Dancing in My Nightgown: The Rhythms of Widowhood

by Betty Auchard

Married when she was barely 19, Betty Auchard went straight from her parents' home to her husband's bed. She raised four children, returned to college, taught art in the public school system, and became a grandmother, a published artist, a retiree, and then a widow. When she loses her husband of almost 49 years to cancer, widowhood forces Betty to find out what she can do on her own. She has a lot to learn, having never been single before. She was not freeway literate, nor had she ever used a computer. And she had never paid the bills by herself. Facing her new responsibilities, this septuagenarian makes all kinds of mistakes. These short, upbeat, inspiring stories tell us how this spunky woman got through widowhood-she decides to dance instead of sitting on the sidelines.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief

140 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Erin]

I read the first 20 pages on Google Docs and was hooked.

[John Jeng · Rating 5 out of 5]

Betty was widowed at 68 after her husband of nearly 49 years passed away from cancer. This book is about how Betty learned to take care of herself after the bereavement. My favorite vignette was the one about the car registration sticker. Betty learned of it from her high school grandson and was cited for not having the sticker on her license plate four years later. That was hilarious! My second favorite vignette was about her late-husband Denny's backseat driving. She even noticed all the furtive cues her husband tried to disguise in response to Betty's driving errors.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Dancing in my Nightgown" is a book that I have rated 2 stars ("It was OK"), written by an author, Betty Auchard, whose storytelling and writing style, I would rate between 3 stars ("I liked it") and 4 stars ("I really liked it".) I also find Betty's "metastory" of finding a new life and a writing career, following her experience of widowhood, to be inspiring and encouraging. I have just added Ms. Auchard's second book, "The Home for the Friendless" to my reading list; I am interested in reading that book.
I read "Dancing in My Nightgown" as a group read for my church's reading group; we checked out the book as a book club kit from our local library. I don't believe this independently published book is very widely known yet (only 13 ratings in Goodreads at the time I am writing this review); I believe the reason that my library has it as a club kit might be because Ms. Auchard lived in this area as a child. My rating of the book may be influenced by the fact that my reason for reading it was rather "random" (as a group read for a group that reads all kinds of books), rather than arising from a particular interest in the subject matter at this time.
Reasons that I found this particular book just "OK", even though I think the author is a good storyteller and writer: The book comes across as a collection of anecdotes; and to me they seem better suited to a column or blog, or as stories told to audiences for speaking engagements, than they do to a book where one might expect a more unified narrative. The individual stories: most were good, although I felt that a few of them had material that I found rather embarrassing knowing that these were true stories about the author, her deceased husband, or people of her acquaintance. Some things that I wouldn't have a problem with in a novel seemed like 'too much information" when I know that they are written about actual people.
If I were to look upon this book as a helpful resource depicting a journey back into the world following widowhood, I'd say that it leans a bit too much toward the 'amusing' side; I'd like more emphasis on the chronology; the passage of time; and the steps toward healing during that passage.
I think a rating of "It was OK" is not necessarily bad for a first book. I'd love to see Ms. Auchard write a novel.

[Susanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think the topic - how do women (or men, for that matter) cope after the death of their spouse, how do they reshape their lives to be content in the years to come - is a worthwhile topic to explore. However, there were several things I did not particularly like about this book: It consists of a number of stories, but since they are not in chronological order it is hard to judge the stage of grief in each of them. Also, since the author is a generation older than me I could not quite relate to most of the issues, such as problems with bill paying, handymen, etc. I felt the book spoke definitely more to women of my mother's or even grandmother's generation where the man was the head of household and women had to learn the whole finance side of the family.

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author writes of the craziness, and sadness, that beset her when her husband of 49 years died. Very inspirational.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed it and will probably read it again.

[C.S. Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartening journey of a remarkable woman navigating loss and reinventing of her life. An inspiration to all who find themselves haveing to make the transition.