What to Do When You're Having Two: The Twins Survival Guide from Pregnancy Through the First Year

by Natalie Diaz

Revised and updated in 2020The creator of Twiniversity delivers an essential update to her must-have manual to having twins, now with expanded info on twin pregnancy and tandem breastfeeding, and advice on the best gear to help save your sanity. With almost two times as many sets of twins today as there were forty years ago, What to Do When You're Having Two has quickly become the definitive resource for expectant and new parents of multiples.A mom of fraternal twins and a world-renowned expert on parenting multiples, author Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, the world's leading global resource for twin parenting information and support online. Now, with her expanded edition of What to Do, she includes new information on breastfeeding, gear, sleep, and having two when you already have one, as well    • creating your twin birth plan,    • maintaining a realistic sleep schedule,    • managing tandem breastfeeding,    • stocking up on what you'll need (and knowing what high-tech products are now available and what's a waste of money), and    • building a special bond with each of your twins. Accessible, informative, and humorous, What to Do When You're Having Two is the must-have manual for every parent of twins.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens, Audiobook

336 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 3, 2013

About the author

Founder of the Twiniversity website and director of the Manhattan Twins Club, Natalie Diaz has been featured widely in the media. She lives in New York City with her husband and their thirteen-year-old fraternal twins.

Reviews

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not very impressed with this read. Be aware that this book is completely a personal account (no one with a medical background or professional license in the area of prenatal pregnancy was part of the authoring of this book). I am still pregnant with my twins but I have older children and I found many of the author's recommendations over the top and unnecessary. Read: When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, and Quads OR Mothering Multiples (by LaLeche League) if you are looking for some supported and proven guidelines for a healthy pregnancy and help with breastfeeding.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is all about having Twins unlike many pregnancy books which only singleton parents can relate to. I liked how the book was straightforward, though it could be blunt and serious about complications and NICU time, it was very informational.
The book also gave you many great tips on items to buy or things to have/get done to make your life a bit easier with twins.
It put me at ease knowing it is possible to survive a life with twins though it won’t be easy.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I thought this was a really good twin advice book - not too long, but covered all the important topics. A few comments:
- Would be good to have a regularly updated version (hard, I know) because this is already 5 years old and some bits were outdated.
- Some of the Breastfeeding advice wasn’t exactly on point/evidence-based. Maybe having an LC look over that section?
- It is a shame that this entire book is written talking to the mother! It doesn’t indicate that anywhere on the front of back cover, but it all assumes the reader is the wife, not the husband. I thought there was a lot of great content in there my husband could benefit from, too, but it kept assuming the readers spouse was male.

[Nadine Lacroix · Rating 2 out of 5]

Would be a good book if you never had kids before and lived in the USA.

Since i had a kid before a lot of chapters were nothing new to me so not very interesting and the chapters specifically on twins were rare, i could have just googled it.

Lots of references to organisations, shops, etc in the USA so basically a niche book: for first time parents living in the USA!

[Lauren Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, this stressed me out :) but also the truth hurts? 🌪️🌪️

[Jeremy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I dunno if it was good or not given that my twins are not here yet. But if you can stomach some cringey millennial humor, it's a good primer for a first time parent.

If you are a socialist heathen from across the pond this book does not apply to you. Please do not come into my comments and brag about your year of paid leave or your free healthcare or how the advice for investing in ammunition for your twins does not apply to you. My forefathers fought and died for the right for me to pay 4000 dollars a month for someone else to raise my kids in a perpetual active shooting scenario while I work a demeaning and dead end job, and I will never vote to change that!

[Sara Liebman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the writer makes a lot of assumptions in the early part of the book, or else she was trying to be funny and the humor fell flat. Also, if you don't know about labor and delivery, you shouldn't rely on this book for extensive information. What was helpful, however, was the chapter about what you need to buy two of and what you can get away with one of. I also felt the repeated mentions of her website was a little much by the end.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful hints and tips, as well as a good overview of the Science. However, the specifics were far too Americanised to be particularly significant to the British reader. Whilst much of the content didn’t apply to how we wish to raise our children.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first pregnancy, I just happened to hit the "jackpot" with twins haha. I appreciated all of the pregnancy advice with specific reference to twin mothers, including how to handle possible C-sections and time in the NICU. But I really liked the chapters afterward on how to handle life with your newborn babies, including keeping a schedule and tandem breastfeeding. I thought it was very useful and I feel a little more prepared.

[Jessie Cummins · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first purchase of twin books, helpful with basics and it had great checklists. But it’s from a mom’s perspective who has launched “Twinversity”- not a medical perspective. A wonderful introduction and preparation for twin parents- but shouldn’t be your only read for the impending twin parent!

