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Let Love Have the Last Word: a Memoir
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May 29, 2024
A FRANK, INSIGHTFUL AND WIDE-RANGING MEMOIR—AND MORE…
Rapper, actor, and author Common wrote in the first chapter of this 2019 book, “I’ve been rapping for more than twenty-five years now. I would rap for free. I would rap if I lived on the streets… That I’ve … received ... money for rapping speaks to perseverance, I suppose, or market forces. Rapping is my release, my art, my way of expression. It’s a desire that comes from my spirit…” (Pg. 7-9)
He explains, “My name is Rashid, and I do not necessarily know more about love than you do… Why do I love? … there is something human in the desire to love and to be loved; those things are treated as separate desires, wants, but maybe they are the same coin. It is love, on both sides… that adds dimensions to the emotion. It reflects from all angles the various temperatures and viewpoints of love, and no matter how one might feel in the moment, and this I can relate to personally, there is no one true story.” (Pg. 11)
He speaks about rapping, about acting, and much about his personal life; he is frank about his downsides (e.g., “For me, becoming a husband, one half of a long-term and committed intimate relationship, remains unfinished, though I’ve gotten close a few times. WE did,” pg. 12; “I was not a bad father, but I could be a better father to [my daughter Omoye]; no matter how much I loved my daughter through the years, the fact remains that I was often absent, and she has a right to feel a way about this,” pg. 38).
He is also open about his spirituality: “I have my experiences, and you have yours; there are small, human truths within the universal truth, the one truth. This I call God, the Most High, and from here I try to move through the world with Him and His universal truth in mind, as practiced by Christ and the prophets.” (Pg. 13) “I feel a connection to Islam, and other religions as well, even though I identify as a Christian.” (Pg. 88) “God is in me, and love develops the God in me. It’s why I revisit the New Testament; I’m often inspired by the life of Jesus… His heart was open to every man, and in every man he saw the capacity for forgiveness.” (Pg. 130) “With prayer, and by reading the Bible, the Koran, other religious texts and new books, and with meditation, I establish a daily and consistent practice for myself.” (Pg. 131)
After discussing his role in the film, ‘The Hate U Give,’ he suggests, “We as people who are standing up for young Black people who are being shot by the police rarely think about what the police officer is dealing with on a daily basis; we rarely take time to hear from him… the character of Carlos was a chance for me as a human being to listen more to what police officers are dealing with, specifically Black police officers. I thought it was important to hear the side of a Black police officer… If we continue to be on opposite sides, there will be more young people losing their lives.” (Pg. 48) But later, he adds, “I’ve been inspired to do more [socially active work] in the wake of Michael Brown’s death in Ferguson…” (Pg. 135)
He acknowledges about intimate partnerships, “That I don’t have it now only means that the past situations were not right for either of us…” (Pg. 70) He explains, “Susan [his therapist] has helped me to get to the root of my issues. One thing we’ve unpacked … is something she calls ‘intimacy avoidance.’ … I DO avoid intimacy at times… this originates and still lingers from my childhood… being raised by a single mother… especially after my father left.” (Pg. 118)
He recounts a youthful incident of being molested by a young male several years older than him, and summarizes, “I don’t FEEL like a victim, but maybe that’ll change as I continue to … open up fully to the trauma… I want to be a person who helps break cycles of violence and trauma. I forgive him. This is love in action, and I intend to practice it.” (Pg. 186-187)
But this book is mostly about love: “to serve God and to serve other people, families, and communities, you have to care for yourself; you have to love yourself.” (Pg. 14) “What is love? What does it mean to me? If nothing else, it means to let love have the last word in any situation, no matter the person… it is a statement of purpose, and it is a daily promise.” (Pg. 33)
This book will be “must reading” not just for those interested in Common, but for those interested in a heartfelt and revealing memoir by a very intelligent and (relatively) young man, who is deeply involved in the world.
Rapper, actor, and author Common wrote in the first chapter of this 2019 book, “I’ve been rapping for more than twenty-five years now. I would rap for free. I would rap if I lived on the streets… That I’ve … received ... money for rapping speaks to perseverance, I suppose, or market forces. Rapping is my release, my art, my way of expression. It’s a desire that comes from my spirit…” (Pg. 7-9)
He explains, “My name is Rashid, and I do not necessarily know more about love than you do… Why do I love? … there is something human in the desire to love and to be loved; those things are treated as separate desires, wants, but maybe they are the same coin. It is love, on both sides… that adds dimensions to the emotion. It reflects from all angles the various temperatures and viewpoints of love, and no matter how one might feel in the moment, and this I can relate to personally, there is no one true story.” (Pg. 11)
He speaks about rapping, about acting, and much about his personal life; he is frank about his downsides (e.g., “For me, becoming a husband, one half of a long-term and committed intimate relationship, remains unfinished, though I’ve gotten close a few times. WE did,” pg. 12; “I was not a bad father, but I could be a better father to [my daughter Omoye]; no matter how much I loved my daughter through the years, the fact remains that I was often absent, and she has a right to feel a way about this,” pg. 38).
He is also open about his spirituality: “I have my experiences, and you have yours; there are small, human truths within the universal truth, the one truth. This I call God, the Most High, and from here I try to move through the world with Him and His universal truth in mind, as practiced by Christ and the prophets.” (Pg. 13) “I feel a connection to Islam, and other religions as well, even though I identify as a Christian.” (Pg. 88) “God is in me, and love develops the God in me. It’s why I revisit the New Testament; I’m often inspired by the life of Jesus… His heart was open to every man, and in every man he saw the capacity for forgiveness.” (Pg. 130) “With prayer, and by reading the Bible, the Koran, other religious texts and new books, and with meditation, I establish a daily and consistent practice for myself.” (Pg. 131)
After discussing his role in the film, ‘The Hate U Give,’ he suggests, “We as people who are standing up for young Black people who are being shot by the police rarely think about what the police officer is dealing with on a daily basis; we rarely take time to hear from him… the character of Carlos was a chance for me as a human being to listen more to what police officers are dealing with, specifically Black police officers. I thought it was important to hear the side of a Black police officer… If we continue to be on opposite sides, there will be more young people losing their lives.” (Pg. 48) But later, he adds, “I’ve been inspired to do more [socially active work] in the wake of Michael Brown’s death in Ferguson…” (Pg. 135)
He acknowledges about intimate partnerships, “That I don’t have it now only means that the past situations were not right for either of us…” (Pg. 70) He explains, “Susan [his therapist] has helped me to get to the root of my issues. One thing we’ve unpacked … is something she calls ‘intimacy avoidance.’ … I DO avoid intimacy at times… this originates and still lingers from my childhood… being raised by a single mother… especially after my father left.” (Pg. 118)
He recounts a youthful incident of being molested by a young male several years older than him, and summarizes, “I don’t FEEL like a victim, but maybe that’ll change as I continue to … open up fully to the trauma… I want to be a person who helps break cycles of violence and trauma. I forgive him. This is love in action, and I intend to practice it.” (Pg. 186-187)
But this book is mostly about love: “to serve God and to serve other people, families, and communities, you have to care for yourself; you have to love yourself.” (Pg. 14) “What is love? What does it mean to me? If nothing else, it means to let love have the last word in any situation, no matter the person… it is a statement of purpose, and it is a daily promise.” (Pg. 33)
This book will be “must reading” not just for those interested in Common, but for those interested in a heartfelt and revealing memoir by a very intelligent and (relatively) young man, who is deeply involved in the world.
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