This did NOTHING for me except for all the exruciating PAIN just from reading it. The best parts of this novelette are its cover (the 1 star comes for it) and the fact it's mercifully short. Otherwise, it's an assault at my nerves, (which aren't lately in the fine shape that they used to be in once). This is probably the first time ever for me not to have enjoyed even a happy end!
The plot had precious little to do with Paris. The city was mostly a backstage prop against which this unimaginably silly whining was happening. This whatever could have been happening in Australia, that is how much the city was reflected in the story.
The modern part was lame. If ever there was much ado about nothing, this is it. I'm not sure what I expected from this one. Certainly not science or a great plotline. Both of which are conveniently missing. Along with brains. And common sense. And intimacy. A residue of feelings, some emotional connection would have been welcome, anyway.
Instead, what we get here is a gal, who has some doubts on her wedding elopement long since done and who feels herself shadowing doubts, which seem to be shared by everyone in her surroundings. She's like *oh, I can't wrap my head round marriage*. Why exactly is this an issue in a love story? If there are doubts, it is NOT a love story. It's a thriller. And this one does not thrill at all. If one experiences doubts, why the freak do they even bother to participate in this doubtful affair of marriage? True love is unconventional. It's rara avis. A lot rarer than elopements.
The 20xx wife is selfish to the extreme. She literally comes across as surprised she's not alone on a honeymoon trip. Personally, I felt surprised at that as well: some poor bastard who didn't know better dared to get married with her. Miraculous!
And don't get me started on the poor hubby's business meetings. I mean, how exactly does one's bad time management become an issue for a honeymoon? If the bride is jobless (or maybe does some stuff not imposing on her time at all) why can't she accomodate the grooms' time issues? Here career is like this:
Q:
‘I … I’m sort of between jobs at the moment. I finished my degree and did a bit of office work, a bit of waitressing. The usual middle-class-girl stuff. I suppose I haven’t quite worked out what to do either.’ (c) So... this is our protagonist. The one unhappy about her hubby's encroaching career. What does she thinks pays for Paris honeymoons? Would she have preferred a loan?
The 19xx part considered a mirroring problem. Equally lamey. The only slight improvement on this disaster was the painting and the way it brought together different eras (the 2nd star is precisely for this). But by the time the story went to the painting, I already hated it so much that I really could not make myself to bother with its ending. I repeat, there are no problems depicted here, no issues, nothing at all. It's just some heroes being stupid, which is not something I look for in a love novelette. Or anywhere else. Ever.
Q:
And now Liv stands, shivering ‒ in the summer dress she had bought because it was the exact shade of her eyes and she’d thought he would notice ‒ as the skies grow grey and a fine spit starts. (c)
Q:
Some passions were too great not to act upon. (c)
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When I wake up with him I feel like I’m in the pages of some glossy magazine. Everything is just so grown-up. (c) Getting married just to grow up. Now, that's a true recipe for a disaster.
Q:
He has linen bed sheets, for God’s sake. Actual linen sheets.’ She blew another smoke ring. ‘Made of linen.’
‘Yeah. And who’s going to end up ironing those linen sheets?’
‘Not me. He has a cleaner. He says he doesn’t need me to do that stuff. He’s worked out I’m a rubbish housekeeper. In fact, he wants me to think about doing a postgrad.’
‘A postgrad?’
‘He says I’m too smart not to do something with my life.’
‘Shows how long he’s known you.’ ... (c) Illuminating. For freak's sake! I already feel sorry about the sorry bastard of a husband who gets a ... who? ... for a wife. What exactly is she doing with her time? Killing it slowly?
Q:
‘A wife.’ Jasmine grinned at her slyly. ‘Oh, my God. Wifey.’
‘Don’t. It still freaks me out a bit.’ (c) Why on earth does someone who clearly 'has not wrapped their head round being married' get married?
Q:
... the concierge gives her the look reserved for the kind of woman whose husband takes business meetings on their honeymoon... (c) Neurosis identified. Gawd. People generally don't give a fuck as to who goes to what meetings when. Full of herself, this character is.
Q:
‘I don’t want a bath.’ She does. She’s thought of nothing else the whole, long, miserable walk back. (c) Instead of getting into a steamy bath, with her hubby, she gets cranky? Ouch.
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She’d seen him on the telephone and just the simple fact that she’d known, immediately, it was a work call had skewed her fragile sense of goodwill. (c) Yeah, he should have been calling a bordello or a bunch of mistresses. That would have been much better. Right? *blinks innocently*
Q:
Why are you doing this? she yells at herself silently. Why are you sabotaging your own honeymoon? (c) Let me tell you a secret. It's not YOUR OWN. Honeymoon, like good sex, is an endeavour for at least two involved.
Q:
‘You’re on honeymoon?’ He says it without drama, but his expression is so bemused, his sudden pity so inadequately disguised, that she can’t bear it. She sees Wife, out of sorts, turning away defeatedly, a lifetime of other people’s faint embarrassment. Oh, you’re married? Your husband is where? (c) Ok, so much drama. For what? The guy went to a business meeting not to widen his sexual experiences in a bordello. Marriage is not about being connected at the hip. Grrr!
Q:
We can just … . We can just pretend like it didn’t happen. We’re both young.’
‘What are you talking about, Liv?’
She looks at him. ‘David – it all became clear as you walked towards me. You brought your plans with you.’(c) Oh, horror!!! He definitely should have brought a bowl of used buttplugs with him, instead of plans. (Yes, ref to 50 shades #3, the buttplug fail)
Q:
‘I don’t understand. This is crazy. I was only gone for a couple of hours.’
‘It’s not about the couple of hours. This was our honeymoon. It’s a template for how we’re going to be.’
‘How is a honeymoon ever a template for a marriage? Most people go and lie on a beach for two weeks, for Christ’s sake. You think that’s how the rest of their lives is going to run?’
‘Don’t twist my words! You know what I mean. (c) Gosh! Of course he doesn't. Even you don't know what YOU mean. Or even IF you mean it.
Q:
‘It’s just this building –’
‘Oh, this building. This building. This fucking building. There’s always going to be a building, isn’t there?’(c) The guy's an architect. It's a shame he's not a gynecologist. This passage would have read a lot better.
Q:
‘I don’t want to be a wife who feels ignored, even on her honeymoon.’
‘I wasn’t ignoring you, Liv –’
‘But you made me feel unimportant, (c) So, it's an ego thing. Can someone please save me and take this book away, right now??? I don't know why I'm torturing myself with it!