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The Drunken Exorcist
Think you know something about exorcisms? You don’t know Schnitt.
Fresh on probation for his unconventional methods of handling exorcisms, Father Schnitt is burdened to describe his encounters with the possessed. With brutal honesty and nothing to hide, the rogue Father details his procedures for extraction and his arsenal of weaponry including a crucifix, shotguns, and machetes. Last, but not least, whiskey is not only the Father’s cause of addiction, but also serves as his greatest weapon and ally.
“Exorcisms are like removing nails from a piece of wood. Some of them come out nice and clean, but there are always a few stubborn ones that require more effort. As you dig and grind to reach the stuck nail, the piece of wood becomes ruined. That’s where I come in, when things turn to ruin.” – Father Schnitt
Fresh on probation for his unconventional methods of handling exorcisms, Father Schnitt is burdened to describe his encounters with the possessed. With brutal honesty and nothing to hide, the rogue Father details his procedures for extraction and his arsenal of weaponry including a crucifix, shotguns, and machetes. Last, but not least, whiskey is not only the Father’s cause of addiction, but also serves as his greatest weapon and ally.
“Exorcisms are like removing nails from a piece of wood. Some of them come out nice and clean, but there are always a few stubborn ones that require more effort. As you dig and grind to reach the stuck nail, the piece of wood becomes ruined. That’s where I come in, when things turn to ruin.” – Father Schnitt
- GenresHorror
71 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 2, 2013
2 people are currently reading
563 people want to read
About the author
K. Trap Jones
67 books114 followersK. Trap Jones is a 3-time Splatterpunk Award nominated author / editor of horror novels / anthologies and a decade's worth of short stories. His novel, The Sinner won the 2010 Royal Palm Literary Award.
Other novels include: The Drunken Exorcist, The Big Bad, The Charm Hunter, The Harvester, The King's Ox, One Bad Fur Day and the upcoming splatter western, The Bounty on Jed and Nugget.
He is the owner of The Evil Cookie Publishing and is the Co-Founder of The Splatter Club. As a product of the '80s, he likes his movies bloody and his music heavy. Trap can be found lurking around Tampa, FL
"There's a new generation of horror writers bursting onto the scene, and Jones is one of the leaders of the pack." -- EDWARD LEE, author of City Infernal, Header, and The Bighead
________________________________
Website: http://www.theevilcookie.com
Facebook: K Trap Jones
Twitter: @ktrapjones
Other novels include: The Drunken Exorcist, The Big Bad, The Charm Hunter, The Harvester, The King's Ox, One Bad Fur Day and the upcoming splatter western, The Bounty on Jed and Nugget.
He is the owner of The Evil Cookie Publishing and is the Co-Founder of The Splatter Club. As a product of the '80s, he likes his movies bloody and his music heavy. Trap can be found lurking around Tampa, FL
"There's a new generation of horror writers bursting onto the scene, and Jones is one of the leaders of the pack." -- EDWARD LEE, author of City Infernal, Header, and The Bighead
________________________________
Website: http://www.theevilcookie.com
Facebook: K Trap Jones
Twitter: @ktrapjones
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 11, 2013
This was one hell of a fun read, with a fantastic main character, demons and a unique/original storyline, and the perfect blend of wit and terror. Plenty of action and coolness in this one. Would make a great film.
July 15, 2017
Though K. Trap Jones has been around for awhile, I was lured in by the latest buzz that seems to be surrounding his name. I decided to dip my toes into the K. Trap pool with THE DRUNKEN EXORCIST. Its a short novella and is probably a good example of his writing capabilities. The book is short (54 pages by my Nook's figuring) but I made it last, reading in short bursts during downtime at work.
I found THE DRUNKEN EXORCIST to be a bit tame for a book that gets tagged as Splatterpunk. It is nonetheless an extreme horror offering. Mostly it comes off as a series of short stories of an Exorcist with questionable techniques told in diary form. The sections themselves are fun and imaginative. Each exorcism described was fun and out of the box from more pedestrian exorcism tales. My only problem was that there wasn't much of a plot to follow along with the stories. At least, not until the end where everything was pulled together and the narrative was rescued and tied up nicely into a plot.
All in all, I enjoyed THE DRUNKEN EXORCIST. Not as 'splatterpunky' as I had anticipated but if I just categorize it as more of an extreme horror piece it is more palatable. I enjoy K. Trap's straightforward style and I anticipate I will be reading more from Jones in the future.
I found THE DRUNKEN EXORCIST to be a bit tame for a book that gets tagged as Splatterpunk. It is nonetheless an extreme horror offering. Mostly it comes off as a series of short stories of an Exorcist with questionable techniques told in diary form. The sections themselves are fun and imaginative. Each exorcism described was fun and out of the box from more pedestrian exorcism tales. My only problem was that there wasn't much of a plot to follow along with the stories. At least, not until the end where everything was pulled together and the narrative was rescued and tied up nicely into a plot.
