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Lost Without My Daughter
In 1987, American housewife Betty Mahmoody published Not Without My Daughter, which became a sensation. In the book, Betty claimed that she and Mahtob, her five-year-old daughter, had been kidnapped from the USA in 1984 and imprisoned in Tehran by her Iranian husband, Dr Sayed Mahmoody - aka ‘Moody’ - a man she vilified as a violent, sadistic monster.
Betty’s story culminated with a dramatic escape, as she takes her daughter from Iran over the Zagros Mountains and into Turkey. The book sold 12 million copies and inspired the 1991 Hollywood film of the same name, starring Oscar-winner Sally Field. For twenty years Betty’s husband has kept silent. Now, in Lost Without My Daughter, Sayed Mahmoody finally reveals the astonishing truth.
As well as being a moving, frank story of a once happy family’s collapse, and a father’s subsequent search for meaning in his life, Lost Without My Daughter is also a cultural and political history of Iran, from the revolution to the present day. Perhaps more than anything, it is an exercise in truth, the last-ditch attempt of a father desperate to reach his daughter, to let her know that he is not the monster he has been portrayed to be.
Betty’s story culminated with a dramatic escape, as she takes her daughter from Iran over the Zagros Mountains and into Turkey. The book sold 12 million copies and inspired the 1991 Hollywood film of the same name, starring Oscar-winner Sally Field. For twenty years Betty’s husband has kept silent. Now, in Lost Without My Daughter, Sayed Mahmoody finally reveals the astonishing truth.
As well as being a moving, frank story of a once happy family’s collapse, and a father’s subsequent search for meaning in his life, Lost Without My Daughter is also a cultural and political history of Iran, from the revolution to the present day. Perhaps more than anything, it is an exercise in truth, the last-ditch attempt of a father desperate to reach his daughter, to let her know that he is not the monster he has been portrayed to be.
161 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 2, 2013
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567 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
February 15, 2016
When words fail...
It's difficult to read this book. Not least because the syntax and grammar, as well as the narrative, are poorly executed. However, it should be read.
I read NWMD in the early 90s, through a teenagers eyes. Then, a few months ago, I read Mahtob's book. That, of course, led to this book. As has been said by others, collecting all facets of the story is important...which is why this book should be read. I have no doubt that Mahtob and Betty are telling the truth about Moody's abuse and change of attitude. Reading this book solidified that for me. In not admitting that he was a physical, quick to anger person, he self identified as a pacifist parent who had been maligned by almost every entity on the planet. But, it's not just Mahtob and Betty who saw the other side of Moody. His own friends confirmed Betty's version and, if you read Mahtob's book, you see that Moody's best American friend called him out for his lies regarding taking Mahtob to Iran. It's been confirmed that Betty was told it was a two week vacation. But, Moody, until the very end, insisted on the lie. It's hard to imagine being cut off from a child and I know alienation against a parent is real. But, strangely, this book is less about exploring one side of the story and providing a counterpoint than it is about a narcissist and his struggle to uphold his self image. Reading this book leaves you confused.
It's difficult to read this book. Not least because the syntax and grammar, as well as the narrative, are poorly executed. However, it should be read.
I read NWMD in the early 90s, through a teenagers eyes. Then, a few months ago, I read Mahtob's book. That, of course, led to this book. As has been said by others, collecting all facets of the story is important...which is why this book should be read. I have no doubt that Mahtob and Betty are telling the truth about Moody's abuse and change of attitude. Reading this book solidified that for me. In not admitting that he was a physical, quick to anger person, he self identified as a pacifist parent who had been maligned by almost every entity on the planet. But, it's not just Mahtob and Betty who saw the other side of Moody. His own friends confirmed Betty's version and, if you read Mahtob's book, you see that Moody's best American friend called him out for his lies regarding taking Mahtob to Iran. It's been confirmed that Betty was told it was a two week vacation. But, Moody, until the very end, insisted on the lie. It's hard to imagine being cut off from a child and I know alienation against a parent is real. But, strangely, this book is less about exploring one side of the story and providing a counterpoint than it is about a narcissist and his struggle to uphold his self image. Reading this book leaves you confused.
January 27, 2019
Good to hear the perspective of the dad in this story. Unfortunately both the mom and daughter both agree that he was abusive and intent on keeping them hostage in Iran, no matter how much he tries to spin himself as a perfect peace keeper and his wife as a complete mental case. Gonna go with the 5 year old here who remembers her dad bashing her mom's head into the wall, cause I feel like that would be kinda hard to forget! Also, no amount of "Iranians are just like Americans" is going to win me over when the next paragraph is all about public hangings with no trial, women being executed for letting their ankles show and sending children into war to blow up land mines for the army.. Cause that kinda sounds like Iranians are NOT just like Americans!
September 15, 2014
I won't give this book any stars, because I am so familiar with "Not without my daughter". So, this book really made me think whether I too am a victim of propaganda. True, when I saw the film and the end with the American flag and "we're home" I wanted to gag. No other nation is so darn proud of itself - and without any reason... I am sorry my American friends, but it is true! However, I do know the problems with female rights in Islamic countries (would be stupid if I didn't...) and I hate that kind of culture. But Sayed Mahmoody makes an interesting case, because he DOES acknowledge the problems with female rights and seems to be all for them. However, I hate all kinds of extremists, especially religious ones, who are the most dangerous - be it Islamic or Christian fundamendalists. Therefore, this book was some sort of an eye opener for me. I do know of the hypocrisy in the States, at least the Islamic countries are not hiding the shit they put women through. But when considering the totally opposite image the West and especially the States gives of women in movies (especially porn industry), ads etc... it is also damaging. No woman can live up to the beauty demands, and if you don't live up to it, they lose self-esteem - and that is dangerous especially among young girls with anorexia and bulimia et al. Funny, that both countries are responsible for making demands to women - the other forces you to hide your beauty, the other considers you as nothing without it (sometimes an impossible "amount" of it...) But if I had to choose out of two evils, at least Western countries gives you a choice and women have more freedom. The strong ones do not bend to the stupid beauty standards, and that is okay. Not that movies and ads don't try, though. I despise the Western demands on women, but when it comes to Islamic demands, there are no words to describe my hatred towards how they treat women. I am no racist, but you might call me a "cultural racist". I do not have to be accepting of cultures that do not accept my gender. Period.
However, this book made me think that do we really know the whole truth of the Betty Mahmoody story. Sayed Mahmoody does build an interesting case. And since I haven't been a fly on the wall, I do not take sides this time. I am glad I read this book written by an educated man, but I will still continue to read the books about the awful conditions of Muslim women. But don't get me wrong - I am also critical of the west - just watch "Miss Representation" and there you go. Wish we achieved equality at some point, but I doubt it will ever happen. Not in the Eastern nor the Western countries. And (I am sooo gonna get stoned (not in the "getting high" -sense) or crucified, depending on your religion...) but religion is to blame. And men. Could write more, but I think I've said enough ;)
However, this book made me think that do we really know the whole truth of the Betty Mahmoody story. Sayed Mahmoody does build an interesting case. And since I haven't been a fly on the wall, I do not take sides this time. I am glad I read this book written by an educated man, but I will still continue to read the books about the awful conditions of Muslim women. But don't get me wrong - I am also critical of the west - just watch "Miss Representation" and there you go. Wish we achieved equality at some point, but I doubt it will ever happen. Not in the Eastern nor the Western countries. And (I am sooo gonna get stoned (not in the "getting high" -sense) or crucified, depending on your religion...) but religion is to blame. And men. Could write more, but I think I've said enough ;)
March 23, 2016
The book was not so much about his family or his daughter as it was about the social and political aspects of the Iran/Iraqi war. Mahmoody argues against claims made by his wife, but then proceeds to gloss over his account of things, focusing instead primarily on his discussion of the war.
For me, who has both read the book and seen the film based on his wife's accounts, I felt that despite hers being seemingly too over-dramatized and exaggerated to be completely believable, his was far too sanitized to be believable at all. It felt like a shame that this alleged effort to clear his name, tell his side and reach his daughter has turned into little more than a history book with a few disparaging family stories about his wife. I had hoped for more from Mr. Mahmoody--some insight into his person and some clear-cut answers from his perspective. Instead I finished the book wondering what the point was--especially in the editor who seemingly has missed far more grammatical errors than I would think possible for a book that short. I would not bother reading it again.
For me, who has both read the book and seen the film based on his wife's accounts, I felt that despite hers being seemingly too over-dramatized and exaggerated to be completely believable, his was far too sanitized to be believable at all. It felt like a shame that this alleged effort to clear his name, tell his side and reach his daughter has turned into little more than a history book with a few disparaging family stories about his wife. I had hoped for more from Mr. Mahmoody--some insight into his person and some clear-cut answers from his perspective. Instead I finished the book wondering what the point was--especially in the editor who seemingly has missed far more grammatical errors than I would think possible for a book that short. I would not bother reading it again.
February 18, 2019
Dr sayeed mahmody fails to convince the readers that he had not kidnapped his wife and child.
August 29, 2014
What a brilliant read. 20 years after being shocked by Betty's story it was great to read the husband's story and realise that there are indeed two sides to any story. This is a must read!
May 18, 2020
I had read in succession: NOT without my Daughter, My Name is Mahtob and this then was recommended.
It was exactly what I thought - propaganda and war details, of which he had been obsessed with. It showed a man who seems to have been YELLING his view, speaking evil of Betty and acting as though all he wanted in life was to be with Mahtob.
His story didn't even make sense chronologically IF it were read on it's own. I skimmed through the long drawn out parts, found it interesting and very very sad the way it all ended. BUT - he did fit a troubler abuser profile smack on.
Perhaps worth the read, but only if it's free (which it was for me in the lending library) and then interesting to read after the other two. Interesting to see how he actually either believed his lie, OR was forced to write it to defend his country. I do not believe he loved his daughter in a true parental love, even after reading his "side".
Also - the grammar and dreadful way he represented Betty's family was slanderous and hard to read.
It was exactly what I thought - propaganda and war details, of which he had been obsessed with. It showed a man who seems to have been YELLING his view, speaking evil of Betty and acting as though all he wanted in life was to be with Mahtob.
His story didn't even make sense chronologically IF it were read on it's own. I skimmed through the long drawn out parts, found it interesting and very very sad the way it all ended. BUT - he did fit a troubler abuser profile smack on.
Perhaps worth the read, but only if it's free (which it was for me in the lending library) and then interesting to read after the other two. Interesting to see how he actually either believed his lie, OR was forced to write it to defend his country. I do not believe he loved his daughter in a true parental love, even after reading his "side".
Also - the grammar and dreadful way he represented Betty's family was slanderous and hard to read.
January 2, 2015
Hmmm, now who do I believe????
July 13, 2025
“Lost Without My Daughter” was written by Sayed Mahmoody, the villainous husband from the book and Hollywood movie “Not Without My Daughter.” It was both fascinating and sickening to read his justifications and retelling of how he held his wife and daughter captive in Iran.
Honestly, I chose this book out of a morbid curiosity. I wanted to know how he reacted to his wife’s escape, and how the 12 million copies of her book and the Hollywood film impacted his life. Did justice ever catch up with him? Was he remorseful? And was there any chance her story had been exaggerated?
The first two chapters gave me what I was looking for. Mahmoody lost his career, was barred from returning to the U.S., and became a global pariah. Even in Iran, he was hunted by the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance for making the country look bad. I felt a grim satisfaction knowing that his world collapsed which mirrored, in some small way, the fear and powerlessness he inflicted on Betty and his daughter.
Yet, ironically and sadly, it was Hollywood’s clumsy, racist portrayal of Betty’s story that gave him an unexpected lifeline. He exploited the film’s inaccuracies to reinvent himself as a spokesperson against Western propaganda, which only further cemented the very ideologies he denied promoting.
Reading this memoir side-by-side with Betty Mahmoody’s “Not Without My Daughter” was ridiculous. His entire book reads like a line-by-line defensive rebuttal. He copied entire paragraphs and argued even the smallest, most insignificant details. If Betty described the shape of someone's nose, that detail was also included in his book and oppositional. If she said a vehicle was old, he stated it was in perfect condition, and if she mentioned taking an aspirin, he said it was a tranquilizer. There’s no way he remembered these specifics nearly thirty years later. It’s clear he used her book as a framework to retell the story with her trauma minimized.
It was also a stretch for him to claim he was a loving, gentle husband and father. The only affection he seemed to show to his daughter Mahtob seemed to be exaggerated. He repeated a story about building a snowman with her four times. It seemed like he was struggling to pull from meaningful memories to prove his affection for them.
The lowest point came when he claimed he was too short and Betty was too heavy for him to have abused her. What a disgusting cheap shot. Yet the most absurd claim was that Betty masterminded the whole ordeal just to steal his money. According to him, she purposely lured him to Iran, a war-torn country where women had no rights, where she couldn’t leave the house without him, where she had no access to an embassy, and had no her custody of her daughter. Then there she waited for his green card to expire, stole his passport, found smugglers, scaled a mountain range with a five year old, just to reach the United States and rob him of his fortune. It’s an insane stretch for a spy thriller, let alone a woman he constantly described as impulsive and emotionally unstable. His logic collapses under the weight of its own contradictions.
He barely details his attempts to find his wife and daughter. After claiming to be "devastated," he spends one afternoon searching, never calls authorities, and then transitions to several chapters of his heroism as a doctor and soldier.
He also uses the book to air every dirty detail of their marriage with venomous bitterness. His portrayal of Betty as psychotic, abusive, and unfit was hard to stomach. I wonder if she could have sued him for libel. Although the truth is likely so distorted on both sides that no legal case would stick.
Overall, the purpose of the book seemed to be defending Iran and promoting nationalism rather than expressing grief over losing his family. I wonder if the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance helped him write his memoir.
In the end, “Lost Without My Daughter” left me emotionally drained and deeply disgusted. It’s a self-serving memoir, filled with propaganda, recycled scenes, and a manipulative plea for his daughter’s forgiveness tacked on at the end. I don’t regret reading it, but I hated supporting it. I was hoping to learn of his suffering consequences, and to see the downfall of a man I found vile. I guess I should have stopped reading at chapter two, when it seemed his life was unraveling. I plan to read Mahtob's memoir, but only after I read something uplifting.
Honestly, I chose this book out of a morbid curiosity. I wanted to know how he reacted to his wife’s escape, and how the 12 million copies of her book and the Hollywood film impacted his life. Did justice ever catch up with him? Was he remorseful? And was there any chance her story had been exaggerated?
The first two chapters gave me what I was looking for. Mahmoody lost his career, was barred from returning to the U.S., and became a global pariah. Even in Iran, he was hunted by the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance for making the country look bad. I felt a grim satisfaction knowing that his world collapsed which mirrored, in some small way, the fear and powerlessness he inflicted on Betty and his daughter.
Yet, ironically and sadly, it was Hollywood’s clumsy, racist portrayal of Betty’s story that gave him an unexpected lifeline. He exploited the film’s inaccuracies to reinvent himself as a spokesperson against Western propaganda, which only further cemented the very ideologies he denied promoting.
Reading this memoir side-by-side with Betty Mahmoody’s “Not Without My Daughter” was ridiculous. His entire book reads like a line-by-line defensive rebuttal. He copied entire paragraphs and argued even the smallest, most insignificant details. If Betty described the shape of someone's nose, that detail was also included in his book and oppositional. If she said a vehicle was old, he stated it was in perfect condition, and if she mentioned taking an aspirin, he said it was a tranquilizer. There’s no way he remembered these specifics nearly thirty years later. It’s clear he used her book as a framework to retell the story with her trauma minimized.
It was also a stretch for him to claim he was a loving, gentle husband and father. The only affection he seemed to show to his daughter Mahtob seemed to be exaggerated. He repeated a story about building a snowman with her four times. It seemed like he was struggling to pull from meaningful memories to prove his affection for them.
The lowest point came when he claimed he was too short and Betty was too heavy for him to have abused her. What a disgusting cheap shot. Yet the most absurd claim was that Betty masterminded the whole ordeal just to steal his money. According to him, she purposely lured him to Iran, a war-torn country where women had no rights, where she couldn’t leave the house without him, where she had no access to an embassy, and had no her custody of her daughter. Then there she waited for his green card to expire, stole his passport, found smugglers, scaled a mountain range with a five year old, just to reach the United States and rob him of his fortune. It’s an insane stretch for a spy thriller, let alone a woman he constantly described as impulsive and emotionally unstable. His logic collapses under the weight of its own contradictions.
He barely details his attempts to find his wife and daughter. After claiming to be "devastated," he spends one afternoon searching, never calls authorities, and then transitions to several chapters of his heroism as a doctor and soldier.
He also uses the book to air every dirty detail of their marriage with venomous bitterness. His portrayal of Betty as psychotic, abusive, and unfit was hard to stomach. I wonder if she could have sued him for libel. Although the truth is likely so distorted on both sides that no legal case would stick.
Overall, the purpose of the book seemed to be defending Iran and promoting nationalism rather than expressing grief over losing his family. I wonder if the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance helped him write his memoir.
In the end, “Lost Without My Daughter” left me emotionally drained and deeply disgusted. It’s a self-serving memoir, filled with propaganda, recycled scenes, and a manipulative plea for his daughter’s forgiveness tacked on at the end. I don’t regret reading it, but I hated supporting it. I was hoping to learn of his suffering consequences, and to see the downfall of a man I found vile. I guess I should have stopped reading at chapter two, when it seemed his life was unraveling. I plan to read Mahtob's memoir, but only after I read something uplifting.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 21, 2014
Absolutely fascinating! I didn't read or watch the movie of "not without my daughter" written by his wife. But this certainly shows the other side of the story. It also reveals a lot about life in Iran. A very good reminder not to make assumptions about people or about a culture. Very sad that Mahmody never did achieve justice or get to see his daughter again.
Want to read
May 26, 2016I only got to read a sample.it all started with one of those "where are they now?" Moments. (Betty and Mahtob) That's how I found about Dr. Mahmoody's book. I was curious. What little I read didn't surprise me. Caught in a nightmare of his own making, of course he's not going to incriminate himself. I would still like to read the rest of his book.
September 5, 2017
The other side of things. So much to contradict his wife's book.
Too much about the war.
Needs some editing.
Too much about the war.
Needs some editing.
Read
July 3, 2020I purchased the book hoping to read his story in regard to his wife's Book "Not without my daughter".
His book was not a good representation of his side of the story. It did however, give the reader a look into the war that was going on.
He also flat out denied any and all allegations that Betty made against himself and his family.
I my option, for my taste, I found it to be a disappointing read .
His book was not a good representation of his side of the story. It did however, give the reader a look into the war that was going on.
He also flat out denied any and all allegations that Betty made against himself and his family.
I my option, for my taste, I found it to be a disappointing read .
July 12, 2017
It's very difficult to read at times - not because of the language or narration style, but because of the cruelties that he immaculately described. This is not to judge who was right or he said versus she said. As a book, this one has an edge over another one that talks about Iran but has a Saudi woman on its cover.
March 31, 2021
Heartbreaking
I certainly am compelled to believe Moody's side. it breaks my heart that he never saw his daughter again and that she never even tried to pick up the phone. All in all, this was a better written book than both mahtob and Betty's put together. There was minimal grammar mistakes however the jumping back and forth in time was confusing to keep up with.
I certainly am compelled to believe Moody's side. it breaks my heart that he never saw his daughter again and that she never even tried to pick up the phone. All in all, this was a better written book than both mahtob and Betty's put together. There was minimal grammar mistakes however the jumping back and forth in time was confusing to keep up with.
August 31, 2021
I can agree that objectively, this book did make me wonder about people in the US being subjected to anti Iranian sentiments that might not be true.. Moody certainly didn't do himself any favors in how he authored this book.
It's quite hard to read both grammatically and chronologically, and it's tough to believe his staunch denial of absolutely everything that Betty states (which Mahtob backs up in her book), because he is very vague and contradictory. Having dealt with chronic narcissism In my immediate family, I can say that Moody does fit the bill on that unfortunately.
I first read Not Without My Daughter earlier this year, followed by My Name Is Mahtob a month or so ago. Reading her perspective as a child, then a analytical reflections and developments as she got older was refreshing and clarifying.. I recommend it to anybody who thinks that Betty's book is prejudice and overdramatic.
1/5 for me. I really was curious about Moody's side for sure and what it might bring to light, but I don't buy that he was a devoted and authentically loving father.
It's quite hard to read both grammatically and chronologically, and it's tough to believe his staunch denial of absolutely everything that Betty states (which Mahtob backs up in her book), because he is very vague and contradictory. Having dealt with chronic narcissism In my immediate family, I can say that Moody does fit the bill on that unfortunately.
