What do you think?
Rate this book
Heroes of Grant's Crossing #1
Wayward Guilt
Three friends leave home to serve their country. Only two make it back.
After the twin towers fall, Derek Mitchell enlists in the U.S. Army with two of his best friends. He dreams of helping people, whether in the field of combat or back home in Grant's Crossing, Ohio.
Juan dreams of marrying his high school sweetheart and starting a family.
Joey dreams of being happy and living his own truth.
Together, they serve in multiple deployments until Juan and Joey are each grievously injured in separate combat missions. Thirteen years after initially enlisting, one doesn’t make it back.
Four months after the funeral, friends and family gather to celebrate Derek’s return to civilian life. With each story shared, he relives their final missions together, carrying the guilt of having saved one friend but not the other.
What do you do when the one friend you’ve always turned to is no longer there?
No part of this book was created by generative AI. This was 100% my own creation. CW: Domestic violence, attempted suicide, combat violence, grief.
After the twin towers fall, Derek Mitchell enlists in the U.S. Army with two of his best friends. He dreams of helping people, whether in the field of combat or back home in Grant's Crossing, Ohio.
Juan dreams of marrying his high school sweetheart and starting a family.
Joey dreams of being happy and living his own truth.
Together, they serve in multiple deployments until Juan and Joey are each grievously injured in separate combat missions. Thirteen years after initially enlisting, one doesn’t make it back.
Four months after the funeral, friends and family gather to celebrate Derek’s return to civilian life. With each story shared, he relives their final missions together, carrying the guilt of having saved one friend but not the other.
What do you do when the one friend you’ve always turned to is no longer there?
No part of this book was created by generative AI. This was 100% my own creation. CW: Domestic violence, attempted suicide, combat violence, grief.
336 pages, Paperback
First published July 25, 2023
9 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
July 16, 2023
I got on with this writing style straight away and felt for Derek after losing his best mate.
Each of these men ends up in a thought situation and a special place in my heart, especially Derek, after losing his best mate and everything he has to endure.
Every generation of warriors since the dawn of time has experienced survivor's guilt. Why him rather than me? The query is unanswered. Brown deftly navigates loss and pain, and her writing makes you cry.
The dual timeline makes it even easier to relate to Derek as we see how his friendship has been forged over the years, making the loss even more impactful when it has happened to his near-enough brother.
A Important but impactful story I would highly recommend.
But link https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wayward-Guil...
Each of these men ends up in a thought situation and a special place in my heart, especially Derek, after losing his best mate and everything he has to endure.
Every generation of warriors since the dawn of time has experienced survivor's guilt. Why him rather than me? The query is unanswered. Brown deftly navigates loss and pain, and her writing makes you cry.
The dual timeline makes it even easier to relate to Derek as we see how his friendship has been forged over the years, making the loss even more impactful when it has happened to his near-enough brother.
A Important but impactful story I would highly recommend.
But link https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wayward-Guil...
August 28, 2023
excellent
I tend to lean more toward science fiction and fantasy; this is not the type of book I would normally pick up.
That said, these characters are ones you connect with on page one, and their depth and color only continue to grow as the story continues.
Highly recommended, and I’m looking forward to the next book!
I tend to lean more toward science fiction and fantasy; this is not the type of book I would normally pick up.
That said, these characters are ones you connect with on page one, and their depth and color only continue to grow as the story continues.
Highly recommended, and I’m looking forward to the next book!
August 5, 2023
Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve read something that I know is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.. Wayward Guilt is one of those stories.. It takes a lot to make me cry and this book crushed my soul in Chapter 1!! CHAPTER ONE PEOPLE!! The story follows the life of Joey Parker and all the lives he touched in his short time on earth as well as his time serving after 9/11 as an Army Ranger. This book had everything from heartwarming friendships and finding your true identity to relationships and heartbreak. This is SUCH a special story, THANK YOU for telling it!! ⭐️: 5/5 🌶️: 1.5/5
July 12, 2023
Three best friends enlist after 9-11, when the dust settles only two come home. This book could have been subtitled “Joey’s Story,” as his life is told in flashbacks from the memories of his friends and family.
Survivors guilt is a phenomenon every generation of warriors from the beginning of time has dealt with. Why him and not me? The question has no answer. Brown navigates the grief and heartbreak skillfully and her prose brings tears to the eyes. Dealing with this misplaced guilt through “self medication” with alcohol or drugs is common. Her characters are not immune.
In addition to the ordeal of losing a loved one, this book brings in issues of the US military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy and how gays in the military needed to conceal their true natures from everyone, even friends and family. The love story embedded in the heart of this book is beautifully wrought.
There is much loss and pain explored in Wayward Guilt but there is love and forgiveness as well. It’s a well rounded tale and worth a read from this new author.
Survivors guilt is a phenomenon every generation of warriors from the beginning of time has dealt with. Why him and not me? The question has no answer. Brown navigates the grief and heartbreak skillfully and her prose brings tears to the eyes. Dealing with this misplaced guilt through “self medication” with alcohol or drugs is common. Her characters are not immune.
In addition to the ordeal of losing a loved one, this book brings in issues of the US military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy and how gays in the military needed to conceal their true natures from everyone, even friends and family. The love story embedded in the heart of this book is beautifully wrought.
There is much loss and pain explored in Wayward Guilt but there is love and forgiveness as well. It’s a well rounded tale and worth a read from this new author.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2023
My eyes leaked several times as I read this debut novel from H.M.S. Brown. Told in flashbacks during a celebration of life for their friend, lover, brother, and son; it tells the story of a soldier who never made it home after more than a decade of service following 9/11 and the guilt and grief of the friend who couldn't save him.
I look forward to reading more of the lives of residents in this fictitious Ohio town of Grants Crossing.
I look forward to reading more of the lives of residents in this fictitious Ohio town of Grants Crossing.
July 19, 2023
This is an amazing book. I am not one to cry when I read a book, but this story had me reaching for the tissue box more than once. Ms. Brown pulls you into the lives of the residents of Grant's Crossing and makes you a part of their community. Ms. Brown is an amazing story teller and handles some very difficult and heart wrenching situations with grace and skill. As a reader, I cried, laughed, and loved with these characters. I cannot wait to read more from her.
September 1, 2023
Wayward Guilt (Heroes of Grant's Crossing book 1) by H.M.S. Brown is not the genre I generally read but the blurb was intriguing enough to pique my curiosity.
I’m not sure how to describe the story but I can tell you that while reading it I felt like a movie was playing in my mind. The characters’ actions and feelings were portrayed vividly and the narrative flowed at a good pace.
If you give this book a chance you will come to care about the characters’ lives, not only what happened in their pasts but also their futures. I’m interested in finding out what comes next for the Grant’s Crossing gang.
I’m not sure how to describe the story but I can tell you that while reading it I felt like a movie was playing in my mind. The characters’ actions and feelings were portrayed vividly and the narrative flowed at a good pace.
If you give this book a chance you will come to care about the characters’ lives, not only what happened in their pasts but also their futures. I’m interested in finding out what comes next for the Grant’s Crossing gang.
August 15, 2023
H.M.S. Brown should be very proud of her first book and I look forward to seeing where she takes the rest of the series.
July 17, 2023
This just sucked me in straight away I may have shed a tear or two. I don't usually like this style if writing but something just works with the way this author writes I will definitely revisit this book in the future.
Currently reading
August 13, 2023I've read around 1/2 of the book so far and I love the storytelling. The characters are so vivid, that I have the feeling I'd known them for years. A wonderful read that I will write more about when I finish the book.
July 21, 2023
The story takes place in a picturesque little town in Ohio called Grant's Crossing. With this in mind, the story begins with Derek, a young man who wants to enlist in the army, a thought that has been on his mind since the day he saw one of the most tragic events in America's history.
But in order to take that big step, all he wanted was his father's blessing, so when it was granted, Derek knew his life was about to change.
Fortunately, he wouldn't do this alone, since his best friend and childhood friend were with him. Having finished their basic training, they realized that they were about to become what they longed for.
But little did they know that only two of them would be able to tell what they had witnessed.
In this context, the plot will now focus on how these three friends met and how the survivors and the people around them try to heal the wounds left by the war.
With this in mind, I would like to mention a few things that I enjoyed about the book.
First, one of the best things about the book is the way the author makes you love all the characters. For example, I never expected to love Joey, because I knew from the first chapter that Joey was the one who wouldn't make it back. But that quickly changed because the more I read about Joey's past, the more unbearable it became to believe that he was already dead. Subsequently, I ended up crying during the last few chapters because I couldn't accept it.
Second, I liked the choice of the narrator, which was in the third person, because this allows readers to get all the points of view of the characters, which are really crucial to understand the story.
In short, this book is a heartbreaking story about friendship, loss, love, and coping with thoughts of guilt.
But in order to take that big step, all he wanted was his father's blessing, so when it was granted, Derek knew his life was about to change.
Fortunately, he wouldn't do this alone, since his best friend and childhood friend were with him. Having finished their basic training, they realized that they were about to become what they longed for.
But little did they know that only two of them would be able to tell what they had witnessed.
In this context, the plot will now focus on how these three friends met and how the survivors and the people around them try to heal the wounds left by the war.
With this in mind, I would like to mention a few things that I enjoyed about the book.
First, one of the best things about the book is the way the author makes you love all the characters. For example, I never expected to love Joey, because I knew from the first chapter that Joey was the one who wouldn't make it back. But that quickly changed because the more I read about Joey's past, the more unbearable it became to believe that he was already dead. Subsequently, I ended up crying during the last few chapters because I couldn't accept it.
Second, I liked the choice of the narrator, which was in the third person, because this allows readers to get all the points of view of the characters, which are really crucial to understand the story.
In short, this book is a heartbreaking story about friendship, loss, love, and coping with thoughts of guilt.
July 15, 2023
Wayward Guilt is the debut novel from H.M.S. Brown and it's an excellent debut!
From small town Ohio to the desert of Afghanistan, Brown takes us on an emotional ride to plumb the depths of love and loss and what it means to be a family.
Alternating between past and present, we come to know and love the friendship between Derek and Joey. Friends since grade school, they enlisted in the army together after 9/11 and their friendship lasted the years until one of them didn't make it back.
But throughout the novel, we also plumb the depths of the policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and the ramifications that has for Joey and his longtime boyfriend, Logan.
What makes Wayward Guilt stand out for a debut novel is how the story is clearly set up as the first of a series or trilogy. - and it's clear that there is more to come for Derek, Tank, Abe, and the rest of the Grant's Crossing crew. I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of the series.
Quite possibly my only issue with the novel is that Brown may have taken on too many social issues in one novel - for example, There was SO much going on that at times it felt like jumping from one disaster to another with no time to breathe in between.
I received an ARC for an honest review.
From small town Ohio to the desert of Afghanistan, Brown takes us on an emotional ride to plumb the depths of love and loss and what it means to be a family.
Alternating between past and present, we come to know and love the friendship between Derek and Joey. Friends since grade school, they enlisted in the army together after 9/11 and their friendship lasted the years until one of them didn't make it back.
But throughout the novel, we also plumb the depths of the policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and the ramifications that has for Joey and his longtime boyfriend, Logan.
What makes Wayward Guilt stand out for a debut novel is how the story is clearly set up as the first of a series or trilogy. - and it's clear that there is more to come for Derek, Tank, Abe, and the rest of the Grant's Crossing crew. I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of the series.
Quite possibly my only issue with the novel is that Brown may have taken on too many social issues in one novel - for example, There was SO much going on that at times it felt like jumping from one disaster to another with no time to breathe in between.
I received an ARC for an honest review.
July 24, 2023
~*~ARC READ~*~
When you are doing your job protecting your country and swore to protect and bring your friends home, you want to be sure to keep that promise. When you succeed with one friend, and he is able to return home, hurt but home, you are proud. But when you fail with the next one, where do you put the guilt, pain, and anger? How do you accept what you see as a failure, but everyone else tells you you didn't fail? This book speaks of many things surrounding the army, from don't ask, don't tell to the war on terror. But more, it covers and tells the story of the life of a young man gone before his time. It talks of a lifelong friendship brought to a sudden and tragic loss. It tells the story of a young man whose life has ups and downs. And it reveals how his loved ones, family, friends, and even a partner deal with life without him.
A wonderfully written inaugural book. I will gladly wait for the next book. Kudos to the author.
I read this as an ARC, and I am giving my honest review.
When you are doing your job protecting your country and swore to protect and bring your friends home, you want to be sure to keep that promise. When you succeed with one friend, and he is able to return home, hurt but home, you are proud. But when you fail with the next one, where do you put the guilt, pain, and anger? How do you accept what you see as a failure, but everyone else tells you you didn't fail? This book speaks of many things surrounding the army, from don't ask, don't tell to the war on terror. But more, it covers and tells the story of the life of a young man gone before his time. It talks of a lifelong friendship brought to a sudden and tragic loss. It tells the story of a young man whose life has ups and downs. And it reveals how his loved ones, family, friends, and even a partner deal with life without him.
A wonderfully written inaugural book. I will gladly wait for the next book. Kudos to the author.
I read this as an ARC, and I am giving my honest review.
July 25, 2023
While there is some military life, this is primarily a small town love story as observed or told through the experience of Derek watching his friend fall in love, come out, have a same sex relationship that is kept quiet while serving in the military, and adjust to civilian life after combat.
.
In reading this book, I had so many reactions to the military lifestyle she described, that it made me as a ‘military brat’ think I may have more PTSD from deployments, gulf war, and the revolving door of people coming and going then I had realized. This made it a tense and not relaxing read for me.
Overall she portrayed things well. And the trigger warnings before the story was appreciated.
