and thank him for letting me borrow it. Little did I know how much it would open my aperture. The book gave me a lot to think about in a very organized manner. I felt my perspective on life begin to shift: from that of dividing people into right vs wrong; left vs right; religious vs atheist to a world-view perspective to that of a journey of discovery of people and giving myself and others space to be who God intended them to be.
The two parts that really stood out to me were:
1) Authoritative Judgments vs. Authoritarian Judgmentalism
2) The section on grace and a building a community of grace
Living in a Type A community, religion and work environment, I encounter many people very sure in their convictions. The markers of "judgementalism" that the author noted were mind-blowing. He described many qualities of people I've encountered many times. I also learned I exhibit many of these same qualities. Subsequently, his advice for how to work people who see the world this way (including myself), was very helpful. I realized I had already reach some of the conclusions and suggestions he offered.
And then on the topic of grace ... I realized the definition of grace that I was raised on and taught about, was very different than how the author described it. The longer I live, the more strongly I find myself falling in line with author's view on grace. To describe these two perspectives, I will be a little flippant and exaggerate a bit.
View 1; which I was taught to believe: grace = "you're lucky to be alive and you owe God everything. If you don't do enough, and complete this list of things, you will fall short and won't return to Heaven. Grace means, God at least gives you a chance, but the rest is up to you."
View 2; which the author explained, and how I'm beginning to view grace: an invitation to confess our inabilities; to open ourselves to a love that is freely given; accept the grace of God, stand still, take it in, be grateful for this space God has given us to experience life, to do our best to live morally and to help others.
The whole books is really fantastic and there is a lot to think about and unpack. There were several parts where I read it over and over again and it really gave me a lot to consider and think about.
I'm sure my neighbor and I will have a lot to talk about when I return the book to him. I'm also sure that I'll be buying my own copy of this book and read it again - this time with highlighter and pen in hand!
January 15, 2013
I think this book started out really great. Terry had some great points, but as the book went on it was almost like he ran out of things to talk about. The ending was not the greatest but I really enjoyed the begining.
November 30, 2013
Cooper nailed it!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews