The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbooks

by Joshua Piven

Don't get caught with your pants down! Keep this hands-on, how-to guide under the pillow, in the glove compartment, and anywhere you might encounter the perils of romance. Experts provide illustrated instructions on what you need to know Fast: * How to Fend Off a Pickup Artist * How to Determine If Your Date Is an Axe Murderer * How to Have Sex in a Small Space * How to Deal with a Cheating Lover * How to Remove Difficult Clothing * How to Fend Off an Obsessive Ex * How to Survive If You Wake Up Next to Someone Whose Name You Don't Remember ...plus a handy appendix of body language, pickup lines, and useful excuses. One in a series of Worst-Case Scenario Handbooks, this is a humorous guide to the world of dating and sex. Chapters include essential dating and break-up skills, pre-date survival, and instruction on sex and foreplay. The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are back and they've brought a date. Whatever your own dating nightmares are, take it from the professionals, things can get worse. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are dozens of scenarios covering every phase of the romantic or not so romantic turn of events.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Reference, Relationships, Self Help, How To, Sexuality

176 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2001

About the author

Josh Piven is a television writer and producer, speechwriter, playwright, and the author or co-author of more than twenty non-fiction and humor books, including the worldwide best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series.

He wrote the teleplay and serves as producer of Don The Beekeeper, a half-hour children’s TV show about honeybees and urban beekeeping. His most recent stage play, a holiday farce called No Reservations, had its world premiere in November-December, 2013, to great success and critical acclaim. More information. His next play is Muddled.

Josh likes to refer to himself in the third person.

Piven is perhaps best known for his famously tongue-in-cheek worst-case books, books that offer readers real-world (though often hilarious) advice on surviving worst-case situations that they might—but hopefully won’t—encounter: everything from “how to fend off a shark” and “how to wrestle an alligator” to “how to avoid the Freshman 15” and “how to determine if your date is an axe murderer.”

Piven is an honors graduate of the University of Pennsylvania—and living proof that English majors aren't necessarily failures.

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was pretty funny. Another good coffee table book to thumb through and have on hand to read in a group. And it's actually helpful, despite being incredibly funny!

[Oumaïma (readwithmima)]

I thought this would be a lot of humour and sarcasm, and thus, a lot of fun. But the writers ended up being serious about their advice *frowns* So yeah, thank you, but no thank you!

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up out of schadenfreude, really. I'm not fond of the Worst-Case series and this one just seemed like a receipe for disaster. Surprisingly it didn't suck? It wasn't great; there was at least one seriously transphobic entry (hint: your date is whatever gender they say they are and you need to suck it the fuck up), and the pick-up lines and excuses are really... blah.

Final verdict? I was expecting it to be horrible, but it ended up just plain "blah." Not really worth the time, as it's neither good nor a cause of trainwreck syndrome.

[Vovka · Rating 1 out of 5]

Full of terrible advice mixed with good advice such that even the bad advice sometimes sounds plausible and the good advice sometimes seems dubious. Full of ethically dubious advice (recommends dine-and-dash if you can’t pay a restaurant bill, for example).

A whole section on “how to have an affair,” which makes no sense, as it’s not a “worst-case scenario“ but a facilitation of cheating.

Also contains advice on how to stop a wedding (not your own) by faking illness during the ceremony, pulling a fire alarm in a church, objecting during the ceremony, etc.

Terrible book overall, despite the rare bright spots.

[Vennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What can say about this book? Really it's a funny read and hits on so many subjects that we all want to understand and learn to deal with...blind dates, bad kissers, acne, breakups. But, it truly is a very, very enjoyable and quick read.

It's one of these reads where you can open to any page and begin reading.

It circulated in my office and it had everyone laughing and telling their own bad experiences and thinking perhaps they'd have done better if they had the advice the 3 authors offer very freely in the book. For example: How to have sex outdoors, how to sabotage your ex's new relationship and how to spot a fake toupee.

If you need a good laugh, read this book!! I'm not one to enjoy this type of thing...but it really is not the stupid and immature kind of joke book.

It would make a great gag gift.

[(((AntifaGirl))) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped reading it when it started calling transgender people "he or she" and saying that you determine what their gender are from stereotypical traits rather than them actually telling you it and you accepting it, fuck off, that is not a red flag in any way, in fact the writer of this book is more of a red flag than anything they write in this book. I mean I guess there's some bullshit party tricks here and there but really that nullified anything about this book, the actual warnings are all based on popular culture conventions and was it really that hard to just write the common basic Red flags that actually matter rather than be a unfunny prick? Jeez.

[HeavyReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funnier than the Worst-Case Scenario book for the holidays, this book is full of lots of step by step instructions to get people out of all sorts of sex related mishaps.

Topics include (but are not limited to) how to spot fakes (breasts, toupees), how to fake an orgasm (not recommended--by me or the book), what to do if you can't remember the name of the person you wake up next to, how to ditch your date, what to do if don't have enough money to pay the bill, and how to successfully have an affair.

Highly recommended, if only for a laugh.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is refreshing to see the Worse Case Scenario format applied to one of the most emotional aspects of human existence: romantic relationships. The authors (who now include for the first time Jennifer Worick), cut through the emotional anguish, the stress, and mystery of relationships, simply declaring "If this happens, do this." The authors manage to stop just short of cynicism, even when they're explaining how to ditch a bad date, how to have an affair, and how to fake an orgasm. It won't even tell the reader how to get a date, but it could help them survive the worst of it.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I found the book informative; however there were a few parts that distracted me.

I felt that the book came off as seriotyically sexist because it specified a male or a female in a certain roll when it could've been genderless words such as, your date, you, or they.

Other than that, I enjoyed the book. I thought it was funny and informative.

Quick read and time worth spent!

[Indika de Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lets face it folks... Some of the stuff you get in this book is more amusing than helpful. There is a good chance that some of the content will never be used by me in real life. But still it was so funny.

I actually would not mind reading the rest of the books in this series. Never know when such information could come in handy.

[Evie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book. I gave it as a gift to a male friend who was down on his dating luck and he actually used the "remove a bra with one hand" trick to snag his first serious girlfriend a couple months later. Well...maybe it wasn't the smooth move that sealed the deal, but I bet it didn't hurt.

[Patty Baker · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok. Received this book from a friend when I divorced. Meant to be humorous and practical for re-entering the dating scene. But since I do not want to know how to have sex in the bathroom of an airplane, I found the book not practical for me.

[Hank · Rating 3 out of 5]

Backup, just-in-case ;D

[Matt]

Again, if I find myself in a restaurant with a crazy woman, I now know how to escape.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hehehe :).

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is hilarious! From how to tell if your date is an axe-murderer to how to "pass gas" while on a date! Great for a light read.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

FUNNY

[Jen helms · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must have for us single girls!

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book seemed dull; it rarely succeeded at being funny. I learned very little. It's probably worth no more than a superficial look.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cute book. My boyfriend and I laughed a lot when reading the book.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

funny

[SmarterLilac · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a couple of tips in here I'd actually use (if I had to). The rest is pretty silly.

[Diva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun read!

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank God I don't have to worry about this any more, but if you are single and want to know how to tell if your date is a man or how to escape from the worst date of your life, read this book.

[Sadie · Rating 5 out of 5]

how to fake an orgasm, how to leave a bad date, and in the appendix-worst pick up lines ever.

[Jinnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's some real news you can use on the dating scene. There's also quite a bit of news you can't use, but all-in-all, I was able to learn a few tricks and things to be on the lookout for.

[Mihai Criveti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yup. Still funny.

[Cade · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those that are as inept as I in the dating world, this book is pretty funny, or sad, or maybe just strangely useful.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 2 out of 5]

But the question I have is what use IS knowing you could block body odor with chamomile tea bags when most restaurants only carry black or green tea?

[Chelsea · Rating 2 out of 5]

some funny situations.