On Their Own: What Happens To Kids When They Age Out Of The Foster Care System

by Martha Shirk, Gary Stangler

Each year, as many as 25,000 teenagers "age out" of foster care, usually when they turn eighteen. For years, a government agency had made every important decision for them. Suddenly, they are on their own, with no one to count on. What does it mean to be eighteen and on your own, without the family support and personal connections that most young people rely on? For many youth raised in foster care, it means largely unhappy endings, including sudden homelessness, unemployment, dead-end jobs, loneliness, and despair. On Their Own tells the compelling stories of ten young people whose lives are full of promise, but who face economic and social barriers stemming from the disruptions of foster care. This book calls for action to provide youth in foster care the same opportunities on the road to adulthood that most of our youth take for granted-access to higher education, vocational training, medical care, housing, and relationships within their communities. On Their Own is meant to serve as a clarion call not only to policymakers, but to all Americans who care about the futures of our young people.

Genres: Nonfiction, Fostering, Social Work, Social Justice, Adoption, Parenting, Sociology

320 pages, Hardcover

First published August 7, 2004

Reviews

[Rachel B · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book about "aging out" of foster care (reaching the age of majority and leaving the program by default). A new favorite!

Each chapter goes into a lot of detail about one former foster child - what landed them in care, what their home or institutional placements were like, the financial situation they were in when they turned 18, what kinds of transition programs were available, etc. A variety of unique challenges were covered in the eight profiles, and common threads in their stories were uncovered, as well.

This was published in 2004, and I'd be curious to see what, if any, changes have been made since to the foster care systems of the states covered here. I'd especially love to see updated numbers on the cost of care (for a family foster home versus a group home versus an institution, etc.). Not to mention the cost of care in contrast to the cost of prevention strategies (supporting families in various ways so things don't go so far as the removal of a child from a home). But that's a different book, I realize!

There is a great balance between narrative and statistics here that makes this an excellent introduction to the subject for the uninformed. This was a thorough book, and very thought-provoking - even for someone like myself, who has read and thought about the subject before.

I really appreciated that there were some practical ideas in the conclusion for getting involved, and a huge list of the organizations (with contact information) mentioned throughout the book.

I highly recommend it!

[Chade66 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew the foster care system was a mess,this book appalled me at the (I can't even find the right word)inability of the system to manage even the simplest tasks. I would hope that in my daughter's lifetime, this current system will be treated as a vile part of our past, buried along side of the way that the mentally ill were treated in the 1800s.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let me first say that I am a bleeding-heart liberal. This book about the challenges foster kids face when they turn 18 and are suddenly on their own should have made me weep and rage and want to take action. But instead I felt relieved: there are a surprising number of programs available for kids without families who aren't ready to be entirely on their own by 18. And I wonder what the point of the book was.

The first case study details the lives of three brothers, each born a year apart, taken into foster care at the same time, placed in the same foster homes together, and eventually (before they were teens) placed in the same group home. Two of the brothers ran away from the group home and started selling drugs in their early teens. One is now dead and the other is serving a long prison term for armed robbery. The third brother did not run away, followed the rules, and took advantage of every program and grant that his state's foster care system could offer. He graduated from college, got married, got a good job, and owns a home. So...how would offering more programs have better helped these kids (two of whom were in juvie before they could have benefited from the programs anyway)?

Each case study is similar. The kids who take advantage of the programs, obey the rules, and are self-motivated turn out okay. Those who lack motivation or who blame all their problems on the crappiness of their early life don't end up as okay. The book tried to get me to believe that these kids' future was in society's hands (which I was fully prepared to believe), but the examples given show that the kids themselves hold the key to their future. And honestly, if a kid, knowing full well that a particular shelter or group home is his or her last hope of avoiding living on a park bench, won't follow simple rules like "No loud music" or "No overnight guests", I don't feel so sorry for them when they end up living in the park.

Kudos to all those who have made the world an easier place for a post-foster-care kid to navigate. I imagine there was a time when things were much harder. But if these were the most bleeding-heart examples the author could find, it doesn't appear that any additional work needs to be done.

[Jennifer Hunsaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the last six months as we have become licensed foster parents, I have been struck more and more with the feeling that, at some point, I want to work with teenagers who are aging out of the system. For one, I like teenagers. For two, I hate the idea that once these kids turn 18 they're on their own and have to rely on the fringes of a fledgling system or the kindness of strangers. Once I started reading this book I realized how urgent that need truly is.

The reality of aging out of foster care is told through the eyes of 10 young people. There are a few success stories of resilience and a few heartbreaking tales of utter failure. If ever there was a book to move you to action, this is it.

[Bruce Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book begins with case studies that outline the difficulties encountered by individuals that age out of foster care as a result of being in the foster care system. The book ends with about one hundred pages of current policy and programs that are available throughout the U.S. I found this book informative and it doesn't read like a dissertation.

[Abby Schreiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book shares the stories of young adults who have aged out if the foster care system. Many of them face a harsh reality of no family, little education, no job, and no support. The last chapter details policy changes and programs that can better help youth in this situation. It's our job as a society to care for these, the most vulnerable among us.

[Allee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Props for a book that is 90% the voices and stories of those its seeking to elevate. Of course you could write an academic treatise on youth aging out of foster care with some anecdotes sprinkled in, or you could find a spectrum of youth who have grown up in the system and can speak to that experience. And they make mistakes, and the book doesn't judge them for that.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly think everyone who has any opinion on foster care, homelessness, mental illness, any of it, needs to read this book. Compelling case studies make it a very quick read on top of understanding our system with all the flaws.

[Kathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

very interesting - some sad but often really inspiring!

[CTEP]

When kids enter the foster care system, the state becomes their legal guardian. In most states, foster care ‘expires’ when young adults turn 18. This book describes the lives of ten youth as they leave foster care and make the transition to adulthood.

The stories are a good supplement to the statistics in the reports. Both On Their Own and the resources on the Jim Casey Youth website (www.jimcaseyyouth.org) emphasize the need for ongoing support and encouragement of youth during emancipation. Part of my job at the WorkForce Center will be working with a pilot program to prepare ten youth for work and life after foster care.

On Their Own presents successes and failures in real time and reads like a documentary film. It concludes with suggestions and resources for creating a supportive, encouraging environment for young adults. Because the stories deal with relationships, school, drugs, teen pregnancy, employment, juvenile detention, and other issues, I would suggest this book to any CTEP-ers working with disadvantaged youth.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reggie Kelsey’s story was particularly moving, I will never forget his name and what he went through. The amount of people that fall out of society and are treated poorly because of their disabilities is staggering.

[Laurel-Rain · Rating 5 out of 5]

When children spend most of their formative years in the foster care system, and then are turned out because they've reached the age of eighteen (or nineteen in some situations), the results can be devastating.

"On Their Own: What Happens to Kids When They Age Out of the Foster Care System" zeroes in on these issues in great detail, sharing facts, figures, and anecdotal stories of featured young people. How they came into the system, the experiences they had, and what happened to them during the transition out of care.

These stories were not new to me, having worked for many years in the system as a social worker; I could definitely connect with what happened to these young people, as I'd seen many of these events firsthand.

Throughout this chronicle, the authors talked about different programs that successfully helped young people transition, and also shared legislation that offers a hopeful future for children in this situation.

Most of us know from experience that children are not ready to be independent and fully functioning at eighteen, nineteen, or possibly even twenty-one. And when you factor in the scenarios experienced by children in care who are "protected" by law and not offered opportunities to experience independence, you compound the problem.

Budgetary constraints are often the obstacles that prevent more help for these children. Community support can turn these issues around when private agencies partner with governmental agencies.

The authors bring out some recent changes:

"The Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative is a national effort to help young people make successful transitions from foster care to adulthood. Formed by two of the nation's leading foundations focused exclusively on child and youth well-being, the Annie E. Casey Foundation and Casey Family Programs, the Initiative strives to bring together the people and resources to help young people make the connections they need to education, employment, health care, housing, and permanent, family-like relationships."

A probing, detailed illustrated journey that takes the reader right to the heart of the problem, I recommend this book to anyone who cares about the youth of our nation; especially those most vulnerable because of their life experiences. Five stars.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life-changing.
Not only is this book a call to action, but, whoa, it actually gives you tangible ways to act! This is so often left out. I hate finishing a book and wanting to act on what I learned, but not knowing how to, and having the feeling fizzle. (And knowing it happened to many others, too.)

The book details the lives of several kids who are in foster care, from explaining how their childhoods were messed up, to how the foster care system supported or failed them, to how the kids reacted to the help that was given. I think it did an excellent job explaining how complicated each individual situation is. You can give all the help in the world to someone who can't accept it, and it doesn't mean you wasted your time, but you can't control a person who has come from such a traumatic background in many cases. You have to let time pass for them to work it out. You can also give less support to someone more motivated and they may do better. The theme throughout the book is one of reality mixed with hope. It's a hard situation, but there is a lot we can do, and we learn from each child who goes through the system. To me, the takeaway was that these children require a lot of support, and while being a foster parent is a huge commitment, often the person who influenced and supported a child the most was a mentor, not a parent or foster parent or relative. And that's something I can act on.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the most part, at my job I recruit and then support adoptive families for older foster children. Occasionally, however, I work with a child who is emancipating the foster care system. The stories in this book are typical of my experience working with these youth. The system truly fails emancipated youth more times than it serves them. I thought it was interesting, though, that the social workers this book lauds as doing the very best work are also the ones I would characterize as having the poorest professional boundaries.

[Heather Djama · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opens your eyes to the difficulties that foster children have to deal with once they are trying to make it on their own. This book tells the true stories of youth trying to make it on their own after being raised by the state. It will break your heart but will also give you a great deal of compassion for this population. I currently work with youth aging out of the foster care system and would recomend this book to anyone who wants to understand what these kids are dealing with.

[Corbrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an important book to read concerning the ever present and increasingly troubling social problem of how we as a society deal with youth who transition out of the faster care system. This book does an excellent job of recording the experiences of several youth who have transitioned out of the foster care system and each story shares many common tragic elements. Well worth the time I spent reading it.

[Kimberly Harrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book for several years but only just started reading it. It tells the story of 10 youth who aged out of the foster care system. It's on-target and touching. It highlights the youths' strengths but most importantly, I think as a teen foster care Social Worker, is the very real limits on money, resources, placements and support systems for these youth.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am certain I read this book in the early 2000s, but I read it again. I am so discouraged about the state of the foster care system and how its children are not prepared for adulthood. This is the book that originally opened my eyes to that. I'm not sure what I should do to help, but I know I want to do something.

[Mia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great reporting of the complexities and awfulness of life in foster care. The author followed ten young people throughout their aging-out years and provides a sympathetic but not mawkish report of what they endure and how they survive. Or not.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives its reader a glimpse of the troubles of foster care and child protective services....it is a compilation of several stories, some victorious and some gut wrenching to read.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is hearbreaking to hear these stories of what it is like to be emancipated from the fostercare system with little or no support or life skills training.

[Kelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really relevant to my job.

[Uma]

found on a dollar cart at the strand

[Amanda Birdwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome, honest, wrenching book that steeled my resolve to be a foster mom - while also highlighting the need for reform and compassion for all teenagers (all people!)

[Rocky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I already know what happens to youth when they age out of the foster care system from my work but I appreciated reading these stories, statistics and recommendations for creating change.

[Annie Slaughter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very fascinating and inspiring. All the stories were diverse and different, so most people could relate to at least one of the stories.

[Debbie Frisch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking and important book

[Roxanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

i have always wondered what happens to kids when they age out of the foster system. I think the kids still struggle and need help and I hope there are programs for them.

[Ann Campbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was about as bleak as you’d expect, but less insightful than you’d hope. It has the down side of most books of this type, which is that it’s organized as case studies and written in dry academic prose style. You get little sense of the actual children the book profiles as real people. What is most surprising is how random the outcomes of equally situated children seems to be when laid out this way. One kid will thrive in a group home, get an advanced degree and move to the suburbs, while another will have a really caring and involved foster family who they act out against and then end up in similar situations to their neglectful and sometimes abusive parents. That part is the same as all kids: some of them are predictable products of their environments and some fail or succeed despite every circumstance.