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Time Gentlemen
"When two deadbeat brothers accidentally steal a time machine, the consequences have already happened. Or will happen. Or will have been happening. Look, just read the book will you? It'll be easier on the both of us. I'm going for a lie down." A time travel comedy featuring inept private detectives Jack and Joe, Time Gentlemen follows the exploits of our heroes as they travel back and forth through time and inadvertently save the human race. Along the way they get themselves in trouble with the police, prevent the assassination of a world leader, discover a virtual world, make a robotic enemy, rescue a naked woman, make a rival detective envious and track down a missing cat. And all the while people keep trying to kill 'em! And best of all there are no loose ends! Probably*. This is Craig P. Kelly's first novel. He thought it was a good idea at the time. *Absence of loose ends is not guaranteed.
280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 27, 2011
1 person is currently reading
19 people want to read
About the author
Craig P. Kelly
5 books11 followersCraig P. Kelly has written three comedy time travel novels but lives in the hope that his future self will send him some more. He has also strayed into the realms of space opera - his latest book is Darkness of the Void, an epic space adventure.
Craig is currently employed as a 'man of leisure'. This is more time consuming than you might imagine, but he tries to find the opportunity to 'do some writing' in and amongst the many spurious activities that sap away the day.
Craig can be coaxed out of the house with the promise of a geocache and will, when pressed, dabble in amateur theatre. He also occasionally chases a spherical piece of leather around in the name of keep-fit. Sometimes he isn't injured. But not often.
Craig is from the north of England but is currently living in Abu Dhabi.
You can support Craig by reviewing his books (please), liking him on Facebook (www.facebook.com/craigpkelly) or following him on Twitter (@CraigPKelly). Ideally you can do all three - that'd really make his day. You can visit his website at www.craigpkelly.co.uk which he may or may not have updated recently.
Craig is currently employed as a 'man of leisure'. This is more time consuming than you might imagine, but he tries to find the opportunity to 'do some writing' in and amongst the many spurious activities that sap away the day.
Craig can be coaxed out of the house with the promise of a geocache and will, when pressed, dabble in amateur theatre. He also occasionally chases a spherical piece of leather around in the name of keep-fit. Sometimes he isn't injured. But not often.
Craig is from the north of England but is currently living in Abu Dhabi.
You can support Craig by reviewing his books (please), liking him on Facebook (www.facebook.com/craigpkelly) or following him on Twitter (@CraigPKelly). Ideally you can do all three - that'd really make his day. You can visit his website at www.craigpkelly.co.uk which he may or may not have updated recently.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
August 7, 2014
A very funny time-travel romp. It made me laugh out loud several time. Flowing and witty prose and well edited.
September 17, 2017
Confusing at first, well throughout really, but very funny
December 5, 2012
The elevator pitch for this might read something like ‘Bill And Ted meets Only Fools And Horses’. But to use an elevator pitch would be to suggest this madcamp romp travels only in the vertical. Whereas it loops and spirals and tangles like a ball of wool batted around by the cat that makes its appearance somewhere in the middle of proceedings.
The cat, to be fair, is a minor feature, but in reading you tend to want to take note of every little plot point because the author has woven (presumably with all that leftover wool) a temporal tapestry like a cross between the Bayeux and an Escher print.
But even if all that wool’s been used up, it’s not as though you’ll need it to navigate your way through the labyrinth. In some respects, it’s as simple as it is clever, with its helpfully straightforward delivery and an often conversational narrative and, like the famous Doctor Who scarf, follows a clear pattern. (And the Doctor Who influence is clear in the choice of time-travel vehicle - a grandfather clock, with an amusing cut-down version of the bigger-on-the-inside aspects of the TARDIS.) Sure, there are points where you wonder how the heck the author is going to bring the diverse elements together, but you’re never lost.
The pattern also happens to be the story’s key enemy: although it has the pace of a rollercoaster, it does tend to run fairly rampantly from chase to chase, with very little time for moments of suspense or anticipation. The velocity leads to a smattering of typo-like bumps on the track, but those are forgivable. What you get is a swift read, which is no bad thing, but with some sections that whiz by in a blur. Entertaining at the time, but ultimately remembered as lots of the same. Hence, 3 stars, although its unfailing sense of humour steers it more towards 3.5.
Fast and fun are the order of the day. While the ‘gentlemen’ of the title come with hints of Del Boy and Rodney, the tale has shades of Dirk Gently – although it’s less a Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul, more a Quick Light Flame-Grilled Whopper Of The Brain. With a colourful collection of crooks, swords and sorcerers, robots and rascals, private dicks and temporal tricks, the author keeps you guessing as to how he’s going to tie it all together.
Indeed, he quite unashamedly doesn’t. But I don’t want to say too much about the loose threads as the author makes a great play on them. He’s plainly the sort who takes great pleasure in leaving things dangling, but as long as he does it in the privacy of his own book, that’s okay.
It’s true, I do have to fulfil the time-honoured role, at the close of many a detective mystery, of the person who says, “But there’s still one thing I don’t understand.” But, like a certain class of super-organised person on or around the 15th December, everything important is successfully wrapped up. And there is plenty in this rollicking adventure to fuel a sequel.
Time has been called. We just have to wait for the pub doors to open again.
SAF
The cat, to be fair, is a minor feature, but in reading you tend to want to take note of every little plot point because the author has woven (presumably with all that leftover wool) a temporal tapestry like a cross between the Bayeux and an Escher print.
But even if all that wool’s been used up, it’s not as though you’ll need it to navigate your way through the labyrinth. In some respects, it’s as simple as it is clever, with its helpfully straightforward delivery and an often conversational narrative and, like the famous Doctor Who scarf, follows a clear pattern. (And the Doctor Who influence is clear in the choice of time-travel vehicle - a grandfather clock, with an amusing cut-down version of the bigger-on-the-inside aspects of the TARDIS.) Sure, there are points where you wonder how the heck the author is going to bring the diverse elements together, but you’re never lost.
The pattern also happens to be the story’s key enemy: although it has the pace of a rollercoaster, it does tend to run fairly rampantly from chase to chase, with very little time for moments of suspense or anticipation. The velocity leads to a smattering of typo-like bumps on the track, but those are forgivable. What you get is a swift read, which is no bad thing, but with some sections that whiz by in a blur. Entertaining at the time, but ultimately remembered as lots of the same. Hence, 3 stars, although its unfailing sense of humour steers it more towards 3.5.
Fast and fun are the order of the day. While the ‘gentlemen’ of the title come with hints of Del Boy and Rodney, the tale has shades of Dirk Gently – although it’s less a Long Dark Tea Time Of The Soul, more a Quick Light Flame-Grilled Whopper Of The Brain. With a colourful collection of crooks, swords and sorcerers, robots and rascals, private dicks and temporal tricks, the author keeps you guessing as to how he’s going to tie it all together.
Indeed, he quite unashamedly doesn’t. But I don’t want to say too much about the loose threads as the author makes a great play on them. He’s plainly the sort who takes great pleasure in leaving things dangling, but as long as he does it in the privacy of his own book, that’s okay.
It’s true, I do have to fulfil the time-honoured role, at the close of many a detective mystery, of the person who says, “But there’s still one thing I don’t understand.” But, like a certain class of super-organised person on or around the 15th December, everything important is successfully wrapped up. And there is plenty in this rollicking adventure to fuel a sequel.
Time has been called. We just have to wait for the pub doors to open again.
SAF
March 2, 2012
Often very delightful and frequently outright hilarious. (I laughed out loud several times, and that sort of thing just doesn't happen to me.)
The book is full of wonderful turns-of-phrases and word-plays, which are hilarious. I don't think I'll ever forget the passage about the one brother catching a clock pendulum "like a gentleman", for instance.
The best part? Unlike so many others who try writing humor only to turn out prose which is strained and awkward, Mr. Kelly's writing feels effortless and smoothly funny. (Sure, I MAY have rolled my eyes at one or two jokes, but I still enjoyed those laughs too, despite myself.)
Is "Time Gentlemen" without flaws? No. But it's a great first novel and I can't wait to see what else Mr. Kelly has for us. So, go on! Read it! It's fun.
The book is full of wonderful turns-of-phrases and word-plays, which are hilarious. I don't think I'll ever forget the passage about the one brother catching a clock pendulum "like a gentleman", for instance.
The best part? Unlike so many others who try writing humor only to turn out prose which is strained and awkward, Mr. Kelly's writing feels effortless and smoothly funny. (Sure, I MAY have rolled my eyes at one or two jokes, but I still enjoyed those laughs too, despite myself.)
Is "Time Gentlemen" without flaws? No. But it's a great first novel and I can't wait to see what else Mr. Kelly has for us. So, go on! Read it! It's fun.
September 21, 2014
Excellent use of time travel taking a couple of feckless, dodgy detectives on a romp through time, space, and public decency!
July 19, 2016
A fun rollercoaster of a read, with plenty of twists and turns to keep you on your toes and a sizeable helping of adult humour.
Very reminiscent of Robert Rankin's Brentford books in many ways
Very reminiscent of Robert Rankin's Brentford books in many ways
February 3, 2017
Wibbly wobbly and indeed timey wimey
A time travel romp featuring some of the least competent detectives in the history of comedy fiction.
I will be looking for the sequel.
A time travel romp featuring some of the least competent detectives in the history of comedy fiction.
I will be looking for the sequel.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews