Cultural Misunderstandings: The French-American Experience

by Raymonde Carroll, Carol Volk (Translator)

“Full of colorful anecdotes…tells us a lot about the French but even more about ourselves.”—Los Angeles Times   This is an intriguing and thoughtful analysis of the many ways French and Americans—and indeed any members of different cultures—can misinterpret each other, even when ostensibly speaking the same language.   Cultural misunderstandings, Raymonde Carroll points out, can arise even where we least expect in our closest relationships. With revealing vignettes and perceptive observations, she brings to light some fundamental differences in French and American presuppositions about love, friendship, and raising children, as well as such everyday activities as using the telephone or asking for information.   “An entertaining, informative book…often witty…a vital source for learning how to establish amity not only between the U.S. and France but among all the world’s nations.”—Publishers Weekly

Genres: Nonfiction, France, Cultural, Anthropology, Relationships, College, Language

164 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 1987

Reviews

[Manik Sukoco · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is written by a French anthropologist, who has been living in the USA. Thus, the chapters abound with wonderful examples illustrating various kinds of misunderstanding between the French and the Americans: the differences in constructing conversations, in how one understands friendship, family life, how people interpret the process of getting information, etc. are discussed.
Cultural analysis is a tool with which the author scrutinizes the meaning of these situations, which, of course, happened either in France or in the USA. The author analyzes these stories from the perspectives of both a French and an American and masterfully shows where misinterpretation of cultural behavior can occur (the author proves that the meaning of the same actions does not coincide in these cultures). The book never gets too theoretical. On the contrary, it is an entertaining reading, providing us all with food for thought (and sometimes a chuckle).
The book might be interesting for “all intercultural”, for those who like to read about how things are done in other cultures: the author provides her readers with patterns for understanding someone from a different culture and affords us, as she points out, interesting discoveries both about ourselves and “the other.”

[Kogiopsis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This review requires a preface: I am thoroughly aware that a lot of my perception of this book is, ironically, shaped by cultural premises. For one thing, American standards of scholarship are different – it would be unusual to see an American scholarly book with no list of references or index. A text lacking these acknowledgements of other research reads, to me, more like an opinion piece than true nonfiction.

With that said… fundamentally, I found there to be a kind of irony here. On the one hand, I’m fairly convinced that Carroll wrote this in good faith; that she believes in the power of cultural analysis to resolve misunderstandings; and that she’s earnest in her desire to understand different perspectives. On the other hand, there’s very little indication in this book that she actually sought out American viewpoints, and her analysis ended up feeling one-sided and shallow.

(Full review on Kogi Reviews)

[Karen Chung · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was informative and well worth reading, though honestly it was a little tedious to work through sometimes.

The author focuses on some of the deeper and subtler differences between our cultures that are well worth pondering. At the same time, the book further confirms my feeling, after having reviewed my high school French a bit and spending a summer in Grenoble in 2019, that French and American people are just not all *that* different, and that there is, on the other hand, quite a clear divide between "Western" and "Eastern" culture, when I compare France and the US with my decades of experience living in Taiwan.

If you're also working on your French or English or thinking of moving from either country to the other, you should find this book of interest.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first read Cultural Misunderstandings 18 or so years ago I thought it was an excellent reference because up to that time I had never really seen anything that pointed out cultural differences among people and of course those differences/misunderstandings are the things that trip up our relationships with others. I'm probably going in a circle with that sentence and not saying anything. Sometimes Americans (and maybe other people as well) measure others according to our own standards rather than taking the time to appreciate the differences and diversity that other people can bring into our lives.

[Victoria Foote-Blackman · Rating 3 out of 5]

A must read, even 30 years after it was published, for any American who is planning to spend any time in France, and certainly for anyone planning to live or work there. The book, written by a French anthropologist, has its drawbacks: it is somewhat messily written, and the use of lots of X's, Y's and I's instead of just first names or pseudonyms when quoting from people, makes it a bit arid. There are some confusing sentence structures. But these are minor drawbacks. The book does effectively point out a lot of the roadblocks for people on either side of the Atlantic Ocean in dealing with each other. (As someone who spent her early childhood years raised by the French, and for whom French was her first language, and over the course of a professional and personal life lived a quarter of a century there, I was one of those who went native and spent many years living at very close quarters with the French.)

Yes, the French are not as "promiscuous" (Carrol's expression) in talking to strangers in supermarkets or other public places as Americans might be. Yes, the French are still quite appalled at Americans' discussing income and financial success, but tend to be much more open about their love lives and sex generally. Yes, at work the French do knock on doors before entering, and keep bathroom doors always closed, regardless of whether it's being used or not. Yes, the French do feel that Americans don't know how to have a conversation, especially one that involves disagreement on politics or culture. Etc... The chapter on "Parents and Children" is particularly apt and thus useful for anyone living in France with children.

That is why the very pro-American recent TV series "Emily in Paris," (while in some ways nicely researched), is after the first few episodes so confoundingly annoying. It shows an admittedly sweet American girl who arrives in France not speaking French, knowing nothing about the history or culture of the hexagon, and having no inkling of the kinds of values that give France its seasoned civilisation--nor any inkling that she might learn from French savoir-vivre. Chutzpah and a smile and reliance on the gimcrackery of social media is proved time and again in each episode to triumph (or rather to Trump?) over French pseudo-staidness, taste, and subtlety. Probably satisfying for insular Americans but anyone who understands the culture even a bit will understand why the especially disagreeable French boss rudely calls Emily "un plouc." Perhaps by the end of the series her eyes are opened, but this viewer no longer cares to follow her bildungsroman blunderings and the underlying deluded American smugness.

[Keith Sickle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting book but a little uneven. I found some sections fascinating and insightful, and for the most part correct. Others were less so, like the section on American couples. And I found in some cases that the author had insight only into a certain milieu, either French or American, and from there drew broad generalizations about the overall society that were questionable at best. There were also some parts that were dated, like the one on the use of the telephone, but that is to be expected for a book written 35 years ago.

I think the greatest value of this book is a general one, to not be angry when people from another country act in "odd" ways, but rather to try to understand why they do.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just THE book that will explain why an American might be surprised in France and why a French would feel the same in the United States. Just perfectly relevant if you have ever been through any of those experiences. Thanks to this book, I learnt why you had this little flag up on your mailbox when you wanted the postman to take your mail!

[Stephkay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of good food for thought. I appreciate the explanation of everyday behaviors in a greater context of philosophies. YMMV: A lot of her descriptions of American life do NOT ring true to my experiences; I suspect the French readers may have similar reactions (as did I, but with a smaller sample size).

[Dan Rousseau · Rating 2 out of 5]

C’est un livre intéressant où l’auteure décortique et analyse en profondeur des éléments culturels du quotidien des Français comparés aux Américains et vice-versa. Ça se veut le résultat d’un travail de recherche anthropologique sur des différences culturelles et malheureusement, puisque le livre a été écrit en conséquence, c’est un ouvrage lourd et pénible à lire où les informations vraiment intéressantes pour les lecteurs «ordinaires» qui lisent ce livre pour le plaisir, se retrouvent à combattre 80% du contenu d’analyse, de comparaison, de résultats universitaires d’un ennui immense.

Je me suis fais recommander ce livre à San Francisco lors d’un voyage d’affaires par une femme Belge qui vit aux États-Unis depuis des décennies.

Le hic est que je suis Québécois, et suite à la lecture de ce livre, je constate que la culture québécoise est un heureux mélange de la culture française de France et américaine. Je me reconnaissais dans les deux cultures, mais, je ne me reconnaissais pas dans les enjeux du livre.

Je ne suis clairement pas le public cible. Ce livre s’adresse davantage aux francophones d’Europe et aux américains.

2.5/5

[Cesare De Cal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Profoundly interesting book about cultural differences between the French and the American societies. It does not want to be an exhaustive source of information by any means. It is rather a warm invitation to be skeptical about common stereotypes (“the French are arrogant”, “People from the Nordics are cold”). The author suggests these are reflections of the culture you belong to. You may be able to speak multiple languages, but can you “speak” more than one culture? That is not an easy feat, it requires self-reflection and a bit of humility, but the author suggests it’s a very rewarding journey nonetheless. It was in the published in 1980s and a French friend said some examples are a bit outdated.

[Vicky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am abandoning this book that I picked up in 2011 for $5 in a UChicago Press tent sale on campus, that I picked back up on Nov. 5, 2019 because, tbh, I was obsessed with Portrait of a Lady on a Fire so I really only cared about the section on "The Couple" to gain an understanding about what could have taken place between Céline Sciamma and Adèle Haenel (terrible, but I mean, like, what relationship stuff might be like), lolol, and then I realized this book was published in 1987 and everything described sounds so specific, rather informal and anecdotal, and completely out of date.

[Martinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being in the hospitality business, from an international oriented family, I found this book. particularly interesting. It became one of my Bible books. (Another one is the Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver)
I refer to it very often. Always reminding others and myself to not judge others from your own culture and perspective.
Knowing where behaviors come from, understanding others' culture is essential for your own sake and when you travel. Don't be shocked, don't shock others. Enjoy your experience, enjoy meeting other people. Merci Madame Carroll. You really had a large impact on my life as a host, as a traveler, as a human being.

[Kevin Christiansen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure if there is a more recent edition (this one was published in 1988). This one is a little dated and needs updating especially in light of technical advances in communications and social media since over the last three and a half decades. That said, the discussion of cultural misunderstandings between Americans and the French was thought-provoking. The overall analysis would be applicable to differences between other cultures as well.

[Moira Ackerman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me quite awhile to read for being a short book. It was intriguing at times while tiresome to read at other points. I found the comparisons between the French and American culture to be interesting, the stories and examples provided were captivating. However, without the stories I found it to be a tedious read that I really had to work towards finishing.

[Brenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book I can finally appreciate so many aspects of French culture that before I either did not notice or did not understand. I also could “see” my own culture and found the author’s analyses to be spot on about American culture. She was not demeaning or devaluing of either culture, which I also really appreciated.

[Emma Colgrave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am studying French in evening classes, it was a wonderful insight into the differences between Americans and the French. Interestingly I found that my English upbringing was closer to that of the French.

[Anne Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

In reading a blog about the French language and cultural this book was cited. I found it very interesting to see what some of the cultural differences between Americans and French. The information will be very useful on my trip to France.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this for a class in college. Very insightful and entertaining.

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

A French anthropologist who has lived in America for years tries to make sense of cultural misunderstandings between the French and the Americans. Thought-provoking.

[Shishira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful and interesting book to engage in cultural thinking.

[vlociraptors]

C’était si lonnnng💀 contente d’avoir fini je recommencerai pas

[Maddie Atkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible insights into both French and American culture that is both enriching and challenging.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - insightful!

(As the days cooled)

[Laurent · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 out of 5 stars

[Claudie D · Rating 2 out of 5]

This should have been a leaflet.

[Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

The topic of cultural differences between Americans and the French is fascinating, but this book just didn't make those differences clear enough for me.

[N. N. Santiago · Rating 4 out of 5]

A succinct book of cultural analysis concerning French and American cultures, focusing especially on misunderstandings to illustrate the importance of culture in the producing and understanding of meaning.

Carroll, a Tunisian-born Frenchwoman and American-resident anthropologist (at least at the time of writing in 1988), sets out in her introduction that cultural analysis is 'a means of perceiving as "normal" things which initially seem "bizarre" or "strange" among people of a culture different from one's own'.

The situations and examples that form the basis of the core chapters of the book (Home, Conversation, Parents and Children, The Couple, Friendship, The Telephone, "Minor Accidents", Obtaining Information [highlights in bold]) are taken from life-experience, as well as from interviews with a range of French and American 'informants'. These situations are usually given from both sides and both directions (American acts and French responds, vice-versa, and what both think in each case), and are used skillfully to elucidate the cultural assumptions and meanings that can unconsciously sit behind any interpersonal act.

Carroll hopes that by learning to understand the cultural context of another's actions, one can try to avoid feeling hurt, confused or worse when confronted by actions which when interpreted according to one's own cultural schema could be deeply unsettling.

[Lacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So this book was written in the 80s and is definitely a little dated, but I really loved how they describe cultural differences especially when it comes to conversations and how both cultures can view each other as being very rude by simply not understanding the differences. This book was recommended by Geralgine of Comme un Française who is a French citizen who teaches French language and culture. My husband and his family are all French, immigrated to the US in 1995 and they say it’s pretty accurate. I found it pretty interesting

[Adele · Rating 4 out of 5]

p137: The authors tells you why to practice cultural analysis, i.e. why to read this book?

"Because practicing cultural analysis will in no way change the aspects of myself which I consider to be essential but will enrich me with a new way of thinking, will provide me with an additional tool for my apprehension of the mysterious world around me, will give me access to a new type of pleasure, will afford me interesting discoveries both about myself and the other, both about my culture and that of others. Because I will be able to recognize with humor (and a certain sense of power) situations, phrases, modes of conduct, words which formerly wounded me, bothered me, riled me up or angered me, and which sometimes brought me to despair.
...
Because I know the advantage and the pleasure of speaking more than one language, and because I can imagine the advantage and the pleasure of speaking more than one culture.
Because I can explore what attracts me in the exotic without destroying this attraction. Because I will be able to see the invisible, the exotic in me.
Simply because. For the beauty of the adventure."

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though a little dated, this book is highly informative. I picked it up to prepare for a trip to France and reading this ended up illuminating for me my intercultural upbringing and the misunderstandings I make today with people around me! It is an anthropological book published by an academic publisher, so the text might be a bit information-dense. The examples in it don't apply to every American or every French person (as the author mentions in her book), but they're an excellent starting point.