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Scars and Stillettos
Nineteen-year-old Harmony Dust is trapped. Thousands of dollars in debt, struggling to get by, dominated by her boyfriend: thing can’t get any worse… until someone tells her how much money she can make as an exotic dancer. For the next three years, Harmony lives a double life as Monique, a dancer in a fully-nude strip club. Scars and Stilettos is Harmony’s stark, honest, and ultimately hopeful story of how God found her in that dark, noisy place and led her back out. She has since married, completed an MA in social Welfare, and now leads Treasures, an organization helping women in the sex trade discover their true worth.
264 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2009
44 people are currently reading
839 people want to read
About the author
Harmony Dust
1 book23 followersHarmony Grillo, formerly Harmony Dust:
Victim of exploitation turned UCLA honor student, Harmony's goal is to help women and girls entrenched in sexual exploitation find freedom.
As a survivor, Harmony is passionate about assisting women in their journeys of healing and transformation. In 2003, she founded Treasures, a faith-based outreach and support group to women in the sex industry and victims of sex trafficking.
Armed with personal experience, a Master’s Degree in Social Work and evidence-based theories, Harmony sheds light on the impact of a pornified culture and the lives of women trapped within it. Her memoir, Scars and Stilettos details her harrowing account of moving from victim to survivor to liberator. She has been featured in various media sources, including Glamour, Elle, The Dr. Drew Show, and The Tyra Banks Show. www.iamatreasure.com
SOCIAL MEDIA
INSTA @harmonygrillo @treasures.la
TWITTER @harmonygrillo | @treasuresla
FACEBOOK /harmonygrillo | /treasuresla
YOUTUBE /treasuresxgirls
Victim of exploitation turned UCLA honor student, Harmony's goal is to help women and girls entrenched in sexual exploitation find freedom.
As a survivor, Harmony is passionate about assisting women in their journeys of healing and transformation. In 2003, she founded Treasures, a faith-based outreach and support group to women in the sex industry and victims of sex trafficking.
Armed with personal experience, a Master’s Degree in Social Work and evidence-based theories, Harmony sheds light on the impact of a pornified culture and the lives of women trapped within it. Her memoir, Scars and Stilettos details her harrowing account of moving from victim to survivor to liberator. She has been featured in various media sources, including Glamour, Elle, The Dr. Drew Show, and The Tyra Banks Show. www.iamatreasure.com
SOCIAL MEDIA
INSTA @harmonygrillo @treasures.la
TWITTER @harmonygrillo | @treasuresla
FACEBOOK /harmonygrillo | /treasuresla
YOUTUBE /treasuresxgirls
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
June 17, 2010
This is a world that I know absolutely nothing about and was intrigued enough to read the book. I’ll be honest though, I struggled a bit with the author’s sometimes graphic account of her life as a stripper. But even though it made me uncomfortable, I don’t think the book would have had as big an impact if she would have sugar coated her story.
I also found myself understanding more how a woman could stay in an abusive relationship. Harmony’s boyfriend, who she was desperate to win the approval of, never seemed to care and would spend his unemployed days playing basketball. Her words opened my eyes to how a situation like this could actually come about.
What impressed me the most and made me want to read this book was the fact that once she found the love of our Lord and was able to get away from this industry, rather than putting it all behind her she went back to save the other women. I wonder how many of us would have done the same.
This was a good book and I’m glad to have read it, but I almost hesitate to recommend it due to the honest and graphic portrayal of the stripping. If reading about this sort of thing bothers you, this definitely isn’t the book for you. If reading about a woman who has overcome huge odds and now wants to share the love of Christ with others, then be sure to get a copy of this book.
I also found myself understanding more how a woman could stay in an abusive relationship. Harmony’s boyfriend, who she was desperate to win the approval of, never seemed to care and would spend his unemployed days playing basketball. Her words opened my eyes to how a situation like this could actually come about.
What impressed me the most and made me want to read this book was the fact that once she found the love of our Lord and was able to get away from this industry, rather than putting it all behind her she went back to save the other women. I wonder how many of us would have done the same.
This was a good book and I’m glad to have read it, but I almost hesitate to recommend it due to the honest and graphic portrayal of the stripping. If reading about this sort of thing bothers you, this definitely isn’t the book for you. If reading about a woman who has overcome huge odds and now wants to share the love of Christ with others, then be sure to get a copy of this book.
January 21, 2010
Harmony's story of perseverance through an extraordinarily difficult early childhood and adolescence was not easy. Her story telling style was comfortable and practiced, as if she had told her story a million times. Stylistically, this wasn't a difficult book to read. What made it so difficult, for me, was the reality that her story was not an isolated one; that for every one of Harmony, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of women trapped in the adult entertainment industry. Her transformation and desire to help other women was inspiring. Her story, eye-opening. I will certainly recommend this book to anyone interested in social justice in the darkest corners of our own culture.
August 19, 2018
I won this ebook for free through Goodreads Giveaways. Thank you to Goodreads, the author and publisher for the copy. As always, an honest review.
Technically my rating is 4.5 stars out of 5, but since there aren't half stars I always round up.
If you're like me you'll walk away from Scars and Stilettos inspired, a little ad, and wanting to tell everyone you know about Harmony's story. She grew up in a very unstable and abusive home. She learned at a young age that her worth depended on other people's opinions of her Boyd. Eventually she got into stripping to support herself and her pimp boyfriend.
I appreciated Harmony's honest. She didn't sugarcoat her life, nor did she give such graphic details purely for shock value. I found it interesting to learn why someone might get into the sex work industry, her life outside of her career, and what she really wanted for herself. Turns out, she was incredibly unhappy with her career and many other aspects of her life. The inspirational part begins when she starts going to church and slowly building her self esteem. The writing was inspiring, showing how her positive choices and help from others in her life led her to where she is today. Harmony now runs Treasures, a non profit outreach group for women in the sex work industry and victims of sex trafficking. I honestly can't say enough great things about this memoir.
There are very few criticisms of Scars and Stilettos, except that I wish there was more about her transition after quitting stripping. The book seemed to skip over some of that.
Overall, an inspiring story that can help a lot of people.
Technically my rating is 4.5 stars out of 5, but since there aren't half stars I always round up.
If you're like me you'll walk away from Scars and Stilettos inspired, a little ad, and wanting to tell everyone you know about Harmony's story. She grew up in a very unstable and abusive home. She learned at a young age that her worth depended on other people's opinions of her Boyd. Eventually she got into stripping to support herself and her pimp boyfriend.
I appreciated Harmony's honest. She didn't sugarcoat her life, nor did she give such graphic details purely for shock value. I found it interesting to learn why someone might get into the sex work industry, her life outside of her career, and what she really wanted for herself. Turns out, she was incredibly unhappy with her career and many other aspects of her life. The inspirational part begins when she starts going to church and slowly building her self esteem. The writing was inspiring, showing how her positive choices and help from others in her life led her to where she is today. Harmony now runs Treasures, a non profit outreach group for women in the sex work industry and victims of sex trafficking. I honestly can't say enough great things about this memoir.
There are very few criticisms of Scars and Stilettos, except that I wish there was more about her transition after quitting stripping. The book seemed to skip over some of that.
Overall, an inspiring story that can help a lot of people.
February 20, 2010
I enjoyed this story/memoir and read it straight through. I found it compelling and well written. In fact, I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't a novel because it read like one. The author gives the reader a real feel for the lifestyle and how a young woman can get pulled into it without making the reader feel icky. Not an easy task with this type of subject matter. I appreciate how she showed that God had used the damage from her past to heal her in the present, and to prepare her for the future so she could minister to others.
I personally have been in similar situations as have many of the people I've worked with in child welfare. In these situations they agreed to something they didn't want to do out of fear of losing something they thought they had but was never really theirs to begin with. That particular theme in the story is what makes it so sad and yet, so real. The early childhood abuse taught her not to fight or to assert herself because she would always lose. That is how so many teens that I have worked with felt about themselves. They would make poor choices because they felt they had no choice. Yet when they realized they'd had a choice it was too late. Sad, but very real life. Bottom line...the authenticity of the story amazed me. And to be brave enough to tell it in all of it's shameful subject matter is incredible. That can only be done with God's help.
In Scars and Stilettos I didn't feel like the author was trying to glorify her past, but intended to walk the reader through her story in regards to the thought and emotion she went through as she deal with so many things. It was even powerful of a story in that regard. The beauty of how God reached her right where she was inspired me the most. How true that you don't win people to Christ by shaming them, but by filling them with the love of Christ, and then the behavior changes. You can't make anyone change by condeming them, but with love, you can move mountains. Isn't that so true? This book is not a downer; I really encouraged me. I loved that Harmony pointed out that she waited to heal before getting involved in a new relationship. That was a very healthy message. I have nothing but good things to say about this book.
I personally have been in similar situations as have many of the people I've worked with in child welfare. In these situations they agreed to something they didn't want to do out of fear of losing something they thought they had but was never really theirs to begin with. That particular theme in the story is what makes it so sad and yet, so real. The early childhood abuse taught her not to fight or to assert herself because she would always lose. That is how so many teens that I have worked with felt about themselves. They would make poor choices because they felt they had no choice. Yet when they realized they'd had a choice it was too late. Sad, but very real life. Bottom line...the authenticity of the story amazed me. And to be brave enough to tell it in all of it's shameful subject matter is incredible. That can only be done with God's help.
In Scars and Stilettos I didn't feel like the author was trying to glorify her past, but intended to walk the reader through her story in regards to the thought and emotion she went through as she deal with so many things. It was even powerful of a story in that regard. The beauty of how God reached her right where she was inspired me the most. How true that you don't win people to Christ by shaming them, but by filling them with the love of Christ, and then the behavior changes. You can't make anyone change by condeming them, but with love, you can move mountains. Isn't that so true? This book is not a downer; I really encouraged me. I loved that Harmony pointed out that she waited to heal before getting involved in a new relationship. That was a very healthy message. I have nothing but good things to say about this book.
May 23, 2017
I had been wanting to read this book as I got myself involved in ministry to reach women in the sex industry. Reading other people's reviews I would agree that some parts of the book where Harmony is descriptive are uncomfortable to read, but I believe they are meant to be. The only way to know truly how good God is, is to read the hard and dark things Harmony was subjected to and then see His love captivate and rescue her. As I continue to do God's calling in my life and meet survivor after survivor, I know that the only way to truly understand what they have been through is to step into their world. The vulnerability and honestly that Harmony used to write her story is to be praised. It takes great courage to tell someone your struggles, and much more courage to write it on a book for the whole world to read. I've had the privilege to have met Harmony in person and attend one of her Treasures outreach trainings. Reading her story after meeting her in person made it that much more impactful. That is what I have found to be what drives me in the fight against women being sold and exploited for sex. It took getting to know one of them in person to see things for the way they really are. I am so thankful for Harmony's courage to share her story and to have the privilege to read it. God be glorified!
