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Life on Altamont Court: Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary
When a gay couple moves in… The Inflatable Snowman. The Gigantic Inflatable Snowman. We thought that ‘Frosty’ would lead to our demise. That 20-foot monstrosity had me questioning our decision to move into this seemingly quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac. Was I ever wrong. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. This book is dedicated to the memories and life-changing events that took place during our stay on Altamont Court. The people, the traditions, the holidays and the celebrations of life and love are all captured within these pages. Take a journey with me and read about the mayhem and mishaps that come into play when you mix together a potpourri of characters that live within a stone’s throw of each other. Take an eco-friendly, high-strung type A neighbor, a demanding Italian Matriarch, men who are the embodiment of the words “More Power,” a troop of loving and mischievous kids and mix in two gay men who are hell-bent on making a home out of a charming half-million-dollar fixer upper and you have the residents of Altamont Court. My name is Trent and Ken is my partner. This is our journey and our way of giving thanks to those who shared it along the way. Whether you are a weekend warrior who can't wait to get his hands around the next "improvement project", a stiletto-wearing Texas woman who wields a gun in flawless makeup, or a queen from the city who eagerly awaits the next big sales event at Neiman Marcus - this memoir is for you. Pour a drink, sit back, relax and enjoy - and if you don't, then the words of a truly classy character and dear friend come to mind, "What the F&%$’s wrong with you?" Yes, it's that kind of party - bless our hearts.
trentpines@gmail.com
www.trentpines.com
trentpines@gmail.com
www.trentpines.com
364 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 11, 2013
89 people are currently reading
94 people want to read
About the author
Trent D. Pines
1 book4 followersTrent was born in Columbus, Ohio and grew up in a small town (cornfields of the Midwest as he would say) just east of the city. After graduating from Pickerington High School (Go Tigers!) he attended college at Abilene Christian University in West Texas and earned his degree in communications. Trent went on to further his education and completed his MBA at Emory University in 2003. Although he has a love for the performing arts and has performed on various stages in Texas, New Jersey and Georgia (never in drag, mind you), his desire for a stable paycheck with medical coverage outweighed his desire to pursue his theatrical dream and become the next Broadway phenom. It was then, at the age of twenty-four, that he started his career with his current employer; an international communications company, and learned that he had an aptitude for business. Thirty years later he still enjoys going to work and is pleased to present to you his latest artistic endeavor and first literary piece, Life on Altamont Court.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
January 25, 2015
Magnificent! A true gem! What an honor to be invited to Altamont Court! It is truly a special place. This story will have you in stitches one minute, and the next minute, tearing up. How wonderful this is, knowing that there is such love and kindness waiting for you out there. Even with all the shit we see day in, day out. We can still experience the good that right there in front of us.
I so loved this story! Moving through the pages of the day in the life of Altamont Court showed the true gems of unconditional love, community, family, support, laughter and tears. Growing together through the years, being true to yourself and not holding back on being who you truly are. Given the the space to be free to be fierce! Yup, saw a lot of that. Grab your drink of choice and some tissue. Get ready for some shoutin' and laughin', and hold on tight.
We are all at different points in our lives. But that does not mean we are without true feelings of love and understanding. Sometimes it takes a work such as this book to remind us of this. Bless you heart. :)
p.s. Thanx for the recipes and pictures, Trent!
I so loved this story! Moving through the pages of the day in the life of Altamont Court showed the true gems of unconditional love, community, family, support, laughter and tears. Growing together through the years, being true to yourself and not holding back on being who you truly are. Given the the space to be free to be fierce! Yup, saw a lot of that. Grab your drink of choice and some tissue. Get ready for some shoutin' and laughin', and hold on tight.
We are all at different points in our lives. But that does not mean we are without true feelings of love and understanding. Sometimes it takes a work such as this book to remind us of this. Bless you heart. :)
p.s. Thanx for the recipes and pictures, Trent!
January 27, 2015
The story of Trent and his partner, Ken, their kitties, and their half-million-dollar fixer-upper house in New Jersey was a very entertaining and light-hearted read that was heart-warming at times, too. The many secondary characters were fun and memorable. The tales Trent chose to share made a logical chapter progression. There were far fewer typos than are often found in indy books and memoirs, which was refreshing. Thanks for the opportunity to read about your lives and the people you share them with.
January 14, 2014
I found this book to be delightful! I giggled often and laughed out loud frequently! The author narrates in the first person and I swear, as I was reading, I almost felt like I was listening to him tell these hilarious stories over drinks after work! If I'm ever in NJ I'm going to have to seek out this cul-de-sac and check it out for myself. Trent Pines has an uncanny knack for storytelling. Not only is it mostly humorous, but it also tells a very sweet story about a wonderful gay couple with a fun and loving family, who were blessed to live in such a fantastic neighborhood where they developed friendships that will be forever priceless.... I wish I lived on Altamont Court! Maybe I can start something similar by instituting Cosmo Fridays in my own neighborhood!
January 30, 2015
I found this book to read for my popsugar book challenge #8 "read a humorous book" now about the book what a fantastic read my sides are still aching and need a rest this book makes me want to join these fab two on altamont maybe even renovate something myself. Trent is such a great storyteller that he makes the words leap off the page making it feel he's directly conversing with you and you become part of the story. A job well done.
August 18, 2015
Love this book. I hated, hated for it to end. I felt like I was part of family and friends on Altamont Count. I would have loved to party with these people. I had a smile on my face and I laughed aloud until the end then I got sad. I can't say anything else because I would tell the story. Please, please read. I hope that Trent will write more stories.
February 1, 2014
Enjoyed this book by my friend Trent! Made me wish I was an Altamont Courtian myself. Felt like a nice long coffee date, being regaled by funny and sweet stories. Very entertaining and warm.
December 3, 2018
KIRKUS REVIEW
"A heartwarming memoir featuring funny stories of suburban life."
Pines’ debut memoir offers a lighthearted, entertaining tale about his time on Altamont Court—a small, suburban cul-de-sac in Morristown, N.J.—and the neighbors who became his surrogate family.
The author repeatedly notes that he never envisioned himself having a white-picket-fence kind of life. However, that’s exactly what he got when he moved, with his partner, Ken, to Altamont Court, a quiet suburban neighborhood filled with zany, inquisitive and lovable neighbors. The memoir’s first section centers on Pines’ story of renovating a “half-million-dollar fixer-upper” home soon after he and Ken arrived in Morristown—a disastrous undertaking that’s similar to the one in the 1986 comedy film The Money Pit, which the author quotes throughout. The latter, and longer, section focuses on the couple’s life on Altamont Court after the renovation was complete and their relationships with their neighbors, including Karla, the outspoken matriarch next door; her tomboy daughter, Erin, who became Pines’ “faux goddaughter”; and Davin, Karla’s youngest son, who was “as honest and sincere as they come.” Ultimately, the stories here are simply amusing, at best, but the author’s voice and personality make this book highly entertaining. Pines is an honest, self-deprecating narrator (“Once we were boarded, I drugged myself with an Ambien, two Xanax, and two shots of vodka and woke up as we landed....Believe me when I say it’s in everyone’s best interest that I remain anesthetized on long international flights”), and reading his book feels like having a conversation with an old friend. This memoir is also notable for its real-life story of a committed gay couple living a peaceful domestic life, something rarely portrayed in the popular culture.
"A heartwarming memoir featuring funny stories of suburban life."
Pines’ debut memoir offers a lighthearted, entertaining tale about his time on Altamont Court—a small, suburban cul-de-sac in Morristown, N.J.—and the neighbors who became his surrogate family.
The author repeatedly notes that he never envisioned himself having a white-picket-fence kind of life. However, that’s exactly what he got when he moved, with his partner, Ken, to Altamont Court, a quiet suburban neighborhood filled with zany, inquisitive and lovable neighbors. The memoir’s first section centers on Pines’ story of renovating a “half-million-dollar fixer-upper” home soon after he and Ken arrived in Morristown—a disastrous undertaking that’s similar to the one in the 1986 comedy film The Money Pit, which the author quotes throughout. The latter, and longer, section focuses on the couple’s life on Altamont Court after the renovation was complete and their relationships with their neighbors, including Karla, the outspoken matriarch next door; her tomboy daughter, Erin, who became Pines’ “faux goddaughter”; and Davin, Karla’s youngest son, who was “as honest and sincere as they come.” Ultimately, the stories here are simply amusing, at best, but the author’s voice and personality make this book highly entertaining. Pines is an honest, self-deprecating narrator (“Once we were boarded, I drugged myself with an Ambien, two Xanax, and two shots of vodka and woke up as we landed....Believe me when I say it’s in everyone’s best interest that I remain anesthetized on long international flights”), and reading his book feels like having a conversation with an old friend. This memoir is also notable for its real-life story of a committed gay couple living a peaceful domestic life, something rarely portrayed in the popular culture.
April 6, 2023
I was looking for a Will Trent book and this came up so, I got the audio after reading a one line of description about funny adventures. Then I was actually surprised when I figured out what I was listening to, a heartfelt bunch of stories of a gay man and his life adventures in a comic, serious, happy, sad and enjoyable way. Thoroughly enjoyed. GFY bible thumpers. Btw the Will Trent book sucked.
September 3, 2015
What a wonderful, fabulous story to read. Wasn't sure if it was fiction or non but after reading parts of it, you can't make this shit up (Bless his heart). Can I give it 10 stars? Laugh out loud read and will laugh and cry at the end. Loved. This. Book. (less)
September 6, 2016
At first I was skeptical, but I ended up really liking this book. A memoir, it is a strong story of about what constitutes "community". Trent Pines describes the intersections of family, neighbors and long-time friends all living in different situations, all bound together with love.
May 15, 2014
I laughed until I cried, and I just plain ol' cried. Such a refreshing book! LOVED it!!!
September 4, 2014
What a delightful read full of characters that I came to love. Lots of laughs. I cannot wait to meet the author and host a super fun book club next month!
March 12, 2021
Uplifting,crazy and wonderful
I could not put the book down!! I laughed and cried and even did both at once!! Well written! You actually feel like you're in the middle of all the love all these people have for each other!!
I could not put the book down!! I laughed and cried and even did both at once!! Well written! You actually feel like you're in the middle of all the love all these people have for each other!!
July 19, 2015
I liked learning the background of the charaters. Wish it was longer. I hope there will be more Punumbra books.
May 13, 2020
I read the blurb and the "About the Author" section and was so excited to read this book. It was a struggle to get through, though. The amount of typos is staggering. Take for instance Brian the kitchen guy … or is it Bob the kitchen guy? I'm not sure which as he is Brian in one paragraph, Bob the next, and Brian again in another paragraph. Or the play the "Beauty Queen of Leenane" or is it "Beauty Queen of Liani" … again, I'm not sure as it was the former at the beginning of a paragraph and the latter at the end of the same paragraph. Typos are hard enough to deal with in a book but in the back of the book … the recipe section … OhMyGosh … you canNOT have typos in recipes!
The chicken salad recipe calls for 1 teaspoons of ground white pepper. Is the "1" a typo or is "teaspoons" a typo? If teaspoons is correct then obviously "1" isn't correct so how many teaspoons do I use? ARG and this is just ONE example from this section.
Having said all this, I really do like the author's voice. Seems like he has about the same smart a** personality that I do. The Court "family" sounds like dream neighbors and I'd love to be invited to a porch session, if Trent and Ken still lived in the Court.
All in all I'd say the book is definitely a "read" but only with the CAUTION tag to BE AWARE OF THE CRAZY AMOUNT OF TYPOS.
The chicken salad recipe calls for 1 teaspoons of ground white pepper. Is the "1" a typo or is "teaspoons" a typo? If teaspoons is correct then obviously "1" isn't correct so how many teaspoons do I use? ARG and this is just ONE example from this section.
Having said all this, I really do like the author's voice. Seems like he has about the same smart a** personality that I do. The Court "family" sounds like dream neighbors and I'd love to be invited to a porch session, if Trent and Ken still lived in the Court.
All in all I'd say the book is definitely a "read" but only with the CAUTION tag to BE AWARE OF THE CRAZY AMOUNT OF TYPOS.
July 4, 2020
I just loved this book! It made me wish I lived on Altamont Court, or that I had neighbors who are like a big ole’ happy family like the residents of Altamont Court.
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August 26, 2020An ok book. Basically reading the authors diary / blog. Almost too detailed at times. Does have some funny parts and interesting information. Would be more interesting if you personally knew the author. Audio
April 14, 2020
In his "Life on Altamont Court," Trent D. Pines' conversational writing opens wide the front door of his charming, fixer-upper home, ushers us into his life with his partner, and makes us feel like a life-long friend. As they charm their quirky cadre of neighbors on Altamont Court, Pines leaves the reader wishing for the chance to pull up a chair at his next dinner party or pack a U-Haul and move in next door. The stories are heart-warming and laugh-out-loud funny, but have mercy...the chicken salad recipe alone is worth 50 times the cover price. Readers of Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, and Nora Ephron will worship this book. Read it TODAY, y'all. I promise you won't be sorry!
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews