By Myself

by Lauren Bacall

The classic first autobiography of one of Hollywood's classic actresses, reissued to coincide with the publication of her new book, Now. Here, in her own words, is Lauren Bacall's charming, candid chronicle of her life and career, including her dream marriage to Humphrey Bogart.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Film, Media Tie In

506 pages, Paperback

First published December 12, 1978

About the author

Betty Joan Perske, better known as Lauren Bacall, was a Golden Globe– and Tony Award–winning, as well as Academy Award–nominated, American film and stage actress and model. Known for her husky voice and sultry looks, she became a fashion icon in the 1940s and has continued acting to the present day.

She is perhaps best known for being a film noir leading lady in films such as The Big Sleep (1946) and Dark Passage (1947), as well as a comedienne, as seen in 1953's How to Marry a Millionaire. Bacall also enjoyed success starring in the Broadway musicals Applause in 1970 and Woman of the Year in 1981.

Reviews

[Meredith Holley · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of my friends made fun of me for a little while yesterday because he saw me walking down the street laughing to myself. Fittingly, I was laughing to myself about the smartass comments I was planning to make to him about how rude it was that he didn’t offer to give me a ride. This book makes me think of that because of how easily I can entertain myself by thinking about a better comeback, a funnier joke, or a snappier ending to a story I already told. Reading this was sort of like reading everything Lauren Bacall wished she’d said to people her entire life.

It is not as entertaining to hear someone else’s would-have-saids as it is to hear my own.

The other issue I have with this book is that it falls into this ditch of crappy storytelling wherein she recounts the overall events that happened throughout entire years, but without any actual story. “Then we went to Paris, then we stayed at a hotel, then a lot of people got malaria, then my mom said something wise, then somebody went to the doctor.” I think every other sentence should have been edited out, and the remaining elaborated into actual stories with dialogue and descriptions. This was maybe the longest short book I've ever read. Mostly a slog.

I am giving this three stars, though, because there were two parts that I thought were really interesting, beautiful, and well told. The first was the courtship between her and Bogart, and the second was his death. I actually really loved the way she talked about Bogie’s death. It was incredibly sad and very beautiful, and at that point it seemed to unfold that the whole book had been leading up to that moment in her life. In a lot of ways, it seemed like her life became somewhat defined by mourning him.

I have had a few friends who strongly identify with Lauren Bacall, or at least her movie persona, and I have never felt that. The same with Audrey Hepburn. It seems nice, to me, for a girl to identify with women who are so elegant and graceful, but still with humor, but I am not one of them. Lena Dunham is definitely my girl. I guess I thought going into this memoir that despite her outward dissimilarity to me, there would be some kind of sympathy of spirit between Lauren Bacall and me. Whether that reflects well or badly on me, that was not the case.

The disconnect for me happened in that Bacall seemed really focused on affirming traditional values of finding a man to take care of her and devoting herself to her children, but also her career was obviously intensely important to her identity. While she was married to Bogie, according to Bacall, he was pretty clear that work should be second and he should be the priority. She was happy to agree to that. And after he died, she talked a lot about still having hope that she would find a man to take care of her. But, then, there were these times when someone would be dying, her kids would be failing at school, and she’d decide to go to Paris for a month to hang out. That kind of freaks me out because I feel like if you are really skilled as a caregiver and want to devote yourself to caring for kids and dudes, fine. But, if you aren’t, and you are skilled as an actress, don’t pretend you’re something else just to try to fit in. That bugs me. Play to your strengths.

I’m not questioning her love for her kids or husbands or lovers at all. I’m just saying I felt like my sense of who she was got all fogged up by this agenda she had to prove that she was somehow a nurturing person. And the fact that she was rarely there when something important happened to her family sort of belied the idea that she was devoted to nurturing. I have zero problem with her being skilled at other things than nurturing, and I think a person’s nurturing skills have very little to do with how much they love their family, but I got the sense that she had a problem with her skills lying elsewhere and wanted to sell herself as a nurturer. That was where I couldn’t identify with her.

It did seem like there were a couple of times where she could have been there for her family, but was at a party or in another country, or something. I couldn’t really get a good sense of it, though, because a lot of that seemed like she might have been too hard on herself and feeling some kind of survivor guilt for not being there every second of every family member’s life. Ultimately, I think it is a flaw in the book that I am distracted by not having a sense of whether she was there for her family or mostly at parties. It made me kind of curious what they would have said. What I mean is that I appreciate it when people are accurate about their own skills. I don't mean complaining, like, "I'm ugly" or "Everybody hates me" because those are not possible, and are only feelings, not accurate descriptions. I mean, like, "I am good at cooking and bad at gardening." I feel like those things build who a character is, even if the character is as complex as a real human, and I didn't get a solid sense of Bacall as a character.

I guess, Bacall's appearance and presentation is harsh and independent, but she describes herself as being soft and dependent. I am the opposite of that. I look like a helpless child, but really more of a jerk.

But, she did fall in love with a lot of married men, and I can identify with that. People are always getting married.

[Katarina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kad sam došla do dela "And Then Some" audio knjiga je otkazala poslušnost te sam naposletku odslušala samo izvornu "By Myself" za koju dajem ocenu 4.5.
Priča počinje s Betinim (Loren) upoznavanjem Bet Dejvis u detinjstvu završavajući se njenom ulogom Margo Čening na daskama koje život znače nakon Bogartove smrti dok je njenu interpretaciju iz publike pratila izvorna Margo tj. Bet.

Kroz roman upoznajemo i famozni "Rat Pack", Kejt Hepburn i Spensera Trejsija, Gregori Peka, pisca Luisa Bromfilda i mnoge druge koji su odigrali značajnu ulogu u životu žene koja je stvorila "the look" i pri prvom susretu sa kamerom hipnotisala svet.
Za sve ljubitelje starog Holivuda interesantno štivo.

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Bacall’s memoir, first published in 1978 and later updated with an additional seventy-five pages. I read the first but not the second edition.

She begins her story in Brooklyn and Manhattan in the thirties and forties, where she was raised by her mother in a close knit Jewish family. As a teenager she was obsessed with Bette Davis and the idea of becoming a movie star. She started modeling and it was as a cover model for Harper’s Bazaar that she was noticed by Slim Hawks, who brought Lauren to the attention of her husband the movie mogul Howard Hawks. Howard taught her how to speak, to dress and to walk in a Svengali-like relationship in which he contracted her to the movies at the age of seventeen. But he kept her secreted from the rest of Hollywood until he had the right movie in which to introduce her to the world. That came in the form of what Hemmingway called his worst novel, “To Have and Have Not”. But in Hawks' hands it translated well to the screen. And it was in interesting role for Bacall who was still a young innocent teenager but who was required to take on the role of a sexy and alluring vixen. After this introduction, Bacall quickly became a star, famous for what was called “The Look”, a way she had of holding her head bowed and looking up with her eyes heavily lidded, projecting an innocent yet sexy and sullen vulnerability.

Humphrey Bogart also starred in the film and from their first encounter things between them seem to take off like fireworks. Bogart was trapped in an abusive alcoholic marriage to Mayo Methot, but began an intense affair with Bacall. However, there was not just the infidelity that complicated things, there was a considerable age difference between the two, with Bogart twenty-five years older than Bacall.

Bogart later divorced his wife, married Bacall and they had two children. They worked in several films together and produced some of the most memorable scenes in movie history. Sadly their eleven year marriage ended with his death from lung cancer. That section of the book with its quiet, gruesome detail, is very moving.

Bacall includes sections on her struggle to become a star, lots of name dropping from her days in Hollywood and the social circle that she and Bogey were a part of (Judy Garland, Cole Porter and Frank Sinatra were friends), details on the beginning of the Rat Pack and the Blacklist that began in 1947. But the true touchstone of the book is the relationship she had with Bogey and his later death. She chronicles her sorrow and never seemed to regain happiness after his death. The book itself seems to falter, as if she does not have much to say following this loss.

Although they had two children there is little about motherhood, her children or her family life. It seemed she was most devoted to Bogey and her career. It is interesting as well to read about the differences between the public perception of her and her own view of herself. To the public she seemed a strong aloof woman, but she portrays herself as vulnerable and needing someone to lean on, preferably a man.

An entertaining read, about this well-known actress and the glory days of Hollywood which won the National Book Award in 1980.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lauren Bacall was one fantastically talented actress, IMO. She could do comedy, tragedy and anything in between. She and Humphrey Bogart had one of the most loving, admired marriages in Hollywood at the time (or any other).

Her acting was top rate and so was her skill as a writer. This memoir didn't hold much back, if anything. It made me laugh and cry. Ms. Bacall was honest, thoughtful and humble. She shared her victories, her tragedies (no spoilers) and her everyday life with and without Bogie.

I enjoyed reading this book very much. I was sad when it ended because I wanted more.

[Haralambi Markov · Rating 5 out of 5]

As of late I’ve been enjoying Lauren Bacall’s cheery, bubbly autobiography “By Myself” and I don’t want the book to end, but I’m crawling slowly to the finish line. The end is near, but I decided to voice my thoughts as they come to me. It’s different than my critical approach to a work and I don’t believe that there is something to get out of a biography thinking critically about it, not the way you would do a novel.

Obviously, “By Myself” is geared towards a different generation, whose members have been at one point exposed to the names bombed heavily through the book’s pages. Through some of my American pop-culture exposure, I have recognized almost half the names Bacall lists at any given time, but since the Boggart-Bacall family had an active social life, it’s inevitable. I don’t know so much, because it just gives me other personalities from the past to explore.

What drew me in “By Myself” was the cover art, which demanded my attention the second I laid my eyes on it and as with “Wild Swans” the book was a gamble on my part and another good pick. I guess I’m born with the intuition to judge good books by their extraordinary titles [in this case, the author’s name and the book’s title are switched, which I, at first, understood as the book being titled “Lauren Bacall” and that the ‘by myself’ bit was a hint that it was an autobiography written by the actress herself – hopefully without the aid of a ghost writer] and cover art. While I do believe that there is something noble in seeking beauty wrapped in rags, I deny that my epidermis shifts with waves of pleasure when I hold brilliance pampered and styled for the privilege of being in my hands. What can I say? I’m an egoist when it comes to the reading experience.

“By Myself” entertains me, because the Hollywood glory days have some indescribable sway over my imagination. My definition of class and pedigree [even people’s vices at the time had class] is visually anchored in the 1950s, despite the locale. To be honest, some of the classiest people in Bulgarian public life, of stage, music and screen rose to prominence during the 50s and 60s, despite communism’s long and over-extending shadow. To be introduced to a point of view, which has experienced those days firsthand, is thrilling to me as a reader. To have my Peeping Tom tendencies tickled, oh what joy.

Lauren Bacall is a sympathetic voice. I adore every chipper and honest sound she creates with her persona. If America can boast with sweethearts, then Lauren Bacall would be one of them, but let’s track back to the sounds and the book. It’s rarely that I ‘hear’. I either experience the wonders of ‘hallucinations’ reading or feel through every page. This is the first book to have me imagine the voice of the author and narrate every sentence to me. I think that this method of reading was enhanced by the fact that I couldn’t place any faces to names as I’m probably the worst physiognomist in the world. The only other option for me was to direct my mind in a different direction. I’m saying this a reader, it’s fun to re-invent the act of reading. You get something more, something else and unknown, if you fine tune your perception and approach any work in a distinct way. I guess that’s also a reason why people tend to re-read, but this is topic for another post.

Last, but not least, the rise and fall of any artistic soul is relatable to every other. It makes no difference, if you are a dancer, writer, singer, painter, sculptor or actor as the case is, feelings of anxiety, fear, hope, pleasure and love for the craft are universal. It’s uplifting to read about the success of a talented and pure human being and dream that the big break is right around the corner. I also assume that readers, who have been through the ups and down career-wise can relate to Bacall’s hurdles and struggles. All in all, I’m happy

[Philip Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

What constitutes a feminist icon? Simone de Beauvoir? Germaine Greer? Madonna? Soon after this Instagram message appeared,

madonna: Thank you Margaret Thatcher!
#unapologetic# - rebelheart

the sender deleted it. Reports say she had received a barrage of complaints from many of her gay fans – or at least, people whose reaction the entertainer may not have thought of when she 'liked' the photograph of Britain's first (and so far only) woman prime minister. The image of Margaret Thatcher was headed by a quote (presumably) from the so-called Iron Lady herself. At any rate, the words read straight from the horse's mouth,

“If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

which is possibly what the singer known as Madonna was really responding to by her Instagram message. Apart from being a great fillip for Instagram - that must be grating on Twitter - what have either of these women done for women? Are either of them feminist icons?

It was when just finishing off Lauren Bacall's autobiography “By Myself” when the above story broke. The news came on BBC's Radio Four and though the details were somewhat sketchy, it sounded like Madonna had been hailing the Prime Minister at the time of Clause 28 as someone women should be looking up to. Now, most of us who got through the Thatcher years did so without compromising ourselves over her gender. The fact that she was a woman made no one on the Left love her. Nor did feminists publicly express delight over her ascendency. The most feminine solidarity Mrs Thatcher got was from women who rode to hounds, from yuppie women striving to make it in the male dominated world of capitalism, from housewives indelibly blue-rinsed in the tweed, and – one supposes – from those silent majority women who may simply not have denied voting for her. Thatcher, btw, was a near contemporary of Lauren Bacall. On Thatcher, The New Look must have worn thin before it became old fashioned. Yet The New Look, as embodied by The Look (Bacall's seminal own contribution to post-War fashion) never went out.

Bacall's autobiography, “By Myself”, is a book by a real feminist icon. The image projected through her was of a strong woman in control. From the first film, “To Have And Have Not” onwards, age and sex would be no bar to her. Though she was a mere eighteen year-old unknown when she left her native New York and went off to Hollywood to star alongside Humphrey Bogart – the biggest box office star of the day – she comes across as an all-knowing, wisecracking tomboy who just oozes sex. As well as this, The Look was created around her and, though she was actually somewhat angular, gawky and (in her own words) flat-chested, she instantly became the bombshell that knocked Rita Hayworth off her pedestal.

Bacall's was a high-shouldered, manly image which perfectly suited the position many women had been thrust into by the war. Working in factories or in uniform huge numbers of women had been recruited into the war effort and achieved a sudden independence. Her role in the film, and the off-set romance between her and Bogart – which the script was rewritten to trade off – was appealing to male and female audiences alike. She was admired by women for her style and confidence, while men couldn't help dreaming they should have Bogart's luck.

The way she tells it, Betty Perske (her real name) didn't have to struggle to get to the top. An only child, her mother was abandoned by her father when she was small, though she was lucky to come from a well-connected, Jewish family who sent her to private schools. From her first acting lessons at the age of sixteen to top Hollywood billing just three years later, she must have led a charmed life. And in fact, she admits as much, for this is not quite a dishonest book. She devoted all of her twenties to Bogart and their children, with her acting career taking second or third place. Bogart's early death, which takes approximately seventy pages, also took its toll on her. We cannot doubt her devotion to him, and she does not doubt ours. Bogart, sixty years on from his death, is still an icon (though not quite a feminist one).

There is always important stuff missing from biographies and autobiographies and we pour over them struggling to fill up the gaps, to add local colour. Film stars, in my book, usually win out over politicians as their stories are mirrored many times over in their performances. What's missing here, though, is on two levels. The first, and most obvious, is that although we get impressions of what it was like in Hollywood in the Forties and Fifties, and later on Broadway and London's West End in the Seventies, the roar of crowd and smell of greasepaint passages don't quite draw us in (though the smell of Bogart's decaying body is put somewhat pungently). I think that's down to Bacall's somewhat prosaic writing. She did write it “by herself”, so what you get is what you read; little is edited out or in.

The other thing missing is some (and not all) of the truth. Bogart is portrayed as a saintly husband (if very much the sinner when it comes to booze). Bacall does not mention the on-off affair he had with his long time assistant, which elsewhere has been documented. If it's true, the way Betty extracted a shopping spree from him in revenge points to a very different kind of marriage than she would have us believe. Also, airbrushing out Katherine Hepburn – Spencer Tracy's lover – and replacing her with his estranged Louise (died 1983) – is simply private politics. All those visits by Spencer and his 'wife' – especially as (his best pal) Bogart lay dying (a twelve months' gig) is an example of such doublespeak.

So don't come here for the truth, come here for a 1979 version, one that needs to be read in context. As a self portrait of an icon it's just a part of the jigsaw. Lauren Bacall was created by the auteur Howard Hawks and – like Pygmalion's creation – whatever Betty Perske was like in private, her public story is all the reader may count on her to tell.

[Dayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best two parts of this book was learning that one night at a party, Lauren got a little bit too drunk, and rolled herself up with Adlai Stevenson in a rug. Bogie came over and blew up! (What a dare devil she was.)

The other unforgettable part came after the 3-month shooting of the film, African Queen. Lauren had given birth to their child, three months earlier before they started for Africa. But Bogie insisted that Lauren come with him and leave the baby behind. She did so, but she and Bogie were very anxious to get home. Sharing the cab on the way to the airport with Katherine Hepburn, they were making good time until Katherine ordered the cab to stop. She saw a rainforest, and she insisted on taking a walk in it, before she left Africa. So, off Katherine goes, while Bogie and the others waited stewing in the taxi.

[Gloria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lauren Ball is most known for her acting (The Big Sleep, To Have and Have Not), but she is also a natural, gifted writer.

I really got a sense for what it was like growing up in New York in the '30s. She was raised by a single mom and her mom's supportive Jewish family and she really is a great example of how "It takes a village" to raise a child. Of course she also tells of meeting Bogie, falling in love with him, marrying him and of their life together and theirs was definitely the real deal.

One of my favorite quotes from this book is about her relationship with Bogie, "No one has ever written a romance better than we lived it."

If you like biographies, I highly recommended this one.

[Lily Loves 📚 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this the first time in my teens and I’ve since read it about 2 more times. I love watching classic films and reading about the movie stars of these days. Lauren Bacall wrote a funny, endearing & sometimes heartbreaking book about her life. I loved it and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found Lauren Bacall to be a pretty good writer and she was able to hold my attention throughout the book. An interesting look back to a different time and place, especially one for Hollywood stars. She had an affair with Bogie (though she doesn't call it that really) and eventually marries him and has children with him. It was interesting to me exactly just how much everyone seemed to drink alcohol back then and all the get-togethers and parties they were able to have.

I read this book because I had an interest in Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart and I wasn't disappointed in learning their history through her recollection.

This is the 1978, Borzoi Book published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. that I read as it my understanding there are other editions out there.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Her straight-forward, candid writing was engaging. She openly discussed her experiences on stage and in film, her insecurities, and her marriage to Humphrey Bogart and later, Jason Robard.I enjoyed this memoir.

[H.J. Moat · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be perfectly honest... I like my Hollywood memoirs a lot dishier than this. I suppose that's the problem you have with most autobiographies over biographies (Scotty Bowers not withstanding) - the writer wants to present a sanitised version of themselves or portray themselves in a flattering light, and that is especially true for a woman in the first half of the 20th century. So there is barely any sex or scandal in here and I find it very difficult to believe that someone plucked from obscurity to megastardom at the age of 19 who married Bogart and was engaged to Sinatra had a life as vanilla as the one portrayed in these pages.
However, on the flip side, what is fascinating is that this is written in a very distinctive voice and I do believe it's hers - Lauren Bacall's, or should I said Betty Peske, because the two are not the same. Betty is nervy, self-doubting and sweet-natured, and nothing like Lauren Bacall (although clearly they were both absolutely crazy about Humphrey Bogart). It was very interesting to see how the look and persona of Lauren Bacall was carefully constructed by Howard Hawks, and the studio, and Betty herself to be this cool sort of fantasy woman.
It's not so much the reality, but the distinction between construct and reality, that makes this book worth a read.

[Ann Herrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just like her character in To Have and Have Not Bacall draws you in right from the beginning. She had quite the life, starting poor but determined in New York, struggling to become a stage actress, then being "discovered" and flown to Hollywood where her first movie made her an instant star. Marrying Humphrey Bogart, her costar, only added to the glamour.

Of course, that magical part of her life lasted only until Bogie's death 13 years after she first met him. There were many ups and downs after, but Bacall toughs it out, makes a relatively few more good movies, but also becomes a star on Broadway, her original dream.

It's a very readable, page-turning book. There is the feeling that Bacall paints herself in a better light at times, but she does reveal some of the warts too, such as her propensity for married men, holding a grudge for perceived slights, and excusing some of her own behavior.

Overall, a fascinating look into Lauren Bacall's life, the movie industry as it was back in her day, and the times in which she lived.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book and it was refreshing to read about Lauren Bacall's life in her own words. She has always been an actress that I have admired and I love her movies. The most moving part of this book has to be when she talks about the death of her soulmate Humphrey Bogart. I was brought to tears by the way she described his passing and it's the one part of this book that I remember more than anything else. It was beautifully written and it's obvious, how deeply she loved him. There is another "version" of this book called "By Myself And Then Some" which in all honesty is the book I read but that version just includes extra information toward the back and quite frankly, I think they could have just left well enough alone with this one.

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm adding a few books I read long ago, just for the sake of completeness. I remember really enjoying this one. Guessing on the "date read." Sometime in the 80s.

[Nathan Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was extremely enjoyable. Bacall is a good writer and a really perceptive chronicler of Golden Age Hollywood, but somehow the most lyrical parts of the book deal with Humphrey Bogart's death and the immediate aftermath. What comes after is still an exorcism of a kind but doesn't have that same sort of passionately rendered detail. (I actually also had the updated edition, subtitled And Then Some, and didn't realize it, so I'll read the additional 80 pages or whatever at some point. Hoping for some good Lars von Trier stories.) It had actually never occurred to me that Bacall wasn't in that many movies, and her best ones unless you count Dogville are easily those she made with Bogie. At the end of To Have and Have Not, there's that little scene of her doing a little dance, and I always thought it was an incredibly revealing moment because you really could see the joy and excitement in her at that moment. I'm glad to read that wasn't illusory; some of Bogart's behavior was regressive, and let's not forget that an age gap that size would never fly today, but he comes off as a good soul in the book, which pleased me. (I'm a big Jason Robards fan, but I'm afraid he doesn't do as well.)

What pushed this over for me was how well Bacall describes and communicates the agony of losing her husband to cancer. My stepdad, who coincidentally idolized Bogie (his all-time favorite, and to this day I regret that we never got to watch In a Lonely Place together), went in almost eerily similar a fashion, and Bacall's recollection of it all is heartbreaking, universal, and surprisingly comforting, since she mirrors a lot of stuff my mom went through that I didn't really understand. Anyway, this is very far above average as far as celebrity memoirs go.

[Della Tingle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book literally took me two months! In the midst of reading it, I lost my beloved dog, and I just couldn’t focus on reading more than a page or two a day. I finally am back to being able to concentrate on reading!

I so enjoyed Lauren Bacall’s story. I knew so little prior to this book! I grew up watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but other than that, most of her films I have never seen. Same with Bogart. The African Queen is sheer perfection, and I have seen it numerous times. Yet, most of his other work is unseen by me. I have a lot of movie watching to catch up on!

The lack of chapters drove me nuts! It’s just one, big 500+ page chapter! However, it is still worth the read…

[Chris Gleck]

This book was published in 1978 and she lived until 2014, so she also wrote a later book presumably about her life since the 70's. I have been fascinated by her style which prompted me to want to learn about her life. I am sure if I bought this at a used bookstore or found it on someone's bookshelf who was willing to pass it on to me. She tells of her low income upbringing during the Depression in Manhattan, but due to her singular focus when she wants something how she broke into show business. Her big break was being cast in the movie with Humphrey Bogart which made her star. They had a true love and romance for approximately 15 years that was cut short by his death from cancer in 1956 leaving her with two young children. The remainder of the book was how she floundered after that but finally maturing and feeling comfortable with herself and being on her own. She wrote this at age 52 or so and she lived another 26 years. I also enjoyed reading about the hollywood and NY theater social scenes plus life in the 30s, 40s and 50s. This hardcover book is good enough to donate to charity.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book and always liked Lauren and Bogie but was very sad how casually actors seem to get involved with married people. Lauren Bacall’s description of Bogie’s last days, his death, the funeral, everything were so raw and real. It really broke me up. I felt for her very much. I was disappointed that she never told us about How To Marry a Millionaire which is my favorite movie of hers. I had no idea she ever dated Frank Sinatra so that was a surprise. And I loved reading about her relationship with Hepburn and the putting together of the Broadway show, Applause.

[Chris Ulisse · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to confess I was disappointed by this one. The book reads like one very long monologue, replete with as much name-dropping as possible, and very little discussion of her craft. Bacall does spend time talking about To Have and Have Not, but most of her other film work is simply glossed over or mentioned in passing. The book reads more like a society memoir from someone who dabbled in film, rather than that of a serious actress discussing her work. Her theatrical experiences in the '60s/'70s, however, are elaborated on in greater detail, at least.

Much of the book is devoted to Bacall's relationship with Humphrey Bogart, frequently to the exclusion of all else, with the result that it sounds almost hagiographic and obsessive, justifying his drinking and rationalizing other behaviors. It's clear from the get-go that Bacall was influenced enormously by her relationships with other people - from her mother and uncle early in life, through Bogie, and later others like Frank Sinatra, Katherine Hepburn, Adlai Stevenson, and Jason Robards. She frequently goes on an on, almost on a stream of consciousness level, about minor encounters, which can often feel as though a cinematographer has just taken the camera and veered it off of the stars to focus on a random blurry extra in the background.

The unfortunate take away I got from By Myself was of a rather spoiled celebrity, who achieved stardom in her late teens without much in the way of strenuous effort or sacrifice, and proceeded to live in something of a bubble for the rest of her life. She seems utterly mystified by people with whom she disagreed, and fiercely - even blithely - defensive of people about whom she cared. Perhaps I was coming in to the book with the wrong expectations; I'd been hoping to hear at length about her work in the movies, but films like Key Largo, Designing Woman or How to Marry a Millionaire merit only about a page or two each, and are hardly detailed or revelatory. So if you're looking for a book about the Bogie/Bacall relationship in its entirety, on an almost day-to-day level, this book will certainly fill that need. But if you're looking for a retrospective on Bacall's work as an actress, you'll need to keep looking.

[Izzie Flynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recall glancing at reviews before i started reading this one. Admittedly i was surprised by the people who mention that she's "name dropping" and not talking about her children in a lot of detail. My first comment: I think its great that she is sharing the names of everyone she met and everyone she knew. Why not? These people helped shape her to who she was. The wonderful woman we know and love. Supported her when she needed it most. Name dropping, in an autobiography of a legend, should not be considered a negative. She lived in a time when everyone, for the most part, appreciated one another and could admire respectfully each others talents. Be friends. Not at all common in a lot of theatre/film nowadays, its all about being on top and dragging each other down. Talking about each other behind backs. Chaplins' autobiography name drops too, but its interesting to see who met and knew who. Second: I think she mentions her children an appropriate amount, its obvious that she wouldn't go into deep private detail because they are her kids. So i can fully understand that.

My personal opinion of this book is that it is what it is. Brilliant. Honest. Worth it. I loved it. You see the side of her that is just wonderful and natural.
It is such a huge shame that we have lost her and i will think of her even more fondly after reading this. What an incredible and strong woman she was. Regardless of whether she knew it or not. She talks so openly and directly. When i finished reading i felt i had lived with her through all her troubles and been there for the good times too.

I recommend this, highly. Give it a go and you won't be sorry. If not?

Your own loss.

[Ivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ms Bacall is an earnest writer and I was pleased with her well written memoirs which begins with a brief background of her family and ends with life as a single middle aged woman with two marriages behind her.

She has a very dry, witty way of describing her memoirs at times superficially going over some aspects while going in-depth on others. Her relationship with Bogie was really the biggest part of this book and I was pleased to get to know the man through her eyes. Quite a character he was and she was fair in her description warts and all. She tributes Bogie for shaping the woman that she would become. Per Bacall, he was the adult to the young, inexperienced girl she was and molded her into the strong willed woman she later became, often patiently taking her crushes on other men in stride. She was in awe of his strength and self-confidence and, even though he fulfilled a father figure aspect, he was also her greatest love.

The other tour de force was her mother whom Betty loved dearly. Her best friend, confidante and one-woman cheering squad was both mother and father to Betty after the marriage fell apart when Betty was very young. The closeness they shared gave Betty a firm and loving foundation. Natalie Weinstein-Bacal believed in her daughter's ability to make it big and wasn't at all surprised when she did. Her loss in Betty's later years was so heartbreakingly told that it was impossible not to feel sympathy for her grief.

Doomed relationships with Frank Sinatra (a total pig) and Jason Robards (a drunk...more so than Bogie) and her memoirs of work onstage complete this well written narrative.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

While a fan of black and white movies and the stars that appeared in them, Bacall is an actress that seems to have passed me by. Her biography explores her dream and aspirations of being a star - her struggles and hours to effort to get noticed and seen. Her engaging and witty writing style makes you feel like you're having a conversation with an old friend. I just loved her expressiveness and openness of her love affair and marriage to Bogart, nevertheless his untimely death is heartbreaking to read.

Yet By Myself resulted in having more questions left to be asked, her role of mother and actress seem to jar - actress coming off time and time again as her favorite, yet consonantly questioning why her children might have had issues or been distant with her, declaring her life was spent on too many other peoples demands when all the time it seemed acting was everything.

Overall it's an enjoyable read, it seemed to fade out a little after Bogart's death, lovers came and were mentioned, plays named. I'll admit the last forty or so pages were a bit of a hard slog.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Talent's no good in a living room. You've got to go out there and do it."

One of my favorite memoirs! There is no real storyline here, just recounts of what happened through her years of finding stardom, falling in love with Humphrey Bogart, and her life after his death. Many years are covered but the reader gets a front row seat at one of the great actresses from the golden age through her victories and struggles. Her opinions and her growth through different phases in life help see her in a completely different light. The way she speaks about Bogie's death is beautifully tragic - they had a complicated love story and her emotions show deeply in her written words. You won't find much about motherhood or her children, this book primarily focuses on her early life, career, marriage, and widowhood and is definitely pointed towards a different era in history - but honestly, that was perfect for me, a struggling actress who was born in the wrong era, I ate up every word. If your'e an old Hollywood fan, you'll love it. Others may differ.

