Helping Your Anxious Child, Third Edition: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents

by Ronald M. Rapee, Ann Wignall, Susan H. Spence

At least ten percent of children have excessive fears and worries--phobias, separation anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive-disorder--that can hold them back and keep them from fully enjoying childhood. If your child suffers from any of these forms of anxiety, this book offers new, practical, and evidence-based proven tools that can help. Now in its third edition, Helping Your Anxious Child has been expanded and updated to include the latest research and techniques for managing child anxiety, and includes new information on helping very young children and adolescents; as well as anxiety in children with behavioral problems, learning difficulties, or medical conditions. The book offers proven-effective skills based in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, and mindfulness and relaxation techniques to aid you in helping your child overcome intense fears and worries. You'll also find out how to relieve your child's anxious feelings while parenting with compassion. Parents will how to help your child practice "detective thinking" to recognize irrational worries; what to do when your child becomes frightened; how to expose your child gently and gradually to challenging situations; and how to help your child learn important social skills.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Childrens, Adult, Social Work

1 pages, Audio CD

First published March 1, 2000

Reviews

[Matthew Hodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

My oldest son had social anxieties growing up. There were times when, at age 8 or 9, he would cry for half a day at the thought of going out and trying something new.

So I bought this book, and downloaded the accompanying workbook. I'm still working through the exercises with him but his growth in confidence and courage has been stunning to see.

Highly recommended.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like how straightforward this book is. So far it is helping me and my daughter! great resource for any parent.

[Alvin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This program really walks you through step-by-step, in a methodical, and concrete plan. It is a very comprehensive intervention, that if followed to the T, will give you positive results. It is a commitment that requires 100% effort. On a day-to-day, I would find it hard to put in that much into the program. I will use many of the ideas as best as I can.

[Milena Siermińska · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a treasure. Good language, not too hard to understand. Lots of stories from real life and very helpful exercises. I did many of them with my students who were very involved. Highly recommend.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty helpful, although obviously intended for children that are a little older than I need. Will keep this as a reference guide and will definitely consider some of the ideas in this guide.

[Fatma Akyürek Aytekin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kaygılı çocuğa nasıl yardım edebileceğimize ilişkin çalışma methodları, kaygının çeşitleri ve bazı örnekler verilmiş. Çocukların hiçbir korkularını göz ardı etmemek gerektiği, ilerde daha büyük sorunlara neden olabileceği işlenmiş.
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[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some useful tools in there, but for the most part filled with repetitive drivel to fill a book's worth.

[♫✯Em loves Hollenstein✯♫❤the summertime and butterflies all belong to your creation❤ · Rating 1 out of 5]

fuck no. this is not how you deal with kids with anxiety. is this author a fucking idiot?

[Natasha B Stanley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was good. Inspired me to engage a therapist rather than try and tackle on my own.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too bad. I had held out some hope that this book would be helpful, especially since it was “prescribed” to us by my son’s psychiatrist. However, the book really only addresses kids with one presentation of anxiety: the meek, quiet, and shy types—the “good” kids that are generally a delight to be around. This is not my son (even though he’s a delight in my biased eyes) and any mention of his behavior type in the book is either separated as a different type of problem or addressed with the typical parenting strategies: Use time outs! Well, DUHHHH. If those had worked, we wouldn’t be schlepping him to psychiatrists.

Only one shred of the book’s advice was agreeable to me, which was a collaborative problem solving approach for handling fears. Somebody on the author team has obviously heard of Dr. Ross Greene. Now if only my son had typical kid fears (another issue I had with the book) such as the dark, water, etc. I’d be able to help him. And I wouldn’t have needed this book to do so.

[Billy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's probably a pretty good and useful book for parenting. It makes a lot of sense, and it's also useful to adults since anxiety is universal to the human experience. It puts a lot of ideas into simple words that a professional therapist might say to a child.

It's not really what I'm into reading, but my father read/marked up this book a bit when I was being raised (as a first born child from an immigrant family), so I figured this author had more than most of an impact in shaping who I am.

For most readers without children, there are probably more detailed/advanced texts to learn about anxiety, but this book has two interesting chapters on what anxiety is and how it affects a child's social behavior. Though it doesn't explain it very explicitly, it becomes quite easy to see how unaddressed anxieties in children can manifest into related problems in adulthood.

[Michelle Minette · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is helpful for people who continue to read books and have done little internet research to learn about toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse. It covers the very basic understanding of narcissism from the limited scope of the overt narcissist as described in the DSM-5 as a personality disorder. With the breadth of information out there covering the different manifestations and expressions of narcissism, either in traits or as a personality disorder, I was looking for a more in-depth and detailed account. Also, if you are looking for ways to heal beyond a description of treatments recommended, look elsewhere.

[Renee Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is wonderful to be able to recommend this book to parents and carers of children experiencing anxiety. Authors have skilfully incorporated their own rich clinical experience and leading empirical research in a digestible format, to empower parents with the knowledge and practical skill to support their child in overcoming anxious thinking and behaviours. It contains step-by-step instructions and scripts for parents to utilise with their child and has suggestions for how to fit the program into busy schedules! It is a brilliant stand-alone tool or can be used as an additional resource for parents already seeing a mental health professional.

[Caroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful

My grandson is 4 and was having major temper tantrums. After an appointment with a behavioral pediatrician, he is gifted and high anxiety which caused the tantrums. Being so young it was difficult for him to express his feelings (frustration and fears) and it would bubble into a tantrum. By modifying some of the techniques in the book for his age, we have seen a difference. As the adults in his life we have learned much of the responsibility of his tantrums lied on the way we handled his feelings.

[Lori · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I didn't even finish this, which joins a very small handful of books I've ever started in my life. I thought it was mostly terrible. Condescending to parents and not very empathetic to the children (or parents). Some of the advice seemed completely counter to what good cognitive behavioral therapy with children should be! Do yourself a favor and read Tamar Elilsas Chansky's book instead!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this book up on a whim as my eldest has been struggling with anxiety since the pandemic. While she is seeing a professional, I felt it would be good to get supplementary support from experts to help me continue to support her in her journey. While she's in a good patch right now, I'll definitely be implementing some of the tools and techniques found in this book. Overall, a lot of it aligns with what she's been practicing so far, so I'm hopeful going forward.

[Michelle Fouad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I especially enjoyed the workbook that can be downloaded to accompany this book. Though some of the chapters felt repetitive, the information was practical. It was also appropriate for a children of different ages. The suggestions of activities offered variations for different age levels.

Overall, it was an easy read that I found quite helpful.

[Laura]

I picked this up hoping it could help me help Sean and Theresa deal with their Social Anxiety. Unfortunately, it won't. The book is designed for parents with young children who live with them. I cannot do the exercises with Sean and Theresa and the exercises are really for young children. I read the Chapter Highlights and skimmed the book.

[Doctorshankar Kamala · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book. A must for all parents and would be parents. Proven methods are discussed. By following the easy steps discussed in the book, you can successfully raise anxiety free, happy, successful, happy children.

[Morgan Forsythe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great insights on anxiety and calming skills for any age, but geared toward older children. The library format didn't lend itself well to the activities so I skimmed a bit. Think I'll get it in a couple more years when the kids are older if I'm feeling it's necessary.

[Amanda Smith]

Haven’t started implementing the ideas yet, but they seem like they will be helpful. I listened to it and am now going to get a paper copy from the library to reference back. Basic ideas are using realistic (detective) thinking and stepladder approaches to fears.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is fantastic for children who have specific fears, phobias and ocd and provides primarily 2 specific strategies for working towards overcoming them. It is not as helpful for children who struggle with generalized anxiety.

[Guðbjörg Gréta Steinsdóttir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and helpful both for parents and professionals

[Deidre McCormack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super helpful for us with our 9 year old daughter

[Sasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book - a life saver!!!

[Jessica Corwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some tangible takeaways. Certain chapters are worth revisiting.

[Mahboube · Rating 5 out of 5]

کتابی فوق‌العاده کاربردی برای کمک به درمان اضطراب کودکان. برای درمانگران تازه‌کار کمک بزرگی خواهد بود. انتشارات ارجمند ترجمه باکیفیتی از این کتاب منتشر کرده است.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 for now. I’ll need to reread if I decide to go through the program with my child. Some things did not resonate, but there is much to consider.

[Angela Hedworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

You have to buy this book, not get it from the library as it is a many week process. I like the concept and idea; just don't have this kind of time. I wish these things came naturally.

[Elizabeth E · Rating 3 out of 5]

helpful on the practical side of how to teach kids to think through the causes of anxiety. I liked the detective thinking charts.