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Uncovered: Revealing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage
Having a happy and sexually satisfying marriage isn't workit's fun!
Uncovered shares the secrets of understanding your husband and making your marriage your top priority using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit of feminine charm. With plenty of wit and realistic advice, Susie Davis shows you
how to get over your naked self and love your body
what "speed sex" is (hint: it doesn't mean breaking records)
the importance of letting your husband be a man
how to move from roommate to playmate
and much more
Each chapter also includes a top secret section called The Male Room where real married men reveal their true feelings about their wives and marriages.
If you're ready to improve your relationshipand have funwith the most important person in your life, this is the book for you.
"Wow. Uncovered is just thathonest, open, gut-level talk about putting the sexy back in marriage. This is not simply a book about sexit's a thoughtful and brave look at making your marriage truly healthy."Ronne, married to Brad 13 years
"I loved Susie's practical approach to marriage, the humorous stories, and the insightful comments from real husbands on their real views and needs. This is a fantastic read not only for those struggling in their marriage, but also those who already have a great marriage."Joni, married to Kevin 13 years
"Uncovered sparked a fire in me that I didn't even know had gone out. This book has changed my attitude and my approach toward my husband."Julie, married to David 14 years
Susie Davis is the author of several books, including Parenting Your Teen and Loving It, and is a popular retreat and conference speaker. She is founder and director of Susie Davis Ministries (www.susiedavisministries.com) and has a passion for helping others develop God-centered relationships.
177 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2010
7 people are currently reading
45 people want to read
About the author
Susie Davis
33 books33 followersSusie Davis is an author, speaker and co-founder of Austin Christian Fellowship. She is married to her high school sweetheart, Will Davis, Jr., and they have 3 delightful young adult children (Will III, Emily, and Sara) who are all married and living their one beautiful life.
Susie’s podcast, Dear Daughters, is full of wisdom and joy, offering women young and old the kind of comfort and companionship they crave.
Aside from family and ministry, Susie is hopelessly addicted to horseback riding, McDonald’s coffee and pink geraniums. She loves bird watching, creek walking and connecting the dots between God and nature. Her favorites include cooking, gathering people at her big French farm table and asking deep questions.
Susie’s podcast, Dear Daughters, is full of wisdom and joy, offering women young and old the kind of comfort and companionship they crave.
Aside from family and ministry, Susie is hopelessly addicted to horseback riding, McDonald’s coffee and pink geraniums. She loves bird watching, creek walking and connecting the dots between God and nature. Her favorites include cooking, gathering people at her big French farm table and asking deep questions.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
December 26, 2018
This was a great read. It was fun, humorous, filled with wise truths and solid encouragement. I think it's important to never take one's marriage for granted and this book really reminded me of all the simple things I can do to keep my marriage strong.
June 14, 2023
Such an easy, practical read with a lot of wisdom from a pastors wife. Susie Davis doesn't claim to know it all but offers the wisdom she's gleaned after 25 years of marriage. The end of each chapter offers a man's perspective on the topics she covers, which I found to be insightful. “Many days—more than I care to confess or even imagine— grace is what keeps [my husband] and me together. And though that may sound startling or terribly unromantic, it’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced. To know that I’m loved unconditionally is an earthly taste of the Divine. And for that, I’m implicitly and undeniably grateful."
June 5, 2010
My husband and I read this book together. Here's our conversational review:
A: So my first thought when Holly suggested this book was “oh my – what kind of book is this, and what is she trying to suggest by suggesting it?!”
H: I had no ulterior motives in suggesting it. I had the opportunity to review it and it looked interesting.
A: Yeah – because every husband knows that wives never ever have an ulterior motive, or an underlying thought :). So I read the book first, and was honestly rather surprised. Not knowing the author or having read anything from her previously, I was rather concerned that this was either going to be a man-bashing book, or something rather tawdry, more of a Dr. Ruth than a Dr. Laura-type of book. Thankfully it falls more into a Dr. Laura mold.
H: Why does there have to be an ulterior motive to everything? Honestly, the book looked interesting. That’s all. I wasn’t sure either, if it would be a how-to type of book or a relationship book. I was quite pleasantly surprised as I read it. True, it did have Dr. Laura-type tones, but, for the most part, it was more a book on how to communicate in a marriage, more than anything.
A: True, there was a lot on communication, but there was also a great section at the end of each chapter where a group of men got to comment/answer questions about that chapter. I found this really interesting because it confirmed for me a lot of what I was thinking, both from the good point and from the occasionally concerned point.
H: I liked the 'Male Room' sections too. I found them rather enlightening. Somewhat predictable, but enlightening.
A: Predictable to you maybe, but as a guy (hopefully a decent one) we don’t sit around discussing our thoughts and feelings about our intimate lives, so we don’t often really know what is normal for a guy’s thoughts, and what is just us! It’s good to hear the perspective of other men and realize that the little voices inside your head seem to be in their heads as well.
H: Fair enough. Do you think the book was geared more towards female readers or was it written for both men and women?
A: Definitely both. I think, and I’m guessing here, it was probably written more for women than men, because I found myself quite often being in agreement with the concepts presented. That said, I also found out things that I didn’t know, and some of these were really surprising.
H: Like what?
A: That at a biochemical level men and women have a different chemical reaction to stress. I don’t think it’s news to anyone who has been married for a while that when life gets stressful men want intimacy more, and women want it less, but actually finding out that this is due to testosterone chemical bonding differences was an eye opener for me.
Basically, when men are stressed testosterone floats around more freely, and so we want intimacy more. When a woman is stressed, the testosterone gets bound up to another chemical (can’t remember which) and so a woman’s desire for intimacy goes down. So just when life is stressful, we end up being at two different ends of the spectrum!
H: I thought her solutions to that particular issue were logical/obvious: try to get more sleep, say no to outside obligations, try to want intimacy anyway, etc. In theory, that is easier said than done, but it is definitely something important to think on and to work towards. I think I found the “Difference Between Cats and Dogs” section most enlightening. Her descriptions were dead on and while the information wasn’t new, it was certainly presented in a way that made me think more.
A: Care to illuminate on that???
H: Just that she compared men and women to dogs and cats, which sounds really bad when put that way. Mostly, the comparison was that women are hard to read and can be prickly and finicky in their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, especially when dealing with intimacy. Whereas, men are loyal and willing and always ready for intimacy. I think one of the phrases is “Women need a reason, men just need a place” or something like that. I’m probably not expressing it well, but it was a great chapter and one that I found illuminating and quite true.
A: I agree. I think most women would say that their husbands are “always ready” which isn’t necessarily true, but compared to women I think it’s a fair generalization to make. There was a great answer in the ‘Male Room” on that section , where one of the men answered that for women “intimacy is an idea” where for men it’s a “biological necessity”. I like that way he phrased that, because often in popular culture a man’s need for intimacy is seen as pestering, or is couched in a derogatory tone, but for men intimacy is something that’s wired into us.
Imagine if society started treating a mother’s desire to comfort her crying child that same way that men’s desire for intimacy is treated. Women are biologically programmed to have maternal feelings and to them, the sound of their crying child flips switches in their brain that are very hard to ignore.
A husband watching his wife get undressed (not necessarily for intimacy, just at the end of the day) flips switches in our heads, and yet that’s often treated as ‘nasty, base or just being a man’ by the world in general. A woman who can understand that about her husband, and treat that with respect is a blessing to her husband, and a wonderful wife to have.
Note that I said ‘respect’ – that doesn’t mean to acquiesce every time her husband wants intimacy (because otherwise nothing would ever get done) but to understand it from the viewpoint that men are who we are, and you can either work with that, or fight it.
H: I can’t disagree. (And, note that I am not asking you to clarify where I fit into the ‘respect’ part of that response!) I think that there is too much man bashing in our society today, especially in the media and every time I see a commercial or a film that puts down husbands and fathers, I get angry.
One of the things that I appreciated about Susie’s book was that she talks often about the differences in men and women. Differences that are good and necessary and put into us by God. Society gives such conflicting messages to both men and women and what our roles should be.
A: I totally agree. If you look at half of the shows out there, women are encouraged to look sexy, to have great make up, dress like they are walking the streets and act provocatively to attract men, but then when we as men react to that, our desire is despised as debase, despicable and downright disgusting. Talk about mixed messages.
A: So do you think the book is worth buying?
H: I do. I think the book is definitely worth buying and I think that it is a book that should be read as a couple and then discussed. You?
A: Yes – the discussion part is the most important one from my perspective. I would suggest that as a husband and wife you read the chapter separately, then find time to discuss it together in a way that is not judgmental and allows each side to express their thoughts without having to defend them.
Thanks to Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group for the opportunity to review this book.
A: So my first thought when Holly suggested this book was “oh my – what kind of book is this, and what is she trying to suggest by suggesting it?!”
H: I had no ulterior motives in suggesting it. I had the opportunity to review it and it looked interesting.
A: Yeah – because every husband knows that wives never ever have an ulterior motive, or an underlying thought :). So I read the book first, and was honestly rather surprised. Not knowing the author or having read anything from her previously, I was rather concerned that this was either going to be a man-bashing book, or something rather tawdry, more of a Dr. Ruth than a Dr. Laura-type of book. Thankfully it falls more into a Dr. Laura mold.
H: Why does there have to be an ulterior motive to everything? Honestly, the book looked interesting. That’s all. I wasn’t sure either, if it would be a how-to type of book or a relationship book. I was quite pleasantly surprised as I read it. True, it did have Dr. Laura-type tones, but, for the most part, it was more a book on how to communicate in a marriage, more than anything.
A: True, there was a lot on communication, but there was also a great section at the end of each chapter where a group of men got to comment/answer questions about that chapter. I found this really interesting because it confirmed for me a lot of what I was thinking, both from the good point and from the occasionally concerned point.
H: I liked the 'Male Room' sections too. I found them rather enlightening. Somewhat predictable, but enlightening.
A: Predictable to you maybe, but as a guy (hopefully a decent one) we don’t sit around discussing our thoughts and feelings about our intimate lives, so we don’t often really know what is normal for a guy’s thoughts, and what is just us! It’s good to hear the perspective of other men and realize that the little voices inside your head seem to be in their heads as well.
H: Fair enough. Do you think the book was geared more towards female readers or was it written for both men and women?
A: Definitely both. I think, and I’m guessing here, it was probably written more for women than men, because I found myself quite often being in agreement with the concepts presented. That said, I also found out things that I didn’t know, and some of these were really surprising.
H: Like what?
A: That at a biochemical level men and women have a different chemical reaction to stress. I don’t think it’s news to anyone who has been married for a while that when life gets stressful men want intimacy more, and women want it less, but actually finding out that this is due to testosterone chemical bonding differences was an eye opener for me.
Basically, when men are stressed testosterone floats around more freely, and so we want intimacy more. When a woman is stressed, the testosterone gets bound up to another chemical (can’t remember which) and so a woman’s desire for intimacy goes down. So just when life is stressful, we end up being at two different ends of the spectrum!
H: I thought her solutions to that particular issue were logical/obvious: try to get more sleep, say no to outside obligations, try to want intimacy anyway, etc. In theory, that is easier said than done, but it is definitely something important to think on and to work towards. I think I found the “Difference Between Cats and Dogs” section most enlightening. Her descriptions were dead on and while the information wasn’t new, it was certainly presented in a way that made me think more.
A: Care to illuminate on that???
H: Just that she compared men and women to dogs and cats, which sounds really bad when put that way. Mostly, the comparison was that women are hard to read and can be prickly and finicky in their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, especially when dealing with intimacy. Whereas, men are loyal and willing and always ready for intimacy. I think one of the phrases is “Women need a reason, men just need a place” or something like that. I’m probably not expressing it well, but it was a great chapter and one that I found illuminating and quite true.
A: I agree. I think most women would say that their husbands are “always ready” which isn’t necessarily true, but compared to women I think it’s a fair generalization to make. There was a great answer in the ‘Male Room” on that section , where one of the men answered that for women “intimacy is an idea” where for men it’s a “biological necessity”. I like that way he phrased that, because often in popular culture a man’s need for intimacy is seen as pestering, or is couched in a derogatory tone, but for men intimacy is something that’s wired into us.
Imagine if society started treating a mother’s desire to comfort her crying child that same way that men’s desire for intimacy is treated. Women are biologically programmed to have maternal feelings and to them, the sound of their crying child flips switches in their brain that are very hard to ignore.
A husband watching his wife get undressed (not necessarily for intimacy, just at the end of the day) flips switches in our heads, and yet that’s often treated as ‘nasty, base or just being a man’ by the world in general. A woman who can understand that about her husband, and treat that with respect is a blessing to her husband, and a wonderful wife to have.
Note that I said ‘respect’ – that doesn’t mean to acquiesce every time her husband wants intimacy (because otherwise nothing would ever get done) but to understand it from the viewpoint that men are who we are, and you can either work with that, or fight it.
H: I can’t disagree. (And, note that I am not asking you to clarify where I fit into the ‘respect’ part of that response!) I think that there is too much man bashing in our society today, especially in the media and every time I see a commercial or a film that puts down husbands and fathers, I get angry.
One of the things that I appreciated about Susie’s book was that she talks often about the differences in men and women. Differences that are good and necessary and put into us by God. Society gives such conflicting messages to both men and women and what our roles should be.
A: I totally agree. If you look at half of the shows out there, women are encouraged to look sexy, to have great make up, dress like they are walking the streets and act provocatively to attract men, but then when we as men react to that, our desire is despised as debase, despicable and downright disgusting. Talk about mixed messages.
A: So do you think the book is worth buying?
H: I do. I think the book is definitely worth buying and I think that it is a book that should be read as a couple and then discussed. You?
A: Yes – the discussion part is the most important one from my perspective. I would suggest that as a husband and wife you read the chapter separately, then find time to discuss it together in a way that is not judgmental and allows each side to express their thoughts without having to defend them.
Thanks to Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group for the opportunity to review this book.
January 4, 2021
The title of this book is a bit misleading—it was so much more than what it alludes to. It was a great read about building a stronger marriage, whether as a newlywed or if you’ve been married a long time. I really enjoyed the author’s anecdotes, many of which were comical. The “male room” was very insightful as well!
March 23, 2017
Easy to read and understand
I really enjoyed this book. I had to keep reminding myself that the author was female. She touched on some great points and the insight from the men was nice to have. This book encouraged me to encourage deeper conversation with my husband. We talk but we don't get to the nitty gritty; there is too much life in the way.
I really enjoyed this book. I had to keep reminding myself that the author was female. She touched on some great points and the insight from the men was nice to have. This book encouraged me to encourage deeper conversation with my husband. We talk but we don't get to the nitty gritty; there is too much life in the way.
May 31, 2016
Not a whole lot of new material here although it is well written and well organized. I realized just a little way in that the book was intended for women but decided to read it in case I need to recommend it in the future. So as a man I would recommend the first and last couple of chapters.
Some highlights:
p. 49-What you may not realize is that as a woman, you have a tremendous amount of power over the man you're married to. In many ways, you hold the key to avoiding what Lewis calls "the castration." In millions of little ways, you can either affirm your husband's masculinity or you can crush it. I truly believe if wives really understood the depth of power they possess purely by passion, proximity, and physicality, they would feel secure in understanding their worth and value as women. If we could just grasp the fundamental issue of how relationship and marriage impact a man, we would stand tall and marvel in amazement, wielding our influence for positive change.
p. 88 (On materialism and wanting more) No, in this case, perhaps raising expectations might be smarter. And I don't mean that you want for more where stuff is concerned. I am thinking that you want for more where your relationship is concerned--raise those expectations. Because if it's true that Americans are more prosperous --and more depressed--than ever, it just stands to reason that maybe we're looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
p. 143 (A quote from Rick Johnson's book "The Man Whisperer"--I find this to be essential in communication between men and women)
10 Keys to successful communication with a man:
1. Give him space-prep him ahead of time and give him a day to think things over.
2. Simplify-get to the point in thirty seconds or so.
3. One topic at a time, please--stick to one topic at a time and let him know when you're changing topics.
4. Be consistent-keep your communication behavior the same.
5. Say what you really mean--men think literally, so speak literally.
6. Give him a problem to solve--if you want cooperation, ask him to solve something instead of just talking about it.
7. Get physical--allow for talk while he's puttering or working with his hands. The conversation will be much more productive.
8. Timing is everything--find a time to talk when he's not exhausted--as in not when he walks in the door at the end of the day.
9. Fight fair--don't take to hear what a man verbalizes when he's upset because in many cases, he simply doesn't think ahead about what comes out of his mouth.
10. Speak plainly--men aren't mind readers, so tell him up front what the conversation goal is and help him achieve it.
There's also a great quote by Anne Lamott about grace on pg. 158:
Grace is unearned love--it's the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. It's the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you. Grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there.
Some highlights:
p. 49-What you may not realize is that as a woman, you have a tremendous amount of power over the man you're married to. In many ways, you hold the key to avoiding what Lewis calls "the castration." In millions of little ways, you can either affirm your husband's masculinity or you can crush it. I truly believe if wives really understood the depth of power they possess purely by passion, proximity, and physicality, they would feel secure in understanding their worth and value as women. If we could just grasp the fundamental issue of how relationship and marriage impact a man, we would stand tall and marvel in amazement, wielding our influence for positive change.
p. 88 (On materialism and wanting more) No, in this case, perhaps raising expectations might be smarter. And I don't mean that you want for more where stuff is concerned. I am thinking that you want for more where your relationship is concerned--raise those expectations. Because if it's true that Americans are more prosperous --and more depressed--than ever, it just stands to reason that maybe we're looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
p. 143 (A quote from Rick Johnson's book "The Man Whisperer"--I find this to be essential in communication between men and women)
10 Keys to successful communication with a man:
1. Give him space-prep him ahead of time and give him a day to think things over.
2. Simplify-get to the point in thirty seconds or so.
3. One topic at a time, please--stick to one topic at a time and let him know when you're changing topics.
4. Be consistent-keep your communication behavior the same.
5. Say what you really mean--men think literally, so speak literally.
6. Give him a problem to solve--if you want cooperation, ask him to solve something instead of just talking about it.
7. Get physical--allow for talk while he's puttering or working with his hands. The conversation will be much more productive.
8. Timing is everything--find a time to talk when he's not exhausted--as in not when he walks in the door at the end of the day.
9. Fight fair--don't take to hear what a man verbalizes when he's upset because in many cases, he simply doesn't think ahead about what comes out of his mouth.
10. Speak plainly--men aren't mind readers, so tell him up front what the conversation goal is and help him achieve it.
There's also a great quote by Anne Lamott about grace on pg. 158:
Grace is unearned love--it's the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. It's the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you. Grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there.
August 6, 2011
Title: UNCOVERED: Revealing the secrets of a sexy marriage
Author: Susie Davis
Publisher: Revell
May 2010
ISBN: 978-0-8007-3392-6
Genre: Inspirational/love and marriage
UNCOVERED is a book that shares the secrets of understanding your husband and making your marriage your top priority. Ms. Davis suggests using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit a female charm.
She offers advice on:
. how to get over your naked self and love your body
. what speed sex really is
. the importance of letting your husband be a man
. how to move from roommate to playmate
. and more
Ms. Davis also had a bunch of male interviewees she calls “The Male Room” that answer questions regarding each chapter. Some of the answers are really funny and others really get you thinking.
I’ve been married twenty-five years, but some of the chapters really spoke to me. Some of the years (probably most of them) I’ve been guilty of putting my family first ahead of my husband. Well, my children still need attention. We have a large family and the youngest one is still very young. But I am going to start paying more attention to my husbands needs.
Every married woman has room for improvement in their marriage. And this book will help to make even a good marriage better. Ms. Davis says great, if you even follow half of the suggestions.
UNCOVERED is a book for any married woman – to help her rediscover the woman her husband married and be one “hot mama.” $12.99. 167 pages.
Author: Susie Davis
Publisher: Revell
May 2010
ISBN: 978-0-8007-3392-6
Genre: Inspirational/love and marriage
UNCOVERED is a book that shares the secrets of understanding your husband and making your marriage your top priority. Ms. Davis suggests using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit a female charm.
She offers advice on:
. how to get over your naked self and love your body
. what speed sex really is
. the importance of letting your husband be a man
. how to move from roommate to playmate
. and more
Ms. Davis also had a bunch of male interviewees she calls “The Male Room” that answer questions regarding each chapter. Some of the answers are really funny and others really get you thinking.
I’ve been married twenty-five years, but some of the chapters really spoke to me. Some of the years (probably most of them) I’ve been guilty of putting my family first ahead of my husband. Well, my children still need attention. We have a large family and the youngest one is still very young. But I am going to start paying more attention to my husbands needs.
Every married woman has room for improvement in their marriage. And this book will help to make even a good marriage better. Ms. Davis says great, if you even follow half of the suggestions.
UNCOVERED is a book for any married woman – to help her rediscover the woman her husband married and be one “hot mama.” $12.99. 167 pages.
June 8, 2010
If more couples read this book (especially women) and implemented its suggestions, there would be a lot fewer divorces in our country. Occasionally I actually have friends ask me for a recommendation of a book to help them improve their marriage because they know that I read a lot of books. After reading this one I now have a new book to recommend.
I love the end of each chapter when Susie asks different men questions and they give their honest answers and insights into each chapter. Its called "The Male Room" and that alone is worth the price of the book. That is my favorite part but the honesty with which Susie approaches the subject of sex in marriage and its importance to men is refreshing. In all honesty I think that the lack of sex in marriage (usually withheld by the woman) is a power struggle that sends marriage down the wrong path. Susie is quite frank as to how sex will impact your marriage and your intimacy in general. It will improve your relationship on so many levels. This is not a sex how-to manual, it is so much more than that. If you need some help in your marriage then this book is a great place to start.
I love the end of each chapter when Susie asks different men questions and they give their honest answers and insights into each chapter. Its called "The Male Room" and that alone is worth the price of the book. That is my favorite part but the honesty with which Susie approaches the subject of sex in marriage and its importance to men is refreshing. In all honesty I think that the lack of sex in marriage (usually withheld by the woman) is a power struggle that sends marriage down the wrong path. Susie is quite frank as to how sex will impact your marriage and your intimacy in general. It will improve your relationship on so many levels. This is not a sex how-to manual, it is so much more than that. If you need some help in your marriage then this book is a great place to start.
January 30, 2011
At this point, having read two of Susie's books, I'll read anything else she writes. This particular book, Uncovered, Revealing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage helped me to realize a few simple, but major changes I needed to make in terms of my perspective on things regarding my husband and expectations of him. No kidding, s.i.m.p.l.e changes in perspective and I saw (with new eyes) the wonderful man I initially fell in love with all over again.
The author manages to be witty, honest and funny with a topic that is serious business. Easily a 5 star read for me.
The author manages to be witty, honest and funny with a topic that is serious business. Easily a 5 star read for me.
July 6, 2015
Excellent book!! The book is about all of the pieces that go into making a healthy marriage. It's written from a Christian perspective so keep that in mind. I like her honesty, the research she put into it & "the Male Room" the section where she includes men's perspectives on the topic of that chapter. The only thing I would add is the statistic about the number of wives unsatisfied with their sex life... though I'm lucky enough not to be one, I know they're out there!
June 30, 2015
Most of this material I had read in other books, but the author had a casual girlfriend style of writing I enjoyed. My favorite chapter was "Superman: Letting Your Husband Man Up". The best advice in the book was be the "yes" in his life.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews