10 Days to a Less Distracted Child

by Jeffrey Bernstein

From the author of 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child , a groundbreaking 10-step plan to improve children's ability to focus and learn, as well as correct inattentive and out-of-control behaviors, including kids with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

Does it seem like your child never listens, while you feel like a broken record? Does she frequently forget about homework assignments and tests? Does he have trouble concentrating on basic tasks, yet can pay attention to a video game for hours?

Your child isn't lazy or unmotivated. He may have a chronic attention problem, and the good news is that you can help your child overcome it. In 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child, leading family psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein presents his revolutionary program for every frustrated parent. Dr. Bernstein's 10-day approach is a fresh, highly effective, and completely original take on handling inattentive children, including those with ADHD and other conditions.

In just minutes a day, discover the secrets of how

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Adhd

337 pages, Paperback

First published July 17, 2007

About the author

Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, is a psychologist with over thirty years' experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy.

Reviews

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this one with my 10 year old (Aspergers/ADHD) in mind. I had intended to mostly skim through the main points, since I just read the "Defiant Child" book by the same author, but I found myself reading every word, often through tears. I have been doing many things with my parenting style that just make things harder for her. Throughout the book the author advocates a "calm, firm, non-controlling" approach to helping your child overcome her distractibility. I'm fine with calm and firm, but "non-controlling" needs some work. This is a good, helpful book with lots of helpful information.

Another note: this isn't really intented to "fix" your child in 10 days. The author intends the reader to review and apply one "step" or "theme" (there are 10 of them) each day. You may see some immediate improvement, but lasting changes in your child's behavior will of course take much longer than 10 days. I'm not a fan of "gimmick" books like the title suggests, but I do like the author's style.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book somewhat helpful, though not as much as I had hoped. The 10 days mentioned in the title is more like how long it might take to tead the book. There's no way you could implement all his strategies and see results in 10 days. There were also some areas of the book that seemed vague and generalized. I had a hard time internalizing and identifying what I am supposed to do with these concepts. On the other hand, there were also several area that I easily internalized and felt excited about trying. I need to go through the book and make note of those areas and get to work. I would recommend this book, but don't go into it thinking you're really going to get spectacular results in 10 days.

[Alysia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goddess! But this book was hard to get through. There was lots of great advise, but I found it dry and hard to read.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was SO helpful. I wish I would have read it long ago!! Totally recommend to any parent these days

[Lauren Hidden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book after feeling frustrated with all the things that aren't working with my 10 year old with ADHD (primarily inattentive)/GAD/dysgraphia. Up to this point, the 5 ADHD medications we've tried haven't worked out due to a variety of emotional and physical side effects. So I figured this was worth a try. As other reviewers have noted, this isn't ground breaking and it's not a blueprint for an easy fix. It doesn't give you a step by step plan to "fix" your child, because realistically, you won't be able to. It does give you some reminders (you are not the only one who has this challenge; your kid isn't just being lazy: aim for progress, not perfection: keep an open line of communication with teachers; consider medications; use positive reinforcement rather than punishment, etc.). Another thing to note is that this book does not only address distraction due to ADHD, but the other related conditions that can cause distractability: anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, autism/Aspberger's Disorder,and other psychological and medical issues. And if your kid has more than one of these challenges, it may be hard to determine which is causing the distractability (or maybe all are). It helped me understand just how tough it is for him to "stay focused" on what he is supposed to be doing.

I'll definitely be incorporating some of the ideas in this book, especially the letting go of the anger when my child doesn't do what I've asked him to five times in a row, as well as breaking tasks down into smaller segments, giving reminders, rewarding improvements, being flexible (like letting him try listening to music while doing spelling homework because maybe the background noise will help him focus) and understanding that there is no quick fix, we are all in this for the long haul, so we might as well all relax a little bit!

The tone of this book is great. It's friendly, chock full of (anonymous) anecdotes of patients he's treated over the years, and it's very logically laid out. I did find myself skipping some sections that weren't relevant to me ("overcoming perils with peers", and some of "heading off homework wars"), but I do this with most non fiction books anyway. If you are dealing with a distracted child, this might be a good book to add to your collection.

[Brigid · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, so far, has some great helpful tips for parents of distracted children. It's helping me understand that I need to put myself in my son's shoes, not engage in a grumpy match with him.I especially like the "Six Obstacles for Understanding your Distracted Child". Even though I'm a type A, Virgo struggling to help my son, even I was overwhelmed by the number of lists Bernstein presents: 22 ways to understand your child, 28 anti-overreaction tools, 36 teaching strategies, 24 homework tips, and on.
The chapter on overcoming distractibility at school helped me realize that I need to help my son's teacher work with the ADHD diagnosis.

I found Chapters 2-5 the most helpful and I've taken lots of notes.

Besides the many lists, the other constructive criticism I'd add is that Bernstein falls into the same trap as other writers of these types of self-help books: overgeneralizing. When I see things I really like I know they probably won't work for my son, such as "Toe the line on Outlines" and "Use Checklists" and "Keep Organized Notebooks". Luckily I know now that I can't make my son do it like I would--he's his own person and we need to figure out how he can get the work done without melting down.

[Kathy Bowman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very helpful book. It wasn't ground-breaking, but it was clearly written with examples and suggestions. After his first two chapters I remember thinking, "Where are the practical examples?" but it did get down to the basics with some helpful advice. Although it did discuss drugs and school treatment plans for those with ADHD, I found it useful for kids without that diagnosis. Probably my biggest take away from this book was realizing I had to stop getting mad at my son for being distracted, because it wasn't helping!

[Laurie Monahan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Awesome book, has tips for teachers, describes resources the school can use to help. The parenting tips were great: catch them doing something right,talk about them often,and they will try even harder. I've never been a critical parent, but when I make an effort to frequently talk about the things Kaden does right at school, he tries even harder and has really improved his performance over the last 3 weeks.

[Michelle Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think there are a lot of good tips in here for parents who are clueless with what to do. However, I have been using love and logic all along, as well as parenting with compassion. So many of the tips just werent as helpful in my case as they could be. I wanted a bit more involved with organization, structure and how to talk to teachers in the book than it had. I am having my hubby read it as well, in the hopes that he gains more insight from the book than I did.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like all self help books, this one just makes you feel better because you read about people who deal with the same thing you do. I was hoping though for a little more direction, or newer more concrete ideas. The book was valuable in that it helped remind me that I need to be a little more patient and loving and try to see things from my child's eyes.

[Connie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book doesn't give enough concrete techniques because truly, I don't think most people know what to do with a distracted child, even the experts, except for the cessation of sugaring their children and putting them in front of a box with moving pictures.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for parents to better understand children with ADHD. Although I think he gives too long of lists of suggestions. Instead of 10 things to help with homework it's 25 things. I need my own copy to mark up and reference often.

[Edy Gies · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the ideas are practical, but I can't say it was super helpful. To be honest I bought it to help me with my son, but soon realized that I am the one with the distraction problem. Halfway through reading it I lost it then forgot I was reading it until I saw it on my Good Reads page...

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned that I'm too distracted to read all the way through this book.

[Patty Lamaestra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this over again from time to time, it has been very helpful.

[Brianna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes it's nice other parents have distracted children too, this book however did not really give any ideas about how to undistract said children besides feeling sympathetic to them.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very useful material.