50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know Revised and Expanded: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why (A Guide to Etiquette, Manners, and Skills for a ... ... and Young Men

GentleManners Books

by John Bridges, Bryan Curtis

50 Things Every Young
Gentleman Should Know is a young man’s guide to becoming the type of guy
that people respect and enjoy. He knows how to shake hands. He knows how to be
a good sport. He knows how to give a genuine compliment and how to speak his
mind without being offensive. His friends listen to what he has to say, and he
returns the favor. He knows how to achieve the perfect knot in a necktie, and more
important, he knows when he should be wearing a tie in the first place. Oh, and
his favorite ball cap? He knows when to wear it and when to leave it at home on
his dresser. Becoming a gentleman doesn’t happen in an instant; it’s a lifelong
exercise in refining etiquette, social interaction, and personal discipline. It
all begins here.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Parenting, Reference, Personal Growth, Personal Development, Psychology

207 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 31, 2006

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

John Bridges is the author of the bestselling book, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, today's most popular guide to etiquette for the modern man. When it comes to handling any issue related to courtesy, common or uncommon -- whether it's how to use a shrimp fork, how to conduct yourself in a business meeting, or knowing when to turn off your cell phone -- John is "Mr. Right."

"Over the course of my life, I've been to a lot of parties," says John. "What I've learned is that it's not enough simply to get invited. What's really important is knowing how to behave yourself, so you get invited back."

A native of Slapout, Alabama, John has served as Classical Music Editor for the Nashville Tennessean, and was an award-winning columnist and editor for the Nashville Scene. He also gained a wide following as an associate editor for Nostalgia magazine and as an etiquette columnist for Traditional Home.

John served for eight years as Director of Cultural Affairs for the City of Nashville. A frequent media guest, he has been featured on the "Today" show, "CBS Sunday Morning," and the Discovery Channel. He has been profiled in the New York Times and People magazine. His advice has repeatedly been sought out by major men's magazines such as Esquire, Men's Health, and Details. John is also the co-author, along with Bryan Curtis, of eight other books in the "Gentlemanners" series, a publishing phenomenon that has now sold more than 1.25 million volumes, world-wide.

HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN and other volumes in the "Gentlemanners" series have been translated into more than 15 foreign languages -- ranging from Spanish and Croatian to Latvian and Vietnamese.

Reviews

[Jim Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Personal Confession Time: Growing up I felt like an alien placed on this planet who had to study how to interact with people and learn how humans relate to one another. I saw other kids acting and playing like normal kids with each other but I largely did not understand how they knew to do such things. I was Sheldon Cooper without the genius intellect.

I would do or say things, observe the reaction and try to learn to recalibrate for future situations.

Eventually I found books like How To Win Friends and Influence People and books on different personality types which taught me a great deal and now I more or less comport like humans are expected. They were my Bible.

This book would have been (and still is a life saver) Sure, it’s not scintillating reading, but it is still a pretty easy and short read, and I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve said or done the wrong thing for the situation and have inadvertently hurt or offended people. This is a simple how to – Do This or Please Avoid That which takes all of the guess work out.

I’ve seen them sell these books at the cash register at Men's Warehouse, where they can tell you to dress like a normal human and now you can read how to act like one as well.

Disclaimer: To any and all alien pod people reading this review – please DO NOT go to Men's Warehouse to learn how to dress and act like us in order to infiltrate our society and take over. Please keep your quirky mannerisms that will allow us to easily detect you.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

read a few to my boys at the dinner table every night and discussed them. Think this might be one to own and keep close by!!

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned about this book just in time. Now I can teach my boys some important things before dating and going on their missions!

[Becka · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had some good advice, but the way it was presented was annoying. Every other sentence started with "A gentleman always..." or "A gentleman never...". It got annoying real quick. OK we get it, the book is about what gentleman should and should not do, I don't need a constant reminder.

Also, I read the 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know and was disappointed by the gender bias' between them. I was looking for books for my nieces and nephews mainly with advice regarding table manners. The ladies' book had a whole chapter on table manners and dinner etiquette but it was completely missing from the gentleman's book. Why do girls needs to know proper dinner etiquette but boys don't? Girls need to know all the proper etiquette but boys basically just need to be told not to scratch their balls or pick their nose at the table? No thanks.

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a great book, written with valuable advice and written in an accessible form.

My key takeways:
• Sorry is not enough – tell what you are going to do to make things right
• If you can’t repay for a mistake you have done, offer to work out an arrangement
• Keep distance from people who hurt your feelings
• When you accept apology, accept it fully, with no conditions
• Do write hand written thank you notes
• When someone compliments you, say ‘Thank you, I have work hard to achieve this.’
• Don’t keep quit when you have learnt that someone is going to do something wrong or something that could cause someone to be hurt
• Pay attention to what people like and dislike
• Spend an amount of money you can afford on a present
• Speak clearly and pleasantly over the phone. Let people know who they are talking to
• Losing builds character. It makes you try harder next time. Say Good game, Congratulations when you lose
• Find ways to occupy your mind when you are bored
• Let hosts know about your dietary restrictions
• Open the door for people, if you are in a close distance
• Never call attention to other person thoughtlessness
• If you don’t know how to dress well, ask women. Women love to recommend clothes
• Learn how to use an iron

[Bert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hehehe, what a great little book this is. It's addressed to young teenage men but really it's something that all men should own, no matter what your age. It's not a humour book but it's told in a rather humorous, light-hearted way that entertained me a bunch. My favourite part was when it was discussing how you should conduct yourself when at the movie theatre, very funny.

Chivalry is dead, manners are dead, saying "please" and "thank you" is a thing of the past sadly (I work in retail, believe me I know) but for those young men out there who pride themselves on having manners I'd suggest adding this fun guide to your collection.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am making my son read this as well - much of the advice is perfect for anyone, not just young men.

[Yuri Karabatov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute. Was over just when I hit a good pace (it's a bit under 200 pages). Would be useful if I were twelve or thirteen :)

[Yuvaraj kothandaraman · Rating 3 out of 5]

"50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why" by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis (published in 2006 by Thomas Nelson) is a straightforward etiquette guide targeting teenage boys. Rather than lecturing about proper conduct, the authors use conversational language, real-world examples, and genuine humor to explain why manners matter and how mastering them can improve a young man's social standing, romantic prospects, and future opportunities.

The book's greatest strength is its readable, non-preachy tone. Each chapter begins with a specific situation and explains what to do, what not to do, and why the behavior matters. For example, the "Saying Please" chapter explains that asking for a soda with "May I have a soda, please?" (correct) versus "Can I have some soda?" (incorrect) isn't about being stuffy, it's about showing respect to the person serving you. The authors use exaggerated humor, noting that if you don't use "please," your parents might ask themselves, "Should we even bother putting him in the will?"

The book includes helpful visual elements. There are illustrations showing proper handshake technique, how to tie a necktie correctly (with the tip reaching exactly to your belt,not three inches above or below), diagrams of proper fork usage, and clothing guidance. The writing style feels like advice from an older brother or trusted adult, not a stern authority figure.

The foundational social skills are covered thoroughly. Basics like saying "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" are explained with practical applications. The chapter on "Accepting an Apology" emphasizes forgiveness and moving forward. "Introducing Your Friends to Your Parents" includes the specific strategy of providing context about your friends so conversations flow naturally instead of awkwardly.

The book addresses genuine teenage concerns. There's a section on "Meeting People with Physical Challenges" that teaches respect without staring or asking intrusive questions like "What happened to your leg?" a practical lesson most teenagers genuinely need. The chapter on "Knowing When to Keep Your Mouth Shut" covers discretion about party invitations, keeping secrets, and when to break confidentiality if someone might be hurt.

Phone etiquette receives substantial attention. Cell phone usage (2006 era) includes respecting school rules, turning off ringers in movies and restaurants, and keeping calls quiet in public spaces. Taking phone messages gets its own chapter explaining that every call should be treated as potentially life-changing (Harvard calling, someone asking your sister to prom) and emphasizing the importance of writing messages down carefully with correct names and numbers.

The "Accepting Gifts" sections distinguish between gifts you like and gifts you don't like. For unwanted gifts, the authors advise simply saying "Thank you for thinking of me" without rolling your eyes or asking where it came from to exchange it. The thank-you note section provides actual sample letters showing appropriate tone.

Athletic conduct is addressed. Both "Winning Well" and "Losing Well" chapters emphasize that how you handle victory and defeat matters more than the outcome. Being a good winner means not bragging, not insulting losers, and accepting compliments graciously. Losing well means congratulating opponents even if they got lucky or the ref made a bad call, then improving privately rather than making excuses.

The book's 2006 publication date creates limitations for 2025 readers. Technology sections feel quaint, cell phones are presented as luxury items that need careful management, not ubiquitous devices. Text messaging gets mentioned briefly as something to limit, not as a primary communication method. The internet section focuses on chat rooms and stranger danger rather than social media, cyberbullying, or digital permanence.

The book's view of authority is uncritical. While teaching respect for adults is important, the book doesn't teach boys to question inappropriate behavior or recognize when adults might be wrong. The suggestion to "listen to and talk to adults" assumes all adults deserve this consideration equally. There's no discussion of what to do if an adult is inappropriate or abusive.

Socioeconomic realism is limited. The book assumes all readers have homes, family structures to navigate, ability to buy gifts, phones with calling plans, and money for restaurants and movies. There's no acknowledgment that many teenagers lack these resources or different cultural backgrounds that might have different approaches to respect and family.

The "Boundaries: Yours and Theirs" chapter, while addressing privacy, is cautious about actual privacy rights. The authors suggest asking parents nicely to knock, putting up "Do not disturb" signs, or locking the door, but frame it as a personal request rather than establishing a genuine boundary. There's no discussion of what to do if parents repeatedly violate privacy or of a teenager's actual right to personal space and privacy.

The computer section warns against giving out personal information to strangers and sending dirty jokes via email, but doesn't address online harassment, privacy settings, digital footprints, or the reality that things posted online can be screenshotted and shared. For a 2006 book targeting teenagers, this was already insufficient.

The physical challenges section, though well-intentioned, treats physical difference as something uncomfortable to navigate rather than normal human diversity. The framing suggests people with disabilities need special courtesy rather than just treating them as people. A more progressive approach would normalize disability from the start.

The advice on restaurants is practical. Choosing from a menu without complaining if they don't have your favorite food, using forks correctly (outside in, working your way in), using napkins, refusing foods politely ("No thank you, I'm not a fan of shellfish"), and ordering from a menu respectfully all receive clear explanation with "do" and "don't" examples.

Movie theater behavior is addressed clearly: turn off phones, don't talk during the film, laugh and react naturally, but don't comment on what's happening on screen. The explanation that there's no pause button in theaters (unlike at home) is actually helpful perspective building.

Air travel includes appropriate security checkpoint behavior ("don't complain or joke about bombs"), respect for fellow passengers, not hogging overhead bins, and keeping voices low. Given today's travel environment, some of this remains relevant.

What Feels Dated or Missing
The book doesn't address: mental health (what to do if someone seems suicidal or deeply depressed), substance use (how to handle peer pressure), sexual consent and healthy relationships, or online dating and social media etiquette. For 2006 this might have been acceptable, but reading it now feels like instruction for a world that no longer exists.

Practical Value Today:
The book's core lessons remain useful: treating service workers with respect, writing thank-you notes, listening to older people, accepting gifts graciously, shaking hands properly, and maintaining genuine conversation matter now as they did in 2006. Many of the social fundamentals are timeless.

However, the book functions as a nostalgic time capsule of early-2000s American middle-class etiquette more than a practical guide for contemporary teenagers. A teenager reading this today would need to translate advice about cell phone etiquette to an era of smartphones and TikTok, update the technology sections entirely, and recognize that social dynamics have shifted significantly in 19 years.

Best for:
Parents seeking to introduce basic etiquette to teenage sons,
readers interested in early-2000s American social norms,
anyone wanting straightforward thank-you note examples or formal dining guidance,
those appreciating nostalgic perspectives on manners.

My rating:3.5/5

[Mark Muckerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Gentleman" is not a dirty word.

It's the little differences, the social graces, which separate the gentleman from the common man. It is not top hats, capes and attending the opera. It is holding doors for a lady, saying thank you for a gift in all circumstances, and knowing which silverware to use, and when. It is knowing when to speak, and when to hold commentary; it is knowing what to say and what not to say in changing circumstances.

Bridges once again provides an insightful, thoughtful and practical practicum for the young man, and any man, who aspires to behave most appropriately in unexpected situations.

More gentlemen wouldn't be a bad thing. . .

[Nat Harward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bought this book as an undergrad and re-read now -- will give it away soon so someone can make use of it. While it's meant for boys around ages 10-16, I found helpful tips in it both times. Helpful in the sense that it's always good to think about things from another's perspective -- and that's what 90% of manners is. Seeing things from someone's point of view and behaving with care for their position.

[Laela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find myself walking around telling my family what a young gentleman would and would not do. I don’t even have a young gentleman in my house. It is a lot of stuff you probably know, but it’s always nice to be reminded. I know that I have deflected a few compliments in my day instead of just saying “Thank You.” Thank you for taking the time to read this review ;)

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is writen for todays teens.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every young guy should read it. It's full with 'common sense' tips. Written in a very simple, fun and easy to follow language.

[JP · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I'd had this as a kid. I like that it encourages young men to act like young men, not little boys. It also provides a modern perspective on classic manners.

[Alex Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Timeless habits of etiquette.

[Edwin Notw · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s good. But when they said young gentleman they meant young gentleman. Not twenty year olds lol. Although some could use it too. This is sixth grade stuff. Suitable for 11 or 12 year olds.

[Simona · Rating 5 out of 5]

50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know by John Bridges is a guide to manners, etiquette, and respectful behavior for young men. Covering a wide range of topics from polite conversation and social etiquette to showing respect in everyday interactions, the book provides clear and practical advice on how to be a considerate, confident, and well-mannered individual. Each lesson emphasizes the importance of small, thoughtful actions that make a lasting impression and uphold the qualities of a true gentleman.

50 Things Every Young Gentleman Should Know is beautifully written and deserves a spot on every young man’s nightstand, to be read over and over until these principles feel natural. It’s a reminder of how important simple acts of respect and good manners are, even when they’re sometimes lost in daily life. A gentleman’s behavior should reflect kindness and education, and this book reinforces that we shouldn’t settle for less. It’s a valuable guide to learning and practicing the essentials of being well-mannered and thoughtful.

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took pictures of some of the quick bold snippets at the end of each chapter. I sent my son one picture every day until I had sent them all. I told him I was trying to jam as much information into him as possible before he leaves for college in a few months. It led to me texting other “mommyisms” to him. Like - “Don’t do that dumb ass Tide pod challenge”. To which he responded with a gif of a kid laughing hysterically.

Unless it is about the latest Marvel movie you aren’t going to have a deep conversation with my Baby Bear. But he will help you if you’re carrying something heavy...take his earbuds out when you’re talking to him...turn down his music if children are around and the lyrics are inappropriate.

I knew he wouldn’t read this book because it’s not anime. So I had to sneak the wisdom in. Kind of like I’ve been sneaking cauliflower in his mashed potatoes since he declared war on them in kindergarten.

[Michael Millett · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was given to me while I was in high school and at the time I only read the first couple of chapters. I recently found it and decided to give it a read and I quickly realized that this book is one of those that I have donated to a library or Goodwill, as it is not very interesting or practical. The authors do offer some relevant advice but it is definitely geared more toward younger children who perhaps haven't been taught basic manners and etiquette, much of which I feel are self-explanatory. The two main issues I had were the aforementioned reason as well as the assortment of random tips not relevant which I felt really didn't follow a logical train of thought and progression. This book is great for eighth-graders but if you're looking for something to learn actual etiquette and manners, pass on this one and look for a better resource.

[May · Rating 4 out of 5]

Done in one sitting lmao
Even though this book is written for young gentlemen, I personally think it's suitable for young ladies too. The content is light and easy to understand. The topics are related to daily life.
Four notes down below are my reason to say this book is for ladies and gentlemen:
- Wait for a lady to extend her hand to you before you offer to shake her hand
- If you're about to introduce your friend and your parent, you should introduce the younger to the older.
- If you focus on just one aspect of a person’s life, you are probably missing out on a lot
- Treat every phone call you answer for the other members of your family like it was a call that could change somebody’s life.

[Uncle Drewskii · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little dated but can’t go wrong

Anyone raising young men should get this book or go over this book with them early!! It creates dialogue and conversation and topics and areas that don’t get addressed enough with young men. That’s why so many young men turn into grown men and don’t know some of these foundational things. The more knowledge the better but it creates the conversation while hitting on the do’s and dont’s pertaining to those circumstances.

With these 50 things maybe 30 or so are intriguing things that can be implemented and practice by young men with their parents working to see progress.

We need to continue to develop young men and help them grow to be confident and competent that they can thrive on their own while educating others.

[Cordell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book probably five years ago. Five years ago, I would’ve given it four stars. It’s an easy read and it makes a lot of sense. It may be a a little bit of a formula driven book. But I think all of the things are very good things.

But the reason I’m getting a five stars is because I went to it again recently, and every single thing in here is important and we’ve gotten to a place in our culture where people debate whether or not honesty or virtue or are being a man or a woman or integrity matter at all. And they all clearly matter and I wish every one of these 50 things would be taught in school.

I believe all the things and principles that talks about are good and important and it is well written

[Spats and Hats · Rating 5 out of 5]

I greatly appreciate the principles and sentiments of this book and lament the fact that these are not widely popular.

Traditional readers should be warned that there is extensive usage of words such as "cool" and "guy" as well as incorrect grammar (ending sentences with prepositions and the like). Personally, I consider these informal grammatical choices justified, inasmuch as this book is intended for younger boys enduring conformist peer pressure rather than people who have already espoused better practices.

[Rish Fernando · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though I must say the advice is quite "génial", it gets quite boring and repetitive, if you are already a well-mannered person. I would recommend this book for those in their pre-teen years and not to actual teenagers unless you just need something to bore yourself with. The book is true and does talk about the characteristics of a gentleman, but it lacks the coherence that makes you want to read it to the end.

[Chad G · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was clearly geared towards young adolescents coming of age. While I learned nothing from it, I found it ironic how even though it was geared towards adolescents, how many of these rules the typical American adult is in violation of. I would recommend it as a read for young teens, or as a gift to your uncivilized, low-brow family members/associates.

[Coco Harris · Rating 2 out of 5]

My sister in law bought this for my son a while back and he insisted it be added to our lottery for bedtime books. It was a dry and boring read, in my opinion. It also had a lot of outdated recommendations and felt like my grandpa wrote a book about manners haha! The kids seemed to enjoy it okay, but I also think they were excited to finally be done & draw a new book for bedtime.

[Johnny Tunstall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this at the Flower Memorial book sale for 50 cents. This was meant for like an 8-year-old. but still I read it. Should be required reading for a young man. Simple things to be a gentleman like wash your face, say thank you, make eye contact. This is my mistake buying it because of my age, but I am always a work in progress and trying to better myself.

[Ronald Cabrera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review

Good book for the basics of how to be a gentleman. Every guy should know these things, but unfortunately there are circumstances that prevent them from learning it. Easy read.

[Adam Bastian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple tips for adolescent boys in the United States

This book provides simple tips and tricks on how and why to be a gentleman. 50 Things was made for young boys who want to learn how to transition from a boy to young man.