August 27, 2018
I couldn't put this book down! Harmony has a beautiful way of telling her story and holds nothing back in this amazing memoir about her past working in the sex industry. I walked away from this book full of hope and wonder at how God can transform lives and bring healing. I highly recommend this book!
June 24, 2010
Sex sells – even when marketed under the label of “Christian”.
I had such high hopes for this book and was HUGELY disappointed. I assumed that since the author is a Christian, her story would be tastefully told. Not so.
This book is a very secular auto-biography about a former stripper. While the author does eventually give credit to Jesus for delivering her out of her former lifestyle, the majority of this book is about her past, complete with profanity and detailed graphic descriptions.
Even the front cover appears to be mildly provocative with Harmony looking the part of a “dancer” (or maybe teenage pop star?). The subject matter alone should create enough curiosity to boost book sales without marketing the author in such a worldly manner.
I was so let down as I began to read this book and found God’s name taken in vain (and the curse was spelled out!). (p. 26) This is a book that seems to focus more on the “how to’s” and the gritty details of being an exotic dancer than it does on Harmony’s deliverance from the industry and living out life as a Christian.
I think this book was written prematurely and the author was horribly misguided. Harmony should have had better mentoring before writing this - her publisher and writing mentors definitely did not do her any favors. Hopefully they didn't see dollar signs and jump at her story, using her for the profit and sales. What a terrible thought for a woman who has struggled to leave selling herself so far behind.
She could have told her story in a way that completely glorified Christ and made her point, without glamorizing the strip clubs. In some chapters, her story telling came off almost boastful or prideful as she described the men that she would never “give a second glance” to in real life, yet she worked them over in the clubs to get their money.
I think most people who pick up a book like this are looking for the story of how a girl meets Christ and ends up set free - not the steps a stripper takes to make sure she's ready for the stage. The worst part is that this book will sell and someone will profit. Another piece of evidence that you can get just about anything published under the Christian genre in the days we live in.
June 28, 2010
Wow. This is a powerful story. Simple, direct and to the point, Scars And Stilettos: The Transformation Of An Exotic Dancer
From the very beginning, Dust's story drew me in. Painful at times to read, I found her style to be authentic. She said she didn't want tell her story and seem like a martyr. I think she accomplished this and more.
I love what Craig Gross said in the forward. Dust had a choice. She could have made a choice to move on with her life and put her painful past behind her.
Instead she chose to dive back in the the strip club scene (with support of her church) in order to provide life preservers for women and men drowning in the sex industry.
She also decided to tell her story. I believe she is right, stories have power - and her story in particular reminds people that God can and will transform painful things from our past into ministry opportunities.
As someone who works with students - I asked Dust what she would tell herself if she could go back in time and talk frankly with her "younger" self.
She said first off, she would tell herself that "love truly doesn't hurt."
But more importantly, Dust said she would be a "safe person" who would show up and be present in her life.
"Keep 'showing up,'" Dust said. "Your time and presence are an invaluable gift. Love without agenda."
I truly hope that this book serves two purposes: 1) that it reaches women living in the sex industry trenches, providing them with hope. 2) I hope it shows "average churchgoers" why they need to reach out to people living this lifestyle.
I pray God will use Dust's story of hope and redemption in amazing and unexpected ways.
From the very beginning, Dust's story drew me in. Painful at times to read, I found her style to be authentic. She said she didn't want tell her story and seem like a martyr. I think she accomplished this and more.
I love what Craig Gross said in the forward. Dust had a choice. She could have made a choice to move on with her life and put her painful past behind her.
Instead she chose to dive back in the the strip club scene (with support of her church) in order to provide life preservers for women and men drowning in the sex industry.
She also decided to tell her story. I believe she is right, stories have power - and her story in particular reminds people that God can and will transform painful things from our past into ministry opportunities.
As someone who works with students - I asked Dust what she would tell herself if she could go back in time and talk frankly with her "younger" self.
She said first off, she would tell herself that "love truly doesn't hurt."
But more importantly, Dust said she would be a "safe person" who would show up and be present in her life.
"Keep 'showing up,'" Dust said. "Your time and presence are an invaluable gift. Love without agenda."
I truly hope that this book serves two purposes: 1) that it reaches women living in the sex industry trenches, providing them with hope. 2) I hope it shows "average churchgoers" why they need to reach out to people living this lifestyle.
I pray God will use Dust's story of hope and redemption in amazing and unexpected ways.
June 11, 2012
I think this book was great. I thought it was just a window on what it was like to live harmony's life...the good and the bad. Yes it was slightly graphic at times, but I don't think that it would have tugged on your heart as much if she tiptoed around the hard stuff. Harmony went through numerous amounts of abuse and she ended up in a not so good place in her life. But at the bottom of that dark hole that she found herself in God reached down and grabbed her. She found love and hope at the time and place where she needed it the most, and that my friends is what makes this story so beautiful. I think the most important thing too, is that not only was Harmony changed forever, she is continuing to change young women's lives to this day. "We are changed to be change to others!" What an amazing statement, it would have been so easy for her to walk away from that horrible past of hers and to never look back, but instead she chose to go back and make a change. For that I would give this book way more stars than five. What an awesome God we serve that he can create such a bright light in the darkest of circumstances. Praise God and thanks harmony for sharing such hard stories and for ministering in such a needed way.
July 30, 2018
Good read
So glad she got her life together, & quit stripping & letting others use her. Starting Treasures helped her heal.
So glad she got her life together, & quit stripping & letting others use her. Starting Treasures helped her heal.
January 4, 2018
She Was Ready to Turn Her Pain into Purpose
The raw but comforting subject matter called me to re-read this book.
I thought will this year be the year that I finally share my testimony openly like Harmony and so many other industry women?
Each of our stories are quite different but similar. I was a daycare teacher like her. If only it paid more (sound familiar?). I was so innocent. Had I ever thought porn and false dreams would be my reality andrip me so far from who I was?
Girls/YA are easy to sway, often so insecure. Read and share all our stories, beginning with this one. I thought I was strong. How did I get pumped?!
There are more of us sitting in silence than you'd like to think.
I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain....
The raw but comforting subject matter called me to re-read this book.
I thought will this year be the year that I finally share my testimony openly like Harmony and so many other industry women?
Each of our stories are quite different but similar. I was a daycare teacher like her. If only it paid more (sound familiar?). I was so innocent. Had I ever thought porn and false dreams would be my reality andrip me so far from who I was?
Girls/YA are easy to sway, often so insecure. Read and share all our stories, beginning with this one. I thought I was strong. How did I get pumped?!
There are more of us sitting in silence than you'd like to think.
I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain....
April 20, 2020
I've volunteered with Harmony's organization, Treasures for years now and what I LOVE about them is their authentic care and humility. So many organizations that set out help women who want to get out of the industry are judgy and just kind of leave you with a gross, holier-than-thou feeling. Treasures just wants to let people know they are loved. And make sure they're eating. Maybe swap wake-up tips along the way. I think this is why Harmony and her story end up featured in things like Buzzfeed and Elle. There is no pretense to it. While it does talk about faith, there's no "and then I met Jesus and I've been perfect since" undertone. There's no making the church out to be perfect either. There's just understanding and honesty. And it's all kinds of refreshing.
February 4, 2023
If you can get past the chocolate savory coating of Jesus that is all over this thing, there is some very solid writing. At the core of which are some glaringly understated and important takeaways, which have to do with family structure, poverty, and ultimately the nature of faith.
However not all women who choose to strip or work in the sex industry are trafficked or broken or abused or for that matter are interested in being “saved”, which isn’t altogether implied here, but changing the typified language we use to describe and destigmatize the “world’s oldest profession”, not to mention sexual desires at their very basest hormonally driven natures is necessary and very currently evolving, and I can’t say this book made a significant contribution to that effort.
However not all women who choose to strip or work in the sex industry are trafficked or broken or abused or for that matter are interested in being “saved”, which isn’t altogether implied here, but changing the typified language we use to describe and destigmatize the “world’s oldest profession”, not to mention sexual desires at their very basest hormonally driven natures is necessary and very currently evolving, and I can’t say this book made a significant contribution to that effort.
October 23, 2024
Amazing memoir
I enjoyed this book! I love memoirs and this one didn’t disappoint. I am a former stripper so it was easy to relate to the author. I also dealt with childhood abuse and never felt worthy of love. This book caught my eye because I danced in the 90’s and early 2000’s and strangely enough my stage name was Harmony. I went through addiction and incarceration but finally made it out of the industry. I’m glad their are organizations and resources helping ladies start a new life after being in the adult entertainment industry. I highly recommend this book . Thank you, Harmony for sharing your story.
I enjoyed this book! I love memoirs and this one didn’t disappoint. I am a former stripper so it was easy to relate to the author. I also dealt with childhood abuse and never felt worthy of love. This book caught my eye because I danced in the 90’s and early 2000’s and strangely enough my stage name was Harmony. I went through addiction and incarceration but finally made it out of the industry. I’m glad their are organizations and resources helping ladies start a new life after being in the adult entertainment industry. I highly recommend this book . Thank you, Harmony for sharing your story.
November 29, 2021
No everyone that become a stripper is trafficked but they all have a story.
This is a story of a woman that was sexually abused as a child, raped and abused and yet found a way to provide for her needs while maintaining a 4.0 GPA in college.
The people that helped her get out of the industry are an amazing part of this story and now she is helping others leave that life behind as well. She does that because she understand the mental and emotion toll that paid by those that are part of the sex industry.
This is a story of a woman that was sexually abused as a child, raped and abused and yet found a way to provide for her needs while maintaining a 4.0 GPA in college.
The people that helped her get out of the industry are an amazing part of this story and now she is helping others leave that life behind as well. She does that because she understand the mental and emotion toll that paid by those that are part of the sex industry.
September 25, 2018
Beautiful story of Harmony Dust and what she has built from such an abusive and difficult background. Someone's review stated that this gave a really good perspective into why people stay in abusive relationships- I agree, this story shows you how trapped one must feel, for reasons most of us (hopefully) never experience. I love the message that Harmony has build her Outreach effort around: so simple and incredibly meaningful...You are loved and you matter,
December 28, 2018
Awesome book
I still struggle with my story and this book helped me see that. I thought I was healed and now I realize I am not.
I still struggle with my story and this book helped me see that. I thought I was healed and now I realize I am not.
May 1, 2019
3 stars
Well written story. Not my mind of story that l usually read. Things were very hard for her but she came through a better person.
Well written story. Not my mind of story that l usually read. Things were very hard for her but she came through a better person.
October 21, 2020
Powerful Testimony
Thank you, Harmony, for sharing your testimony and showing us the beauty of being broken, how God loves us no matter where we're at in life.
Thank you, Harmony, for sharing your testimony and showing us the beauty of being broken, how God loves us no matter where we're at in life.
February 6, 2021
God drew me out of the pit! He is my rock and my salvation
March 4, 2021
This book was a lovely testimony.
May 18, 2022
This is a compelling memoir. Gives you an intimate and fair look into what life is like for a young woman working as a stripper. I learned a lot, very well written
April 20, 2024
I read this book for Ana. This is for you Ana. Wherever you are. I pray you know you are loved. God loves you. He hasn't forgotten you. I pray you come home. I love you!
March 5, 2022
An absolutely gripping story by Harmony Grillo. Much like Timea Nagy’s “out of the shadows”, I was glued to the page. I finished this book in all of 24 hours, hardly putting it down the entire time. Harmony’s story is one that illustrates the lives of many involved in the sex trade. The promise of “only working two months”, the battling of childhood abuse; the exploitation by a partner. This book, although not necessarily focused on human trafficking, shows how tight a partner’s hand can be gripped around your neck and how hard it is to leave. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn first-hand what sex work can look like in a nightclub, and to anyone who may be looking for inspiration to leave their exploitative, toxic partner.
December 27, 2011
Ok, I didn’t plan my letters appropriately and needed to use “E” for this one, you know, EXOTIC dancer. A stretch? I think not…
Anyway, this may be my last review on here as I believe LibraryLove and I will be saying goodbye to our blogging days in 2012. Neither of us completed this year’s challenge, but hey, life got busy. And in case you forgot, we BOTH read 52 books EACH in 2010. I’ll pause for applause… HA!
Ok, back to the review. Scars and Stilettos is a true story of a friend of a friend of mine. Once consumed by her need of approval from her boyfriend, Harmony found herself misguided and caught up in a vicious, dark cycle. Having read this book after Shelley Lubben’s autobiography, this one is very G rated. Same messaging (Christ’s redeeming love and power), yet much gentler story telling. Surely, anyone can relate in the sense that we all find ourselves at times seeking validation from other people or things. Maybe it’s your spouse, partner, fiance; maybe you are married to your job, home, car, material things; maybe it’s an addiction you seek acceptance from. The fact is, we can all find something in our lives that hold us victim at one time or another.
For Harmony, it was her boyfriend who dominated her for YEARS. This cat even got another girl pregnant, moved her into the apartment Harmony was paying for (and they lived in together), and then had the audacity to ask her to get him his own place because “he needed more room as a father.” And all of this supported by her stripping career. Are you kidding me?! (Easy to say that as an outsider, but imagine the background and what gets one to that place of desperation) As I’ve read more than one memoir of those in the sex industry (Shelley Lubben, Jenna Jameson, etc) it’s a classic history of sexual abuse, neglect, rape, father issues, drug abuse, and/or abandonment. So it is with Harmony.
While very sad indeed, what is compelling, uplifting and encouraging is God’s faithfulness through the dark valleys. He remains committed to us even IN the dark places. I love when Harmony points out that we don’t have to “get our act together” before God loves us. He always has and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can get ourselves out of the muck and mire. Having been to Harmony’s church, Oasis, in LA, I understand how she felt God’s presence so powerfully. I attended a GodChicks conference there in 2007 when a friend of mine was living in LA. Pastors Philip and Holly Wagner have such an inviting presence to them that makes you feel loved, accepted and valued.
Which is precisely what Harmony is now doing with Treasures, her non-profit, faith-based support group and outreach for women in the sex industry. She is setting out to teach these women in the over 170 strip clubs they visit annually, that they are valued, loved and purposed. The Bible tells us that God never wastes a hurt. And Harmony’s testimony proves just that–she is an amazing woman of God doing wonderful things that she could only do having gone through her dark places.
Thank you for sharing your story and for committing to serve other women in the hopes of turning their lives around too.
5/5 stars
http://bookwormz2010.wordpress.com/20...
Anyway, this may be my last review on here as I believe LibraryLove and I will be saying goodbye to our blogging days in 2012. Neither of us completed this year’s challenge, but hey, life got busy. And in case you forgot, we BOTH read 52 books EACH in 2010. I’ll pause for applause… HA!
Ok, back to the review. Scars and Stilettos is a true story of a friend of a friend of mine. Once consumed by her need of approval from her boyfriend, Harmony found herself misguided and caught up in a vicious, dark cycle. Having read this book after Shelley Lubben’s autobiography, this one is very G rated. Same messaging (Christ’s redeeming love and power), yet much gentler story telling. Surely, anyone can relate in the sense that we all find ourselves at times seeking validation from other people or things. Maybe it’s your spouse, partner, fiance; maybe you are married to your job, home, car, material things; maybe it’s an addiction you seek acceptance from. The fact is, we can all find something in our lives that hold us victim at one time or another.
For Harmony, it was her boyfriend who dominated her for YEARS. This cat even got another girl pregnant, moved her into the apartment Harmony was paying for (and they lived in together), and then had the audacity to ask her to get him his own place because “he needed more room as a father.” And all of this supported by her stripping career. Are you kidding me?! (Easy to say that as an outsider, but imagine the background and what gets one to that place of desperation) As I’ve read more than one memoir of those in the sex industry (Shelley Lubben, Jenna Jameson, etc) it’s a classic history of sexual abuse, neglect, rape, father issues, drug abuse, and/or abandonment. So it is with Harmony.
While very sad indeed, what is compelling, uplifting and encouraging is God’s faithfulness through the dark valleys. He remains committed to us even IN the dark places. I love when Harmony points out that we don’t have to “get our act together” before God loves us. He always has and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can get ourselves out of the muck and mire. Having been to Harmony’s church, Oasis, in LA, I understand how she felt God’s presence so powerfully. I attended a GodChicks conference there in 2007 when a friend of mine was living in LA. Pastors Philip and Holly Wagner have such an inviting presence to them that makes you feel loved, accepted and valued.
Which is precisely what Harmony is now doing with Treasures, her non-profit, faith-based support group and outreach for women in the sex industry. She is setting out to teach these women in the over 170 strip clubs they visit annually, that they are valued, loved and purposed. The Bible tells us that God never wastes a hurt. And Harmony’s testimony proves just that–she is an amazing woman of God doing wonderful things that she could only do having gone through her dark places.
Thank you for sharing your story and for committing to serve other women in the hopes of turning their lives around too.
5/5 stars
http://bookwormz2010.wordpress.com/20...
May 20, 2014
Ich las die Deutsche Ausgabe vom Brunnen Verlag
In dem Buch "Nur einer sah meine Seele" erzählt Harmony Dust von ihrem Leben als Stripperin. Ihre Geschichte ist ein Beispiel einer Frau, die freiwillig in der Sexindustrie arbeitet, während sie ansonsten normal in die Gesellschaft integriert ist und das College besucht und studiert. Harmony ist trotzdem nicht frei. Ihre Kindheit verlebt sie vernachlässigt und von den Eltern verlassen in einem verdreckten Haus, wo sie von Erwachsenen missbraucht wird. Als Teenager wird sie von einem Freund vergewaltigt, der noch damit angibt. Um den einzigen Menschen nicht zu verlieren, den sie lange kennt, einen Jungen, den die Mutter aufgenommen hat, schläft sie mit ihm und fängt an im Stripclub zu arbeiten, um eine gemeinsame Wohnung zu finanzieren. So hofft sie, ihn an sich zu binden. Zeitweise lässt sie auch noch seine Freundin, die von ihm schwanger ist, da wohnen. Man sieht also, dass Harmony trotz äusseren Wohlstands und guter beruflicher Perspektive in einem kranken Verhältnis steckt, aus dem sie sich nicht lösen kann. Sie ist es durch den Missbrauch gewohnt, sich als Sexobjekt wahrzunehmen und spielt dieses Spiel mit. In dem Buch schildert sie genau ihre Gefühle, ihre Laufbahn, den Kontakt zu den Kunden und die Beziehung zu den anderen Stripperinnen. Glücklich ist dort keine, aber kaum jemand schafft den Absprung. Als Harmony durch ihren Ballettunterricht in einer Kirche landet, gewinnt sie durch den Glauben das Selbstwertgefühl, das ihr bisher gefehlt hat. Sie bekommt die Kraft, um auszusteigen und hilft heute anderen Sexarbeiterinnen. Das Buch befasst sich nur mit frewilligen Diensten, spricht aber kurz an, dass z. B. ein Mitarbeiter, der sich auch sehr um den Ausstieg bemüht hat, keinen anderen Job finden konnte. Es handelt sich hier um ein christliches Buch, das jedoch bis zum Ende ein unreligiöser Erfahrungsbericht ist, so dass jeder dieses Buch lesen kann, der Frauen besser begreifen möchte, die freiwillig in die Sexindustrie gehen. Harmony hat studiert und geheiratet und lebt ein normales Leben. Die Einleitung des Buches weist jedoch darauf hin, dass ein Eintritt in die normale Gesellschaft in Deutschland schwieriger ist, weil die Arbeit in der Sexindustrie als normal angesehen wird, so dass man keinen Leidensdruck mehr zugesteht (Ich habe mal einen Erfharungsbericht einer freiwilligen Prostituierten gelesen, die psychologische Hilfe suchte, die Psychologen aber gar nicht begriffen, warum eine Prostituierte psychische Probleme hat.) Umgekehrt ist man aber unwilliger, jemanden mit solch einer Vergangenheit die Rückkehr in die Gesellschaft zu ermöglichen. (In diesem anderen Erfahrungsbericht wurde das bestätigt, es gibt in Deutschland Beratungsstellen, die Frauen den Einstieg in die Prostitution ermöglichen, jedoch gibt es keinerlei Hilfe beim Ausstieg.)
Das Buch blickt hinter das hübsche Märchen von der freiwilligen freudigen Sexarbeit und beschäftigt sich mit psychischen Mustern und Schäden durch Missbrauch.
In dem Buch "Nur einer sah meine Seele" erzählt Harmony Dust von ihrem Leben als Stripperin. Ihre Geschichte ist ein Beispiel einer Frau, die freiwillig in der Sexindustrie arbeitet, während sie ansonsten normal in die Gesellschaft integriert ist und das College besucht und studiert. Harmony ist trotzdem nicht frei. Ihre Kindheit verlebt sie vernachlässigt und von den Eltern verlassen in einem verdreckten Haus, wo sie von Erwachsenen missbraucht wird. Als Teenager wird sie von einem Freund vergewaltigt, der noch damit angibt. Um den einzigen Menschen nicht zu verlieren, den sie lange kennt, einen Jungen, den die Mutter aufgenommen hat, schläft sie mit ihm und fängt an im Stripclub zu arbeiten, um eine gemeinsame Wohnung zu finanzieren. So hofft sie, ihn an sich zu binden. Zeitweise lässt sie auch noch seine Freundin, die von ihm schwanger ist, da wohnen. Man sieht also, dass Harmony trotz äusseren Wohlstands und guter beruflicher Perspektive in einem kranken Verhältnis steckt, aus dem sie sich nicht lösen kann. Sie ist es durch den Missbrauch gewohnt, sich als Sexobjekt wahrzunehmen und spielt dieses Spiel mit. In dem Buch schildert sie genau ihre Gefühle, ihre Laufbahn, den Kontakt zu den Kunden und die Beziehung zu den anderen Stripperinnen. Glücklich ist dort keine, aber kaum jemand schafft den Absprung. Als Harmony durch ihren Ballettunterricht in einer Kirche landet, gewinnt sie durch den Glauben das Selbstwertgefühl, das ihr bisher gefehlt hat. Sie bekommt die Kraft, um auszusteigen und hilft heute anderen Sexarbeiterinnen. Das Buch befasst sich nur mit frewilligen Diensten, spricht aber kurz an, dass z. B. ein Mitarbeiter, der sich auch sehr um den Ausstieg bemüht hat, keinen anderen Job finden konnte. Es handelt sich hier um ein christliches Buch, das jedoch bis zum Ende ein unreligiöser Erfahrungsbericht ist, so dass jeder dieses Buch lesen kann, der Frauen besser begreifen möchte, die freiwillig in die Sexindustrie gehen. Harmony hat studiert und geheiratet und lebt ein normales Leben. Die Einleitung des Buches weist jedoch darauf hin, dass ein Eintritt in die normale Gesellschaft in Deutschland schwieriger ist, weil die Arbeit in der Sexindustrie als normal angesehen wird, so dass man keinen Leidensdruck mehr zugesteht (Ich habe mal einen Erfharungsbericht einer freiwilligen Prostituierten gelesen, die psychologische Hilfe suchte, die Psychologen aber gar nicht begriffen, warum eine Prostituierte psychische Probleme hat.) Umgekehrt ist man aber unwilliger, jemanden mit solch einer Vergangenheit die Rückkehr in die Gesellschaft zu ermöglichen. (In diesem anderen Erfahrungsbericht wurde das bestätigt, es gibt in Deutschland Beratungsstellen, die Frauen den Einstieg in die Prostitution ermöglichen, jedoch gibt es keinerlei Hilfe beim Ausstieg.)
Das Buch blickt hinter das hübsche Märchen von der freiwilligen freudigen Sexarbeit und beschäftigt sich mit psychischen Mustern und Schäden durch Missbrauch.
May 31, 2010
Life was hard...it was just something you had to get through. If something was somewhat undesirable--just ignore it. It will go away...at least that is how Harmony felt about many things in her life. She was happy that her mom had abandoned her because it meant her mom's boyfriend who was inappropriate with Harmony would not be there either. When her friend Derrick showed her how to clean up her bathroom, she was grateful, indebted. Unfortunately, she had no idea how long that indebtedness would stick with her, nor what she would do to try and repay it.
Stuck in a vicious cycle of use and abuse, Harmony feels the only way she can maintain her relationship with Derrick is to support him, however her day job as a preschool teacher wasn't paying the bills. After a college professor fails to provide the reassurance she needs, Harmony applies at a strip club, and gets the job. Vowing to herself that she will only be there for a maximum of three months to get caught up on the bills, Harmony begins to sell herself, bit by bit.
This true story of Harmony Dust is a look into the tattered world of the sex trade, the women who are its slaves, and the God who loves them. Harmony tells her heart-wrenching story of abuse, misuse, and depression only to have an amazing ending in which God plucks her out of her job and gives her a new life as His daughter. Since she left the sex industry, Harmony has gotten married and started a ministry called "Treasures" to minister to women entrenched in the sex trade.
Scars and Stilettos was a poignant look at the life of one sex trade slave. It was well written and fast-paced. Harmony tells her story truthfully and you can sense her heart for these women seeping through the pages. I would recommend this book with the disclaimer that it does talk about themes of sexuality, abuse, drugs, and alcohol.
A copy of this title was provided for review purposes by Litfuse. This has in no way affected the content of this review.
Stuck in a vicious cycle of use and abuse, Harmony feels the only way she can maintain her relationship with Derrick is to support him, however her day job as a preschool teacher wasn't paying the bills. After a college professor fails to provide the reassurance she needs, Harmony applies at a strip club, and gets the job. Vowing to herself that she will only be there for a maximum of three months to get caught up on the bills, Harmony begins to sell herself, bit by bit.
This true story of Harmony Dust is a look into the tattered world of the sex trade, the women who are its slaves, and the God who loves them. Harmony tells her heart-wrenching story of abuse, misuse, and depression only to have an amazing ending in which God plucks her out of her job and gives her a new life as His daughter. Since she left the sex industry, Harmony has gotten married and started a ministry called "Treasures" to minister to women entrenched in the sex trade.
Scars and Stilettos was a poignant look at the life of one sex trade slave. It was well written and fast-paced. Harmony tells her story truthfully and you can sense her heart for these women seeping through the pages. I would recommend this book with the disclaimer that it does talk about themes of sexuality, abuse, drugs, and alcohol.
A copy of this title was provided for review purposes by Litfuse. This has in no way affected the content of this review.
October 2, 2012
This book was incredible! The story of a treasured, beloved, beautiful daughter of God whose experience of abuse, low self-image, abandonment and neglect led her to make a series of sad choices. Her entrance into the sex industry as an exotic dancer and the subsequent bondage of an addiction to the money that enabled her to fuel her attempt to keep an ever-more distant "boyfriend"-of-sorts from leaving her completely is skillfully written and heart-wrenchingly open and honest. The subsequent transformation of her life by a loving God, working through His people and (gasp!) even His church, who loved her and accepted her through it all is a wonderful example of how the life of faith is truly lived out. BUT IT GETS BETTER! Harmony didn't stop at getting herself out of the industry. She has now founded a non-profit org called Treasures that reaches out to women still in the bondage of the sex industry - strippers, exotic dancers, prostitutes, etc. She began this joyous task simply by obeying a feeling from God to write a few little notes to the girls in the club she used to work at, letting them know that there is a place - a house of God - where they would be welcome. See the full story at http://www.iamatreasure.com/
and definitely read this book! In Harmony's own words, "Many of those who have never been a part of the sex industry can relate to living in a way that does not reflect a parson's true value, or to searching for significance in other people rather than God."
My favorite quote: "I am not who I was. I am not even who I was yesterday. Tomorrow I will be new again, and again, until I am completely the woman I was meant to be. Still, in this moment, in this breath that I am taking, I am enough. Right now - as is - I am worth loving and fighting for. This God of mine has shown me that. He is enough. ... And if He is all I ever have... He is enough. And I am enough in Him."
and definitely read this book! In Harmony's own words, "Many of those who have never been a part of the sex industry can relate to living in a way that does not reflect a parson's true value, or to searching for significance in other people rather than God."
My favorite quote: "I am not who I was. I am not even who I was yesterday. Tomorrow I will be new again, and again, until I am completely the woman I was meant to be. Still, in this moment, in this breath that I am taking, I am enough. Right now - as is - I am worth loving and fighting for. This God of mine has shown me that. He is enough. ... And if He is all I ever have... He is enough. And I am enough in Him."
May 14, 2010
Scars & Stilettos by Harmony Dust will probably grab readers with its subtitle: The Transformation of an Exotic Dancer. Harmony was raised with virtually no parental involvement in Venice Beach California. Her mother was a hippie who regularly moved boyfriends in and out of the house and sold crystals on the boardwalk. Her father is a Chicago businessman who was to wrapped up in marrying and divorcing to have time for his little girl. Left to her own devices, she was forced to raise herself and try to protect herself from the adults who abused and molested her, leaving Harmony with a skewed view of sexuality and love. She soon attaches herself to Derrick, a childhood friend, who is at first a boyfriend but then takes advantage of her financially and sexually while running around with other women. Despite all of this drama, Harmony still put herself through college to get a degree in developmental psychology and was working at a daycare center. When she wasn't making enough money to support both Derrick and herself (and his baby's mama), she took a job as a stripper, just for a few months until she could get out of debt. A few months turned into several years until she started going to church and fell in love with God. Her story of escaping a life of degradation and shame is without artifice or pretense. Harmony tells readers how she disconnected her brain from her body in order to strip in front of strangers for money and then how God restored her pride and sense of self. This brave young woman wasn't content to just get herself out of the industry; she's also formed a group called Treasures, Inc to help other women still stripping by showing them that they are loved. This is a courageous story told with a great deal of heart.
June 16, 2010
I guess all I can say is wow. I admire Harmony for finally leaving the negative in her life behind at the age of 22 and wanting to help other woman in the business of stripping for a living. A lot of the women Harmony described were like her, trying to make a lot of money to pay off bills, or just have the better things in life, saying to themselves, "I am only doing this for a short time, just to make money, then I will quit. In most cases this does not happen and these woman stay stripping until their looks fade.
Some of the statistics really surprised me. There are more women employed in this industry than ever before in America and that there are over 2700 strip clubs in the U.S.
In Harmonys case, she had an abusive childhood and met this boy and they ended up having a long term relationship. In my opinion he was a leech because he clung to Harmony for monetarily support and that is basically all he wanted from her. Harmony fought for many years her feelings for this guy who was only using her. How many of us have been in a similiar situation, staying with some guy because we may be afraid! How to leave someone in this type of relationship is very hard to do.
Harmony started letting God into her life and through Him she was able to quit stripping and tell this guy that she will no longer support him. The support group that she founded called Treasures, is an outreach program bringing assistance and God's word into these womens lives.
I found this book to be quite interesting as I had never really read or thought to read about strippers. A straightforward and honest memoir...
Some of the statistics really surprised me. There are more women employed in this industry than ever before in America and that there are over 2700 strip clubs in the U.S.
In Harmonys case, she had an abusive childhood and met this boy and they ended up having a long term relationship. In my opinion he was a leech because he clung to Harmony for monetarily support and that is basically all he wanted from her. Harmony fought for many years her feelings for this guy who was only using her. How many of us have been in a similiar situation, staying with some guy because we may be afraid! How to leave someone in this type of relationship is very hard to do.
Harmony started letting God into her life and through Him she was able to quit stripping and tell this guy that she will no longer support him. The support group that she founded called Treasures, is an outreach program bringing assistance and God's word into these womens lives.
I found this book to be quite interesting as I had never really read or thought to read about strippers. A straightforward and honest memoir...
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