The Admirer

Ivers & Wilson #1

by Karelia Stetz-Waters

A serial killer "makes" perfect women by amputating their legs. A troubled girl walks knowingly into the killer's arms. An ambitious college president spirals toward madness. Helen Ivers is still reeling from her sister's recent suicide when she takes a position as the president of Pittock College. The isolated campus seems like a good place to recover, but shortly after she arrives, two severed human legs are found bound to the train tracks. The local police explain away the gruesome occurrence, but Helen is convinced the police chief, and maybe the whole town, is covering for a killer. She embarks on her own investigation, but she begins to doubt herself as nightmares of her sister's suicide become waking hallucinations and everyone discounts her fears. The only person who shares her apprehensions is a young professor whose aggressive sexual advances are as frightening and alluring as impending madness - a woman who is either Helen's only ally or the killer.

Genres: Mystery, Romance, LGBT, Fiction, Thriller, Psychological Thriller, Lesbian

370 pages, Paperback

First published January 24, 2013

About the author

Karelia Stetz-Waters remembers a time when happy endings romantic love was a holy grail she thought she would never find. Stories about lesbians all ended tragically. At seventeen, she was certain the best she could hope for was to die nobly for the woman she loved (who would never love her back, of course). Four years later, she saw her true love across a crowded room, and they have been together for twenty-plus years.

Knowing that happily-ever-after is possible for everyone, Stetz-Waters has made it her life’s mission to craft happy endings about women finding true love with other women. She is also on a quest to spread “cliteracy” across the country, using her work as a romance writer to teach readers about female sexual anatomy, desire, and pleasure.

When she’s not shopping for model clitorises or writing love stories, she’s teaching writing at a community college in rural Oregon where her students inspire her every day with their bravery, creativity, and perseverance. She also teaches for the Golden Crown Literary Society Writing Academy, a creative writing program for queer women. It’s been her honor to mentor writers who are now her peers and colleagues. Karelia also loves to garden, draw, and play with her pug-mix, Willa Cather.

Karelia has a BA in Comparative Literature from Smith College and an MA in English from the University of Oregon. She is represented by Jane Dystel of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret.

Reviews

[Farah · Rating 4 out of 5]

To me, a good thriller will take me into the darkness from the beginning and I will be submerged in it. I will be in content but at a certain point, as it drags me deeper, I will search for some lights to keep me sane. The problem with reviewing these psychologically fcked up books, is that doing so without spoilers is hard. It's the type of story where the less you know going in, the better reading experience you will have.

The plot itself is a big mind game; you're made to think up endless theories, accusing every character of being evil and manipulative. The funny thing is, though, is the event in question is not impossible to guess, actually it's quite likely that most will predict what really happened half way through the story, but no matter how much or how little you know - or think you know - It will make you want to discuss it with everyone you know, and go over every OMG and every What-if and all the possible repercussions for days to come.

I have never heard of Stezt-Waters before this but now? I'm convinced that the woman is an evil genius. I don't even want to know what went on inside her head as she was writing it. But I can definitely tell you what went on inside mine...a whole lot of crazy.

Let's touch on the biggest thing here: the writing. The way Stetz-Waters paints a picture through her words makes you think you're going crazy right along with the characters. The utter vividness of the madness is something that jumps right out of the pages at you. I had goosebumps the entire first half of this book. It has just the right amount of suspense and obscurity to make you unable to put it down for even a second. The author also allows for the mystery to unravel at the perfect pace, giving us enough to lead us on the right track, but not letting the waves of dread and paranoia weaken. You will want answers, yet not; you will crave the truth with such fear and uncertainty that you will get high from the thrill of this insanity.

This ride has been crazy, frustrating, exhilarating, and above all, one of the most unique reading experiences I have ever had. I would love to thank Agirlcandream and Jem for their excellent and convincing reviews. If you're familiar with Angela Peach's work, then this has your name on it. Definitely need something Hallmarky after reading this. Perfect 4± stars

Trigger ⚠️
Helen has been beaten and broken down by her past and present. Every day of her existence is a struggle and she punishes herself by having one fcuk stands. There were 3 scenes with 3 different guys, not explicit but not fade to black either. This book also features Body Integrity Identity Disorder - BIID

[Agirlcandream · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Admirer is intense, one of the best psychological thrillers I have read in a very long time.

The sleepy college town of Pittock is the setting for this book but the nearby abandoned insane asylum plays a major role ramping up the tension throughout the novel.

Helen Ivers, the newly hired president of Pittock College is still recovering from her sister's recent suicide and hopes a fresh start will help her move on with her life. She arrives on campus just as two severed legs are found strapped to a nearby railway track. Is it suicide or murder? Will Ivers be able to keep this financially fragile college out of the news while dealing with a less than cooperative staff and local police force?

Stetz-Waters does a masterful job of introducing a strong cast of characters, suspects and possible love interests for the emotionally fragile Ivers. The author has a deft hand with her settings as well. The readers feels like they are right there walking across the campus common or sitting in a sleazy smoke filled road side tavern. Viewing many of these settings from the eyes of the killer just adds to the suspense.

Excellent tempo and tension build as the college president tries to sort out the real from the imagined and friends from those with motives and means.

Add in the enigmatic young and beautiful Professor Adair Wilson and The Admirer is a book I won't soon forget.

[Jem · Rating 5 out of 5]

A taut psychological thriller that delivers on all fronts--the mystery, the suspense, and surprisingly, even the romance. The setting, the characters and the happenings are suitably creepy. I like the author's insight into the minds of not just the protagonists, but also the killer and the victims, and the mental and emotional illnesses they suffer from. Her depiction of mental illness and their devastating effects on not just the victims themselves, but their loved ones as well, was compassionate but doesn't pull any punches. The author manages to give us all that and still maintain the tension and suspense throughout. All of the characters were believable...even their unusual 'fetishes' sounded plausible. There is a bit of a creep factor...as the author goes inside the mind of the killer that at once, shows their human as well as their monstrous side. Indeed, this would make a very nice horror movie. A perfect 5 stars.

Note: Read and reviewed this book when it was previously titled 'Dysphoria'

[Bobbi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense, dark, gritty, intriguing, gripping: are a few adjectives I'd use to describe this book. While I think of myself as being thick-skinned, there were parts that made me cringe, so be forewarned the book holds back no punches. I wasn't a fan of Helen for the most part, while I understood her tragic past I still felt like she was kind of flat. Adiar, on the other hand, was very interesting, probably one of the more intriguing characters I've read. I wanted to know more about her and her family so I was happy to see the next book was from her POV. This is definitely a must read for fans of thrillers.

[Jem · Rating 5 out of 5]

A taut psychological thriller that delivers on all fronts--the mystery, the suspense, and surprisingly, even the romance. The setting, the characters and the happenings are suitably creepy. I like the author's insight into the minds of not just the protagonists, but also the killer and the victims, and the mental and emotional illnesses they suffer from. Her depiction of mental illness and their devastating effects on not just the victims themselves, but their loved ones as well, was compassionate but doesn't pull any punches. The author manages to give us all that and still maintain the tension and suspense throughout. All of the characters were believable...even their unusual 'fetishes' sounded plausible. There is a bit of a creep factor...as the author goes inside the mind of the killer that at once, shows their human as well as their monstrous side. Indeed, this would make a very nice horror movie. A perfect 5 stars.

[P. Industry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pittock Collage president Helen Ivers is "troubled". Haunted by the death of her sister, banished from her post at a larger and more prestigious University, she steps onto her remote new campus and straight to the scene of a grisly murder. If this wasn't enough, Helen is immediately beset on all sides by other pressures and politics; the local police are dragging their heels, the financial pressures on the varsity are increasing, and the intense young Theatre professor is a loose cannon, crashing through carefully layered social niceties in her pursuit of answers.

Speaking frankly though, this is an entirely inadequate summation of events. This book is superb. Firstly, it is clear that the author has spent quite a bit of time in an academic faculty;. This is a book which finds black humour within the dance between securing funding and actually providing education. The romance is not pretty, being as it is between two broken people. "Gritty" and "intense" are probably better adjectives. Overall though, the real triumph of the author is in that elusive something which is vaguely termed "atmosphere". The tension provided by the serial killer hovers over every page, a presence felt in every action and conversation. It is simply superb.

This book also doesn't shy away from difficult topics. Mental illness and death are treated with a kind of blunt, cruel compassion. The killer is shown as a victim of mental illness, but also twisted and dangerous. Our anti-hero agonises over the effects of caring for her sister's mental illness, and the consequences of that sister's death have almost crippled her. As another character points out, however, that means she almost completely lives in the past and should have sought professional treatment long ago. That character, the theatre professor Adiar Wilson, fights her family and wealth in every moment, constructing herself in spite of them (and thus because of them). Her success in this endeavour explains much of her drive and aggression; it also explains much of her loneliness and insecurity.

This is a fantastic book, but not a light read. Highly recommended for when you're after a novel with teeth.

[Justina Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dysphoria is a powerhouse, brilliant, and nerve-wrenching book of mental imbalance and steadfast love set in a remote southwestern corner of the Berkshires in Massachusetts. There is a charming, but haunting, private college as its centerpiece. With my eyes extra wide open and my jaw dropping to my knees, I was completely drawn into the mystery, the intrigue, and the love affair. Be forewarned, there are some really scary folk, some fingernail biting, and some solid hits to one's own sanity. I adored this a great deal!

Dr. Helen Ivers has been through a hair-raising, devastating family loss and tragedy. She is also a brilliant college administrator capable of turning an institution back on its feet and financially healthy for the long run. Additionally, she has one of most intense dark sides I have ever seen that put her at emotional, professional, and psychic risk again and again. I loved her even when she couldn’t love herself.

Professor Adair Wilson is a force of nature. Her theater students love and adore her, she takes stands for issues she feels are being swept under the carpet, and she is intensely attracted to Dr. Ivers with not the best technique to reel Helen in, however. There are some odd, unsettling, and completely well-founded dark areas in her past. She is also extremely wealthy and has a family that will storm the ramparts to protect or save her. She is my hero!

I’m not sure I’m qualified to say this is a ‘masterpiece’, but it certainly felt like one to me. The people, the setting, the issues, the darkness, the depth, and the love were both exhilarating and exhausting. That is the best thing a book can do, from my point of view!



NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

[Natsu · Rating 5 out of 5]

One creepy read that puts you right in the the shoes (or, more appropriately, heads) of the characters.

I've always liked psychological thrillers, even in films, especially when the creators eff with your brain so well that you don't just view the story, you become part of it.

Helen and Adair both have personal issues that puts a strain in the budding relationship. It doesn't help that their first real interaction happens in the aftermath of a brutal crime. Sparks fly, suspicions arise, and the death toll rises as the mystery unfolds.

this book was gory in the right places, insane, thrilling, and romantic (in a creepy and out of the box way)..

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting mix of crime thriller with repression, psychological pain and a little bit of romance that feels desperate in it's intensity.

The sense of doom and pain is palpable throughout this book and the final chapters present a sense of relief that you have reached the end.

Great book, certainly not my usual but interesting nevertheless.

[TheCosyDragon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review has been crossposted from my blog at The Cosy Dragon . Please head there for more in-depth reviews by me, which appear on a timely schedule.

Helen Ivers has just become president of a tiny little college literally in the middle of nowhere. The college is out of money, and falling apart, and Helen is falling apart too. With a lonely set of legs greeting her on her first visit, and a VERY helpful secretary, Helen will be the next victim if she doesn’t get her act together.

This author knows how to pack a punch. I was blown away by the way Karelia drew me into loving her protagonist and then added as many things as possible to her life that made me want to cringe away – just like watching the metaphorical train wreck (haha).

It isn’t ever clear to the reader who the true culprit is, except that it is a man (from the pronouns used in the parts that . The ‘red herrings’ that another reviewer complained of didn’t bother me. I found that it only added to the suspense, as one by one the potential killers are crossed off the list, and yet the victims remain in danger.

The denied romance between Wilson and Ivers added another layer of tension. Even as you wished Helen would give in to her desires, she doesn’t, and refuses to accept anything. The people Helen trusts are few, and as the reader can tell the killer is not a woman, the reader is pretty much driven mad by Helen’s refusal to trust Wilson.

What I would have liked more would have been if I got more background on how the killer came to come away from the asylum, be educated, and then go back to living nearby. Small town politics are one thing, covering up years of history is another.

Something I didn’t get a sense for was the time period of the novel. How many places still have a potentially deadly asylum and wells left in the forest? Especially in the USA, where surely things have been expanded into rapidly? But then I reflected on the homeless camp depicted in the novel and concluded that bad things still happen, and who knows what is lurking in the dark?

I’m not sure how convinced I am of the ending. I don’t mind things being left open, but without the promise of something more that is actually substantial, I don’t know how to feel. Imagine my surprise when I looked on GoodReads and discovered another novel containing Helen and Wilson. Let me at it!

I so want to discuss this novel further, I enjoyed it that much. But I don’t want to give away all of its secrets – go and get a copy for yourself.

I requested this novel from the author after very much enjoying two of her other novels (Something True and Forgive Me If I’ve Told You This Before). These are a set of books I wouldn’t hesitate recommending you to buy – and I’m fulling intending on getting my hands on more paperback copies of all her novels, for rereading again and again and again.

[Jem · Rating 5 out of 5]

A taut psychological thriller that delivers on all fronts--the mystery, the suspense, and surprisingly, even the romance. The setting, the characters and the happenings are suitably creepy. I like the author's insight into the minds of not just the protagonists, but also the killer and the victims, and the mental and emotional illnesses they suffer from. Her depiction of mental illness and their devastating effects on not just the victims themselves, but their loved ones as well, was compassionate but doesn't pull any punches. The author manages to give us all that and still maintain the tension and suspense throughout. All of the characters were believable...even their unusual 'fetishes' sounded plausible. There is a bit of a creep factor...as the author goes inside the mind of the killer that at once, shows their human as well as their monstrous side. Indeed, this would make a very nice horror movie. A perfect 5 stars.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book grabbed me right from the start! I was drawn in immediately by the characters and the plot. The protagonist, antagonist, and supporting players are each compelling in his/her own way.

This is one of those books in which the villain, although heinous in his/her actions is also understandable. Stetz-Waters explores the issues that the murderer struggles with in depth and lets the reader relate to the disorder and the person. No small feat, given the murderer's actions.

The heroine and her love interest are both complex interesting characters and this made the book intriguing as well.

I didn't want the book to end! It's a great thriller, all encompassing, an escape from "real life".

[Jeanne Haskin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helen Ivers, the president of Pittock College, has seen what no one should ever suffer, a suicide so grotesque that its scents, images, and associated memories threaten her sanity and career. Pitted against a killer who’s obsessed with mutilation, she cannot begin to know the madness and twisted fantasies that mark her as another victim. Frightened out of her wits, Helen knows she can trust no one. Not even her gorgeous, lesbian lover, who becomes privy to hurtful secrets that are soon turned against Helen. As Helen’s terror escalates and one murder follows another, she can run from the bone saw, but she can’t outthink the killer.

[Jeanne Haskin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helen Ivers, the president of Pittock College, has seen what no one should ever suffer, a suicide so grotesque that its scents, images, and associated memories threaten her sanity and career. Pitted against a killer who’s obsessed with mutilation, she cannot begin to know the madness and twisted fantasies that mark her as another victim. Frightened out of her wits, Helen knows she can trust no one. Not even her gorgeous, lesbian lover, who becomes privy to hurtful secrets that are soon turned against Helen. As Helen’s terror escalates and one murder follows another, she can run from the bone saw, but she can’t outthink the killer.

[Jeanne Haskin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helen Ivers, the president of Pittock College, has seen what no one should ever suffer, a suicide so grotesque that its scents, images, and associated memories threaten her sanity and career. Pitted against a killer who’s obsessed with mutilation, she cannot begin to know the madness and twisted fantasies that mark her as another victim. Frightened out of her wits, Helen knows she can trust no one. Not even her gorgeous, lesbian lover, who becomes privy to hurtful secrets that are soon turned against Helen. As Helen’s terror escalates and one murder follows another, she can run from the bone saw, but she can’t outthink the killer.

[Fatima · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tried really hard to like this book. I had some high expectations for it, having loved "Forgive me if I've Told You This Before." Unfortunately, the characters fell flat for me. I found Helen gullible and straining, the prose repetitive, and the romance unrealistic. The amount of redundant red herrings killed my excitement eventually.

[Carly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book, I could barely put it down. I'm just stepping into reading thrillers as this isn't my usual genre, and there were times I felt queasy and times I was scared shitless,that every creek I heard in my home I freaked out over, this is how good the writing is. I can't wait to read the next one and be engrossed in the lives of these two characters once again.

[Kellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thrilling

What a nail biting, edge of your seat thrill ride! Wow. After reading her other romance novels I am surprised by the vivid pictures painted by Karelia in this book. Awesome read, couldn't put it down! Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach, great murder mystery with the addition of gay and lesbian characters. I loved it!

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is not much of a mystery when the whodunit is essentially solved within the first few chapters. I kept waiting for a twist and was sorely disappointed when there was none. Further, the characters were flat and undeveloped.

[LVLMLeah · Rating 5 out of 5]

4 1/2 stars

Kindle edition

My review here:

http://bi-curious-romancenovel-chat.b...

[Baxter Clare Trautman]

Good, creepy debut novel.

[Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic intense read
crap ebook formatting and design
5 stars

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read. Suspense, romance, a bizarre world of deviance all set in a bucolic college town... The pages kept me engaged.

[Brook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super weird murder mystery with a rad queer woman as the protagonist. I enjoyed this, but some of the subject matter made it hard to read.

[Sandra de Helen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read it for bookclub. Didn't like it.

[Odd Bin]

DNF.