*I received a copy for review purposes.
.
In reading this book, I had so many reactions to the military lifestyle she described, that it made me as a ‘military brat’ think I may have more PTSD from deployments, gulf war, and the revolving door of people coming and going then I had realized. This made it a tense and not relaxing read for me.
Overall she portrayed things well. And the trigger warnings before the story was appreciated.
*I received a copy for review purposes.
August 24, 2025
Miao Shan: The Awakening is a captivating blend of historical fiction, mythology, and coming-of-age transformation. Set in 1896 Hong Kong, the story begins with tragedy as young Chow Lei witnesses the brutal murder of her parents. This traumatic event sets her on a remarkable journey toward becoming Miao-Shan, the living Goddess of Justice. G.A.M. Morris vividly recreates the cultural and historical backdrop while weaving in mystical elements that elevate Chow Lei’s path from grief-stricken child to divine avenger. The narrative is both heart-wrenching and inspiring, filled with themes of resilience, destiny, and the eternal struggle for justice. With rich atmosphere and an empowering heroine, Miao Shan: The Awakening is a compelling tale of loss, strength, and transcendence.
November 12, 2023
For anyone who enjoys stories of family, friends, and found family - this book is for you.
This book is about a group of childhood friends who grow up and join the Army together and how things change during and after their enlistment. Never a dull moment.
I was thoroughly invested in the love story between Joey and Logan. I even teared up a little at the end. Totally worth reading. I look forward to book 2!
This book is about a group of childhood friends who grow up and join the Army together and how things change during and after their enlistment. Never a dull moment.
I was thoroughly invested in the love story between Joey and Logan. I even teared up a little at the end. Totally worth reading. I look forward to book 2!
June 23, 2024
This book had me from the dedication!
“ 92% of all soldiers in Iran and Afghanistan make it home alive”
Unfortunately, that was not Joey.
Derek, Juan and Joey grew up together and enlisted together together.
As time moves on,and those close to him deal with their grief, we get the story of their friendship from the day they meet, high school, prom, romances, heartbreaks, death.
This book is a real tearjerker with real characters, who you will remember long after the last page
“ 92% of all soldiers in Iran and Afghanistan make it home alive”
Unfortunately, that was not Joey.
Derek, Juan and Joey grew up together and enlisted together together.
As time moves on,and those close to him deal with their grief, we get the story of their friendship from the day they meet, high school, prom, romances, heartbreaks, death.
This book is a real tearjerker with real characters, who you will remember long after the last page
September 13, 2024
Jeez this was ....hard. so so hard. Be ready with a box of tissues if you read this book. It is so amazingly good and beautiful in its own way but it's a very hard read. Being a vet in any sense is hard but having to live through what they did. And a lot of people forget it's hard for the families too. For everyone. So well written.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
November 22, 2023
Fantastic Read
This book just pulled me in from the first paragraph. It was like you were there and these people were you friends and relatives. It made tears come to my eyes and made me smile. I would recommend this book to everyone that loves to read.
This book just pulled me in from the first paragraph. It was like you were there and these people were you friends and relatives. It made tears come to my eyes and made me smile. I would recommend this book to everyone that loves to read.
March 2, 2024
This was really well written and drew me in from the very beginning. Great storyline that kept me engaged and wanting to finish it all at once. Can’t wait for the next one!
March 20, 2024
Grab your tissues before you start m, because this one comes at you immediately. This story was poignant, emotional, and enlightening. I’m so excited that book two is almost here!
July 28, 2024
Loved the book. Had to keep the tissues handy as there are some very poignant scenes, especially in the beginning. The characters show their friendship and love for those in their lives.
December 19, 2024
If you love books that make you cry, grab this. I cried within the first 20 pages. H.M.S. Brown is talented.
The story is about Joey's life and the impact he had upon his family and friends. I don't like reading (or watching) M/M romance. If you're like me, don't let that keep you away from this book. There are a couple spicy scenes but they're brief. It's a heart warming and heart wrenching story encompassing family and chosen family, military life, and the affects on those back home. Joey was such a kind, giving, caring man who was taken too soon.
H.M.S. Brown definitely did her research and it shows. Very good job telling a story that needed to be told.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
The story is about Joey's life and the impact he had upon his family and friends. I don't like reading (or watching) M/M romance. If you're like me, don't let that keep you away from this book. There are a couple spicy scenes but they're brief. It's a heart warming and heart wrenching story encompassing family and chosen family, military life, and the affects on those back home. Joey was such a kind, giving, caring man who was taken too soon.
H.M.S. Brown definitely did her research and it shows. Very good job telling a story that needed to be told.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews