I had to take entrance exams to get into my secondary (high) school.
The novel Entrance Exams is a whole lot more fun than the entrance exams I had to take to get into my secondary school. And the entrance exams that our hero Alex has to take to enter Dragoon Academy are a lot more action packed.
The exams take the form of various fights with well-painted horrors from beyond, and Alex takes it all in his stride. No nervous toilet visits or lucky charms on the desk for Alex. Oh no.
Alex gets attacked by a skull-headed spear chucking demon thing whom he defeats with the power of the magic sword his errant father has just sent him, then he goes out on a date and gets some hot chocolate from the concession stand.
Alex is cool.
Maybe it’s my age, but as a teen in the 80s, this really reminded of those 80s movies I loved so much, Spielbergian in flavour, with normal high school joes taking on terrifying beasts in otherworldy places surrounded by their best buds. Cindy Lauper on MTV playing in the background, Huey Lewis on the soundtrack, Simple Minds over the end credits. It’s like “Monster Club”, or the magnificent, forgotten “My Science Project” (the whole thing is on Youtube – check it!). There’s a scene where everybody gets pizza, and it really reminded me of the opening of ET The Extra Terrestrial, one of the greatest visualisations of a skewed family coming together I’ve ever seen.
Alex, his cousin, his best mate and his girlfriend are all full of pluck and get cocky with all the stoopid grown-ups as they start to discover there is more to the world than suburbia, school and having a cool dirt bike. A lot of the characters seem to speak with the same voice, petulant and cheeky, but then most close friends end up acting very alike, especially at that time of their lives and in that environment. I should know. I’m a child of suburbia. So what? It’s a good voice.
There’s also a whiff of wish fulfilment, as the single child from a broken marriage discovers he is special and his dad does love him after all. There’s still room for some nice twists, like the heroine, Ashley, saving our hero with a kiss, a good inversion of the sleeping beauty trope, which I really appreciated.
Hoilman conveys visual ideas clearly and quickly with just enough detail to allow the reader to draw a vivid picture, no mean feat when your characters look and fight like something out of Mortal Kombat.
The characters from beyond are written well, with nice quirks – the legendary warrior Lonewulf won’t smoke on school grounds because there’s a sign up, but he’ll take on anyone or anything without a blink. (There’s also a character called Lady Schiffo, which I kept reading as Lalo Schiffrin, but that’s probably just me).
There are a few things I wish had been in the book to add a little depth beyond the progression of the group’s growing trust and friendships as they battle from fight to fight, test to test, discovering that their parents aren’t quite the sticks in the mud they originally thought them to be (which is a brilliant touch – see? Even when I start to criticise this tight little novel, I end up praising it – it’s that good).
Ashley, the girlfriend/best friend, is a brilliant heroine, full of moxy, as they say in 30s movies. Scott, his best mate and Markus, his cousin, are both sporty, strong jocks. But I missed a thoughtful introverted nerd character to add a little more colour to the tale. And a few more pupils at the school would’ve been nice, maybe the class bully.
The town also seemed a little quiet and I would’ve liked to see neighbours, especially the nosy neighbour who screams at kids to stay off the grass. At one point a giant magic rhino the size of a bus turns up outside the hero’s street and nobody bats an eyelid. Whereas my six year old starts piano practice and there’s a queue of neighbours outside my door. Although that may say more about my daughter’s piano playing (but I expect it says more about my neighbours.)
But these gripes are about what the book isn’t, and what the book is makes up for this. A young, good-hearted hero battles for good alongside his best friends while discovering the secrets of his father’s world, while sarcastic talking weapons berate him throughout his struggles. There are shape shifters, magic and a massive imagination at work here that’s a real pleasure to dip into.
I recommend this as a YA novel for anyone over 10 years old, especially anyone who dreams in computer games, wants more bang for his buck and likes to see the suburban kid win out, surrounded by supportive family and friends. It’s fun, a fast clear read in a world well drawn by a promising young writer who will go from strength to strength, just as, I hope, Alex will as he progresses through Dragoon Academy…