The Heartbreak Diet: A Story of Family, Fidelity, and Starting Over

by Thorina Rose

Thorina Rose's funny, beautifully illustrated memoir charts the unexpected dissolution of her marriage and the struggles—and adventures of starting over. After marrying young, living in New York, and settling in San Francisco, Rose and her husband start a family. When he begins an affair with his "running partner," Rose must find a way to rebuild her life with her two young sons, navigating her own inner doubts, the chorus of advice from well-meaning friends, and coping mechanisms close at hand: retail therapy and pet adoption (not so useful); leaning on friends and travels with gay men (very useful). With humor and insight, The Heartbreak Diet is a moving and entertaining meditation on fidelity, family, and finding one's way.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Comics, Nonfiction, Memoir, Graphic Novels Comics, Adult

179 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 2, 2008

Reviews

[melhara]

1.5/5

The Heartbreak Diet is an autobiographical memoir about Thorina Rose's experience with finding out that her husband was cheating on her and his intentions to leave her and their two sons, as well as dealing with the heartbreak, betrayal, insecurity, the messy aftermath, and the various coping mechanisms that she's tried using to help her through this tumultuous time.

While I do appreciate the perspective that Rose has provided with respect to the difficulties she had to endure (her ex-husband sounds like the absolute worst), I wasn't a fan of the illustration style and the way that she portrayed herself or the other people in her life. There was just too much self-pity (which made it difficult to like or relate with the author) and painting the ex-husband as being the most terrible ex-husband alive (which might be true, but made me question how they ever got together, and how she never noticed that their relationship wasn't working out). Although the author does mention a few happy memories, tried to inject some humor, and has also thrown in a bunch of inspirational quotes, I just didn't feel like there was a good balance between the negativity and positivity nor was there any insightful reflection on her marriage and relationship. I also wish there was more information on her relationship with her ex-husband before and after the divorce, but that was kind of glossed over (they're probably still in bad terms, based on how terribly she's portrayed him in this book).

I also feel the need to point out that the ebook version I got from Libby was 530 pages long even though the book was supposed to be 179 pages. There were 2-3 blank pages between every page which was annoying to flip through, even in an ebook format.

_________________________
If you like the following vibe or illustration style of the following books, then you might enjoy The Heartbreak Diet, or vice versa:

[Devyn Miller]

3.6 ⭐️ It was interesting getting a perspective from a real person (as opposed to a fiction story). Similar to Strangers by Belle Burden but in comic/graphic novel form. I don’t feel that it was as captivating as a regular book, but I am probably biased since I appreciate feeling fully immersed by prose. Infidelity sucks :/

[Rod Brown]

Needed a book to read while waiting for the veterinarian to give my dog his annual check-up, and this one had been tagged by me as a possible read at some point in the past and was available on Libby, so here we go.

The art is eye-catching, but Thorina Rose's account of how she handles her husband's infidelity was too alien to me. I just could not understand any of the actions she took at any point in the book or where her mind went. I cannot imagine my wife doing anything remotely similar were I to do what Rose's husband did. Usually, I value new perspectives, but everything here just left me shaking my head in disbelief or incomprehension.

Not for me.

[Maya]

this was fun and easy to read. . . this woman's husband was an asshole! i'm glad she sees the light in the end, though. too bad he had to turn it on for her.

[Steve]

The art in this book is very good, and you can tell that her drawing style is what got her a book deal. It certainly wasn't that she had any fresh insights on divorce or that she had a firm grasp of storytelling. This is another example of a sad trend in graphic memoirs lately, in which book publishers have been jumping on the bandwagon to travel down a path laid by the popularity of Alison Bechdel and Marjane Satrapi and creating a glut on the market. If this were a conventional memoir, it would never have been published; it is much too slight. But it seems to be ok in book publishers' eyes to allow such stories with little to say to be published as graphic novels, because in the end it's just a comic book and it doesn't have to meet the same standards as "real" literature, right?

[Emily Jane]

This reminds me of another break-up graphic novel that I read recently- both lack depth or anything to help me, the reader, feel those deep feelings or understand what made the relationship work in the first place. The art is lovely and I loved the nods to all the conversations with outside friends but it just felt disjointed in the end.

[Hannah Garden]

Aw. This was a charmer. I'd like t0 meet this girl and give her s0me wicked high-fives.

[Santi]

que hueva tener un marido

por eso no me caso

[Alea]

The Heartbreak Diet is the memoir of a woman who's husband begins an affair that eventually separates them. They also have two children together. It is told in the format of a graphic novel.

You'd think due to the subject matter this would be depressing. In fact, what sold me on reading this was the format. I love graphic novels but usually try to avoid this sort of subject matter, it just makes me sad. I'm very glad I decided to read it. Rose has a great sense of humor about her life. She goes back and tells the story of how she and her husband met and formed a family. She also takes us through her healing process and the fun times with her children. I loved this book. Throughout the book are "Words of Wise Women" with great illustrations of famous women.

The graphic novel format is relatively quick to get through but I love how she broke her story up into different sections, like by day of the week or coping mechanism. Her illustrations are beautiful as well. There is a great amount of detail in them. I have a very large respect for cartoonists. It looks like she draws with an ink brush of some sort. If you mess up you have to start over! That is very tedious!

I think this book would be great for anyone that is the least bit curious about graphic novels. There are no superheros, zombies, or talking animals. It's a story we can all identify with and would be a great introduction into the genre.

I will definitely be reading this over and over again. Rose mixes real life situations with a great humor for life.

[Ika Willis]

Oh I should stop hate-reading memoirs, it is not a hobby that adds anything good to the world, but this one was just endless scenes of the protagonist being hurt and vulnerable and weeping and SO UNFAIRLY TREATED and the ex-husband grunting and watching TV and saying incredibly insensitive things and like... okay, you're a perfect human and your husband is a cartoon villain, so... why are you upset that he is going away? What is the point of this story?

Also a completely incomprehensible moment when she goes on a girls' night but says the trouble with girls' nights is that one day you will all be older. I mean... that will happen whether or not you go on a girls' night? IF YOU ARE LUCKY? Because the alternative is that you die young!

(Hilariously the picture of them all being "older" in this tragic way has them talking about hip replacements and hearing loss while still sitting on bar stools)

[Coffeeboss]

This graphic novel is a very frank account of one woman dealing with her husband's infidelity. She goes through a range of emotions from suspicion to the desperation of meeting her husband's mistress (thinking they can maybe work out an "arrangement" to keep the family together), to reluctant acceptance that her husband isn't coming back. This was an honest and well-drawn book, with nice "words of wisdom" pages from well-known women from history. I didn't particularly feel like the target audience for the story, but I think it could find a wide readership that will appreciate and relate to the story.

[Dina Depalma]

I just had to review this. I just had to do exactly as the author did. Allow me to present you with nothing original, revolutionary or even interesting. The story is basically anyones sad divorce story, relatable to many. The journey is predictable as life typically is. The characters are about as bland as any stranger you never met, but also aren't terribly interested in. The books creation I imagine was therapeutic for the author. This does not really qualify it suitable for publication in my opinion. What would be a fair, honest, and accurate review of the art? consistent throughout. Bland, boring, a story that didn't need to be told. Proceed with caution.

[Mira]

I loved this book! Don't let the title fool you - there's only 1 page where the author actually talks about body size in relation to her breakup. I'm not planning on breaking up with anyone anytime soon, but nonetheless it's nice to know that this book is out there as a sweet salve when you need it most. Think: [[(Ellen Forney + San Francisco + hetero-heartbreak)/considering polygamy] x finding one's self] - admitting that it's an on-going process = awesome! Also, the illustrations are beautiful.

[Andrea LeClair]

I loved this story so much, and read half of it standing in my kitchen because I opened it up just to see what the art was like and I couldn't put it down. I love that the story does not chronologically follow the relationship, but instead is governed by the stages and states of the author's feelings about her life. I was momentarily frustrated by the end, but mostly because I wanted to know how the story ended, and - it's the story of someone's life.

Utterly captivating. I'll likely read it a few more times before I return it to the library!

[Brian]

A woman writes a memoir about her cheating husband. The book is written in a graphic novel format and contains some nicely done artwork. The story left a lot to be desired though. Our narrator is a simpering, whiny sort of person (and no offense to how she is in person) who begs for her husband to stay, despite the fact that he's a grade A jerk and continues to see his mistress. There were some odd choices such as the random quotes from various big personalities and celebrities intermixed. It was somewhat entertaining, but not the best choice for a subject.

[Angela Wright]

A book about life, about changes and making the best of what comes our way even when we wish it wouldn't. The Heartbreak Diet is all about moving on. I really wanted to enjoy it, it is a graphic novel autobiography....doesn't that sound great!? I guess I was hoping for more, I think it ended before I felt like she got her pride back again, or before her husband got what he deserved, but I need to not give away any more than that. It is very hard to know what to say about someone's life, you can't criticize content.