[Sarah Greene · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5
Pretty helpful, especially if a twin pregnancy is your first pregnancy. Mostly good stuff about multiple pregnancy in general and some good newborn advice

[Vanessa Marks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was super informative and I found myself constantly taking notes. I feel like I learned A LOT and will be referencing this book many times after my twins come. Thanks Natalie!

[Viola Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I skimmed a bunch as some of it was for first time moms (this is my fifth pregnancy, first twins) but the parts focused on the uniqueness of having two I definitely devoured and marked up. Thankful for this resource.

[Erin Newton · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's super hard to rate this book because my twins aren't here yet. It took me a very long time to finish reading this because certain sections/chapters were pretty overwhelming and I had to put the book down for days, weeks at a time. Despite my cowardice, I applaud Diaz for including the good, the bad, and the ugly. Regardless of how overwhelming certain passages were, I need to know this stuff. I'd actually like to read it a second time before the twins arrive. I really like that it's not a mammoth book that weighs 5 pounds. The content is manageable and she highlights what she learned as a twin mom and what she's learned from other twin parents since starting Twiniversity. This book will stay on my bookshelf for a long time.

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was super practical and efficient in getting me great information fast, without being too redundant. Like many books of its form though, I'm sure you have to recognize that Diaz' experience could be very different from your own, and it isn't a guaranteed fix for everything you will experience with twins.

I'm excited to see how much of it holds true for me!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful for a to be twin mom!!!

[KN · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are loads of books that help one guide through the uncertain, and often scary, nine months of pregnancy. However most of these books are focused on a single child pregnancy. For couples having a multiple pregnancy, i.e. twins, triplets or more(!), these nine months can be a harrowing period. Not only does one have to take additional care during these months of pregnancy, but life gets more chaotic after the angels are born. Mothers who have gone through the chaos that can accompany the first few months of a birth can attest to the fact that having twins can effectively stretch you even further for your time, money and effort in ensuring a smooth pregnancy and having healthy babies.

Thankfully there is a growing collection of books and other material targeted specifically for women with two or more buns in the oven. What to do when you're having two is one such book written by a mother of twins who has gone through this experience first-hand. The author is also the founder of Twiniversity, an online forum filled with resources for people interested in learning more about a twin pregnancy and how to go about it while still being level-headed.

The book is short and easy to read. Consisting of twelve chapters, each part of the book deals with a different area that would-be parents are likely to scratch their head about. Right from the initial shock of knowing that there are two babies (or more) on the way, to questions about affording to raise them, this book tackles it all. Not only does it talk about the pregnancy, but it also describes the initial months after delivery that are bound to be most chaotic, especially in a twin delivery. As it should be, the author does not shy away from including the bad with the good and makes her point clear on how a twin pregnancy can potentially have higher risks than a singleton pregnancy.

What I liked about the book is that there is loads of actionable advice that will help calm the nerves of couple with a twin pregnancy. Especially if you live in the "western world", the author reveals loads of ways that you can utilise to reduce the financial burden on raising more than one child simultaneously. I, for one, did not realise there are special support groups in bigger cities that are targeted at helping women with twin pregnancies cope with the emotional upheaval during such a time. There was even a section on how a C-section and a vaginal delivery takes place. This would be quite enlightening for first time parents.

The author also gives impeccable advice regarding the first few days after delivery, of observing the nurses and other hospital staff on how they handle your baby, in order to learn the right way to do it once you're home and without any expert help around all the time. Yes, once you reach home, you will have only your spouse, family and friends to help you get through the initial amorphous mess that will be now your life for a few months. The author also discusses a few points on dealing with your children's sleeping and eating patterns and keeping your sanity intact while doing so.

On the flip side, I felt that the book did not give sufficient focus on the pregnancy itself. Except for a couple of chapters, the book focused on similar tips and techniques that would be valid for a single pregnancy as well. This delicate phase of carrying two babies in your womb and how to ensure a healthy complication-free pregnancy could have been explained in more detail.

This book definitely should not be the only book that you read about bringing your child in this world. There are other books out there that are more detailed and useful in that aspect. But this book does give a good overview of what to expect when you're expecting twice. Combine this book with other books that are well known and researched so that you're fully prepared as you move towards this exciting phase in your life.

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Read more of my reviews at Few Pages More

[Maria Shuffit · Rating 4 out of 5]

When my husband and I found out we were having twins, one of the very first things that I did was order books from the library, including this one! Of the ones I read, I found this one to be the most helpful. There is a lot of practical and useful advice here, and after reading it, I felt much more calm and prepared for this special challenge. I especially appreciated some of the very specific recommendations, like what kind of strollers are best for different needs, naming specific brands and models.

However, in some ways, that is also the downside of the book: some of the information is going to become outdated very quickly. The other less-than-great thing was the incessant pushing of the Twiniversity website, especially talking up the forums. I have signed up for them and visited them and found them unfortunately very lacking, and the Twiniversity website wasn't as packed full of helpful information as I thought it would be based on the constant assurances of this book.

My more personal view on how this book was sometimes less than helpful was that it goes on the assumption that twins are the reader's first pregnancy. In my case, I have a toddler and was anxious to find out ways to juggle taking care of another child along with new twins, and there wasn't really much of anything helpful with that. However, this would not affect every reader, this was just something that seemed lacking for me.

Overall, of the three twin pregnancy and parent books I've read so far, this one is by far the best. I would warn readers that it doesn't candy coat some of the concerns that twin pregnancies will face: it gave me the impression, for example, that bed rest is basically inevitable, and other such darker concerns. But as someone who appreciates being told upfront about things to watch out for and be prepared for, I actually liked this about this book.

I would recommend this book for anyone expecting twins!

[Rafeef · Rating 4 out of 5]

كنت أقرأ هذا الكتاب، ووافاني المخاض في نصفه الثاني حيث بعثر أفكاره وشتّت كل ما استفدته منه، ولله في ذلك حكمة. أكثر جزئية قرأتها على عجل -عمدًا- هي جزئية احتمالية مكوث التوأم في العناية المركزة لحديثي الولادة، ربما لأنني كنت أعيش حينئذ مرحلة الإنكار وذلك لعدم تقبّلي بتاتًا لفكرة العودة لمنزلي الدافئ وترك صغاري بين أجهزة المستشفى المزعجة وإجراءاته المؤلمة .. واليوم طفلي الأول يكمل شهره الثاني هناك، وقلبي كذلك. أما طفلي الآخر فيكمل بإذن ربه يومه الخامس والخمسين في حواصل طير خضر تسرح في رياض الجنة. والحمد لله الذي يعطي الخير ويمنع لخير.
أنصح بقراءته تحديدًا للأم المستقبلية التي يندر في عائلتها أو صداقاتها وجود التوأم حيث تحتاج إلى من يرشدها لبعض الأمور المتوقعة والتي عادةً ما تكون أصعب بمراحل عديدة من حمل / ولادة / تربية الطفل الواحد. مع الأخذ بعين الاعتبار الفروقات المجتمعيّة الواسعة ما بيننا وبين الظروف والبيئة الغربية للكاتبة. ومن هذا المنطلق أدعو أمهات وآباء التوائم للمبادرة بخوض غمار كتابة تجاربهم في هذا الخصوص لندرة وافتقار المحتوى العربي لذلك، لعلها تكون باكورة الإنتاج العربي المتبوعة بمغانم كثيرة.

[Symbra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't feel like I gained much from this book except a few helpful tidbits. I personally have been doing a lot of research now that I'm pregnant with twins so maybe I'm not being entirely fair, but I just didn't get a lot of good advice.
It seems geared more towards both parents working, there was not a lot of info on breastfeeding, and the info on sleep was only pro sleep training.
There is so much information on the downsides of sleep training and on how it can damage babies and the way the author refers to those that choose not to sleep train felt very dismissive. She made it seem like if one chooses to not sleep train then their children will never learn to sleep and that's just not factually accurate.
On top of that one would think that by now there would have been an updated version of the book, there is just a lot of outdated information. Not to mention a lot of her "this is the best item ever" are things like 900$ strollers which is impossible for a lot of ppl to afford.

[Dara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Only get this if twins will be your first kids. The book tries to be two things at once: a general parenting guide for first-time parents AND a guide for twins, and I think the balance is far too much on the first. I already have a toddler, so I don't need super basic discussions of what furniture you need in a nursery. I want to know about what is different about a twin pregnancy. Every once in a while the author has those kinds of tidbits - for example, that even if you have a vaginal birth with twins, you'll likely have to deliver in an OR in case they have to do a c-section for the second baby - but those are few and far between. If you have a child already, there's almost nothing here that is new, and the really concrete things like stroller recommendations are available for free on the website.

[Hayley Gardner-Spafford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book moderately informative and a few chapters very helpful. However, it does seem to be written as if twins are your first children, and since this is not the case for me, a lot of this information was redundant. And I did find myself asking “okay but what about my other child” a lot.

I wanted this book to be some sort of cheat code for me - laying out exactly how to handle having twins with a ton of detail - but it was more an overview than I was looking for. To be fair, I think that was a lot to ask of one book. There was one chapter that broke down a typical day with twins, and I do think I will use this as a guide.

This book definitely was not boring and there were bits of some necessary brutal honesty, and I ultimately feel more prepared for what’s ahead after having finished.

[Lindsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a lot of things in this book I hadn't thought of before, and when I first picked it up, I felt relieved to have a resource to turn to for specific twin support. After a while, I did get irritated by how by the book Diaz is in her recommendations, though this may not put off many parents. (I prefer to know the reasons behind advice, and I intend to make decisions with my OB/pediatrician, not to have them make decisions for me, but this is a personal choice, and you might be different, and that's okay!)

The personality of the book is very friendly, down to earth, and not hiding anything about the twin pregnancy, birth, and child rearing experience, which I really appreciate. I'd recommend giving this a read if you're not sure where to start with having twins.

[Kristen EJ Lauderdale · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very helpful to me before the twins were born. I re-read it to find her twin schedule samples due to adjustment shock with the twins. This book kind of suffers a similar problem to most parenting books that try to cover safety and medical topics: the info gets super outdated or maybe even was inaccurate or controversial to begin with. One example is when she basically says "Just have your twins share a crib." This nugget would not have flown with reassuring the NICU and pediatrician that we were ready to take our children home. There were a few similar scenarios, where instead of consulting with experts, she would just generalize what other twin parents she knew claimed, which could give a kind of skewed picture of what you're actually recommended to do.

[Kaitlyn Bender · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read. Some good nuggets of info, but also some parts that were hard to read and caused anxiety. In some ways it’s reassuring to read someone’s personal account and to see how similar caring for twins is to caring for a single baby. However, the author does make a point of sharing the challenges and just how hard it will be at times. As someone who had already been through the baby phase twice and has a strong support system, I was able to accept the hard truths. However, if you’re someone without support or the financial means to pay for support, I don’t know that this book is for you. The examples are all related to a male/female married couple, so keep that in mind as well depending on your situation.

[Kaitlyn Filzer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's just okay. I wish there were more and better resources available for multiples parents. Some helpful ideas, but some of the information is pretty outdated/contradicted by current medical guidance, so definitely don't make this your only resource. I've found reading up on Twin Parent Reddit boards and the like more useful to get a range of perspectives from twin parents based on their experiences.

A few pretty cringey moments that made me wonder how the publisher let that slide through.. ie, she discusses pros and cons of differing childcare options, but includes an excerpt from a mother stating that she decided to stay home because the extra income wasn't worth it to utilize daycare and have someone else "raising her children." Yikes.

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of the twin books I’ve read so far, this book provided the most thorough explanation of day to day life with twins after their birth. I am not a first time mom, so I did find some information a bit repetitive or not particularly exclusive to twins; however, the majority of the book provided helpful tips for day to day life leading up to and after delivery. Some of the opinions expressed in this book were just that—opinions, so they were taken with a grain of salt, but they were worth sifting through for the practical knowledge gained through this book. Also, I do feel like there should be an updated version. Some of the information was outdated.

[Sara Fuller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I’m glad I read this book in preparation for my twins’ arrival. It had some good overviews and was a fairly quick read.

However, it is definitely a little outdated. It is hard to keep up with changing products on the market and rising costs of raising children, so I would definitely recommend finding additional resources instead of relying on the suggestions made in the book. Same goes for sleep training and breastfeeding information. No major complaints, I would just make sure you are gathering information from multiple resources instead of just this one so you are making decisions based on the most updated research out there.

Still a worthwhile read if you find time to do so.

[Mandi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Only read this if your twins are your first. I have an older son and I feel like I already knew a lot of what was in this book. Some stuff was informational but not groundbreaking about twins. I bought and started this book while I was pregnant with my twins but then didn’t want to get in my head about everything and be more stressed so I stopped reading it. I just got around to finishing it and my twins will be 1 in just four short days. I didn’t really find much info in here that I hadn’t already learned from my previous son or from my twins doctors. I don’t think that even if I had finished it while still pregnant with my twins that I would have been impressed.

[Olivia Branch · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall, I suppose reading this book was a net positive. I did glean some useful ideas and information. However, this book was written with the assumption that your twins are also your introduction to parenthood. Much of the advice seemed unusable if you already have a child/children at home. I’d also say a good 80% of the book was advice for new parents in general, not twin-specific. Did I need a paragraph explaining that girls need to be wiped from front to back? No. There were some good ideas for feeding, sleep training, and travel, but it didn’t show up until the last few chapters and there are probably better resources out there for this type of information.