'Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America

by Naomi Schaefer Riley

In the last decade, 45% of all marriages in the U.S. were between people of different faiths. The rapidly growing number of mixed-faith families has become a source of hope, encouraging openness and tolerance among religious communities that historically have been insular and suspicious of other faiths. Yet as Naomi Schaefer Riley demonstrates in 'Til Faith Do Us Part, what is good for society as a whole often proves difficult for individual families: interfaith couples, Riley shows, are less happy than others and certain combinations of religions are more likely to lead to divorce. Drawing on in-depth interviews with married and once-married couples, clergy, counselors, sociologists, and others, Riley shows that many people enter into interfaith marriages without much consideration of the fundamental spiritual, doctrinal, and practical issues that divide them. Couples tend to marry in their twenties and thirties, a time when religion diminishes in importance, only to return to faith as they grow older and raise children, suffer the loss of a parent, or experience other major life challenges. Riley suggests that a devotion to diversity as well as to a romantic ideal blinds many interfaith couples to potential future problems. Even when they recognize deeply held differences, couples believe that love conquers all. As a result, they fail to ask the necessary questions about how they will reconcile their divergent worldviews-about raising children, celebrating holidays, interacting with extended families, and more. An obsession with tolerance at all costs, Riley argues, has made discussing the problems of interfaith marriage taboo. 'Til Faith Do Us Part is a fascinating exploration of the promise and peril of interfaith marriage today. It will be required reading not only for interfaith couples or anyone considering interfaith marriage, but for all those interested in learning more about this significant, yet understudied phenomenon and the impact it is having on America.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Sociology, Theology, Spirituality

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Naomi Schaefer Riley is a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute focusing on issues regarding child welfare as well as a senior fellow at the Independent Women’s Forum. She also writes about parenting, higher education, religion, philanthropy and culture.

She is a former columnist for the New York Post and a former Wall Street Journal editor and writer, as well as the author of seven books, including, “No Way to Treat a Child: How the Foster Care System, Family Courts, and Racial Activists Are Wrecking Young Lives,” out this fall.

Her book, Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America (Oxford, 2013), was named an editor’s pick by the New York Times Book Review.


Ms. Riley’s writings have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the LA Times, and the Washington Post, among other publications. She appears regularly on FoxNews and FoxBusiness and CNBC. She has also appeared on Q&A with Brian Lamb as well as the Today Show.

She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University in English and Government. She lives in the suburbs of New York with her husband, Jason, and their three children.

Reviews

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Til Faith Do Us Part is a fascinating look at the world of interfaith marriages. The focus is on Judaism but Schaefer Riley addresses a wide variety of interfaith weddings, as she attempts to analyze various correlations. Armed with surveys and interviews, she deconstructs the common trends of interfaith couples.

Among her interesting revelations, I learned that many interfaith couples simply don't talk about it before the wedding. Such questions about raising the kids, funerals, even wedding ceremonies aren't prominent during the dating, especially when both parties might not practice religion often. This creates a situation where couples are unprepared for the issues that inevitably arise. 

Beyond this, Schaefer Riley points out that interfaith couples often believe it is possible to have an agreement and be done with it. For example, agreeing to raise the kids with both traditions. While both couples may initially agree, daily life may lead to struggles. Interfaith life isn't one plan, it's millions of daily moments. A Protestant might agree to raising their child in Judaism until they hear them denying Jesus. Holidays, divorces, schools, finance- religion plays a role in life more than we think and therefore, one agreement isn't enough. 

Some stories here are truly heartwarming. Up until now, I haven't spent much time thinking about how life must be with parents from different religions but Schaefer Riley describes the cultural wealth and intersections and it just struck me as incredibly cool. If done right, kids get to truly enjoy both. 

Here are some more thoughts I had about this book! 

Assimilation
Assimilation is, as I see it, not inherently a good or a bad thing. During a chapter on Islam, Schaefer Riley seems to suggest it is a goal, as if we strive to get to a point where religion is diluted. As if an ideal Muslim is one who loses their roots and becomes blended into American-ness. 

We often ask in Public Policy if we're trying to encourage the society to be more open or to change the individual so that they'll fit into the society. For example, do we change school times so people can pray enough times or do we hope assimilated individuals do not pray so much? 

With this in mind, Schaefer Riley's attitude seems remarkably one sided- diversity is a two way streets. What is left of the American melting pot when everyone simply assimilates? The question we should be asking is "How can America make room for the Muslim lifestyle?" rather than "How can Muslims become more American?". Portraying it as though Muslim life and American life are contradictory seems wrong. 

Jewish interfaith marriages and the Holocaust
This book treats Judaism equally to Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and others. In this sense, it misses out on explaining some elements that do matter. 

Jews feel obligated to marry Jews in order to protect Judaism. Schaefer Riley rightfully cites the Holocaust and immigration to Israel as a factor for why Jews care about this. However, she misses a pretty obvious statistic: 31% of the world's population is Christian. Nearly a quarter of the world is Muslim. Buddhists make up 5% of the world. Jews, however, are 0.2% of the world. I'll repeat that: there are 155 Christians, 125 Muslims and 25 Buddhists for every Jew in the world. 

According to most predictions, if the Holocaust hadn't happened, there would be around 26-32 million Jews now (for reference, now there are about 14.7 million, still less than there were prior to the Holocaust). That's insane and yet, even if the Holocaust wouldn't have happened, Jews would remain less than 0.5% of the world population, an overwhelming minority still. Therefore, this isn't about the Holocaust. 

The Jewish concern of assimilating out of existence isn't shared by the larger religions. We may talk about Judaism as if it is comparable to Islam and Christianity but when we look at the numbers, Judaism simply can't be compared. This matters to the interfaith conversation and yet, Schaefer Riley doesn't discuss it.  

The Future of Judaism
The future of Judaism is not clear right now. The Jewish population of the world is roughly split between Israel and the US. Both populations are developing their Judaism differently. As Israel clutches the halacha definitions of Judaism, Americans seem willing to open Judaism to all. Israeli Judaism is ethnic and cultural, it's open and unafraid of assimilation and antisemitism. American Judaism remains religiously ingrained and it is still fragile, still united by antisemitism concerns.

The fear of assimilation creates a situation where American Judaism attempts to fit itself to the people, even at the cost of losing prior roots. In Israel, people can support LGBT+ rights, eat non-kosher food and still feel comfortably Jewish, without setting foot in a synagogue, because their Jewish identity is present merely in living in Israel. It is outside of Israel where no Jewish community and no Jewish behavior leads to a loss of Jewish identity. 

Personally, it feels like there is a middle ground and that through closer connections between the communities, it is possible to find it. However, this requires much work and often, it doesn't feel like either community cares enough to develop a real religious connection. Nonetheless, while talking about this, we need to realize that this Israeli-American split will shape Judaism. We can't talk about Judaism as a whole without recognizing that Israeli Judaism and American Judaism are developing differently. 

Moreover, I think an essential part of this process is reaffirming the idea that we are a people, not a religion. Within ourselves, I think this idea is clear to all but Reform Jews but it seems that outside, people do not always understand it. This leads me to my next point. 

Judaism is a religion?
In the last chapter, Schaefer Riley finally discusses her decision to frame Judaism as a religion, rather than an ethno-religion. She presents her opinion about Judaism's future in light of this: Judaism must make itself more accessible to potential converts. This is a natural conclusion of viewing Judaism as a religion. If Judaism is solely a religion, it definitely has some PR work to do. 

Nonetheless, I think the best way to describe Judaism is Am, which roughly translates to a people. This is how Jews have always identified and this is really what we are, when you strip away the Western definitions. With this in mind, the community aspect also matters. Judaism isn't just about accepting religious faith. It isn't even about that at all. Judaism is about being part of a tribe, part of a nation, a people. The religion can't be the only appeal, for most of us, the religious aspect is not the most major element of Judaism. 

With this in mind, I don't agree with much of Schaefer Riley's stance. I find it beautiful that Judaism doesn't ask others to change their religion. There is something so rude about proselytizing, it always feels to me as if by telling others to believe in what you believe, you're also informing them that what they believe now is wrong. When it comes to God, I don't really think anyone can be wrong.

Moreover, as Judaism is not fully a religion, adapting it into being more open would to be to change it drastically. It would be to leave behind the peoplehood in favor of a more traditional religious outlook.

However, there is a problem that I must also address. If Jews are the most intermarrying religion (which apparently they are) and do not feel comfortable proselytizing, it does lead to fears about assimilating out of existence. Schaefer Riley repeats this fear when she says that some Jews ask their spouses to convert for the Jewish longevity. This is why she claims it's important for Judaism to have an appeal that isn't ancestry, something that is relevant for now, without the history.
 
I don't assume I'm able to solve this question in a review but it seems that this is precisely where the Israeli-American divide plays a role. Judaism is effortless and relevant in Israel. As an Israeli, I know that if I end up in an interfaith couple, my Judaism is so woven into my nationality that it won't be a challenge at all. Judaism is Hebrew and Purim and family dinners and arguing which are all also Israeli.  If I was to marry a non-Israeli, they would have to get used to Shabbat dinners and the High Holidays, both as a religion but also as an aspect of Israeli culture and in this sense, the Jewishness is kept alive. 

This is not to assume that Judaism can only exist in Israel. Interfaith marriages, driving to the synagogue, adding prayers in English without any regard to Hebrew, etc, might be inevitable for those who practice in the diaspora. However, as Jews, we can't simply accept them- we must have critical conversations on the direction of Judaism and that is precisely what's missing in this book. Are interfaith marriages a good thing? Schaefer Riley strangely enough does not entirely weigh in.  

I could continue on and on because I have like a million thoughts about this topic, especially after learning more about diaspora Judaism. However, the uni awaits (can you all believe I wrote 1700 words here and yet, I'm procrastinating a 2000 word essay now?). 

To conclude, if you're looking for data on interfaith marriages, this is a thorough book. It is not without flaws but it is illuminating and well written. I think it serves as a good look into the world of such marriages, both on a macro and on a micro level.
 
What I'm Taking With Me
- I've dated non-Jews and honestly, I'm not sure what I'd do if it came to marriage, like I don't like the idea of making someone convert for me but I also wouldn't want to act against Judaism but then I also wouldn't want to stop myself from dating people just because they're not Jews, ahhhh. 

- This book made me really curious about interracial marriages in the US, like I can't believe they're so uncommon. Especially in light of marriages that are both interfaith and interracial. 

- On the slim chance that anyone read this far, I'm super curious to hear what others think about this topic.

-----------------------------
I can't decide what's worse:

1. The party that I was considering to vote for has lost my vote by adding a representative who has some disturbing FB statuses about the Holocaust. I loved what they were doing and I'm so disappointed, why is the Israeli left like this, why can't we be pro-Palestinian and not cruel towards others at the same time.

2. There's a party that just suggested that queer rights and progressive Judaism are tactics Palestinians use nowadays to get rid of Jews as they haven't been able to win militarily so they're going to "ruin us from the inside". I didn't have any expectations but still, this is hilariously sad.

Anyways, if Israel eventually falls apart, I'm gonna need to start thinking about interfaith marriages. Review to come!

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoughtful, fair-minded, and well-researched overview of interfaith marriage in contemporary America. Given how often author bias or a clear agenda shows up in books like these, I was really pleased by how evenhanded Naomi Schaefer Riley's approach was. Her introduction lays out her own investment in her subject -- being one half of an interfaith marriage -- and I wondered if there would be some massaging of the data or an otherwise overly positive view of the topic for this reason. But throughout the text Schaefer Riley does not shy away from some of the more troubling findings of her surveys (statistically significant differences in marital happiness, divorce rates, etc, in interfaith vs. same-faith couples), nor does she indulge in politicization or overstatement on either side of the issue (i.e. "no one should be in an interfaith marriage; it's just too hard" or "everyone should be in an interfaith marriage and differences should just be ignored"). In fact, there is a refreshing skepticism of the kind of multiculturalism that flattens religious distinctions throughout the book (she astutely compares it to the "colorblindness" era of race relations and points out the fallacy of not taking religions at their word when they describe themselves as exclusive). One of the more troubling findings that Schaefer Riley discovered was how few interfaith couples discuss potential religious or theological differences before engagement and marriage, and one repeated suggestion she makes is that couples need to be taking real differences in belief far more seriously and that family and clergy ought to be encouraging conversation much earlier. A great strength of this study is how seriously Schaefer Riley takes the idea of religious belief -- that deep faith can and should inform one's day to day living -- and how compassionate she is toward those who also feel this way and are having trouble reconciling their beliefs with their spouse's.

The book is quite data-heavy, as some other reviewers have mentioned. I quite enjoyed that aspect of it, as well as Schaefer Riley's interpretations and suggestions when it came to how to read the data. She rarely confuses causation with correlation (an issue that crops up repeatedly in sociology-lite literature) and often offers thoughtprovoking readings that reflect on culture at large. For example, she suggests that one reason the western United States has higher rates of interfaith marriages is that the West is still viewed as a "new place"/frontier and as such has attracted greater numbers of young people who've moved away from families or religious communities (which the book argues tend to offer voices of caution earlier in interfaith relationships). Given the amount of charts and footnotes, I would definitely suggest a paper copy over an e-version for ease of reading and flipping to citations.

The book has some weaknesses. The main religions represented are Judaism, Islam, and various types of Christianity, and at times that focus feels both too narrow (though Schaefer Riley does explain why the book doesn't offer much discussion of polytheistic faiths) and too broad. A reader who's of a particular faith background or looking for more information about a particular faith combination will probably crave greater specificity, since the book really offers more of an X-Ray overview than an MRI detailed examination. There are a couple baffling informational lapses when Schaefer Riley writes about Christianity, most notably when she calls Esther a non-Biblical book. And while the book takes care to differentiate between evangelical and mainline Protestantism (and between Protestant and Catholic) in its data, it never actually defines for its readers what makes a denomination evangelical vs. mainline (a distinction that is by no means obvious to non-Protestants or even to most Protestants, I would say). It's a curious omission for a text that means to cast a wide religious net.

Overall, this was an informative and instructive book that I would recommend to interfaith couples and clergy of any religion. I've been surprised by how often in the past few years the question of interfaith dating has come up in my own church, but Schaefer Riley's book has helped me see that the traditional answers are no longer "givens" for many congregants, and I'm glad to have such a clearheaded and well-researched resource to hand the next time the topic arises.

[Bethany Stewart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good statistics on mixed faith marriages. I learned a lot about Jewish and Mormon marriage beliefs.

[ltcomdata · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very good informational book about interfaith marriage. The point of the book is that there is a stistically significant (albeight slight) difference between married couples who share a religion and those who do not share a religion---this in every facet of married life.

Thus, same-faith couples are slightly happier with their lives than interfaith couples. Same-Faith couples are slightly less likely to divorce than interfaith couples. The children of same-faith couples are slightly more likely to be religious temselves in comparison to the children of interfaith couples. The children of interfaith couples are slightly more likely to end in an interfaith marriage in comparison to the children of same-faith couples. etc.

Usually, as the book makes clear, even when members of an engaged couple don't think of themselves as religious, and therefore do not think that the religious differences will matter, they end up struggling with religious differences down the line. The marriage is barely the first hurdle these couples must navigate. Later, when these couples finally have children, it becomes very likely that one or both of them will return to religion, usually with the idea of raising their children in the religious tradition they were themselves brought up. And then the difficulties really start piling up. It is the everyday practices, as opposed to the religious high holy days which cause the most disagreements.

The book also contains a lot of statistics. Some among them: if a spouse in an interfaith couple is an evangelical Christian, the couple is more likely to get divorced than if they are of any other faith; Jews are more likely than any other religion to be in an interfaith marriage; Mormons are the least likely to be in an interfaith marriage; Mormons marry the youngest; the younger someone marries, the more likely that they will marry someone who shares a faith with him or her; in an interfaith couple, the religion of the mother is almost twice as likely to be the chosen religion of any children in the marriage.

I found the point of view of the author tremendously positive. She herself is a Jewess in an interfaith marriage. More than that, she is a Jewess who cares about her faith. To her, Judaism presents an alive and Truth-claiming faith. Thus, she sees the declining importance Judaism to her co-religionists as a huge problem looming in their future. And she is very much troubled about how lightly (to their own detriment) young engaged couples take their differences in religion (and religious claims on Truth).

She is also bothered by the scarcity of targeted help that religious leaders have set up for interfaith marriages---with some minor exceptions. Therefore, she finishes the book advicing religious leaders of all stripes to convice their young charges to consider marrying a co-religionist (or at least to consider very carefully the problems that come with interfaith marriages). For these problems are not insignificant, despite what may appear to young people in love.

[B · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an intriguing and troubling read. The material seemed well researched and was presented clearly and thoughtfully. While there seemed to be less statistical data for Jews and Mormons, the three religious groups most represented throughout the book were Jews, Catholics and Mormons - I found it perhaps less than thorough in that respect. Most of the rest of this review is my reaction to what the results presented show, less to the book itself.

It was unfortunate to read about how little religion enters into the thoughts of dating or engaged couples, until they have to decide who will say what at the wedding. Then, to see it become a huge deal, and be forgotten again until the couple has to decide if they will baptize or circumcise their son is kind of mind blowing. The author astutely points out that as much as we value "diversity", marriage isn't necessarily the place for it, and religion isn't skin color. The things that seemed to come from "inter-faith" marriages that were cast in a positive light I found mixed. On the one hand, she points out that struggle over these things can make people realize that all religions aren't the same and don't make the same claims. But it seems that couples might recognize this and then make some poor attempt at fusion, or choose to weakly follow one faith. So this isn't too much of a positive. One of the other major so-called benefits is acceptance of the family and religion of the spouse by the other family. And while it's great to accept and respect people as people - the sort of tolerance that it's suggested is fostered is a many roads lead to God, non-truth discerning neo-tolerance. I found the success and how of Mormons encouraging, with success, marriage within the church, and how they are willing to wait for, while engaging, a non-Mormon spouse helpful in thinking about how Christians might foster the same patterns.

[Amy Qualls · Rating 3 out of 5]

tl;dr: it's hard.

Would've liked a larger sample size, but I'm unaware of anyone who has managed a larger one.

[Dan Gorman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Riley is in an interfaith marriage herself. She conducted a large-scale poll, along with follow-up interviews, about people in interfaith marriages. The book covers an impressive range of religious pairings — Druze/Catholic, Mormon/Muslim, Hindu/Sikh, and many permutations of Christian/Jewish. I’m not sure there is a central message to the book, aside from showing the prevalence of interfaith marriages in this country, but Riley conveys the importance of talking through religious differences with your spouse. Lovers can’t skim the surface on religion. It occupies too big a role in family and community life. Riley personally seems to prefer well-thought-out religious rituals for mixed families, instead of simplified rituals that she describes as hippy-ish. The book also makes a good point about cultural appropriation: Non-Native Americans shouldn’t use Native American wedding vows (without permission).

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Reading this in 2024, over a decade after it was published and 14 years after the author’s survey that informs most of the book, I am left wondering about the current state of interfaith marriage in America. In general, there seems to be little research into this choice beyond Schaefer Riley’s 2010 survey. I would like to see more research into this topic to help verify (and perhaps update in this new decade) some of the conclusions in this book. It would also be interesting to look at faith/no-faith relationships and homosexual interfaith relationships. This book focuses mainly on heterosexual interfaith relationships (where both spouses practice or at least nominally associate with a faith), with a heavy emphasis on Jewish interfaith relationships.

[Vesna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Outdated now, but helpful perspectives on a complex, deeply personal topic. I didn’t find the stats and perspectives to be positive nor very supportive. Sample size of the survey the book is based on is not significant enough for several religions.

[Judie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interfaith marriage is a part of life in America. It has affected the way various religions treat people who want to marry someone of a different faith, (e.g., Greek Orthodox and Roman Catholics have fewer obstacles in marrying each other, Catholics can marry non-Catholics in a church, the non-Catholic spouse doesn’t have to convert or promise to raise their children as Catholic.)
Naomi Schaefer Riley, who did marry someone of another faith, interviewed 200 members of the clergy, marriage counselors, and interfaith couples of many religious combinations and commissioned an Interfaith Marriage Survey, to learn more about the road interfaith couples travel including dating, wedding, families, and children. She learned that childhood experiences, both at home and at a religious institution, don’t play as large a role in determining whether a person will marry someone of another religion as many people assume. The divorce rate is also higher than for same-faith marriages.
One reason for the increase in interfaith marriage is that people are marrying later in life than previous generations. Once people leave their parents’ homes for school and careers, they are less involved in religion than they had been. They are exploring many avenues as they seek to find out what they believe and who they are. They have learned the importance of diversity, tolerance, and understanding. Their culture has taught them to look for their “soul mate” which puts the emphasis on them and not on the community. They do not seek the advice of clergy to direct their souls but believe they will find the “right one” eventually. Parents, many of whom are divorced, do not offer advice since they don’t feel qualified.
These are also the years that they are likely to be preparing to marry. Religions that encourage early marriage, such as the Mormons, have fewer interfaith marriages than other groups.
More often than not, the couple do not discuss religion before they start planning their wedding. They then have to find out where to have it, who will officiate that will not upset both sides of the family (some clergy will or cannot perform intermarriages), and what to serve (Alcohol? Meat? Shellfish?), what to say or have said by the clergy. During this time the clergy may ask about what religion they will follow and what they will do about their children’s religious upbringing. Often, they haven’t really considered those in any depth.
Once they do have children, those issues become real. What religion/s is/are observed at home? Who takes them to services? How do they deal with families with different faiths?
One important chapter is about how religious institutions treat them. Are they welcomed as an interfaith family? Is the spouse who is not a member of that religion encouraged to convert? What should religious institutions be doing?
She points out that religion is more than “Be a nice person.” There are values and structures in place to guide, support, and explain what the religion means. Too often the couple doesn’t really know what they are or the couple don’t discuss them with each other.
Two points I found interesting were that the December dilemma wasn’t as important as what happens the rest of the year and that people who fight to protect endangered species don’t consider passing on their religious heritage to be important.
‘TIL FAITH DO US PART is composed of case studies, statistics (including graphs), and commentary. It raised a lot of interesting ideas, many of which are too often ignored by both people who may intermarry and by the religious institutions established to help people live their lives.
I received an advanced, uncorrected proof of this book from LibraryThing.

[Morolake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and exploratory read on Interfaith marriage in America.

Alot of data to sieve through and some chapters ended without any solid conclusion (but that's really how life can be sometimes).

[Adrienna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Naomi Riley wrote a book to cover real life examples of integrating other religious ideas in marriages today--to be diversified and even having two wedding ceremonies to satisfy the two faiths. She cites from Torah on interfaith marriages which has already happened in biblical times: Moses with Zipporah; Esther and king of Persia; and well-known and told story of Ruth.

However, according to Deut. 7:3, it is believed that the "chosen" faith and people: Jews are not to intermingle or intermarry with other religious faiths otherwise will be published. They couldn't even have sexual relations with a non-Jew, because this could lead to their death.

Riley touched on a Christian lexicon: unequally yoked. There are other religious skepticism shared on mating with other people from different religious faiths. Overall, one has to make a careful consideration when choosing a covenant partner and who it is important to: parents, children, or religious group? The rebuttal is compared to one's personal belief to one's religion.

This book is written like a thesis, dissertation, or scholarly journal with informed stories from people who have experienced or practiced intermarriages.

*I received the book from the publisher for a book review (LibraryThing Early Reviewers).

This book was not what I was expecting since I was engaged by its title.

Adrienna Turner (author of ten books)
www.adriennaturner.webs.com
Dream4More Reviews: www.dream4more.org

[Danni · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book takes the work of the author in studying the many varied relationships of interfaith couples and presents it to the general public. She gives readers a very comprehensive look at many different aspects of the relationships: getting to know each other, wedding ceremonies, kids, ect. Personal stories and interviews are scattered throughout the book to mix up the extreme amount of data that is thrown at readers. All in all, the content is fairly solid. I was surprised by the material and it made me reevaluate my own relationship. It isn't a turn pager, but those interested in the subject should stay engaged.
However, this ebook has a massive amount of grammatical errors. I doubt that this has gotten through much of the editing process yet. Even worse, the tables were not formatted at all and made those sections (which I actually wanted to see!) completely un-readable. This made a dry ebook a great chore to read.
If you really want to know more about this topic, take a chance reading it, but buy a paper copy. If you have passing curiosity, go elsewhere.

[Meepspeeps · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author uses research and interview quotes to tell a sobering tale of how interfaith marriage affects the couples and the USA in general. I highly recommend it because she explains some of the assumptions couples make based on (1) their level of commitment to their beliefs, (2) what information children (or future children) will accept, and (3) the USA "insistence" on embracing diversity. She helps guide the reader through the differences between religious beliefs (and the accompanying rituals and holidays) and other aspects of diversity, demonstrating that it may be easier to overcome other differences in marriage than religious beliefs. Even though she avoids politics, it gave me a new perspective on why some peeps are so polarized in politics based on deeply held religious beliefs. Interfaith marriage is growing in the USA and I think peeps need to understand and appreciate it in the context of this book.

[Pixie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up for two reasons. The first was pure curiosity, as I've been on a pretty strong non-fiction kick lately. The second was personal interest in a topic that may or may not affect my own life in the future.

The subject matter in the book is well-covered. Riley addresses just about every aspect of inter-faith marriage that you could think of. On the other hand, the writing style is very repetitive and, in places, downright boring. I skipped parts of the book near the end because of this, and stuck to reading chapters that had personal interest for me.

Overall, it was a good academic read, but not as personable as I was looking for. And I would venture to argue that the points made in the book could have been made in half the number of pages.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well done. Seems to be novel material. Skewed a bit toward covering Judaism because the author is Jewish, but on the whole, a very insightful, data-driven, interesting look at interfaith marriage and what it means in families and society. Also, the book opens with a narrative from Judy O'Connor, wife of late Pittsburgh Mayor Bob O'Connor… just a random tidbit for my fellow Pittsburghers.

Maybe I should just add the caveat that I could not possibly ever see myself in an interfaith marriage; I don't even believe it is something the Bible permits Christians to do. Yet I can still appreciate a thoughtful look at the topic even though the author's perspective does not mirror my own.

[Hannah Emery · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book to evaluate its utility for undergrads in my Sociology of Families course, and will definitely be using some excerpts from it. Riley interviews both religious leaders and lay people from a range of different American religions; the book gives significant emphasis to Christianity and Judaism, but this isn't surprising given that these are the two religions most common in the United States and the most common source of inter-faith marriages. I found the book both accessible for undergrads and interesting for more advanced scholars. Although Riley isn't a sociologist, her research is fairly rigorous, particularly for introducing the subject to an undergraduate audience.

[Mimi Bear · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very fascinating and timely. In a global world, with fewer and fewer faith communities, we are all surrounded by people of different faiths raising families. I saw a glimpse into the struggles and paths that couples take to keep their marriages together, and raise kids in an increasingly difficult world. I wish such insights would make the world more tolerant, but I am certain only the tolerant will read such topics. Good, practical insights and details into all faiths. Enjoyed her personal journey as well.

[Chad · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overly focused on Christian-Jewish relationships, this is pretty dismal in light of marriage hopefuls who have differing religious backgrounds. I feel like she wrote this to prove her own point that interfaith marriages are challenging and more possibly doomed than interfaith ones. I, on the other hand, am it of this mind but understand that it can be challenging but I feel more hopeful for coupled going into this having strong backgrounds in their faith and in finding s "middle way" together.

[Liz De Coster · Rating 2 out of 5]

An interesting book, though I don't find Riley's arguments overall compelling. I think she undermined herself a bit by sounding fairly close-minded as to what constituted a 'successful' interfaith marriage and extensive discussion of post-marital conversions (due to personal crises or other life changes).

[Tori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved most of the concepts his book covered, but felt that there were many areas where it simply glossed over things, and could have gone more in-depth. The writing was also a little dry in places. I would likely recommend this book, with those caveats.

[Katie Ellis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this. All I learned from the part that I read was that my husband and I will eventually divorce because religion is more important than you think it is. No solutions for how to fix this, maybe I just didn't read far enough, but I got frustrated.

[A. P. D. G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed it immensely, and reminded me of a lesson I'd been taught of a child, don't marry outside your own faith.

[Jon Webber · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting combination of statistical textbook and scores of personal stories. Very positive of LDS marriage. (same faith & young) suggests Jews take note.

[Jonathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh. Interesting and useful conclusion but oh the flaws that precede it!

[Steve Gross · Rating 2 out of 5]

The usually reliable Naomi Shaefer Riley presents a farrago of anecdotes, statistics and personal history to reveal pretty much nothing new about intermarriage in America.

[Mindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just skipped around and read the parts of this book that interested me. What I read was fascinating!

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good look at interfaith marriage. Not all of the studies were as robust as I would have liked, but I admire the author's initiative and overall treatment of the subject