With: A Practical Approach To Informal Mentoring

by Alvin L. Reid

If you have ever had someone take the time to mentor you, you know this type of relationship takes investment and effort. But how has this relationship paid off in your life? And are you ready to mentor someone yourself?

Author Alvin Reid introduces a specific mentoring strategy in With: A Practical Approach to Informal Mentoring. Emphasizing the kind of mentoring Jesus used, this book models how the best learning comes not from simply listening to a leader, but spending time with one.

Genres: Leadership, Discipleship

43 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

DR. ALVIN L. REID, best known for his student-given nickname “Doc,” has been a professor for over 20 years, over 17 of them spent at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

He has written over a dozen books, most on subjects like evangelism, spiritual awakenings, missional Christianity, and student ministry, and has taught young leaders on four continents and on scores of college campuses from the University of North Carolina to Harvard.

Reviews

[Glen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here is an excellent overview of the church's most critical ministry...making disciples.

The authors have provided a guide that focuses specifically on the relational dynamics in discipleship rather than the content-driven models that often proliferate. Their principles are easy to follow and assimilate into daily life. Furthermore, they write in a voice that is descriptive (i.e., not proscriptive) thus allowing the reader to glean key principles and naturally apply them to his/her ministry.

What I appreciated most in this work was: 1) it is thoroughly biblical and Christ-centric. 2) It exudes a humility that is befitting ministers of the gospel. 3) The principles are full of wisdom without being pedantic. 4) Application is emphasized (there are questions at the end of each section to help the reader process deeper). 5) The writers cite other key voices in the church (notably Robert Coleman). 6) There is a genuine upbeat tone that makes the task both desirable and doable. 7) They remain true to their desire for balance between formal and informal discipleship.

Throughout the book you are given insights on what makes someone a good mentor. Sound principles are expounded on the equilibrium between being a voice of wisdom and avoiding the trap of unhealthy dependency. Furthermore, strong arguments are given for why discipleship must be both selective and highly relational.

Any gospel worker can find helpful tips from this book and those desiring to delve deeper into the subject matter will find depth. The concepts presented are clear and forceful. The message is compelling. Lastly, given the acute shortage of true discipleship in the modern church, this read is a valuable resource for we who take the Great Commission ("Go into all the world and make disciples") as personally binding.

[Aaron Loy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I'm venturing back into mentoring myself, I recently looked for a well-reviewed book on the subject and "With" caught my eye on a simple Amazon search. After finishing the book, I must admit that much of it didn't provide much "new" information for me, but was good nonetheless. The main premise is that informal mentoring is vital to raising up believers in the church. The part that WAS new to me was the idea of mentoring being informal. Although most of my previous mentoring relationships have been informal, I appreciated the idea of "doing life" together as the main dynamic of the relationship. For example, the authors describe this time as bringing along your mentees to things you are ALREADY doing (errands, chores, traveling, etc.). I also liked that the authors wisely didn't prescribe what a gathering looks like specifically, leaving room for the mentor and mentee to discern what is best for their relationship.

My main criticism of the book is that having two authors seemed distracting, as much of the writing includes anecdote after anecdote. I believe the book would have been more cohesive if there were only one author. Additionally, some of the points made are repeated a little too much. Overall, I would recommend this book to someone who is new to mentoring, but might not be as useful to someone who has much experience with the subject.

FAVORITE PASSAGE:

Your protégé desperately needs three things from you: 1. A vision as big as the gospel—helping him live for God’s glory. 2. Encouragement—by word and example, through praise and rebuke. 3. Permission—provide opportunities to follow Christ passionately and personally.

[Andrew Ivester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Discipleship and mentoring have gained much traction in recent years, and for good reason; it is what we are called to do as believers. Reid and Robinson are primary examples of disciple-makers, and this book lays out some helps and guidelines for mentoring without giving a cut and paste model. As the authors say, they want the reader to take these principles and apply them to their own context rather than to take one approach and force it into every context. This is not an exhaustive guide by any means, but there may not be a better starting point for mentoring than this book, which makes this a necessary book for many of us.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

“With-ness” as core factor to mentoring effectiveness

This book, though written by ministers for ministers, will be very influential in the lives of every Christian’s life as we all are, in the end, both a mentee and a mentor. The topics and suggestions within these pages will serve to influence and encourage both mentors and mentees to the end of their physical lives. Definitely worth the investment of your time.

[Joe Valenti · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was obviously a rather long read for me - it took an entire year for me to get through it. This was not because it was a long or specifically difficult. It sat by my bed and I picked it up every once in a while largely because it didn’t keep my attention very well. The ideas were fine, but I’m not sure the authors put forward anything that was uniquely new (which would warrant the writing of a book on the subject).

[Jack Wilkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice short read with good insights and good motivation to get started. I like the emphasis on the informal. Just center your life on God and invite people to be part of it day in and day out.

[Benjie Shaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent introduction to the concept of informal mentoring. Lots of practical tips and good examples of how the authors have practiced the process of informal mentoring.

[Dustin Morrow · Rating 2 out of 5]

The whole book could be summed up with hang out with people.

[Elaine H. Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good guide to mentoring.

[KC McCauley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short e-book can be summarized by a statement the author quotes, "I almost never go anywhere by myself. I constantly take people with me--those I seek to disciple, to mentor, to experience life." Reid writes, "Simply involving individuals I seek to mentor in the regular aspects of life has proven to be my most effective form of mentoring." This book gives you practical ideas on how to mentor informally, but it provides the principles for you to get creative and mentor in your own unique way--whether it's at the gym, doing yard work, going on long-distance trips, running errands, or eating meals together. After reading this book, I decided to take some students out to breakfast before they go to school, and this has proven to be an effective time for mentoring. I've also been more mindful to take students with me to places that I would normally go by myself.

This is a short, great book! Read it!

[Michael Manuel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some times we probably make discipleship too hard. WITH reminds us that it's often in the informal times of doing life together that our lives often make the most impact. This is a simple read that you can probably read in a day or two. I recommend it.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

A simple, practical walk through of the way one man lives out discipleship. I appreciated the follow up questions after each chapter to assist with application.

[Eric Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very practical and vision casting at the same time regarding how do you influence the lives of other Christians around you. Brief and easy to read.

[Daniel H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having seen this in action it is an excellent approach.

[Tyler Recker]

Excellent practical wisdom.

[Carlyn Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Profound in that something that everybody knows we should do and is the very basis for discipleship, it still manages to challenge what is really happening in my own life.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book that could've been about two chapters shorter. Redundancy is definitely how this book gets its main point across. However, if more churches had the mindset of this book, the church would be in a better place today.