The Half-Empty Heart: A Supportive Guide to Breaking Free from Chronic Discontent

by Alan Downs

Low-grade depression is one of the most common diagnoses for people who visit a psychotherapist-and an undiagnosed problem in millions who don't get the help they need. Despite the frequent occurrence, few books are available on the disorder, whose symptoms include a lack of motivation, a low threshold for frustration, and a constant struggle for deeper satisfaction and more meaningful experiences. Psychologist Alan Downs has written a supportive, accessible, and groundbreaking book that will help individuals who suffer from this chronic-but revers-ible-problem, as well as for their loved ones, and psycho-ther-apists wanting to learn more about the condition. Using anecdotes, simple exercises and advice, and powerful insights, this book provides hope and help for the millions of Americans suffering from this all too common condition.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 9, 2003

About the author

Alan Downs, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and the CEO of Michael's House.

His fifteen years of treating clients throughout America's culture have already been reflected in his numerous books in both leadership and self-help. His two most recent books include The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World and The Half Empty Heart.

Reviews

[The Angry Lawn Gnome · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yet another book that gave me headache when I thought about it afterward. As a descriptive work of issues raised by those who suffer chronic discontent, I thought it worked very well. I was especially impressed with his willingness to confront his profession's unwillingness to deal with those who might be dysthymic, until of course it explodes into a major depression. THAT they'll treat.

However, his diagnostic criteria was a mess. As best I recall, biology receives exactly one mention, as some sort of proof to be taken on authority that all humans are social beings. And then biology trots off the stage not to be heard from again. In fact, at least two of the anecdotes had me thinking Asperger's, one maybe ADHD of some type. C'mon,

Finally, nothing is said anywhere at any time about why Ms. X can have an utterly horrific upbringing of the sort that comes straight from Dickens, yet go on to lead some sort of normal life, while Mr. Y grows up with every advantage yet falls to pieces and has a life resembling a train wreck. Huh?

I was impressed enough with this work that I stopped before his "program" began, since I may attempt it myself at some point. But there are some very serious flaws here, mostly by way of ommission, but occasionally of commission, both as noted above. Quite frankly, a candid admission that we don't really know why some people turn out as they do would have gone a long way to dispel my issues with this book. But no such admission was made, which was a shame. I do think there's something to what he says, but that quite a bit should be labelled proceed with caution at a minimum.

[Melanie Wilson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started out promising enough, though at time what Downs was describing sounded more like mild borderline personality disorder than what I was experiencing. Calling it "chronic discontent" sounds more "active" than other definitions of dysthymia, or a persistent low grade depression. Other times, what he was describing sounded exactly like what I've been experiencing. It was also odd that in the first part of the book, where he's describing the condition and its symptoms, he recognizes that many people with this condition grew up in dysfunctional homes where their emotions were treated as unimportant or even "wrong", and/or suffered heavy emotional losses during their formative years that made them start to close themselves off to protect themselves from further hurt. But then in the second part of the book, the actual journal exercises, there is no recognition of this history, and instead the intent of the exercises seems to be showing you that you are the cause of all of your problems. Maybe this approach works for others, but it just made me feel worse, and I stopped doing them. I skimmed ahead through the rest of the exercises, and it didn't seem like there were any suggestions about proactive things you could do to help your situation, and no discussion of any possible physical causes for the condition (exercise, nutrition, etc.).
It's kind of ironic because in the first part of the book the author talks about how those of us with dysthymia have suffered many disappointments, and that makes us less willing to try new things because we're sure we'll just end up disappointed again. The exact experience I had with this book...

[Debbie Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very enlightening and saw myself in the description of dysthymia and it's symptoms. I have often wondered why I feel discontent when I really should have no reason to. It was eye-opening for me to read about the 'games' that we play which play a role in our difficulty in being emotionally honest and having relationships that last and are fulfilling. It really made me take a step back and analyze my own reaction to situations. I felt better knowing that how I act and react isn't a character flaw, but now knowing this, feel kind of guilty that I react the way I do. I would love to read more on this topic. Like most people will probably do, I read through all the exercises without really doing them. Having done this, there are a few I actually think I would have benefitted from participating in.

[Russell Holbrook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although there are more than a few misplaced commas and periods or maybe there are sections where those two staples of proper grammar are absent altogether, this is still a great book. I remember telling a friend about it and exclaiming, "Who isn't chronically discontent?!" It seems like such a natural condition that I'm kind of relieved to learn that it's not. I'm actually fucked up after all! Just as I had suspected! Hahahahahahahahahaha! There are exercises at the back but I didn't do them because thinking about all that pain just made me tired. But I'm telling myself I will get back to them one day. This review is over.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clinical psychologist Downs used to suffer from chronic discontent, also known as dysthymia and low-grade depression, whose symptoms include lack of motivation, constant disappointment, and irritability. Noting that it is "more than just a bad attitude…it is a serious condition that prevents you from experiencing much fulfillment and happiness," he outlines a five-step plan that purports to "cure" it by building emotional honesty. The early life experiences of many affected individuals inadvertently cause a dysfunction in handling emotions, resulting in emotional withdrawal, he says. Although at times presumptuous (e.g., "What you really want are relationships that are emotionally open and honest"), the book skips along energetically and convincingly and effectively uses real-life examples. It will speak loudly to those who have tried in vain to be happy. Recommended.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I learned a lot about myself.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty interesting read. Ended up just skimming the end (that seems to be the trend I have with books like this).

[Tom Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author did a great job of describing dystymia, but the workbook part of the book did nothing for me.