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May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss
The wave of liberalization in the 1990s changed forever the face of India. It bolstered the economy. It raised the stock index. It raised hem lines of skirts even more. It led to the growth of the fashion police And also the moral police. Numbered items became item numbers. To the twenty-two scheduled languages were added C, Cobol, Java. You were either watching sitcoms or starting dotcoms. News became entertainment. Entertainment became news. Terror struck the country – sometimes in the form of gunmen from across the border and sometimes in the form of Bollywood movies. To SMS-ize – ‘It wuz da best of tyms, it wuz da wrst of tyms’ Having been a part of this chaotic revolution in popular culture, blogger Arnab Ray of greatbong.net takes a funny, sarcastic, politically incorrect and totally irreverent look at assorted random stuff including Bollywood C-grade revenge masalas, ribald songs of the people, movie punching, fake educational institutes, stubborn bathroom flushes, unreal reality shows, the benefits of corruption, opulent weddings, brains in toaster ovens, seedy theatres and pompous non-resident Indians.Nothing here is off-limits and no cow too holy.We guarantee it
243 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 2010
13 people are currently reading
106 people want to read
About the author
Arnab Ray
14 books120 followersArnab Ray, better known as Greatbong, is one of India's most widely read bloggers who blogs at Random Thoughts Of A Demented Mind. He is known for his sarcastic takes on the Indian film industry, Indian politics and society in general. His blog was awarded the "Indiblog of the Year" at Indibloggies in 2006[1] and 2008. He has written for several media outlets like the Washington Post, Outlook magazine and Live Mint. He graduated from Jadavpur University as a Bachelor in Computer Science and Engineering and went on to finish his PhD in Computer Science from State University of New York at Stony Brook. He is presently employed as a research scientist at the University of Maryland and resides in the suburbs of Washington DC. His first book "May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss", published by Harper Collins, was on India Today's Bestsellers list.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
January 6, 2016
Yawn. Skip the book. Read the blog.
March 20, 2016
Like many others, I picked up d book bcoz I m a fan of d author greatbong's blogs. But, suprisingly this book is barely passable. The blogs were way sharper and the book is a clumsy high-school kid's attempt. The chapter on marriage is perhaps d worst comic (or otherwise) piece I ve ever read. Wonder, if it has been ghost-written !
Avoid even if u r a fan.
Avoid even if u r a fan.
April 6, 2015
Hilarious. This book will only appeal to Indians who spent their childhood in the glorious 90s
April 22, 2010
Blogger extraordinaire GreatBong's long awaited book is the stuff that LOLs and ROTFLs are made of. Some parts are a drawl, especially his take on his marriage. GB comes into his own when he writes about the raison d'etre of his blog, Prabhuji and 90's Bollywood. The story about the moral police is your chance to flex those muscles, the ones surrounding your teeth. A caveat, if you're a regular follower of GB, this book may not bring much fresh material. GB is unmatched at the brand of humor that thrives on hypertext. In print, he's good, but we've read better.
November 24, 2011
Skip the book. Read the blog.
August 8, 2024
It is an interesting book portraying the life around each sphere of human activity. I enjoyed reading the experiences and opinions shared by the author.
If you want to know about the political, social, and other human indulgences during the 1970s and 1980s in India or abroad, you can go through this book.
If you want to know about the political, social, and other human indulgences during the 1970s and 1980s in India or abroad, you can go through this book.
September 15, 2025
Nicely penned nostalgia from the late 80s to early 90s India. Humour, sadism and wit beautifully portrayed into literature.
July 20, 2015
A book for the Indian children of the 60s and 70s. The author rambles on about different topics and most of the children born during this period will be able to relate to what the author has to say.
From politics to to sex to Bollywood.
In a chapter on moral policing by certain groups in the various cities of India the author gives the compilation of euphemistic words in the modern world.
Some of these are as follows:
Barber: Hairdresser
Tailor: Fashion Designer
Bank Robber: Investment Banker
Pickpocket: Economic Offender
Mujra: Item Number
Incorrigible gossip: Blogger
Spousal Abuse: S & M
Terrorist: Misguided youth
Wife/Husband: Partner
Casting couch: Talent show
and the best
Code Coolie: Software Engineer
About setting up one's own B-School
In one of the chapters he sarcastically about how anyone can setup their own B-School. In one place he asks a pertinent question about the existing MBA awarding institutes: "Should we measure these institutes measure by the package of its graduates? Or should we be asking instead: Have the graduates of these prestigious institutes changed the world? Well have they? The answer is a resounding 'no'. While a few may have brought in a revolution, or half, most of them have done little except prepare reports, made presentations, attend meetings, shout at subordinates and pocket a fat bonus. Most MBA graduates will tend to disagree with the above statement and many of these institutes would be glad to continue to be judged by the salaries their graduates get as they get out of their institutes than what happens to them after 5 - 10 years or what meaningful changes they bring about in the world.
He also observes that the students are not taught to dream. So that when they graduate they know how to valuate complex derivatives but know absolutely nothing about imagining and dreaming. He then goes on to say how he will market his institute as being an institute whose USP will be to teach the students to Dream.
He says how having management "Gurus" to speak for his institute will help, but he goes on to say that if a rival institute pays more then the "Guru" will change parties and start speaking eloquent about the rival. As an alternate he suggests that the owner herself should create an image of a "Management Guru". How? To quote the author himself "The most important criterion for a management guru is that all his statements have to sound very deep and be delightfully vague. Deep and vague statements have an instinctive aura of profoundness about them that instantaneously impresses.
This is what I call the 'Emperor's new clothes' syndrome. This derives it name from the famous fairy tale where even though the citizens see that the emperor is naked they applaud his clothes because they have been told the clothes are such that only the wise can be see them. This is no doubt a very powerful socio-psychological instrument which any management guru worth his name has to take advantage of. The entire avant-garde art industry owes its profits to it. If peple did not go 'waah waah' over a blank canvas with a dab of red paint on it or over a soiled toilet seat in an exhibition just because they have been told that this is high art, where would modern artists be?"
One whole chapter is about the tribulations that he went through during the marriage ceremony. In this chapter he states "My first realization was that an Indian marriage ceremony is intentionally kept lengthy and torturous so that no one in their right mind would ever want to get married twice. That is the problem with the western marriages: they are too short and painless."
One chapter is dedicated to how Bollywood has changed over the years. Some his observations which I enjoyed. "Kareena Kapoor's name in Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham is Pooja but being oh so la la modern she prefers people call her "Poo", trying to be with it but perhaps unware that poo typically means excreta ejected through the anal orfice.
In Love Story 2050, the hero tells the heroine hep-ly and ultra coolly. "Tumhari life hai na, its like hotdog without a sausage", the sexual imagery being unintentionally Freudian". I confess. I just do not get the new internationalized wannabe Bollywood, a world of burgers, fries, Coke, tank-tops and faux accented American English. Just like I do not get SMS English and why people spell come as cum and then use cum in sentences like 'Why don't you and our misses cum together?'.
Maybe I am too old-fashioned. Maybe I am too uncool. Maybe I yearn for those days in which tickets could be bought for Rs. 20, when the pickpockets would jostle you at the entrance and not clear your pocket legally at the soda-popcorn stand."
Definitely a good read for the Indians born and brought up India during the same era as the author.
From politics to to sex to Bollywood.
In a chapter on moral policing by certain groups in the various cities of India the author gives the compilation of euphemistic words in the modern world.
Some of these are as follows:
Barber: Hairdresser
Tailor: Fashion Designer
Bank Robber: Investment Banker
Pickpocket: Economic Offender
Mujra: Item Number
Incorrigible gossip: Blogger
Spousal Abuse: S & M
Terrorist: Misguided youth
Wife/Husband: Partner
Casting couch: Talent show
and the best
Code Coolie: Software Engineer
About setting up one's own B-School
In one of the chapters he sarcastically about how anyone can setup their own B-School. In one place he asks a pertinent question about the existing MBA awarding institutes: "Should we measure these institutes measure by the package of its graduates? Or should we be asking instead: Have the graduates of these prestigious institutes changed the world? Well have they? The answer is a resounding 'no'. While a few may have brought in a revolution, or half, most of them have done little except prepare reports, made presentations, attend meetings, shout at subordinates and pocket a fat bonus. Most MBA graduates will tend to disagree with the above statement and many of these institutes would be glad to continue to be judged by the salaries their graduates get as they get out of their institutes than what happens to them after 5 - 10 years or what meaningful changes they bring about in the world.
He also observes that the students are not taught to dream. So that when they graduate they know how to valuate complex derivatives but know absolutely nothing about imagining and dreaming. He then goes on to say how he will market his institute as being an institute whose USP will be to teach the students to Dream.
He says how having management "Gurus" to speak for his institute will help, but he goes on to say that if a rival institute pays more then the "Guru" will change parties and start speaking eloquent about the rival. As an alternate he suggests that the owner herself should create an image of a "Management Guru". How? To quote the author himself "The most important criterion for a management guru is that all his statements have to sound very deep and be delightfully vague. Deep and vague statements have an instinctive aura of profoundness about them that instantaneously impresses.
This is what I call the 'Emperor's new clothes' syndrome. This derives it name from the famous fairy tale where even though the citizens see that the emperor is naked they applaud his clothes because they have been told the clothes are such that only the wise can be see them. This is no doubt a very powerful socio-psychological instrument which any management guru worth his name has to take advantage of. The entire avant-garde art industry owes its profits to it. If peple did not go 'waah waah' over a blank canvas with a dab of red paint on it or over a soiled toilet seat in an exhibition just because they have been told that this is high art, where would modern artists be?"
One whole chapter is about the tribulations that he went through during the marriage ceremony. In this chapter he states "My first realization was that an Indian marriage ceremony is intentionally kept lengthy and torturous so that no one in their right mind would ever want to get married twice. That is the problem with the western marriages: they are too short and painless."
One chapter is dedicated to how Bollywood has changed over the years. Some his observations which I enjoyed. "Kareena Kapoor's name in Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham is Pooja but being oh so la la modern she prefers people call her "Poo", trying to be with it but perhaps unware that poo typically means excreta ejected through the anal orfice.
In Love Story 2050, the hero tells the heroine hep-ly and ultra coolly. "Tumhari life hai na, its like hotdog without a sausage", the sexual imagery being unintentionally Freudian". I confess. I just do not get the new internationalized wannabe Bollywood, a world of burgers, fries, Coke, tank-tops and faux accented American English. Just like I do not get SMS English and why people spell come as cum and then use cum in sentences like 'Why don't you and our misses cum together?'.
Maybe I am too old-fashioned. Maybe I am too uncool. Maybe I yearn for those days in which tickets could be bought for Rs. 20, when the pickpockets would jostle you at the entrance and not clear your pocket legally at the soda-popcorn stand."
Definitely a good read for the Indians born and brought up India during the same era as the author.
December 22, 2016
If you are a regular reader of Arnab’s Blog you will obviously like it but if you have never read his blog earlier, you will be hooked to it from now on. Thoroughly witty and humorous especially for the generation that grew up in 80s. Senseless yet funny; the professor in a class in the 24th century explaining his pupils about the concept of Bait & Switch in the memorable songs like “Hum to Tambu mein Bambu lagaye baithe” or like “Padosan apni murgi to rakha sambhal mera murga hua hai deewana”, the amazing experience of Poltu when he went to watch a movie, the Grand Indian Bengali Wedding of Arnab (and you think only you suffered in your wedding). The best chapters as expected were the ones based on Bollywood. You will know more about Gunda - the best creation in the celluloid history of Indian Cinema (or rather World cinema), about the avant-garde film like Aatish which explored the concept of “you now what” long before Brokeback mountain was released. Your child doesn’t listen to you and care a damn to your warning when you tell him that he will become a good for nothing clerk if he doesn’t mend his ways, well either show him the Manoj Kumar’s chef-d'oeuvre ‘Clerk’ but if it is too difficult to find a VCD for that then make him read this book in which Arnab has explained his own metamorphosis from a careless student to a diligent one after watching this Gem…
How to start your own business school, how to write Hindi TV serials, NRI Aunties…these are also interesting satires but I would desist using adjectives like Superb, extraordinary for these as I am not a paid reviewer of Great Bong.
And ofcourse you don’t want me to tell you more about the chapters of this book, after all as Kulbhusan Kharbanda has uttered in a super duper hit movie and which arnab has also used in the book, “kuch baatein (pause) Gupt rahnee chahiye”.
Posted 12th July 2011
How to start your own business school, how to write Hindi TV serials, NRI Aunties…these are also interesting satires but I would desist using adjectives like Superb, extraordinary for these as I am not a paid reviewer of Great Bong.
And ofcourse you don’t want me to tell you more about the chapters of this book, after all as Kulbhusan Kharbanda has uttered in a super duper hit movie and which arnab has also used in the book, “kuch baatein (pause) Gupt rahnee chahiye”.
Posted 12th July 2011
April 7, 2012
Just started this book today. Though his style better suits blog, in book I felt it rather loud, shouting for attention...
Read it only if you are in a flight with no movie, no other good book to read and you can not sleep either. Partially witty, mostly boring :( Make sure you will NEVER pay for it!
A hilarious look at India of '90's and the frustration of middle class in general - that is what the book promised. The author's note say the only one who is going to get entertained or profited is him! He respectfully pities his readers ;) I respect him for his frankness here... In fact he was true to it, the book was totally waste of time. Pay for the book - don't even think about it...
The book did evoke a laugh or two. But the pattern was so repetitive. Very predictable. After two chapter into the book, he got nothing new to provide. He was crying for our attention. Forcing a laugh ( and fails). This book was an extension of his blog. And sadly, the style fits only blog. We can not compile the movie reviews or television guide and claim it a book...
When I told my friend that the book is boring, she told me it is a ‘must read and throw’ type of book! The one which should not be kept in our collection! That could be true. It is so hideos. But wondering how the guys at Harper Collins were convinced about this book... I mean the guys who publish Paulo Coelho....
http://readbetweenbooks.blogspot.in/2...
Read it only if you are in a flight with no movie, no other good book to read and you can not sleep either. Partially witty, mostly boring :( Make sure you will NEVER pay for it!
A hilarious look at India of '90's and the frustration of middle class in general - that is what the book promised. The author's note say the only one who is going to get entertained or profited is him! He respectfully pities his readers ;) I respect him for his frankness here... In fact he was true to it, the book was totally waste of time. Pay for the book - don't even think about it...
The book did evoke a laugh or two. But the pattern was so repetitive. Very predictable. After two chapter into the book, he got nothing new to provide. He was crying for our attention. Forcing a laugh ( and fails). This book was an extension of his blog. And sadly, the style fits only blog. We can not compile the movie reviews or television guide and claim it a book...
When I told my friend that the book is boring, she told me it is a ‘must read and throw’ type of book! The one which should not be kept in our collection! That could be true. It is so hideos. But wondering how the guys at Harper Collins were convinced about this book... I mean the guys who publish Paulo Coelho....
http://readbetweenbooks.blogspot.in/2...
June 22, 2010
Readers of the blog http://greatbong.net need no introduction to the writing style of it’s author Arnab.
Arnab’s book is just like his blog: direct, dripping with sarcasm, intelligent remarks and a remarkably (and sometimes unsettlingly) honest way of looking at India.
The book brought back memories of growing up in the India of 90s. The book isn’t about one particular subject: it is about sharing the ideas, turmoil and experiences that one accepted as part of life then. Right from the manner in which the Internet changed the way Indians ‘entertained’ themselves to the manner in how scripts for daily television soaps are written today. He discusses, with much humour pointed at himself, the great Indian wedding (in his case, the great Bengali wedding).
The reason why you may like this book, as Arnab himself explains in the prologue, is because he hasn’t tried to be un-authentic. He hasn’t tried to gloss over the shortcomings, neither has he discounted the pride that we feel in being Indians.
This is a book which while sitting on the book shelf, cries out in a very uniquely Indian voice “May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss”.
Arnab’s book is just like his blog: direct, dripping with sarcasm, intelligent remarks and a remarkably (and sometimes unsettlingly) honest way of looking at India.
The book brought back memories of growing up in the India of 90s. The book isn’t about one particular subject: it is about sharing the ideas, turmoil and experiences that one accepted as part of life then. Right from the manner in which the Internet changed the way Indians ‘entertained’ themselves to the manner in how scripts for daily television soaps are written today. He discusses, with much humour pointed at himself, the great Indian wedding (in his case, the great Bengali wedding).
The reason why you may like this book, as Arnab himself explains in the prologue, is because he hasn’t tried to be un-authentic. He hasn’t tried to gloss over the shortcomings, neither has he discounted the pride that we feel in being Indians.
This is a book which while sitting on the book shelf, cries out in a very uniquely Indian voice “May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss”.
January 21, 2012
Always liked Arnab's writing from his blogs. Full of satire and fun, he tackles almost all kinds of issues with aplomb. His area of specializations would be Prabhuji, B and C grade movies and videos and NRIs. This book is more of a collected thoughts originating from his blog. Extremely enjoyable but its definitely not for all.
November 9, 2014
Yawn.
Apart from a couple of bits (why Indian rate of divorce is low, starting own BSchool, etc) most of the book was fairly boring. It's a light entertainer but really, did offer nothing different.
Kushwant Singh's 'We Indians' is a far better and funnier history of India, although pretty difficult to find.
Apart from a couple of bits (why Indian rate of divorce is low, starting own BSchool, etc) most of the book was fairly boring. It's a light entertainer but really, did offer nothing different.
Kushwant Singh's 'We Indians' is a far better and funnier history of India, although pretty difficult to find.
January 18, 2016
This book is about the changing Indian culture and how bollywood has been the biggest inspiration of people, in other words, the author. How it has shaped the mindsets, thinking and life styles of Indians across the world. Much like his blog, this book is the collection of random thoughts of the great Arnab Ray. Sarcastic and quite hilarious in some parts, it makes a very entertaining read.
April 7, 2011
An excellent book. Enjoyed every part my actual India. I will say its a must read to know the actual India which we know... But when you read, you'll not be able to control your laughter... At least this can make you smile... And I always say: "for one minute of anger, you lose 60 seconds of joy".
December 7, 2011
A giant brain fart from one of my favourite bloggers. It's alright as a book, if you haven't read any of his 'epic' blog posts on kitschy Indian movies from the 80s. Hardcore fans, though, can skip it.
March 7, 2012
caustic wit and satire. must read every Indian. I really appreciate the humor and satire of the writer, the way he expressed his thought will never let you go ennui. The politics, wedding, bollywood and all other things for which we know India. Great work by Mr. Arnab. kudos to the author.
May 20, 2013
Arnab's sarcastic tone is best suited to blogs, where you are exposed to just a few words in a single post put up one-at-a-time very few days. In a book, however, this style feels monotonous and often, forced.
July 14, 2013
It's a blog narrative, and produced in form of a book.
The chapters on Bollywood are fun to read, but the overall pace of book is dragged for fun..
It's an effort to complete the book.. But if nothing to read , then better to sleep than read this book.
The chapters on Bollywood are fun to read, but the overall pace of book is dragged for fun..
It's an effort to complete the book.. But if nothing to read , then better to sleep than read this book.
November 19, 2013
A very good look at the India of the 90s through our pop culture. It's funny in parts and a very quick read. Its a book you'd read on a train journey or on the weekends or during coffee breaks. Rwad for nostalgia amd Gunda :D
November 30, 2010
Very funny book, enjoyed reading it immensely :). The humour and satire blended very well.
May 1, 2011
Wonder why awesome Bloggers never become great authors?
Disappointing.
Disappointing.
August 16, 2011
Written by famous blogger GreatBong. Good, funny and not too far from how things actually are.
October 2, 2011
This Blogger turned Author does not disappoint. Full of Satire, its Arnab's take on Indian Movies to Politics, and Education System to Marriages!
Go for it!
Go for it!
February 21, 2012
GreatBong has always been my fav blogger. This compilation of his most humorous blogs is out of this world. My personal favorite is the one about the adult hotline :)
August 26, 2012
Recommended for anyone with a humor sense, looking for a book with unbiased (read unashamed, witty and sarcastic) view of Indian culture in the nineties.
Some parts are just sheer genius!
Some parts are just sheer genius!
August 30, 2013
Ever stumbled on a blogpost you didn't like? You went to the next blog right... Imagine now having paid to read that blogpost.. What if you do not like it!
October 16, 2012
Amazingly funny book full of exaggeration, puns and sarcasm....loved reading it.
August 6, 2012
some chapters are good
the virtual pencil and board dance is hilarious
the virtual pencil and board dance is hilarious
March 4, 2013
I read three chapters and somehow did not feel like continuing :( I have kept the book aside and will return it soon.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews