The Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team and Other Stories

by Joe R. Lansdale

Find out what sort of game the Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team play. Discover haunted toilets, strange beasts, the hungry dead, weird off-trail shops that sell unique hats and twisted dreams. Spend time with a courageous barber, meet a mythological being that may be part of all our myths, and is well-versed in the various games of shooting marbles. Ghostly cars, ghostly hotels, a shrinking world, gorillas in the yard, a brave and industrious mouse and a less than noble elephant are also here. If that's not enough, meet a highly intelligent monkey with an email account who is desperate to meet his human kinfolk. There are skull collectors, gun slinging demons, a Wendigo, a serial killer, and just to smooth things out, stories of romance. Or failed romance. Certainly, stories of new beginnings. The usual wicked potpourri of Lansdale tales and story notes.

Genres: Horror, Short Stories, Fiction, Westerns, Humor

455 pages, Hardcover

Published January 22, 2024

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[Ben A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewing short story collections is usually a tough task. With Joe R. Lansdale it's a little bit easier for me. Since he is one of my favorite authors, I will read anything he puts out as well as pick up anthologies specifically due to his name of the cover. My incredibly small nitpick is that as I've read more and more of his catalogue, I find myself having already read several of the stories within. With The Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team and Other Stories that wasn't the case. Within its pages were complete new (at least to me) stories. Did I like some more than others? Of course, but they were all very, very good. Lansdale is the Champion Mojo Storyteller for a reason.

Special Thanks to Subterranean Press and Netgalley for the digital ARC. This was given to me for an honest review.

[Benjamin Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joe R. Lansdale has always been one of my go-to authors when I need something “different.” In this book, he mentions that he likes writing both novels and short stories but if he had to choose, he would write only short stories. His love for the form is on full display here and this collection offers some of his best.

Contrary to other reviews I’ve seen for this book, these are not new stories. Every one, according to the information at the back of the book, details where and when the stories first appeared. They range from horror ‘zines like “Fangoria” to popular anthologies to fairly obscure places like “Ferrari Magazine”. Quite a few, including the titular story, were originally published in various anthologies edited by Lawrence Block, which is where I first encountered them. Even though published elsewhere, most of these stories are still quite recent with almost all of them originating in the last five years.

As for the stories themselves, they vary widely in subject matter, scope, and from serious to silly. Some are gruesome horror pieces, some are intense crime stories, while others can best be described as fables. It’s hard for me to pick favorites but I think I’ll go with the weird westerns due to my own love for that sub-genre. By the way, I owe that love to Joe Lansdale who was among the first writers to delve into such tales back in the 1980s when such stories were still rare. As with any anthology, I enjoyed some of these stories more than others, but I can honestly say, there isn’t a stinker in the bunch.

Lansdale fans will love this collection from Subterranean Press while those looking for a nice variety of high-quality, thoroughly enjoyable stories should absolutely check it out. It is due to be published in January, 2024.

Thanks to Netgallery and Subterranean Press for a free advanced digital copy of this book in return for an honest review.

[Matt Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still got it

Possibly Lansdale's best stem-to-stern short fiction collection since HIGH COTTON, I'm pretty sure his first in quite a while comprised entirely of new/previously uncollected material; still wielding words like rusty straight razors, as sharp and precise as ever all the way into his 80s, always in that unmistakable Lansdale way, yet still finding new ways to keep it fresh. Talk about an aspirational legacy!

[Evan Ladouceur · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am fairly new to Joe Lansdale but am consistently impressed by his very readable prose, his deftness at setting mood, and his fantastic ear for dialogue. This excellent long collection of stories includes many that are eerie and unsettling, which in a very compressed story really evoke tension. Many are set in different eras, and Lansdale is very effective at capturing a setting. I liked each story, with the curiously humane and upbeat title story standing out. Other winners include opener The Hungry Snow, an eerie and harsh Western, and the splendid The Hoodoo Man and the Midnight Train. Every page is worth reading.

[David Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ll indulge me for a hot minute, I’d like to talk about my history with short stories. I’ve been a reader of science fiction and fantasy since I picked up I, Robot and The Martian Chronicles from my Junior High library the first week of 7th grade. And while those were both novels (although I could argue that The Martian Chronicles is really a collection of interconnected short stories, but I digress), I quickly discovered that there was breathtaking variety in the many science fiction and fantasy short story anthologies available. I devoured them all—Damon Knight’s Orbit series, Terry Carr’s Universe series, Harlan Ellison’s Dangerous Visions and Again, Dangerous Visions, and all the many, many one-off anthologies (most of which seemed to be edited by Roger Elwood). And of course the many magazines, particularly The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. I discovered a multitude of writers in this way, writers I still love to this day.

