Parenting ASD Teens: A Guide to Making it Up As You Go

by Andrew Schlegelmilch

A straight-talking guide to parenting teenagers on the autism spectrum, this book offers a school psychologist's perspective on coping with the issues that can arise during the difficult adolescent years. Andrew Schlegelmilch draws on his experiences working as Head Psychologist at a college preparatory school for teens on the spectrum to provide savvy advice on common parenting challenges including falling grades, adolescent tantrums, relationships with authority figures and peers, sex and sexuality, social media safety, mental health issues, and the transition to life after high school. Integral to the discussion is how to set realistic expectations and encourage independence in ways that work for both the child and the rest of the family, as well as how to get the most out of the professionals that you work with.

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Stop · Rating 1 out of 5]

I know this man. He was the only 'school therapist' at my son's special education 8-12 grade school. The entire time he "counseled" our kids at Orion Academy, he was isolating them, and once alone, was saying terribly inappropriate (abusive) things to them. He made strong psychological suggestions to them that attacked their fragile self-esteem. Things like "if you don't pass your final you will be homeless", "I don't believe you are being bullied, I think you made it up for attention", "you guys think you're funny, no autistic person is. You need to stop your attempt at humor". He hated the kids at that school and made it really clear by his hostility and lack of empathy. He picked on kids he didn't like (especially the LGBTQ ones). I saw him frequently acting with anger towards young impressionable teenagers, who through no fault of their own had trouble focusing. He never understood Autism Spectrum adolescents, not who these kids really are.

I would be very, very cautious taking his advice on anything that might impact a child emotionally. I am not the only parent at Orion who felt this way about him. We were glad when he left, but concerned when we heard he was writing books on our ASD kids.

[Lili · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a worthwhile read, however, it was told from the perspective of a clinician in a learning support school setting. His recommendations are not always relevant to parents whose role is to nurture, encourage, and love the child. His tactics for dealing with problem behaviours might be necessary in a school setting to maintain a schedule and respect all students' learning needs. However, in parenting, I believe a different approach is required for the difficulties that arise with neurodiverse children and particularly sensory processing and executive functioning challenges. His advice in this area, in my opinion, might be unproductive. That said, it is still useful to consider other options and try new ways of doing things and he certainly has the experience to back his claims.

[Amanda Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, one of the most relatable to what we experience with my daughter. Really helpful tips and insight. It is good to know she is not alone and great to hear what we are doing right and also get some advice for what isn't working well.

[Kathy Shreve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent practical advice! This gave me a better sense of how to approach certain teen topics, what is coming, strategies to use, and realistic goals to move toward independence.

[Dani Shuping · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC provided by NetGalley

If you are or know someone that is parent of a ASD (autistum spectrum disorder) kid then this is a must have book. Or if you’re someone that is on the spectrum then this is a book worth picking up and reading for the advice it offers. Dr. Schlegelmilch has created a toolkit that will help ASD kids become independent in the larger world. Schlegelmilch uses compassion, humor, and solid information to document the challenges that people on the spectrum face, as well as the benefits and strengths they have. Much of the information is guided towards their education and surviving school settings (teachers, friends, relationships, bullies, etc.), but it can easily be applied to other areas of their life as well. 4 out of 5 stars.