Finding Sarah: A Duchess's Journey to Find Herself

by Sarah Ferguson

More than a year ago my life was so off course that I wondered whether I would ever be able to find my way back. I was broken and lost, not even sure where I was, but out of this emotional barrenness I knew I had to find me. And so, I took a journey to find myself and begin the process of healing all the broken places. Finding Sarah is the story of that journey.

So begins this extraordinarily personal memoir by Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York. She knows, firsthand, what it means to feel lost and she also knows that it is never too late to find your way back, to attain your goal, to take back control of your life and to make a special dream come true.

Through intimate diary excerpts and personal emails from friends and family, Sarah opens herself unsparingly. On every page of this book you will hear from her “real-life angels”—Dr. Phil McGraw, Suze Orman, Martha Beck, and many more—as they help her get to the root of her problems, from comfort eating to self-loathing, from reckless overspending to notorious mishaps. Sarah hopes that her experiences will inspire you to look closely at your own life and how you wish to improve it, then encourage you to follow your instincts and find your true path. Sarah Ferguson did, and so can you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Biography Memoir, Royalty, Autobiography, Audiobook

338 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 28, 2010

About the author

Sarah, Duchess of York, is a British writer, charity patron, public speaker, film producer and television personality. She is the former wife of Prince Andrew, Duke of York. Sarah has two daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie of York.

Reviews

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. Was hoping to be inspired, but found the book to be full of simplistic platitudes. She may have found herself but this book was a sad attempt to draw us into her journey.

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found the writing choppy and disconnected and the author to be very self-absorbed. Sarah seems to be a master at making mountains out of mole hills.

[Kylie Duthie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't quite know why I was drawn to reading this book. I think I was keen to have some insight into being part of the Royal Family. Even the free sample sucked me in. But this book was awful. I read about a third of it, and then just skimmed through the rest. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more if I had the same anxieties & issues as the author. But reading it as a well-balanced, generally content person, it was just so tedious. It was all about "Me Me Me" & "here's the next exotic place I went to on my search for healing" & "I have approximately 7,000 soul mates" (see Thank You notes at the end for proof of this last point). It was torture. It's incredibly rare that I don't finish a book (I even battled to the end of The Finkler Question in case that became more enjoyable - It didn't). My advice is DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had previously watched the documentary "Finding Sarah" and found it interesting. I like Fergie and admire her for trying so hard, especially that bit in Yellowknife. Whew! It seems that she often gets little credit for the good she does, but is pounced on gleefully for every error, whether intentional or not.
Having said all that, I am astounded at what her idea of "having no money" is. When I have no money, I can't hop on planes to stay with the rich and famous and be helped in my quest by the world's experts in every field. I did get to buy this book at Dollar tree and read about someone getting to do that, though, so I got my vicarious thrills anyway. While I was there, I got herbal tea and a scented candle.....my own version of a spa....

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess Of York gets big points for being forthright and honest about the tabloid situations she find herself in at several points of her life. We meet her at her lowest point when one of them has drawn in her ex-husband, and love of her life Prince Andrew. Oprah takes Sarah in hand and gets her to commit to remaking her life mostly in front of a television camera.

The author was emotionally neglected by selfish parents including a mother who left her children and lived a world away. To her credit, by all indications the Duchess of York has done the opposite for her children. She has raised her daughters with love and dedicated herself to their well being, by extension she favors charity work that assist children.

In other areas of life, she's lacking: financial savvy, self esteem, healthy living and spirituality. Or so we're lead to believe as we go through the year with her and follow her progress through prose, her diary entries and way too many emails from friends that echo the same theme of "don't worry you'll be fine".

Some of the self help advice is interesting as are some of her revelations. Each chapter ends with "nuggets" that break down the essentials she's learned and in the chapter.

Most of what Sarah is exposed to you can find by watching the show or reading books or listening to DVD/CDs from the contributors.

And that's where the book loses me, few of us will be able to conduct our journeys with face to face sessions from Dr. Phil, from Martha (the Oprah life coach), from leading holistic doctors, from Suze Orman, from a well known shaman, etc. We're not lucky enough to spend weeks at seaside mansions owned by friends or to detox at spas or find spiritual enlightenment at a facility in Thailand. (I'm fine with not being able to take a frostbite filled trek through the Northwest Territory.)

So I wish Sarah, the Duchess Of York well and I admire her for her dedication to her children and ex-husband. That bond appears strong on both sides, I hope she can break the tabloid's grip on her life. I just take the common sense things clear to all and move on with those knowing Dr. Phil won't be knocking on my door and neither will Suze Orman.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit long maybe but I have traveled some of her journey, in having separated from my husband and the dramas with friends, rumours, assumptions and hurts. As with Sarah, I had to work hard to reestablish relationships with my children. However, I wasn't a Duchess, so I didn't have the bad press neither the same level of intense surveillance or the paparazzi trying to sell papers. However, I felt that friends and even family had become judge & jury - I too suffered the hurt of some deciding that I was "at fault" in the marriage break-up - I often felt that I was under intense scrutiny. Like Sarah, I had to struggle with issues of self image and to prove that I could live a celibate happy life without a man, and adjust to living on my own and rebuilding a sense of usefulness and meaning in life. I think that Sarah has written a hard book to write - she has been extremely respectful to 'The Royals'- but open and honest about her journey.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you like to hear a person whine about everything you can think of, this book is for you. She complains about not having money but she had $300,000 to put down on a racing horse. She complained about having to let her house staff because she couldn't afford them. I know haw this could be tramitic.

If you think you have heard enough complaining, you have to hear about she did not have enough money when she was married to Andrew. They did not get as much money as Charles because they were not heir to the throne. I know when I went through my divorce that was part of my difficulties

I would not reccomed this book. It was really a waste of money. Sorry Sarah--you still need to keep looking for yourself.

[Ellen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was disappointed by this story. I'd hoped for a revealing perspective from a younger person than I who is also in the public eye because of her position in Britain's royal family. Instead, I got Oprahspeak and Dr. Philisms, for the most part.
I admit, I read the first few chapters and only skimmed the rest and did find what I expected--not much.

I won't discuss her personal journey here, but I hope she continues her seeking until she finds the truth of God.

[Jodi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Literally the worst book I have ever read. She should have saved all of this for her diary ... and left it there.

[Susan B · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a woman who has struggled all her life to find self-worth. Challenging enough for anyone, but especially for someone who's lived much of her life in the public eye, and made so many public blunders.

It was such a seeming-blunder that set Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, on the path to self-discovery. She needed to know why she continually made poor choices and wound up in scandalous predicaments.

While I am not a fan Oprah or New Age philosophy, and can therefore not agree with the spiritual conclusions Sarah reaches, I do admire her for taking on the difficult task of "finding" herself. At the end of each chapter, she offers "nuggets" to help the reader who may be on a similar journey or be strugging with the same sorts of issues. Some of these "nuggets" would seem common sense to many of us; some, I would opine, are on the "flaky" side.

Sarah emerges from the latest scandal a stronger person for finally facing her past and gaining self-understanding. She is blessed to have many resources at her disposal that the ordinary person would not have. Not everyone can go to Thailand, Hawaii, or the Northwest Territories as part of their healing process. Not everyone has the circle of friends Sarah does.

The best conclusion Sarah comes to is that God loves her and God has forgiven her of all that she has done. With all due respect, her definition of God is suspect, but otherwise it's a statement that could potentially be true.

One of my favourite lines from the book: "Pouncing on your pride is a greater sign of strength than pounding on your chest." (p. 81)

[Anne R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book written by Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York that I have read. I was interested because I was watching her documentary on the OWN Network. I started it with mixed feelings because part of me believed it would be no more than a written diary of the documentary that I had watched on television but it was much more.

I was so taken by the Duchess' elegant writing style (no co-author or ghost writer here) and her sensitivity, her spirituality and obvious vulnerable inner self. Without question, I loved her writing style and, I admit, I was surprised by her talent having known no more about her than something I might have read years ago in People magazine. She made me laugh and she made me cry. She made me root for her while not feeling sorry for her and she made me remember to root for myself.

I hope the book is an overwhelming success but, if it isn't, I believe Sarah did heal emotional wounds she has carried for decades and that is the most important achievement. Also, I believe that she found the inner strength to deal with people who have chosen her as a target to sell newspapers in the U.K. It is obvious U.K news "rags" will continue to ignore the overwhelming amount of good works she has had (i.e. the establishment of the non-profit organization Children in Crisis) because a photo of her caught with messy hair in a wind storm sells more papers than reporting on the opening of a new hospital ward for teenagers fighting terminal illnesses that was the result of her fund raising efforts.

[Shelly L. Snow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Ferguson in this book had made a series of poor choices that have been made public over the years due to her status as a British Royal. She talks about how she’s struggled to do good for others (she does this because she’s a natural people pleaser) and how things have blown up into very negative media events. In this book she relates her childhood, talks about her parents and events that have lead up to the person she is today.
Before reading this book I always have had an interest in Sarah Ferguson from the time she stepped on the world stage as Prince Andrew’s fiance. I’ve always thought she was beautiful and like her based what I have seen and read. In this book she reveals herself in a very personal way and makes a lot of private information public. She opens herself up to those of us who are fellow people pleasers and have gotten ourselves in a bit of trouble being this way. Like all of us she has flaws but has the loving support of her family which is something that some of us lack. While there is some new age philosophies’ in this book that I don’t agree with. Basically through out this book she’s taught by various people to slow down, be still, get some time to your self to regroup and think. This is something we all need to do from time to time.
If you’ve gone through your own personal catastrophe or keep making the same life mistakes, this book maybe able to give you some direction in self discovery. This is also a good read if you’re curious about Sarah Ferguson. I believe that it was Sarah’s intent when writing this book, so I highly recommend it.

[Meg - A Bookish Affair · Rating 2 out of 5]

I eat up just about any book about the British Royals. Even though Sarah Ferguson is technically no longer royalty, she's always sort of been a fascinating person to me. She seems to have really bad luck when it comes to getting into bad or embarrassing situations. This latest book comes after the fall out surrounding her allegedly (she denies this throughout the book) taking a bribe to give someone access to her former husband, Prince Andrew.

This book is also sort of a self-help book, a genre that I'm not usually a fan of. Of course after the fall out from the bribe issue, Oprah stepped in and gave Sarah access to all of her "gurus," Dr. Phil and Suze Orman, etc. The book covers a lot of what she discovered with these people. I'm not a huge fan of any of them. Add that to the fact that I'm not a self-help fan and this book was just really not for me.

I was hoping to hear more about Sarah's life. You do get a glimpse of that but not much of one. This book was just okay for me.

[Roxanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was surprised to learn about Sarah's childhoold and how much it has impacted her life to this day. Even though she feels she needs a lot of work, Sarah has really done incredible things with her life. Despite a few REALLY bad decisions, she is really a very powerful woman in her own right. Information regarding her late diagnosis of ADHD and how it affected her made an incredible amount of sense. Also, her honesty about going through her mid life changes also has impacted her without her even realizing it until recently. From what she writes, everybody should be so lucky to have an ex-husband like hers.

[Elena Dorothy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Book gives an incite into what Sarah Ferguson had to endure as a child, her upbringing, her struggle for survival then and now. Didn't realize she was Diana's cousin and that Diana introduced her to Andrew. How the Royals treated her and are as much to blame for her shenanigans as she is. Not all the stories that one reads in the magazines or newspapers are true, but do contribute to the misinformation that prevails about The Duchess of York. It is quite evident that Sarah in still deeply in love with Andrew and that Andrew is still deeply in love with Sarah. It's too bad these two can't get back together again and tell the Royals to go to blazes.

[Issa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. However, I found her to be extremely pretentious and her platitudes to be forced. Additionally, there were numerous letters she included from friends telling her how wonderful she is and it seemed so unnecessary and needy. I get that she has struggles with self-confidence, but it seemed too much like she was trying to fake being "fixed."

I do think that the media has been overly hard on her and sometimes extremely nasty and unfair over the years, so I do feel bad being so negative in my review, but I didn't get anything real out of this book.

[Annie Oortman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was so-so. I enjoyed reading the information, but couldn't relate to her journey. So much of it consisted of flying to this exotic location, to that spa, to this retreat, etc., all the while complaining about not having money. I enjoyed reading her emails to friends, but after awhile that got tedious as they all started to sound the same.

If you like the Duchess, please read it. If not, I'd look elsewhere for reading enjoyment.

[Herb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know why Goodreads keeps listing this as "Every Mother's Heart" when the book is clearly marked "Finding Sarah," so that's the title I'm reviewing it under. This is an interesting look back at the more recents trials and triumphs of our beloved Fergie, the Duchess of York. You can't help liking this flawed but generous and kind woman who has always captivated the hearts of the world. An interesting, and, ultimately, captivating account of Fergie's world.

[Joni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Must have been a cathartic exercise for the Duchess of York as it details her journey of self-discovery after a major scandal ripped through the headlines. She discusses the people in her life with candid thoughts including Diana, Princess of Wales. Sarah has not lived a charmed life; there has been sadness and tragedy, but as she learned to deal with loss and find herself she became stronger.

Her story was written to also help others who struggle with self-doubt, esteem problems, etc..

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fergie has been a tabloid favorite to be picked on through the years. As I was reading along as she went through her journey of finding herself, I could hear and feel the pain she had to endure. If you enjoy reading autobiographies or biographies about the royal family, you will enjoy reading this book.

[Lee-Ann Sleegers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished this book tonight and was pleasantly surprised by it. The book was an easy read, at times a bit too easy, however, it did provide a great deal of insight into the Duchess of York's life. I found that it wasn't a woe in me biography, but rather a true personal analysis of where Sarah has been and where she wants to go. I would be comfortable giving this book to other people to read.

[Carol Cropp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to admit that I skipped all the 'preachy' bits at the beginning of each chapter and thoroughly enjoyed reading the rest of it! But I did find myself wishing I could say to her 'Stop beating yourself up! None of us are perfect' I really hope she finds peace with herself because she is so worth it!

[Cynthia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Worth the dollar store price I paid. She has always cared too much about what other people think of her (according to the book) and she has had some serious baggage she sorted through with Oprah's experts. Blah.

[Mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this along with viewing the OWN network mini-documentary. I find Sarah to be sincere, and that she is making good progress in her search for her tru self.

[Mary Lopez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a fan of biographies. I felt for her and the painful childhood and failed marriage she suffered. I believe she felt broken but she was simply not a very articulate writer.

[Kathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty darn boring. The content was okay, but it was an audio book narrated by the author. REALLY bad reading Sarah!

[Virginia]

I am on page 177...I was reading it on a cruise and the cruise ended. I will try to finish it one day.

[Darlene Hull · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book. Some great advice shared along an interesting journey.

[Susan Montelius · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think on some level we all have a "soft" spot for the royals. I admit to it but I also want to know who they are - the person. I'm really not interested in tawdry details of their lives but I am never one to forget that they are indeed human and no one is perfect. In reading this book, I was most impressed at the admission of mistakes, the feelings of guilt and shame. THIS is the person! People in general tend to anxiously build someone to pedestal status when they take a liking to them but are just as quick to want to tear them down when they slip from the very status they built them up to. I believe this is what happened with Sarah Ferguson. She did make a statement though toward the end of her book when she reflects on the day she married. She was reminded that the cheers were more about the occasion than it was about her (or Andrew). That is a VERY telling statement. THAT is what people do...they inflate the occasion and dismiss the people involved. Don't even get me started on the media and the parts they play in destroying one's character, feelings, reputation....they take one iota of truth and spoon feed us the trash they make up...sadly, we tend to eat up the trash they feed us without any regard for the person being trashed. This book has many lessons for all of us...too bad it is not fraught with enough drama to keep those who need to read it and learn from it won't.

[Mikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

The synopsis sums this memoir up very well. I've always liked Sarah, aka Fergie, with her bubbly, fun-loving personally, so it didn't surprise me that she found it hard to fit in with the then-very staid Royal family. What I didn't know about was the 'baggage' she was lumbering under before her marriage and how that affected her attitude and actions, especially after her divorce from Prince Andrew. That she felt compelled to dispel her personal demons and then worked towards that goal so diligently was admirable. Ten years have passed since the book's publication, so I anticipate that she as continued to work on her personal and spiritual growth. She has certainly kept a relatively low profile since her adventures. Now she's a grandmother, still living with her ex - who is also a flawed person although Fergie tended to see him otherwise (is that still true I wonder?) - and she is presumably still working on herself while she continues to throw herself into her life's work in children's charities.