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Black Christmas

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Excellent Book

282 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1983

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518 people want to read

About the author

Thomas Altman

16 books11 followers
Pseudonym for Campbell Armstrong. Other pseudonyms are Campbell Black and Jeffrey Campbell. He also wrote books under his real name. Campbell Armstrong was born in Glasgow. He has a degree in philosophy from the University of Sussex. He taught creative writing from 1971-74 at the State University of New York; from 1975-78 he taught at Arizona State University.

He disliked teaching immensely so, in 1978, he began to write fiction fulltime; he had already published Assassins & Victims (1968); The Punctual Rape (1969) and Death’s Head (1971). In 1979, after he quit the academic life, he published Asterisk Destiny, and the following year Brainfire.

He remained in Arizona until 1991, during which time he wrote the novelization of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Brian De Palma’s Dressed To Kill. He also wrote the novels Jig, Mambo and Mazurka, between 1986 and 1989. In 1990 he published Concert of Ghosts, and in 1991 his novel of corrupt American influence in the Philippines, Agents of Darkness.

After 20 years in the US, he longed to return to Europe. Early in 1991 he moved to Ireland, to the heart of the bog, with his wife Rebecca. He has since written Jigsaw, Heat, Silencer and Blackout. He also published a memoir called I Hope You Have A Good Life (2000).
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He has three sons and a daughter, and lives in an old house reputed to be haunted.

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5 stars
45 (31%)
4 stars
38 (26%)
3 stars
47 (33%)
2 stars
9 (6%)
1 star
3 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
Profile Image for Sarah ♡ (let’s interact!).
717 reviews329 followers
January 3, 2024
Known as ”the other Black Christmas” amongst the horror community, this novel penned by Thomas Altman isn’t related to the classic 1974 movie. A lot of people picked this up thinking it was the rare novelisation of the film, only to find out it was another rare story instead. I really enjoyed the writing here, it felt as though I’d found a hidden gem. Picking up a physical copy with the original cover would have set me back over £100, so I borrowed it from the Internet Archive.
It’s more of a crime, police-procedural, story but with the slasher horror elements too. The gory violence is hard hitting in this writing style. It holds up against the movie it shares its moniker with.

Black Christmas centres around an apparent serial killer of young women after a spate of gruesome killings. The narrative isn’t just told from the perspective of the main character, Sheriff Bud Dunsmore, but also from the victims before they meet their maker. But who is the killer? The main suspects are; retired boxer Frank Cutter, the town outcast Billy Cole and violent ex-con Dan Hamilton. Dunsmore is already harbouring a secret when it comes to Hamilton, he is having an affair with his ex-wife, Alice.
Lots of drama and lots of gory killings ensues, as the race is on to find the killer amongst the small population of Murdock.

”The keys, the keys. Off with her head.
The Queen. Of course, of course.
Off with her—
Down the rabbit hole. The Mad Hatter. The Tea Party.
The Mock Turtle.
He remembered. The Executioner.
Alice in Wonderland.
The Executioner, Off with her head.
Frantic, he seized the keys from the kitchen table and, breathless, his heart beating savagely inside his chest, he ran out of the house a second time.
He had to be wrong.
He just had to be totally wrong.”


5 Stars
Profile Image for Warren Fournier.
843 reviews170 followers
December 3, 2024
The 1974 "Black Christmas" film has a novelization written by Lee Hayes. This book isn't it!

The classic movie of the same name is considered by some to be the first true "slasher". It is also often called the prototypical "Christmas horror," a popular term these days, though I consider that honor to go to "Silent Night, Bloody Night" from 1972. This version of "Black Christmas" I am reviewing today is, on the other hand, derivative of those early deconstructions of the festive holiday spirit. The story is an unrelated 1983 paperback from hell that has been getting some notoriety among horror fans, and affordable copies are becoming hard to find. But is the recent popularity of this book predicate on its title alone, or is it worth reading for its own merits?

Well, if you ARE a fan of the film, let's start with the similarities. I know I said they are unrelated, but it doesn't mean the two stories don't share any kind of kinship. Both are classic slashers set during the winter holidays. Both have tons of Christmas atmosphere, and in fact, I would say this book has the film beat. Both feature a deranged killer murdering young women in a small town. Both feature a deeply disturbed suspect named "Billy". And both feature Nancy's dad.

Okay, I should clarify that last point. In the movie, John Saxon plays the police lieutenant in charge of investigating the murders, and he is best known for playing the dad of the main character from "A Nightmare on Elm Street," Nancy. We horror fans like to just call him Nancy's dad. In this book, the main protagonist is the local sheriff who has a daughter named Nancy. So he's literally Nancy's dad.

But his real name is Bud. Yep. Bud. I'm surprised his name wasn't Bob, since so many paperbacks from this era have a main character named Bob. And Bud certainly has the personality of a typical Bob from horror paperbacks. So we'll just call him "Bub."

Anyway, the main premise is that Bub is the sheriff of a boring but safe little town. He hardly has anything to do. That is, until someone hacks up a local teenager with an ax in the woods. I should point out that Bub was not a happy camper to start with. He's working a dead-end job in a dead-end town, and his marriage is at a dead-end too. He does everything he can to avoid his wife, who is definitely no ray of sunshine. But little wonder she's cranky--Bub's having an affair with a younger woman, and all the gossips in town know it. His boss, Mayor Jimmy the Greek, is a pain too. So when more people turn up dead, the pressure may be too much for Bub. And worse, the only thing precious in his life, his sci-fi nerd daughter Nancy, could be the next victim, because the misogynist killer seems to have a vendetta against Bub.

The prose is hard-boiled and cynical, written more like a detective noir, and full of vintage callbacks to life in the Eighties. Everyone smoking in places of business and drinking on the job. Payphones. Pocket calculators with mini paper printouts. Circular Formica tabletops. Howard Johnson motels. Cloris Leachman making a guest appearance on Johnny Carson. And when Bub is surprised that his mistress hasn't heard the news about the first murder, his response is, "How could you not know? Don't you listen to the RADIO?" I love that.

If you're looking for a book that truly has that winter spirit to put you in the mood to curl up in your jammies, this is it. You'll be thankful you're snug and warm, because every page is an icy blast. The streets with four-foot snow drifts. The wind stinging bare cheeks and cutting through multiple layers of flannel. Christmas lights twinkling faintly through the static of a blizzard. Fingers going numb inside wet gloves. The sound of snowplows clearing out driveways and ice being scraped off windshields. That ancient hibernation instinct and lack of vitamin D making all the characters feel sluggish without some hot coffee percolating in their system. Yeah, that kind of stuff. While I was reading this, I remembered I needed to go outside and bring the garbage cans back from the curb, but this book made me reluctant to trudge out in the cold so I just said to hell with it. HOA be damned.

But horror fans want to know about the scares. Well, I can't say it's that scary, and it's only mildly suspensefull. As I said, it's more like a gritty noir. It does get very violent, though. When the killer strikes, it isn't pretty. Dense and gratuitous descriptions of gore abound. It's not quite to splatterpunk levels, but authors like Sean Hutson would be proud. So would Art the Clown.

My main complaint is that the momentum suffers from the author wishing he was writing a Sam Spade story instead of a slasher. He constantly has Bub drifting off into his own maudlin, tough-guy thoughts, and Bub has rarely anything new to add. He's mostly repeating material we've already read about ten times or ruminating over the same old cynicism. I imagine you wouldn't want to be drinking buddies with Bub, because he's definitely one of those glass-half-empty kind of guys. Sometimes his tangents get extremely absurd to the point of unintended comedy. He could be grilling a suspect, and then begin wondering when was the last time he listened to Christmas carols. The point is that this is a rather amateurish attempt to fluff out a simple story. You can skip most of these pseudo-deep thoughts and still get the gist of his personality, comprehend the emotional impact of a scene, and not miss a beat of the plot. But this also means the book is at least a third longer than it needs to be, and it isn't very long in the first place.

In fact, the book could be even shorter, because the author could have cut out all the repetitive scenes of Bub getting badgered by the mayor or the local news reporter for answers he doesn't have. We don't need twenty different protracted versions of:

"Damn it, sheriff, what's going on in this town? Don't you have any suspects?"

"No."

And speaking of which, just what is Bub doing to solve the crime? Not much. The author keeps telling us he's working long hours, like he's hot on the case. But he really is just sitting at his desk in City Hall moping, or pacing around while stewing in his own bile, or taking a few nips from his whiskey flask, or stopping by his lover's place for a quickie. Why he and his deputies aren't patroling the town to look for anything suspicious is beyond me. It's not like there's a lot of ground to cover. Not only that, Bub has some reasonable suspects and some clear potential victims, but does he post any stakeouts or guard details? Nope, not Bub.. The author seems to forget that if you're going to write a police procedural, you should maybe have the cops doing some--you know--actual police work.

The final verdict? It's a very enjoyable quick read, full of carnage candy, and with a mystery that slasher fans will likely solve long before the last act. It's got many flaws, but most people interested in this title will be used to all its pulpy foibles and find them even charming. So I would say that if you are a fan of vintage mass market horror paperbacks or thrillers and are looking for a quick fix of "Christmas horror" for the holidays, this Bud's for you.

SCORE: 3 completely ineffective sheriffs out of 5
Profile Image for Grady Hendrix.
Author 65 books35.5k followers
March 14, 2015
Black Christmas shares a title with the original North American slasher movie, Black Christmas (1974), directed by Bob Clark (director of Porky’s and A Christmas Story) which had been novelized in 1976. However, this book by Thomas Altman (pseudonym of Campbell Armstrong, who wrote the novelizations of Dressed to Kill and Raiders of the Lost Ark) has nothing to do with the film besides a Christmas setting and a focus on young women getting murdered. Set in the upstate New York town of Murdock, a little burg of about 7,000 souls, this book is an icky but sweet little yuletide treat, that manages to read like an actual novel and not a novel-like object that is secretly a synopsis of a screenplay that some writer just pulled out of their bottom drawer.

And that's a good thing! Find out why when you read the rest of this review.
Profile Image for Alex (The Bookubus).
449 reviews557 followers
January 1, 2020
There is a killer targeting young women in the snowy town of Murdoch during the run up to Christmas.

I really enjoyed this one and it was the perfect read for the Christmas season! I thought the author did an excellent job with the potential suspects and red herrings. I really enjoyed his writing overall and how the story moves around from character to character. I did guess the killer probably earlier than I should have but I still really liked where the story went and how it ended.
Profile Image for Michael.
1,618 reviews213 followers
November 8, 2022


Altmans BLACK CHRISTMAS ist nicht die Romanvorlage zum gleichnamigen Slasher-Klassiker, wie ich zunächst glaubte, sondern ein Thriller, der Weihnachten in einem kleinen amerikanischen Nest spielt, das von einem Blizzard heimgesucht wird. Hier werden drei junge Frauen getötet und der Sheriff, Hauptprotagonist der Story, ist in Sachen Mordermittlungen nicht die hellste Kerze auf der Torte.
Die klaustrophobische und düstere Grundstimmung hat mir gut gefallen, auch wenn sich das Buch im letzten Drittel dann ein wenig zog.
Wem der kommerzielle Weihnachtstrubel auf die Nerven geht, mag hier Zuflucht suchen.
Profile Image for Pedro Plasencia Martínez.
232 reviews19 followers
February 9, 2026
No sé si me he pasado un poco con las 4 estrellas, pero el hecho es que es mejor que varios libros que he puntuado con 3, así que debo ser coherente, la nota exacta podría ser un 3,7 fácilmente por el buen equlibrio que existe entre los puntos de vista de los personajes, el terror, el misterio, el romance y el drama. Un sheriff (junto con su mujer, su hija y su amante), un exboxeador, un chico discapacitado y un exmarido maltratador componen la galería principal de actores envueltos en el embrollo, son las voces que hablan en primera persona y que se van turnando capítulo a capítulo. La nieve está muy presente también en la novela durante los atascos, los paseos por el pueblo, las noches de insomnio y también en el momento de los asesinatos. Las chicas que son liquidadas en el libro llegan a contar lo último que sienten antes de que se les apague la vida y a veces es un poco duro de leer, pero eso le da más valor a la obra con respecto a otras, porque aquí las pérdidas se sienten con mucha intensidad.

La investigación policial es correcta, pero muy típica también, prácticamente se pueden prever todos los movimientos y las decisiones que va a tomar el sheriff. En cuanto al psicópata, en la primera mitad del libro da bastante juego sin aparecer apenas, dejando pistas, mensajes o amenazas, pero lamentablemente llega un punto en que también es muy predecible su identidad. El recorrido narrativo va por lo tanto de más a menos y esto se nota especialmente ya a partir del último crimen hasta el final abrupto sin cierre que el autor deja de una manera que calificaría como poco profesional. Lo importante queda desvelado, pero hay varios destinos que se podrían haber solucionado añadiendo un par de párrafos simplemente, no sé en qué estaría pensando el señor Altman cuando dio carpetazo a esta historia después de haberse molestado en tejer tantos hilos conductores.

P. D. Al final he dejado la puntuación en 3 estrellas después de compararla con otras obras similares de suspense y de terror. Creo que la cuarta estrella podría ser válida para los que son muy fans de las tramas ambientadas en festividades y deciden leer el libro en esas fechas, pero si tenemos en cuenta el resto del año lo más correcto es ponerle 3 estrellas.

ENGLISH
I'm not sure if I've been a bit generous with the 4 stars, but the fact is, it's better than several books I've given 3, so I should be consistent. The exact rating could easily be 3.7 because of the excellent balance between the characters' perspectives, the horror, the mystery, the romance, and the drama. A sheriff (along with his wife, his daughter, and his lover), a former boxer, a disabled boy, and an abusive ex-husband make up the main cast of characters caught up in the plot. They are the voices that speak in the first person and alternate chapter by chapter. Snow is also a recurring theme in the novel, appearing during traffic jams, walks through town, sleepless nights, and even at the time of the murders. The girls who are killed in the book get to tell their last feelings before their lives are extinguished, and sometimes it's a little hard to read, but that gives the work more value compared to others, because here the losses are felt with great intensity.

The police investigation is adequate, but also very typical; you can practically predict all the sheriff's moves and decisions. As for the psychopath, he provides ample material for the first half of the book without even appearing much, leaving clues, messages, and threats, but unfortunately, there comes a point where his identity also becomes very predictable. The narrative therefore goes from good to bad, and this is especially noticeable from the last crime onward, culminating in an abrupt, unresolved ending that the author delivers in what I would describe as an unprofessional manner. The important plot points are revealed, but several storylines could have been resolved with just a couple of paragraphs. I don't know what Mr. Altman was thinking when he wrapped up this story after going to the trouble of weaving so many connecting threads.

P.S. I ended up giving it 3 stars after comparing it to other similar suspense and horror books. I think a fourth star might be valid for those who are big fans of holiday-themed stories and decide to read the book during those times, but considering the rest of the year, 3 stars is the most appropriate rating.
Profile Image for Paula Brandon.
1,278 reviews40 followers
December 24, 2020
Sheriff Bud Dunsmore has to deal with a killer in his small town of Murdock. The victims are young females, brutally murdered. Dunsmore is also dealing with a dead marriage to his wife, Eleanor, and the fact the first victim was a friend of his daughter, Nancy. He is feeling pressure from the mayor to solve the murders quickly. Suspects include former boxer, now cafe owner, Frank Tucker, and Dan Hamilton, the ex-husband of Alice, who Dunsmore just happens to be having an extra-marital affair with. And these murders seem to be hitting uncomfortably close to home!

One of the joys I can experience with a pulp 80s horror paperback is the way it can feel like I've just brought home a scary VHS from the video store and can watch it at night with the lights off. That's exactly what I got from this enjoyable Christmas-themed slasher-lite thriller. I paid a bit of money to get hold of this as a little Christmas treat to myself, and it was worth it.

The pacing is consistent, the murders are brutal and gory, and the characters are surprisingly well-drawn. The characters do engage in a little too much internal introspection, sometimes slowing things down, and the identity of the killer is painfully obvious, but I thoroughly enjoyed it all! Atmospheric and suspenseful, with some nice cinematic moments, this is a perfect treat for those who like a bit of terror during their festive period!
Profile Image for Kelly.
313 reviews57 followers
November 29, 2012
Note: I always assumed that the movie Black Christmas was created from this book, but I realized during the first couple of chapters that this was not the case.

Black Christmas takes place in a small town, in a blizzard, during the two days before Christmas, and begins with a teenage girl getting killed with an axe in the woods. More killings will follow as Sheriff Dunsmore searches for the killer and worries about his own teenage daughter and failing marriage. I correctly guessed who the killer was about halfway through the book, and from then on, everything was extremely predictable. I enjoyed the snowy setting, but it didn't have a very Christmasy feeling to it; I would have enjoyed more detailed side stories about Christmas shopping or tree decorating or meal planning or gift wrapping, to set the mood.

There was a certain aspect of the writing that I found awkward and annoying: the 3rd person point of view would often switch to the character thinking to himself and addressing himself as 'you.' Example:
"He picked up his Ovation and played a few chords in an absentminded way. Then he set the guitar down and put his clothes on and tried to stop from yawning. You don't want to see her again. The letter - why hadn't the letter been enough? But you couldn't be an asshole coward and hide behind the safety of two bland pages of handwriting. Face her. You knew you had to."

Not a fantastic book or great writing, but if you don't expect too much, it's a decent, leisurely, mildly entertaining read for the holiday season.

Profile Image for G.
329 reviews
January 7, 2021
So, um, I'm supposed to relate to an MC who is a serial cheater? Whose current shag is about the same age as his teen daughter? Who is constantly daydreaming about kicking his wife and kid to the curb and moving in with his barely-legal girlfriend and her gazillion houseplants? (But oh, what will people say, because:) He's also the local sheriff, for crying out loud?!? Then again, his wife does smell of vitamin E lotion all the time (that constant whiff of almonds! My God!), so what's a guy to do?
I wasn't expecting anything resembling a good book, but really, this was just... meh. It wasn't even fun trash, just mostly boring trash, oscillating between icky and lots and lots of deep, deep thinking/reminiscing/internal explaining/rationalizing, also known as filler. Oh, and of course the conclusion is Basically sad, deservedly forgotten.
Profile Image for Jordan Anderson.
1,764 reviews46 followers
October 24, 2021
Spooktober 2021 Book 9

4.5 stars

A classic Christmas slasher that’s actually worth the hype.

Razor edge tension. Misdirection. And red herrings and misdirections galore.

Altman’s literary style makes this a far more fun and unique horror novel than many of books in this genre.

I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending (felt kind of anticlimactic and rushed) but this was very nearly a perfect example of this genre done to 100% perfection.
992 reviews28 followers
December 18, 2020
Great Christmas setting in a small village deep in snow and isolation. Just before Christmas young girls are being chopped, stabbed and sliced and the small-town sheriff is trying to put the pieces together. Somebody wants to punish and make him feel the ultimate price.
Profile Image for  Martin.
289 reviews54 followers
December 26, 2013
Well done. The perfect read for the Holidays, I think.
Profile Image for lapetitesouris.
243 reviews12 followers
December 31, 2022
A fun enough thriller for Christmas. Enjoyed the first half most as it became very obvious who the killer was in the second half.
Profile Image for Jase Marsiglia.
14 reviews
June 23, 2023
Written by Campbell Armstrong (under the pseudonym Thomas Altman) "BlackChristmas" (no relation to the 1974 Bob Clark masterpiece) is a nasty piece of Christmas carnage that finds a small-town sheriff hunting a serial killer during a blizzard. The killer is slaughtering young women who the sheriff knows personally to some degree, which means the perpetrator must be someone close to him and vying for his undivided attention.

It's not a bad whodunit, if you can get past some of the clunkier developments and a few annoying and useless characters (the mayor being my personal gripe, serving little more than to be the stereotypical "we can't have a panic on our hands" political nuisance). But the kills are nasty, and the blizzard a nice touch, keeping people contained and isolated. The ending is a bit abrupt, even if you figure it out, and feels somewhat like there's no closure after the reveal.
Profile Image for Adrienne.
26 reviews13 followers
December 18, 2019
It’s December 23rd and the good people of Murdoch no longer need to dream of a white Christmas after a massive snow storm rolls in and turns their town into a greeting card. But unfortunately for Murdoch, this Christmas card isn’t filled with good tidings, it’s filled with blood.

Someone has butchered a young woman out in Kelly’s Wood. And we’re not just talking about one good whack to the noggin, oh no. We’re looking at full-on, ax-wielding berserker mode. It’s a blessing the coroner could get her to the ambulance without a snow shovel.

Now it’s up to middle aged, depressed, chief of police Bud Dunsmore to bring the killer to justice.

Thus begins Thomas Altman’s holiday horror novel Black Christmas. Read the full review.
Profile Image for Jack.
710 reviews3 followers
April 8, 2023
This more of a murder mystery than a horror story, and it’s not even a good murder mystery. You can see the killer coming from a mile away! The interesting bits are on the periphery, like the bleak snowy imagery, the Twin Peaks-style odd townspeople, and Altman’s reliance on awkward similes. It’s not exactly terrible and I don’t regret reading it, it’s just not as effective as it could have been.
78 reviews
January 1, 2024
Bought for me, for Xmas because I love a Christmas horror, however, this is not connected with the famous horror released many years before this was written. Although an enjoyable slasher it dragged a little and the final reveal was guessable just not believable (I get the irony of that baring in mind what type of book this is!) 😀 but still one I would say is worth a read.
Profile Image for Sean Gerace.
Author 2 books3 followers
December 5, 2019
I bought this book thinking it was a novelization of the 1974 film, but was surprised to discover it was a completely different story. Such a good book. I try and read it every year around Christmas.
Profile Image for Mimi.
27 reviews1 follower
January 17, 2021
“Black Christmas” was a very satisfying read, taking place in the town of Murdock, and it’s young women who unfortunately fall victim to a mysterious figure wielding an axe around the most cheerful time of the year, makes for a perfect story. it read like a true novel and was well written.
Profile Image for TheCultureVulture.
344 reviews13 followers
December 19, 2020
Picked this up because I assumed this was the book based on or the novelization of the Black Christmas film. I was incorrect but it all worked out for the best since I prefer this story. Great seasonal read.
Profile Image for Judy Morris.
1,333 reviews30 followers
April 6, 2020
Wow this was a great suspense book. In the town of Murdock, there were girls getting killed by a stalker. You will have to read the book to find out who it is. The ending is a surprise
Profile Image for Paul Lê.
86 reviews4 followers
December 19, 2022
This book is mostly description and prose. It can be tedious, but it's also a fine slasher. The killer was a fitting choice.
Profile Image for Peter.
4,103 reviews806 followers
December 20, 2023
Two young girls are murdered, shortly before Christmas. Who committed those abominable crimes? Bud Dunsmore, the Sheriff of Murdoch has no real clues. The dimwit of the town, a former boxer with an eye for young girls or Dan Hamilton, the ex-husband of a wife he has an affair with? This thriller is absolutely nail biting and a very intense read. The characters are worked out very well. If you had enough sugary treats before this year's Christmas you definitely should give this one a try. A classic page turner. Highly recommended!
Profile Image for Ali.
419 reviews
December 12, 2025
Definitely more moody murder mystery than slasher-horror like I was expecting. The story was more heavy and bleak.
The sherrif cheating on his wife as a plot point was irritating, though it does become relevant. It was a good read, just not a great one.
Profile Image for BRNTerri.
480 reviews10 followers
February 11, 2017

I should state that this novel has nothing to do with the 1974 film Black Christmas (though that was novelized in 1976 by Lee Hays).

This was fairly boring. Three young women from the same town are murdered at different times within a short period of time in the days leading up to Christmas, and a fourth was almost killed. It wasn't until shortly before the killer was revealed that I'd guessed who they were.

There were the usual suspects- ex-husband, odd boy in town, ect., neither of which turn out to be the killer. I don't understand the significance of the number thirteen; each victim was stabbed thirteen times. The reason for killing two of the three doesn't make any sense and it wasn't explained why the killer had those two on their radar anyway. The ending is odd too, somewhat happy, and I'm not at all satisfied with it. The novel needed to be slightly longer so we could have gotten some answers as to what the killer was thinking. Not really good enough to recommend.

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Profile Image for Zach Johnson.
234 reviews1 follower
December 25, 2023
3.5 stars, rounding up a star to spread holiday cheer. Far more well-written than I was expecting, Black Christmas (no relation to the greatest slasher of all time, btw) is a taut, giallo-style thriller about a string of killings in a small, wintry town. Points off for only being SET during Christmas time and barely having anything to do with Christmas, but points on for having interesting enough characters, gory, unexpected kills, and a solid mystery at its core. The constant inner thinkings of the characters on the page gives them some meat, and while it lacks the scummy edge of my favorite '80s MMPs, this would've made for a pretty decent slasher back in the day (esp. if it was as mean-spirited throughout its ENTIRE plot instead of putting on the Christmas brakes!).
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