Paint It Black: A Guide To Gothic Homemaking

by Aurelio Voltaire

Home decorating will never be the same. Close your curtains Throw away your summery linens Forget about those white eyelet pillow covers And for Goth's sake, buy some black lights Voltaire is here to help you with your home decorating dilemmas, guide you through the hardware stores and decorating centers (which are so difficult for Goths to navigate), and lay it all out on the line about which shade of black goes with which shade of black. Who knows? One day soon he might have his own decorating line at a discount store. In this world of pastels and plaids, it's so hard for Goths to find anything aesthetically appealing. You go in search of Edward Gorey and wind up with an eyeful of Eddie Bauer. With Voltaire's Paint It Black you can turn the unbearably mundane into the delightfully macabre with little more than a touch of creativity and a can of black spray paint.

Genres: Nonfiction, Goth, Humor, Gothic, Education, Dark, Crafts

102 pages, Hardcover

First published August 30, 2005

Reviews

[Allison Floyd · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fast read full of fun, easy, affordable projects (at least they seem to be--my forays into interior decorating tend to be of the armchair variety), many of which could be made to suit whatever aesthetic you might prefer. The tone of voice started to grate, though. While tongue and cheek remain well-acquainted throughout, just when I'd be sold that this book has the proper sense of humor about itself, there'd be a gem about Goths vs. Normals (i.e. The Normals Aren't Goths Because They're Afraid To Be Different).

Really, Voltaire?

I mean, I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside, too, but maybe some people just feel mauve inside.

Let's celebrate diversity, people.

[Mer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nudge nudge, wink wink, all the way to the bank.

[Katey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Back when I was but a teenager, I supposed I was Goth (or whatever that meant in the mid-90s in suburban Chicago). Now I fully realise I wasn't; I was just weird and morbid and labeling was easiest back then.

Anyway, I still have some aesthetic tendencies that might be considered Gothic, but after reading this book, I see that I enjoy the subtler qualities of it. Thankfully the author poked much fun at the whole Goth mentality, and there were a few projects/ideas that I see as workable, like aging a blank book or doing something with cheap frames, if only tweaked a bit so they aren't so, well, cheesy. Even if you are Goth, you can be more creative than skulls and bats. Really.

[Elaine Meszaros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want to be Gother than thou on a minimal budget? Voltaire has it all - gothing out your home with paint, fabric, electrical tape and a glue gun. As with his fantastic music (Ex-Lover’s Lover, When You’re Evil), comic books (O My Goth!) and other books (What is Goth - featuring the gothic poem generator) the book is dark dark, darkity-dark while also being ridiculously, totally over the top silly and fun. Not planning to paint it black? Read it anyway, just for Voltaire’s commentary.

"The Glue Gun: If you have never used a glue gun before, then I am honored to introduce to you a tool that is going to make you Gother than you could ever imagine. Why, you ask? Well, I have been using glue guns for nearly twenty years now and I have never met a glue-gun user (including myself) who hasn’t at some point squirted a heaping dollop of blazing, molten glue into the palm of his or her hand. And let me tell you that as Goth as you think you are, you have never known the unfathomable depths of excruciating anguish and despair than will be revealed when you’ve done this… Suffice to say, nothing else you’ve experienced in your wretched life will be as shite-poem inspiring as this hellish experience."

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

13 year old me, especially with the struggles of dial up internet, would have loved this. But I'm not 13 and it's 2019. Still somewhat hilarious to read but not for the reasons the author would have liked.

[kc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Voltaire's new goth DIY book is coming out in August, so I had to read this one first. His tone and levity elevate what could be a run-of-the-mill DIY book to a quick but delightful read (I mean...sinister and soul-sucking). If you've watched his gothic homemaking series on YouTube, you're in for the same cheesy yet endearing Goth Dad vibe. Definitely not for those who prefer their gothiness more snarky or mature (some horny teen vibes bordering on slightly creepy: "I took 50 photos of this hot goth lady licking the spatula!") but check it out if you're dark, spooky, AND can laugh at yourself.

[Michelle Morrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yay, I finally own this! Theoretically "rare," I've been searching for a reasonable copy of this for years, I finally traded in a Christmas gift card and paid the pretty penny. Super not happy to find the package thrown over my fence where it sat in the rain for a day, but thankfully the book itself was unscathed.

I just adore Voltaire's voice, and his style, and his "make it yourself" can-do attitude. A slight book, but still full of gothy DIY ideas. I spent a happy afternoon walking through his world.

[Sabrina Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book's author as a musician so I had no doubt the book would be great. Bringing great humor and dashing good looks to the often curmudgeonly Goth community, Paint It Black gave me tips I didn't know I needed after I moved in with my charmingly traditional fiancé. We were actually able to read this book together and create an edgy vintage home we could both tolerate! It's a fun book, easy to follow, with your daily recommended dosage of black.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting look into some of his living arrangements.

[Clarissa M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nostalgic af

[Victoria · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found this book listed on a booksellers website under "Weird Titles" so I added it to my "must read list". I was thinking this would be a book about some cool crafts that other Goths had made and was sharing or pictures of rooms decorated in a Goth style. What I got instead was again another "how to" book. No surprises here. Want to make something Goth? Spray paint it black, throw in some black electrical tape, add some skulls, bats or dried flowers and there you go, (or should I say there you Goth?).

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

A guide to gothic homemaking, he says. Damn right, he is! Although this little gem is a bit too tiny to my likings, it's filled with great info and ideas for transforming the most boring dorm room into a somptuous gothic den. From modifying toys to covering walls with draperies, you can be sure this book will help you. However, it's a quick read; a few more projects should have been included to justify the price.

[Laura Morrigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short, enjoyable guide to some aspects of Goth decorating told with tongue in cheek humour. The advice is also good for those on a low budget. I enjoyed reading it but never used any of the tips, so while it was enjoyable, it wasn't much use to me, but then again I have more Victorian/Steampunk taste in design. I did like the graveyard cake, though. I enjoyed how the book encouraged people to do things their own way, such as having a wedding that reflects who you are not what others want.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not only HILARIOUS, but also inspired a renewed interest in domesticity in myself. Granted, it was an off-kilter version of domesticity, but still led to a number of projects that made me happy for years after. (I mourn the loss of my gothsheepy...)

[Natalie Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a lot of fun! Silly but full of great ideas for goth-ing up your home. ^.^ Especially with customizing things to your liking and tastes. Definitely worth reading and having on had for future projects.

[Danyell · Rating 5 out of 5]

essential to keeping-up house!

[Willa Guadalupe Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE this little gem- how to make a goth living space in a few short pages- Voltaire rocks!

[Kimberly Tien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book! Teaches the norms of Gothic living and how to make your living space decked out Victorian!

[Zombaby Cera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant ideas in gothic home-making! Lots of humor as well.

[Spooky · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is so much fun! It gave me some great ideas for xmas presents, decorating my apartment and birthday cakes. A must-have for any crafty Goth!

[Skullgirl22 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for DIY Gothic decorating from artist and singer Voltaire. If you are a craft oriented person or even if you are not,the book has very easy and cool ideas to decorate your gothic lair.

[Danielle Ryder · Rating 2 out of 5]

Neat ideas, but could have found everything contained on the internet as well, so...

[Siiri Cressey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want Voltaire to decorate my house. I don't care what my landlord says.

[Val Cuellar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a signed copy of this book. I absolutely loved all the decorating projects, I wish I could made all of them. This is an easy afordable guide-to build an amazing lair.

[Adrienne]

Because it sounds funny.