What’s that got to do with the book I’m supposed to be writing about here? Hang on, I’m getting there. As I got older, I gravitated more to novels, with only occasional forays into short stories. But lately that’s been changing. Here’s my point:

It’s been a good year for short stories. After a quick look, I’ve read and reviewed five short story collections this year, all of them excellent. Here’s my second point, and I’m finally bringing it around to why you’re here:

It’s been a downright great year for Joe R. Lansdale fans. My first review of the year was Bleeding Shadows, a nicely chonky collection of his short stories that demonstrated his versatility and range. Then came The Donut Legion, Lansdale’s wildly entertaining novel of donuts, murder, and flying saucer cults. In August we were treated to Things Get Ugly: The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale, another wonderful collection of short stories that concentrated on, well, crime stories.

And now, arriving November 1st, The Senior Girls Bayonet Team and Other Stories, another nicely chonky short story collection. If anything, this collection is even more varied and wide-ranging than Bleeding Shadows, with longer stories and flash fiction (although they weren’t called that back when Lansdale wrote them). One of the beautiful things about Lansdale, one of the things that makes him my favorite writer, is that he can’t be easily categorized. He jumps from crime fiction, to horror, to fantasy, to weird westerns, to truly oddball satire, too, in this collection, some downbeat, slice of life (dare I say) literary fiction.

You find all that and more here in The Senior Girls Bayonet Team and Other Stories—there’s truly something for everyone, and all of it pure catnip for Lansdale fans.

I’d like to call out just a couple of my favorites:
• THE HUNGRY SNOW—A long, dark-as-pitch weird western with a taste of the Donner Party.
• MONKEY’S UNCLE—Narrated by an intelligent monkey, and that’s all I’m telling you.
• ON THE MUDDY BANKS OF THE OLD SABINE—This one would have been right at home in Things Get Ugly.
• RED BILLIE—I love when Lansdale delves into coming-of-age stories, and this is one of his best.
• THE HOODOO MAN AND THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN—Another weird western, one Lansdale considers his best in that genre.

Bottom line—this is a must-read for Lansdale fans, and for fans of short stories in general. And the cherry on top, the book ends with Lansdale’s extensive, generous story notes, which I personally love.

The Senior Girls Bayonet Team and Other Stories is available for pre-order now. Don’t miss it.

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

📚 Book Review: “The Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team and Other Stories” by Joe R. Lansdale

Joe R. Lansdale, the maestro of twisted tales, invites readers into a carnival of the bizarre with his latest collection, “The Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team and Other Stories.” Buckle up, because this literary rollercoaster takes unexpected turns, leaving you both exhilarated and slightly unnerved.

Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team: Picture a group of high school girls, bayonets in hand, marching to their own rhythm. Lansdale weaves a tale that’s part coming-of-age, part horror, and wholly unforgettable. These girls aren’t your average cheerleaders; they’re a force to be reckoned with.

Haunted Toilets and Strange Beasts: Lansdale’s imagination knows no bounds. He introduces us to haunted restrooms, where the porcelain gods harbor secrets darker than their ceramic exteriors. And those strange beasts? Well, let’s just say they’re not your typical woodland creatures.

Off-Trail Shops and Unique Hats: Ever stumbled upon a shop that defies reality? Lansdale takes us on a detour to quirky establishments selling hats that whisper secrets and dreams. Wear one, and you’ll never see the world the same way again.

The Mythological Marbles Player: Forget chess grandmasters; meet the mythological being who dominates the marble circuit. Lansdale’s prose dances between whimsy and profundity as we witness this marble maestro’s victories and defeats.

Ghostly Cars and Shrinking Worlds: Lansdale’s stories straddle dimensions. Buckle up for spectral road trips, where vintage cars carry passengers to the afterlife. And beware—the world might shrink around you, leaving you questioning reality.

The Intelligent Monkey with an Email Account: Move over, AI. Lansdale introduces us to a monkey with a Gmail address, desperate to connect with its human relatives. The inbox is filled with banana emojis and existential musings.

Wendigos, Serial Killers, and Failed Romance: Lansdale’s wicked potpourri includes everything from mythical creatures to chilling murderers. But don’t worry; there’s room for love too—albeit with a twist.

“The Senior Girls Bayonet Drill Team and Other Stories” is a sideshow of wonders. Lansdale’s prose is sharp, his characters unforgettable, and his imagination boundless. So grab your ticket, enter the tent, and prepare for a literary ride you won’t soon forget.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an eclectic set of short stories from master story teller Joe R. Lansdale. Some are very short while others are near novella length. Right off the bat let me say unequivocally that there is not a bad one in the bunch; from Weird Western to edge of your seat nightmarish horror to dystopian school games to more unusual tales that fall somewhere along the lines of esoteric thought experiment. It's all good and there's almost certainly something for every reader. I especially like the author comments on the origins of each of the various stories. It's always interesting to me to get insight into the creative process.

I'm not sure but I believe all the stories in this book have been previously published in one form or another. Some I've read before and some I haven't, so it was both familiar and new to me. I should probably state at this point that I am not a huge fan of the horror genre in general but I've been a fan of the impossible to categorize, genre-hopping, mashup style of Joe R. Lansdale from way, way back. Mostly I prefer his crime oriented stuff but Lansdale just has a way of telling a story, an authentic folklorist style that is so rare these days... I firmly believe that if he put his mind to it Joe R. Lansdale could make a grocery list that was an entertaining (and compelling) read.

Needless to say, I enjoyed this collection. The eye-catching cover art is sensational but the content is even better. Great for both longtime fans and those new to the author (You're in for a treat!)

BOTTOM LINE: Good stuff. Recommended.

[John Bruni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another excellent collection of Lansdale stories. I only read 2 of them previously! Of the rest of them, I can't say there's a stinker in the joint. My favorite is probably "The Hoodoo Man and the Midnight Train," as I'm a huge fan of the weird western tale. That one has the potential for a series, and it looks like per the story notes he's thinking about actually doing that. Then there's "Camel," which made me laugh quite a bit. Almost as much as "Monkey's Uncle," which was more of a nervous laughter. Don't do it, man! Don't do it! "Gorillas in the Yard" is another favorite. I really like the short bizarro tales. To know why I like this one so much, you kinda have to know me. Whenever I come across a person who lacks the ability to introspect, it baffles me, and this story is all about that.

The titular story is pretty good, too. Not nearly as violent as I was expecting. Apparently there's a more violent version in Lansdale's head, but this one is probably better, considering the ending.

Do I have to tell you that I highly recommend this one?

[Ron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Lansdale has done it again! He has gathered another collection of his short stories, some of which has appeared in various anthologies, into on volume with author notes setting out some of their origins or just his comments on the story and why he felt drawn to write them. Especially interesting is the notes on the title story which did not go the way I expected at all. A number of the stories are short or very short, but they each have their own impact. Some of the characters may or may not show up in future stories. So if you want to sample or just revel in the diversity of Joe Lansdale's story telling, pick up this title!

Thanks Netgalley for the chance to read this book!

[Tim Hicks · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of horror-terror-spooky, some funny, some icky, some both. Many are clever too.

Some of the stories are WAY over the top nasty, not that there's anything wrong with that, but You Have Been Warned. If you've been watching chainsaw/facemask horror movies you'll be fine.

One consistent thread - Joe clearly enjoys writing this stuff. There's humour in with the horror, and soe wonderful phrases like "so short she could walk under a kitchen table with a hat on."

[Bryan Davenport · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can I not give this 5 stars. Not only was this rare book a treat to get in the mail after my artery exploded, went into a coma, and had a stroke but it just hit my favorite for the year. It’s a mixture of old and new short stories by Lansdale. What really nails it home is he explains where all of these stories came from and how old they are. I would have been done so much sooner but the stroke brain is slow

[B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this collection of new short stories by Joe Lansdale, I always like what he writes. This had a very large variety of stories. Some were crime, others horror, and others uncategorized but all were very great and kept me wanting more. Thanks to Netgalley and Subterranean Press for the ARC.

[Tim Hayden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply my favorite author. Great introduction to the many different genres he writes in. My highest recommendation

[Lyle Boylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great collection of Lansdale stories.

[Kay Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some scary stories, some sweet, most of them a bit odd. Some weird westerns too. Probably 4 1/2 stars but Joe's a reliable and likeable writer so 5 stars.