Raising Capable Kids

by Deborah Winking

Many children are labelled 'different' - by doctors, by educators, by peers - and as parents, this label can often limit our hopes and expectations for them. Although the challenges that come with being different are real, and vary greatly - all children can be raised to be strong, capable, curious humans.
This book brings together 12 habits for parents to set your child up for success - regardless of diagnosis. Chapters range from defining what 'capable' means for your child and setting expectations that others treat your child as capable, to challenging your child in safe ways and allowing your child to make decisions for themselves. With true stories that bring each habit to life, the science underpinning it, activities that encourage practical application and space for reflection - this is a compassionate guide to understanding, supporting and celebrating your extraordinary child in ways that are game changing.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

Published June 21, 2024

About the author

As a mother of four and PhD in Educational Psychology, I have worked with and advocated for countless children. My credentials as a teacher, educational consultant, and researcher, coupled with my life experience as a parent of a child born with a genetic syndrome, give "Capable" weight and credibility that is rarely found in parenting memoirs. Visit my website at www.highexpectationsparenting.com where you can request to have my blog, Capable Conversations, emailed directly to you.

Reviews

[LeAn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 Stars! Thank you, NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this eARC of Raising Capable Kids by Deborah Winking.

This was very helpful for a parent of special needs kids. It has a lot of valuable information that I would definitely recommend to another parent/caregiver. This book actually helped gain additional confidence when I had to attend one of my child's recent IEP. I don't think I would be able to give this book to a new parent being introduced to the special needs/disability world yet, because it does take the parent to come to that realization, but I would list this book as a resource once the parents are ready. I do like that this book doesn't guilt or shame the parents to feel like they're not doing enough and celebrating the small victories are still awesome victories. I'm not trying to show off but I am really proud of us (the hubby and myself) for teaching our oldest nonverbal son how to finally communicate with us by using his AAC device(s).

[Laurie Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for free. This does not impact my review in any shape or form.

Raising Capable Kids: The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child’s Label of Challenge, by Deborah Winking, is a self-help parenting book for caregivers learning how to support kids with special needs. The book is separated into different habits that each caregiver can follow and provides steps that they can take to build those habits. At the end of each habit lies reflections and exercises that caregivers can practice to build healthy coping skills for themselves and their children. Winking offers realistic solutions to caregivers who struggle with understanding their child and provides a comforting ear to combat burnout.

I appreciate how Winking incorporates person-centered approaches and emphasizes the need to build a working relationship with the child (keyword being working). It’s not a secret that, whether you’re a therapist, a teacher, a caregiver, or someone who enjoys helping kids with different perspectives in life, to get someone to learn, you have to have some rapport with them. This book wholeheartedly rejects the “do what I say, not as I do” attitude and instead tries to get caregivers to comprehend their child's perspectives of the world. I enjoyed the vignettes throughout the book; the book becomes more digestible and encourages the reader to learn more about how they were able to be successful. Profesionally-wise, I would use this book as a supplement to other parenting curricula, such as Nurturing Parenting.

I can also see this book being put to use for adult children struggling with severe mental illness and who are living with their parents. Is the situation ideal? No, especially when one year, your adult child was living independently and doing well for themselves, and then the next, they’re suddenly struggling with activities of daily living. It’s not uncommon to see some regression for those with mental illness, especially those diagnosed with a form of schizophrenia or PTSD. Sometimes, it can feel like you really are teaching a child all over again. Despite that, I can pinpoint certain situations in my practice where I felt a habit listed in the book would help a parent understand more of what their children are going through.

A side note: the book reminded me of when I was younger and struggled with reading. We’re not just born knowing how. We need to be able to sound out words, understand those words, understand the words that make up different phrases, and understand how to properly string them together into a coherent paragraph. But though I hated reading, the tone Winking uses reminded me of all those patient, patient teachers who willingly worked with me. It’s a nostalgic memory that adds to the book’s value.

[Katerina Karavapori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think many readers will find the book to be empowering and encouraging, helping them to see their children's potential and capabilities in a new light. The book emphasizes the importance of focusing on a child's strengths and celebrating their achievements, rather than dwelling on their weaknesses, providing practical tips and strategies for raising capable children. I found the book generally well-written and engaging. Deborah Winking offers a refreshing perspective on child-rearing.

The book champions a strengths-based approach, encouraging parents to shift their focus from what their child "can't" do to their unique abilities and potential. This empowering mindset can significantly impact a child's self-esteem and motivation. Winking also emphasizes the importance of cultivating a positive and supportive narrative around a child's challenges. By reframing difficulties as opportunities for growth and learning, parents can help their children develop resilience and a strong sense of self-worth. While not a step-by-step guide, the book offers valuable insights and practical strategies for fostering independence, problem-solving skills, and a growth mindset in children. These strategies can be adapted to various parenting styles and individual child needs (which I thought was great).
Winking weaves personal anecdotes throughout the book, making it relatable and engaging. These stories illustrate the power of positive parenting and offer hope and inspiration to parents facing similar challenges.
Overall, Raising Capable Kids could be a valuable resource for parents seeking to nurture their child's potential and create a supportive environment for growth and development.
Thank you to the publisher, author and NetGalley for my review copy, all opinions are my own.

[Ro U]

"Raising Capable Kids: The 12 Habits Every Parent Needs Regardless of their Child’s Label of Challenge" is a really helpful guide for parents of kids with special needs. The book breaks down twelve habits for caregivers to develop, with steps, reflections, and exercises to help both parents and children cope better.

As a parent of a child who is neurodivergent, I appreciated this insight a lot, and will be using these tips as I navigate parenting in the future. She makes it feel actually doable, which I really appreciate since parenting can be so overwhelming.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent exploration of what capable can mean for your child and how you can support it. Whether your child is neurodivergent, special needs, or neurotypical, this book is full of tips and advice. She also includes lots of support and personal stories of what capable might look like for your child.

[Alison]

Such good insights and thoughts, but the FORMAT of this book was EVERYTHING! Each chapter was a different habit, the science behind it, applying it, reflection, etc etc…. Wow! Will likely be purchasing so I can annotate and bookmark