[Roni Blanche · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a life she had! Told as if you were friends sharing a chat over cocktails, Lauren (aka Betty) recounts her incredible adventures from modeling, to learning how to act right on the stage and later on the big screen, to her many famous boyfriends/husbands. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Bogie, but Lauren's intimate portrait of the man and their life together turned that spot into a huge crush and practically hero worship for how true he lived his life and taught her to live hers. All of the old Hollywood and Rat Pack back stories and gossipy tidbits sweetened what was already a can't-put-down memoir.

I heard about the book from a list of the best memoirs to entertain yourself with during the pandemic lockdown. The original hardback was not easy to find, and the copy I did find turned out to be rather a moldy oldie. But once I cracked open the cover, I was transported into being Lauren's confidante and a witness to a life so spectacular even she couldn't have imagined it. I'm a memoir junkie, and this is one of the best I've read!

[Deborah Hagler Wong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had read this before - twice! - since it was first published, and wanted to read it again, after Lauren Bacall passed away, to get new perspective. This is the type of book that I have difficulty putting down, as Bacall's storytelling style kept me turning the pages. My favorite part of the book concerned Lauren's - Betty's - romance and life with Humphrey Bogart, including the ups and downs of that once-in-a-lifetime love. With all of the extra chapters on her political activities during the oppressive blacklisting years, Bogart's decline in health, other romances, and her stage career - this book is possibly the most engaging of her autobiographies. I think that is in large part because she was describing her experiences through the nostalgic glow of her youth. My recommendation is that if you read Bacall's autobiographies, do so chronologically. If you start with "By Myself", you will be more encouraged to read the others.

[Marsha Valance · Rating 4 out of 5]

The epitome of grace, independence, and wit, Lauren Bacall continues to astound generations with her audacious spirit and on-screen excellence. Together with Humphrey Bogart she produced some of the most electric scenes in movie history, and their romance on and off screen made them one of Hollywood's most celebrated couple. But when Bogart died of cancer in 1957, Bacall and their children had to take everything he had taught them and grow up fast. In a time of postwar communism, Hollywood blacklisting, and revolutionary politics, she mixed with the legends: Hemingway, the Oliviers, Katharine Hepburn, Bobby Kennedy, and Gregory Peck. She was engaged to Frank Sinatra and had a turbulent second marriage to Jason Robards. But Bacall never lost sight of the strength that made her a superstar, and she never lost sight of Bogie. National Book Award for Autobiography (Hardcover) (1980).

[Laura McChristian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Been trying to read this book since the sixth grade, and I finally did it on my Christmas vacation, almost 35 years later. It all started with a critic comparing Ford and Fisher (Star Wars) to Bogie and Bacall, and then there was that Bertie Higgins song, so I bought this at the local used bookstore in my hometown and then I've carried it around all this time. A few months ago I got the audio version of "By Myself and Then Some" for a bargain on Chirp and I of course had to read this one first. I understand now why Bacall's film career is sparse - she didn't want to make crappy movies, and that's understandable when you're Mrs. Humphrey Bogart. I loved her story, and can't wait to hear the second half, especially since she's reading it. A class act, and I'm sorry she's gone.

[Janski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly well-written and engaging autobiography of Betty "Lauren" Bacall. The book contains highly interesting "behind-the-scenes" information about the theatre and film-making, and the stress of both. Bacall describes the contrasts between New York and Los Angeles in the 1940s and 50s so well, using small things as examples. You come to know and root for her family and friends, but she doesn't gloss them over: she describes their foibles as well as her own. The illness and death of the wonderful Humphrey Bogart is heartbreaking, as is her youthful struggle to cope with both his love and his loss.

[Marianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn't a work of great literature, but as biographies go, bless Lauren Bacall's heart for writing this forthright memoir. Nice for fans of classic cinema and midcentury Broadway shows to get an inside view without the venom and hype of tabloid news. Bacall was a versatile star in her own right, but her telling of her dozen years with Bogart was lovely; his death was heartwrenching. I have always been a fan of both artists, and am now an even greater fan.

It's well written and Bacall was either a very good writer or had a very good editor. I doubt that many of todays influencers could write a memoir of this caliber.