I first read Not Without My Daughter earlier this year, followed by My Name Is Mahtob a month or so ago. Reading her perspective as a child, then a analytical reflections and developments as she got older was refreshing and clarifying.. I recommend it to anybody who thinks that Betty's book is prejudice and overdramatic.
1/5 for me. I really was curious about Moody's side for sure and what it might bring to light, but I don't buy that he was a devoted and authentically loving father.
September 25, 2023
I’m annoyed because my review was deleted so this will be much shorter.
Sayed Mahmoody had me for a second. I thought, wow he found a woman who had lost her marbles and really pulled an elaborate scheme. But has he continued his commentary of war, his bashing of Betty, and his please to Mahtob I found myself seeing the gas lighting and attempt to unsmear his name.
This books was disjointed, and had so many minor grammar errors (capitals, spelling). And the consistent inserting of the different Iranian political movements and wars was irritating!
I read “Not Without my Daughter” in 2016 I came to revisit in the hopes that he would add something. Now I feel I should run quickly to read “I am Mahtob” because I want to see what she has to say about all of these things between her parents.
Sayed Mahmoody had me for a second. I thought, wow he found a woman who had lost her marbles and really pulled an elaborate scheme. But has he continued his commentary of war, his bashing of Betty, and his please to Mahtob I found myself seeing the gas lighting and attempt to unsmear his name.
This books was disjointed, and had so many minor grammar errors (capitals, spelling). And the consistent inserting of the different Iranian political movements and wars was irritating!
I read “Not Without my Daughter” in 2016 I came to revisit in the hopes that he would add something. Now I feel I should run quickly to read “I am Mahtob” because I want to see what she has to say about all of these things between her parents.
April 10, 2025
sad story good historical information
I decided to read this book after watching the movie. When I was watching the movie from the perspective of 2025 I saw how they portrayed the Iranian people and I could see the racism. I do think this story offered another perspective. I find the entire story quite a tragedy that touched many peoples lives and will have an effect for several generations.
I decided to read this book after watching the movie. When I was watching the movie from the perspective of 2025 I saw how they portrayed the Iranian people and I could see the racism. I do think this story offered another perspective. I find the entire story quite a tragedy that touched many peoples lives and will have an effect for several generations.
March 31, 2021
4.5 Stars I was happy to have found this book on Kindle unlimited. I have been wanting to read it for some time after reading his daughter and of course Betty's books.There was a few grammar issues but my biggest complaint about the book is that the time period switching back and forth was very hard to keep up with. Other than that it was a fantastic book.
September 24, 2024
Hard to believe
I watched the movie and read Mahtob’s book and decided to read what Moody had to say. Right away it seemed unbelievable. Seems like he was twisting the story and lying to make himself look better.
There were a lot of facts about Iran that belonged in another book. The premise of the book was to refute what Betty and Mahtob had to say.
I did feel a little sorry for him at the end of the book but I still didn’t believe him.
His editor could have done a better job. There were misspelled words, missing words and words/terms used incorrectly.
I watched the movie and read Mahtob’s book and decided to read what Moody had to say. Right away it seemed unbelievable. Seems like he was twisting the story and lying to make himself look better.
There were a lot of facts about Iran that belonged in another book. The premise of the book was to refute what Betty and Mahtob had to say.
I did feel a little sorry for him at the end of the book but I still didn’t believe him.
His editor could have done a better job. There were misspelled words, missing words and words/terms used incorrectly.
December 24, 2020
5 stars for sincerity and ability to talk about things which are really hard to talk about.
But here goes a bit of explanation and introduction of another book/film.
In 2003 I was going from Russia to my fiancée in Iran, planning marriage (well, we are successfully married till now). A night before my flight Russian Tv for some reason was showing “Not Without My Daughter”, that rather scandalous film about Betty Mahmoody and her and her daughter’s tragical story: for years she and her Iranian husband lived in USA and the minute they came to Iran to see his family, he turns into bloodthirsty monster, beats her and the girl, and so she has to escape through mountains of Turkey. Lies upon lies and lots of propaganda. Even though I saw the film before my first visit to Iran, I could smell that something is very wrong with it. Ah, did I mention, that the same night my every relative and friend called me to “warn” about Iranian horrors and May be to change my decision?
I went to Iran, became completely sure that the book and the film are nonsense. So much so that it’s even not polite to mention it before Iranians. Like, say, stories about brown bears playing in the middle of a Red Square and dining on unfortunate tourists.
I forgot about it for years. I wonder why it never came to me: what about the opinion of the other side? Of that very Iranian father, who definitely was not a monster, and who in the end stayed in Iran, without his family?
Fortunately for us all, he wrote his own account of events. Very balanced and that definitely was very hard. I spent in Iran 5 years, before we moved to Russia - and his description of the country is true and realistic. Moreover, he is not making an angel of himself. And he specially mentions potential multicultural barries in east-west family and certain concepts which westerners are unaware of.
All these years I saw Betty Mahmoudi as simply a foolish woman, who went to another country without knowing anything about the culture and laws of that country. But now I see her as a criminal. She took away loving father from her daughter. And nothing can be done anymore. The other of this book, Dr. Mahmoody, died in Tehran in 2009, in the age of 70. He never met his daughter again.
But here goes a bit of explanation and introduction of another book/film.
In 2003 I was going from Russia to my fiancée in Iran, planning marriage (well, we are successfully married till now). A night before my flight Russian Tv for some reason was showing “Not Without My Daughter”, that rather scandalous film about Betty Mahmoody and her and her daughter’s tragical story: for years she and her Iranian husband lived in USA and the minute they came to Iran to see his family, he turns into bloodthirsty monster, beats her and the girl, and so she has to escape through mountains of Turkey. Lies upon lies and lots of propaganda. Even though I saw the film before my first visit to Iran, I could smell that something is very wrong with it. Ah, did I mention, that the same night my every relative and friend called me to “warn” about Iranian horrors and May be to change my decision?
I went to Iran, became completely sure that the book and the film are nonsense. So much so that it’s even not polite to mention it before Iranians. Like, say, stories about brown bears playing in the middle of a Red Square and dining on unfortunate tourists.
I forgot about it for years. I wonder why it never came to me: what about the opinion of the other side? Of that very Iranian father, who definitely was not a monster, and who in the end stayed in Iran, without his family?
Fortunately for us all, he wrote his own account of events. Very balanced and that definitely was very hard. I spent in Iran 5 years, before we moved to Russia - and his description of the country is true and realistic. Moreover, he is not making an angel of himself. And he specially mentions potential multicultural barries in east-west family and certain concepts which westerners are unaware of.
All these years I saw Betty Mahmoudi as simply a foolish woman, who went to another country without knowing anything about the culture and laws of that country. But now I see her as a criminal. She took away loving father from her daughter. And nothing can be done anymore. The other of this book, Dr. Mahmoody, died in Tehran in 2009, in the age of 70. He never met his daughter again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 15, 2025
It’s nice to always view all sides of the story, I read Betty’s book , however this is written with vengeance! He proceeds to give account of a Women living in Iran through the eyes of Man, now that’s ridiculous!
July 15, 2022
Didn't finish reading but wasn't sure I believed it given what I have read from the other perspective.
December 3, 2022
Dr. Mahmoody
Luego de leerlo me he quedado triste. Siento tanta honestidad en sus palabras... Le deseo que descanse en paz.😢
Me gustó leerlo.
Luego de leerlo me he quedado triste. Siento tanta honestidad en sus palabras... Le deseo que descanse en paz.😢
Me gustó leerlo.
May 6, 2024
I’d recommend reading all 3 books - the one by Betty, the one by her daughter and this one. And then I’d love someone to discuss them with 😊
February 7, 2025
Rather than facing the truth he gave us a history lesson
January 9, 2021
Reqding it in 2021! It is good to hear the other side of the story ... now , really , who to believe....
February 5, 2022
Propaganda.
May 15, 2025
To me, this book wasn't written well, but I still read the whole thing. I read the ones by Betty & Mahtob, so I felt I should at least give this one a try. It may be that his first language is Farsi, but the context of the book was a bit hard to follow at times. He didn't really defend himself, but instead focused on the war in Iran, cultural beliefs & religion. I felt he was trying to disparage all Betty & Mahtob claimed in their books, but really it just kind of solidified for me that they were telling the truth. I don't believe she should have ever agreed to travel to Iran, especially during such a time of turmoil & war.
April 9, 2018
I now wonder who to believe! It is interesting what we can learn about others through their spouse or ex spouse. There are two sides to each story in all kinds of rapport, friendship, and relationships.
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