[Kyla]

I don't have the heart to give this book the three stars it maybe kinda more likely deserves, because it has so much of the author's heart on the page. All the stages you go through after a serious break-up or divorce are here: the why didn't I see it coming, the horrible jerk stage, the we'll work it out stage, the "please stay" stage. I hope I don't know anyone who will go through this but if I do, this will likely come their way via the mail.

[Meg]

Definitely recommended. It's frustrating to watch a relationship disintegrate and the excuses people make for themselves. However, it's a very honest book, not pretentious or breezy. I enjoyed the art and the women's wisdom interspersed throughout (not hokey!). I look forward to reading her other works.

[Anastasia]

This was a great graphic novel-- not as moving as Persepolis, but the subject matter wasn't anywhere near as tragic so it's a tough comparison. Nonetheless, I felt for the author and enjoyed her portrayal of what happened to her. Her drawings were interesting, often beautiful, and her sense of humor and self-deprecation was a nice light touch to balance the sadness of being left by her husband.

[Courtney Payne]

This book changed my opinion (based on nothing) of the new breed of graphic novels written for the novel reader. I loved it. This one is geared toward the 30-something woman.
Sad, real, funny, full of hope. Now I am finally reading Persepolis (and loving it).

[Beth]

I was so mad at the ex husband in this story but I was especially mad at the woman he was cheating on the protagonist with. The audacity of her!

[Kathy Ellen Davis]

Great adult graphic novel.
More here:http://kraftyellenwrites.com/2012/12/...

[Luna]

Favorite quotes:
"In all honesty, I must be unbearable to live with. I'm tracking his every twitch like a hyena stalking a wildebeest. But the more I try to hold on, the more elusive he becomes."

"A horticulturist friend once mentioned that you cannot grow two cacti in one pot. One will thrive and the other will wither. Maybe that's what happened to us?"

"There is actually such a thing as 'broken heart syndrome.' The medical term is stress cardiomyopathy. It primarily affects older women and is brought about by shock. A death of a loved one or the abandonment of a spouse can trigger the adrenal system to react suddenly and sometimes fatally. Yes, the Victorian novelists were right... a person can die from a broken heart."

"For months I've been fighting an invisible current! Working so hard to stay afloat, treading water frantically to maintain my position, fighting panic that the riptide would drag me out to sea. At times I thought it would suck me under! But I am so exhausted now. I can't resist it any longer. At this point I have to go where the current is taking me! Because I have to have faith that when I land on a new shore I will be in a better place."

"But ultimately retail therapy leaves me feeling empty, guilt-ridden, and broke... What does life mean anyway? We're no more significant than bits of plankton floating in the vastness of the sea."

"It's romantic, but the risk of marrying young is you've met someone in the larval stage. Will he morph into...
A splendid monarch?
Or a lowly dung crawler?"

[Romy]

This was a great book, and it just reminds me, of so many other marriages, especially ones where the woman give up so much of their free time and joy to do all the household work for the man.

It’s very well done, and she doesn’t offer herself as an easy hero. She does a lot of things that make you wonder, why is she losing her dignity, but I can see how it’s very hard, especially after you have children with people

The husband is classic in that he has all the time in the world for all his hobbies and career, while she takes up more and more of the housework and child care, he even has time to have an affair while she does the laundry, cooks, and cleans, and cares for him while working and taking care of the kids

This isn’t really a spoiler, but it just shows how much women sacrifice when they have children and how unpredictable it can be once you get married, whether the man will treat you well. I would advise that any young woman should read this book. It’s very sobering and makes people think twice about having kids with people because things can be so perfect in the beginning

[Elizabeth]

I really liked this book despite the pretty depressing premise and unusual format for me. Why did this work for me? I don’t know other than:
1. It was short and I’m usually more apt to try something experimental when it’s short.
2. I was shocked at the depth of emotion and completeness conveyed by cartoon/line drawings and limited words. Would definitely read her again.
Additionally- female not trusting herself even though her observations are dead on. No on wants their significant other to be a jerk or to parent separately with small children. I found myself reading way past my bedtime. Read digital copy - but would have preferred in paper.

[Genny20]

A very emotional, raw, real experience right on the page. What a reminder that men are awful, marriage is a fraud, and to focus on yourself first because trying to make others happy and then make excuses for why you and they are not happy is a waste of time for all parties. Overall, great book, put me off marriage even more than I already was, a good reminder. Good on the author got getting on with her life :D

[Ashley Lynne]

Just eh. Nothing special or memorable or unique. But there was a lot of raw emotion and I respected that so much.

[Belle]

3.5 rounded up. Pretty depressing story in some ways but I liked the way it was told.

[Pug]

Why did she put up with all his crap???

[Dawn]

Not bad, but for some reason I wanted more.