All in all, I enjoyed THE DRUNKEN EXORCIST. Not as 'splatterpunky' as I had anticipated but if I just categorize it as more of an extreme horror piece it is more palatable. I enjoy K. Trap's straightforward style and I anticipate I will be reading more from Jones in the future.
May 4, 2024
4 stars
I had a ball with this one...some editing issues..but this one rocked...
I had a ball with this one...some editing issues..but this one rocked...
March 7, 2014
Holy crap this book is awesome! Do yourself a favor... grab a beverage of your choosing, plant your ass in a comfy chair, and READ THIS BOOK!
April 6, 2021
Great book. I loved the journal format and how it was a different take on exorcism stories.
June 12, 2023
Whiskey. The elixir to life and sometimes to death. And also an excellent vehicle to trap demons within the bottles.
February 22, 2014
The premise here is fun enough. Remove all the prissy elements from exorcism stories and replace them with butt kicking and guns and liquor and anger and awesomeness. You had me at the bad pun on the back page description. I was expecting raucous rock n' gore with maybe a bit of religious background to give it heart. Throw in a noirish broken and bitter main character and I might swoon..
Unfortunately, I couldn't maintain my excitement while reading. It became incredibly clear three chapters in that Jones was falling into the common trap (see what I did with the pun there?) of the journal format: a series of events that don't quite constitute a story. Too many of the chapters are simply a description of a demon the good father fought. Coming in at a scant 90 pages, it really could have been cut down by half with no one noticing the difference. Maybe this structure could have worked better if the demons were given more personality, but they were nothing more than one note jokes outlined in the title of the chapter. Even the main character is kept pretty thin, and you spend most of the time in his head. He comes across as nothing more than a guy who kills people to get demons out because demons are bad. We also aren't really given a reason to believe that last statement, besides the fact that they take over people who have no life beyond becoming possessed. The professor could have been interesting, but he spouted some rhetoric and was torn up too quickly to find out.
Then there are the more nit picky things. I usually don't gripe about editorial concerns but there were far too many downright weird choices in wording that turned the prose clunky and completely pulled me out of the tale. “I awoke by the sound of tapping on glass” may not be grammatically abhorrent, but it hits the ear all wrong. There are also a few factual problems. The one that killed everything for me pops up near the end, with the mention of “Father Christopher, leader of the church.” That's his title. We're all pretty comfortable in the knowledge that the Catholic Church is the only one that has traditionally believed in exorcism. I'm sure we all know what the title of the head of the catholic church is, and it isn't “leader”. That proved too much for me.
If you look at it as a collection of tiny vignettes of a man who kicks bahooky for the lord (glory be to St Peter Jackson), then you'll probably have a decent time. I just couldn't find it for myself here.
Unfortunately, I couldn't maintain my excitement while reading. It became incredibly clear three chapters in that Jones was falling into the common trap (see what I did with the pun there?) of the journal format: a series of events that don't quite constitute a story. Too many of the chapters are simply a description of a demon the good father fought. Coming in at a scant 90 pages, it really could have been cut down by half with no one noticing the difference. Maybe this structure could have worked better if the demons were given more personality, but they were nothing more than one note jokes outlined in the title of the chapter. Even the main character is kept pretty thin, and you spend most of the time in his head. He comes across as nothing more than a guy who kills people to get demons out because demons are bad. We also aren't really given a reason to believe that last statement, besides the fact that they take over people who have no life beyond becoming possessed. The professor could have been interesting, but he spouted some rhetoric and was torn up too quickly to find out.
Then there are the more nit picky things. I usually don't gripe about editorial concerns but there were far too many downright weird choices in wording that turned the prose clunky and completely pulled me out of the tale. “I awoke by the sound of tapping on glass” may not be grammatically abhorrent, but it hits the ear all wrong. There are also a few factual problems. The one that killed everything for me pops up near the end, with the mention of “Father Christopher, leader of the church.” That's his title. We're all pretty comfortable in the knowledge that the Catholic Church is the only one that has traditionally believed in exorcism. I'm sure we all know what the title of the head of the catholic church is, and it isn't “leader”. That proved too much for me.
If you look at it as a collection of tiny vignettes of a man who kicks bahooky for the lord (glory be to St Peter Jackson), then you'll probably have a decent time. I just couldn't find it for myself here.
December 6, 2013
An interesting concept, that the way the Church performs exorcisms is wrong and demons must be violently ripped from their hosts with the help of whiskey, carries this novella. There is plenty of humor and plenty of cringe worthy moments which will delight the horror fan. Unfortunately, the Kindle version is in desperate need of a pass by an editor with a good eye. There are numerous instances of incorrect word usage which pulled this reader out of the story.
January 3, 2015
great dark humor read
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews