Una volta ero soldato. Dall'orrore del Vietnam all'incontro con il buddhismo

by Claude Anshin Thomas, Diana Petech (Translator)

Una volta ero un soldato è il racconto del viaggio umano e spirituale di Claude AnShin la storia di come, da veterano dell'esercito degli Stati Uniti, è diventato uno dei più celebri attivisti per la nonviolenza al mondo. La testimonianza di come in ogni momento della nostra vita, anche nella disperazione più nera, sia possibile trasformare i traumi del nostro passato in formule di guarigione. Arruolatosi nell’esercito a diciassette anni per combattere in Vietnam, Thomas torna dall'inferno di Saigon come un eroe pluridecorato, ma allo stesso tempo la sua persona è un ventenne senza futuro, tormentato dagli incubi perla morte e la devastazione di cui si sente responsabile. A salvarlo dal percorso di autodistruzione al quale come tanti coetanei è destinato, ci sarà l’incontro con la spiritualità zen e il maestro Thich Nhat Hanh. Le sue parole sull’amore universale, sulla capacità di vivere nel presente, sulla necessità della nonviolenza innescheranno per Thomas una vera e propria rinascita, che lo porterà a spostarsi prima in Asia e poi in tutto il mondo, per affrontare le proprie cicatrici, perdonare ed essere perdonato, farsi a sua volta tramite di un messaggio di salvezza. Questo libro è un invito aperto a cambiare la propria vita. A liberarsi dalla sofferenza attraverso la comprensione della sofferenza. A rinunciare alla violenza per trovare una vera speranza.

Genres: Buddhism, Biography, Nonfiction, War, Memoir, Religion, History

188 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 14, 2004

About the author

Claude AnShin Thomas is a Zen Buddhist monk and a combat veteran. At the age of 17 he enlisted in the US Army and served in the Vietnam War as a helicopter crew chief. Since that time, he has been working to heal the wounds of war--emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Ordained in 1994 by Bernie Tetsugen Glassman at the site of the Auschwitz concentration camp, he walked on pilgrimage from Auschwitz to Vietnam, begging for alms along the way in the ancient Buddhist tradition of takuhatsu. He has walked several other pilgrimages since then in the United States and Europe.

Claude AnShin is the guiding teacher at the Magnolia Zen Center in Mary Esther, Florida, and the founder of the Zaltho Foundation, a nonprofit organization that promotes meditation and nonviolence. Claude AnShin teaches frequently in the United States, Europe, and South America. For more information, visit www.zaltho.org or email info@zaltho.org.

Reviews

[Jessaka · Rating 4 out of 5]

At Hell's Gate: A Soldier's Journey
by Claude Anshin Thomas

In the early 2000s I became friends with a very homesick Australian monk who lived at a Dai Dang monastery in CA. He has since gone back home and assured me that his loneliness has ended. He gave my husband this book to read, hoping that it held a message for him because he had served in Vietnam. I was the one to read it; my husband doesn't wish to remember.

The source of this poem is from my living in Berkeley and seeing veterans on the street, even giving them money to buy a bottle of wine, but it also comes from a scene in this book that actually happened to the author.

This book begins with the words:

"Imagine for a moment that you are standing outside in the rain. What do you typically think and feel as rains falls around you?

For me, every time it rains I walk through war. For two rainy seasons I experience very heavy fighting. During the monsoons in Vietnam, the tremendous volume of water leaves everything wet and muddy. Now when it rains, I am still walking through fields of young men screaming and dying. I still see tree lines disintegrating from napalm. I still hear seventeen-year-old boys crying for their mothers, fathers, and girlfriends. Only after re-experiencing all of that can I come to the awareness that right now, it's just raining."

The first few chapters of this book were very heavy with scenes of war. Taking a scene from out of the book where a baby was left lying and crying in the road, where Claude AnShin Thomas wrote, "...one of them reached out and picked up the baby, and it blew up," I wrote a poem in remembrance:

If you have never been to war, or even if you have, this book is a blessing, a story of a man's survival and how he found peace. Perhaps he didn't find peace completely by becoming a monk in Thich Nhat Hanh's monastery, a monastery where he didn't stay long, but he was well on his way by doing so. We all have to find peace in our own ways, if we ever can.

Today, I think of the refuges that are leaving their own war torn country, the fears, the hunger, and the cold that they face, and I wonder if they will find peace in another land?

p.s. Claude AnShin Thomas is now a monk in Budapest and can be found on facebook. This poem I wrote is for him.

LIVING IN BERKELEY BACK IN NAM

I saw you standing
in front of the market
on Telegraph Avenue
asking for spare change.

With fear
seeping through
the shadows
of your hallowed eyes,
you let me know that you
were back in Nam,
where you watched
your buddy
holding
a Vietnamese baby
in his protecting arms,
blow up
before those very eyes
that I am staring
into now.

In one breath
you told me that it
wasn’t real,
that it
never really happened;
in the next breath
you asked me “Why?”
And I had no answer
other than to offer you
a few
coins.
And you walked into that store
to buy yourself another
bottle of wine.

~~written by Jessica S. M. 2005



1

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this when it was first released, and remember being quite struck, both by Thomas's story, and by some of the facts and figures about Vietnam veterans that he includes. The profound dysfunction, both social and psychological, that Thomas experienced after his return from serving in Vietnam left me greatly moved. I have not read many memoirs of this kind, so it may very well be that the author covers ground with which other readers are already familiar.

The author's eventual conversion to Buddhism, his growing sense of self, and his slow climb out of his own personal hell are extraordinary. I want to call them "inspirational," though I fear that the word has been so abused that, in using it, I might unintentionally occlude the really visceral nature of some of Thomas's experiences.

Suffice it to say, that despite having read this some time ago, certain passages still stand out quite starkly in my mind. In particular: the author's exchange with an angry veteran during his peace march across the country, in which communication finally becomes possible when the other man discovers that Thomas too is a veteran; the author's profound sense of dislocation and fear when visiting Thich Nhat Hanh's retreat in France, even though he is now a Buddhist. This last was a powerful reminder that the experiences of the past are never entirely behind us... Finally, I was struck by Thomas's assertion that an astonishing number of older homeless men are Vietnam veterans (I forget the exact figure). What an indictment of our nation!

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Claude Anshin Thomas volunteered, at 17, to go to Vietnam and fight the war his nation was waging there. He did so, in part, because his father suggested his should - his father who had fought in WWII, and who passed stories to him about the valor and honor of serving in combat.

What Thomas quickly learned was that there was little valor or honor to be had in Vietnam - that the lines of combat were ill-drawn, that it was impossible to clearly identify an enemy . . . and so he disassociated; grew numb; withdrew from all emotion so as to survive his experiences and the ramifications of killing (and almost being killed). He returned from Vietnam with PTSD, which led to him self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, and sex, and then (by 1990) feeling so desperate, so wracked with pain, that he was willing to try anything to help him withstand the daily turmoil of his disease.

The "anything" turned out to be a meditate retreat held by Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, a man Thomas immediately recognized as "not my enemy" - which confused and frightened and unhinged him even more. This book is the story of all that came next - of Thomas' life at Plum Village in France, where Hanh is based; of his slow healing; of his discovery, through Buddhism, that only by existing with emotion (rather than repressing, running from, or trying to manage it) could he make peace with his actions in Vietnam (in large part because the residents of Plum Village offered nothing but peace to him).

I loved Thomas' reflections on how ingrained aggression is in Western culture - that in everything from sports to everyday conversation, we're urge to compete, to dominate, to 'be the best' at the expense of others. I also very much appreciated his critique of the idea that the WWII generation is the "greatest" - since they carry within them such deep wounds inflicted by a war that was unspeakable in almost every way. I would -frankly - have enjoyed more such reflections, and less about his life as a monk; more about his ongoing struggle (as he still has PTSD) and less about how you go about trying to life a compassionate life. It's not that I find the latter uncompelling - I am deeply interested - but that to fully grasp the difference such a commitment to compassion makes, I feel as though I need to know about the moments when compassion breaks down (as it has to in all of us, imperfect as we are).

[Kit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing. It is well written, almost poetic. It is one of those books that changes your life. It is a must read!

[Eden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book evah.

[Ph. D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profound. Since I closed the book I can't stop thinking about it. I never served in combat (teacher deferment), and for that I thank God. But I always wondered about the soldier who went to Vietnam in my place.

Maybe it was Claude Anshin Thomas.

Maybe his story would have been my story.

Reading a great book changes us. I have already begun to look at my enemies differently. And to look at different faiths with a new appreciation of what they can teach me.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing and powerful book about the ongoing practice of transforming suffering. I cannot say enough good things about At Hell's Gate, it moved me that much. An autobiography of a Vietnam combat veteran, At Hell's Gate shares with the reader the author's life experiences, from the traumatic to the transformational. This is not your typical Dharma book, and much contained within is not pretty to read about. What makes this book so precious to be is that Claude Anshin Thomas (a mendicant Zen priest) does not portray himself as a monk sitting on a golden lotus. So many contemporary Buddhist authors do not share the ugly in their lives, and when they seem to try they really only portray common faults. Here is a humble and peaceful man who takes personal responsibility for hundreds of deaths during his tour in Vietnam as a gunner on a helicopter.

Beyond his combat, he witnessed so much horror--the story is very moving. And despite now being a Zen priest/monk, he still remains affected by his past, and it is by that admission that I find hope and inspiration. This book is recommended for anyone, but especially those interested in the spiritual path but who may feel a disconnect from authors who, despite their wisdom, might not have experienced what it means to have caused serious harms in their lives, to have been victimized, or even addicted to drugs/alcohol. This book is an encouragement for those who stumble on the path and who may tend to judge their worth and/or practice due to difficulties of strong emotions and heavy baggage.

(As a side note, if you or someone you care about is a veteran interested in spiritual practice, this may be a great resource as well, as Claude Anshin Thomas often does retreats for veterans, and he himself still lives with PTSD.)

[Ajwubz]

At Hells Gate

by

Claude Anshin Thomas

At Hells Gate is about a man the was in Vietnam and tells the stories of how it was like to be a helicopter gunner and he explains the suffering he went through all his life whether it was in Vietnam or back home and how he reached peace and transformed his suffering into ways he could handle it and not let his anger and fear from his past consume him. Claude Anshin Thomas was a boy that grew up in a family that loved war Claude was a great sports player and he had the possibility of going to a good college.

I liked this book because thinking about how Vietnam the war that changed people’s mindsets about war because before Vietnam, WWII veterans always would glorify war and make it seem like it was great but the veterans had seen things themselves that were hard to believe but they buried them and suppressed them well. When Vietnam came around times were changing and hippies were everywhere and a time for peace and integration was happening. This book interested me so much because he talks about the psychological side of the civilians supporting the war until they came back with such a substantial defeat, the people hated them and wanted to forget about the soldiers that were coming back and they were treated with the utmost disrespect.

The book is definitely worth reading it is thought provoking to say the least. He makes very good points and I believe that the whole world should listen to this man and read this book for the message he sends to people. He talks about how peace should be a way of life instead of being seen as an objective and somebodies desire or wishes. Yet again this book is one of the best books I’ve ever read.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anshin is a Viet Nam vet who suffered from severe post traumatic stress for nearly 20 years before discovering a sense of healing using meditation. His book is really written for other veterans and his life work is directed at veterans and others directly affected by war - although he would say we are all damaged by war and all damaged by violence. The chapter I liked best was the one on pilgrimage and walking as meditation - Anshin has taken walking pilgrimages from Auschwitz to Viet Nam, across America and across Africa as well as others. I also liked his final chapter on using one's own anger and violence to learn and how to interact without superiority or aggression towards those you feel anger towards. It made me think of my interactions with the Indian subcontinent Verizon folks. The best parts of the book are those with specific examples of interactions with others.

Anshin spoke at the Unitarian Fellowship in Wenatchee. An interesting and helpful session. His book is not nearly as good as interacting with him in person. For me it was still very worthwhile reading and I may give it to others to read.

[Biniam Biniam · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Peace can exist* "Without warmongers no weapons and without weapons no warmonger." ~ Biniam Yibaleh ~ My Review about the book *AT THE HELL's GATE* ~
Soldiers are trimmed it to dehumanize other people or the so-mentioned enemies, and therein lies the seeds of war." This reading, "A soldier overcomes hatred and violence" showed the unimaginable understand, namely how it is possible to look at a stranger as an enemy so that killing appears to be legitimate ?
Soldiers pay for most mental illnesses that result from extended tours in combat. When they get home to a country and government that would just as soon forget they existed? And they suffer in being a puppet for a corrupt war based on lies.
So soldiers need self-discipline and the courage to transform inveterate habits of thought and reaction patterns to change.
Soldiers or militants who constantly belief in militarization overprinted the everyday peace, all these must be unconditionally and without delay transform to civilian structures to live in FREEDOM & PEACE.
WHO USED TO BE SOLDIER and TRIMMED to HATE & KILL ? Your comments pls !

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

"War is just the acting out of suffering." He had me on the first page. This small but rich and truthful book took me four months to read a testimony in part to the great wealth of dharma it contains. Below are just a few of the many passages I gleaned from my first reading (some transcribed onto my study wall):

p. 42: The only way to heal, to transform suffering, is to stand face-to-face with suffering, to realize the intimate details of suffering and how our life in the present is affected by it.

p. 88: Healing and transformation from this deadly and ever-tightening spiral is possible. ... What is important about the telling [of the story of "millions of people affected by war and violence":]is not so much the details of the story as the telling itself.

p. 128: So I must look at where these seeds of superiority are in my life, see how they manifest themselves, and make a commitment not to turn away.

In the course of reading At Hell's Gate, I discovered my willingness to face into this persistent human reality. I bowed.

[Greg Brooks-English · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many lessons... That we are all potential killers, that we are all potential awakened people like Jesus or Buddha equally... It's up to us to choose what we want to be and make better causes and conditions for our lives. Claude Anshin Thomas became a solider in Vietnam killing hundreds of Vietnamese people, who he learned to dehumanize and label the enemy. Only many years later, after returning home to a people who rejected him, after chronic drug addiction, did he finally learn to heal himself with the help of meditation and unconditional love from the Plum Village community of Thich Nhat Hahn. Now he is a monk who travels the world teaching about how to transform and heal from the wounds of severe violence.

[Jean]

Wow. He's a Zen monk now, writing about his experience as a soldier in Vietnam and subsequent suffering through PTSD, drug addiction, and homelessness, and how he was introduced to a Buddhist approach to living with all this by Thich Nhat Hanh. He also tells about his Zen pilgrimages, walking without money or food, in his Buddhist robes, across the country and from Poland to Vietnam. A few quotes: War is just the acting out of suffering... Everyone has their Vietnam--everyone... All veterans of violence can be a powerful force for healing in the world. The way to that healing is through our suffering... This book is about how one person found wise ways to live with suffering, and to turn violence into peace.

[CARYL · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book obviously is non-fiction and pretty well written. The Vietnam History part is eye opening, and for those of us who remember, pretty revealing when he talks about how the returning vets were treated and how that treatment affected them. It was not their war. But they paid the price during the conflict and upon their return. To know that he eventually found a path to peace is comforting but then you can't help but think of all those who didn't and whose lives were destroyed for the Politicians war. It was a good book. It held my interest.

[Kendra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the first half of this book when he discussed his involvement in Vietnam. I wish he would have went into a little more detail about some of the events that happened to him there. It seems like he left a lot out for being in heavy combat for three years. After about the halfway point in the book it seemed to drag on and get a little boring. Maybe because the second half of the book is more about Buddhism and less about his involvement in the Vietnam war. Overall it was an okay book but towards the end it started to put me to sleep.

[Eric C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book at a zen Buddhist center where I heard the author talk. I actually didn't like the talk, but I really liked the book. It's an autobiography about a man who was psychologically scarred by his experiences in the Vietnam war, and who found peach through buddhism. Now a Zen Buddhist monk, he argues against war and violence in any form. The book is a nice introduction to Buddhism, and quite moving at times.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for anyone needing to understand the scars left by service in war. I found it difficult to read most of this book because of the ghosts it brought back to me of my own experiences. The great thing about this book is the information at the end of ways to find peace with the guilt of complicity and regretful actions. Thomas is still around giving talks and doing good for all of us. If you get a chance to hear him speak, take it!

[Shane · Rating 5 out of 5]

So compelling. The true story of Claude Anshin Thomas' journey from Vietnam vet to Buddhist monk. He takes you through the experience of fighting a war and the pain it brought to his life. But, then, perhaps the best part is that, throughout, he guides you through ways of meditation and breathing that help you understand that we are all one and that none of us have to hibernate in suffering.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

this rating is really biased by two things. first, i recently had the pleasure of listening to the author's teaching and was impressed by his wisdom and clarity of thought. second, the book deals with violence and mindfulness, both topics that recently have been on my mind. anshin found me at a really opportune time in my life. i am deeply touched by his words.

[Olinmt · Rating 5 out of 5]

TRULY INSPIRING!!!!!!!

[Cindy Deyo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fast, 2-day read, 166 pages and very worthwhile. A Vietnam Vet comes to grips with his demons and learns to live with a new vision of peace.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: At Hell’s Gate: A Soldier’s Journey from War to Peace by Claude Anshin Thomas

Rating: 4.7/5

Reviewer’s Perspective & Initial Reactions
As a female sociologist and public health professional, I approached Thomas’s memoir with a dual lens: analyzing the structural failures in veteran reintegration and the transformative potential of mindfulness-based healing. While the book is a spiritual autobiography, its raw depiction of systemic neglect—of veterans, addiction, and homelessness—resonated deeply with my work on trauma’s societal roots. Thomas’s journey from combat to Zen monkhood stirred both admiration for his resilience and anger at the institutions that abandoned him (and countless others) to navigate PTSD alone.

Strengths & Emotional Impact
-Structural Critique in Disguise: Thomas’s personal collapse post-Vietnam—marked by addiction, homelessness, and societal rejection—unintentionally exposes gaps in public health systems. His story mirrors research on how moral injury and institutional betrayal exacerbate PTSD, yet this connection remains implicit.
-Mindfulness as Public Health Tool: The retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh offers a compelling case study for trauma-informed mindfulness interventions. As a public health leader, I longed for more empirical discussion of how such practices could scale for marginalized communities beyond veterans.
-Emotional Honesty: Thomas’s unflinching account of guilt and violence (“I had killed many people”) evoked visceral discomfort, challenging romanticized notions of war and healing. His vulnerability models the radical self-awareness needed for societal reconciliation.

Constructive Criticism
-Intersectional Blind Spots: Thomas’s privilege as a male veteran (despite his suffering) overlooks how gender, race, and class shape post-war trauma. For example, women veterans or veterans of color face compounded stigma—a nuance absent here.
-Structural Solutions Missing: While Zen practice healed Thomas individually, the book sidesteps policy advocacy (e.g., VA reform, housing access). A public health perspective demands pairing personal healing with systemic change.
-Cultural Specificity: The Buddhist framework, though powerful, risks universalizing without addressing cultural adaptation for non-Buddhist or secular audiences.

Why This Book Matters
At Hell’s Gate transcends memoir to indict societal complicity in veterans’ suffering while offering a blueprint for trauma recovery. Its limitations in structural analysis are outweighed by its emotional potency and proof that healing is possible—even after profound violence.

Thank you to the publisher for the free copy via Edelweiss. This book earns a 4.7/5—a must-read for trauma scholars and practitioners, with caveats about its narrow scope.

Pair With: The Body Keeps the Score (trauma neuroscience) or War and the Soul (moral injury). Ideal for readers seeking spiritual and sociological insights into the resilience of veterans.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be a bit unfocussed and meandering and this bothered me originally but on further reflection, it seemed kind of right. The book reads like a meditation practice. There is focus, the mind wanders, and it comes back to its focus.

The author's story is a powerful one and worth the read. There were a couple gems in here I really appreciated. At the very beginning he talks about the way we have been condition to think about war in our country. Specifically of the generation that raised him, the veterans of WWII, he says "When that generation talked about war, they didn't speak truthfully. Unable to touch the deep and profound wounds that war had left inside them, they talked about war like a great adventure....Having come home as the victors, they were thrust into a role: They became the protectors of our culture's denial about the profound and far-reaching impact of war....This cultural myth obliged my father's generation not to talk openly or directly about the reality of the individual war experience." He, of course, contrasts this to what happened with the veterans of Vietnam.

This is a fascinating concept to me. It is something I have observed in the way our culture talks about our military as a whole and as individuals. By doing this, we allow ourselves to ignore the suffering the individuals returning from war are going through and the suffering it causes our society and the world as a whole.

I also appreciated the broad definition of suffering that emanates from the Buddhist teachings. I particularly appreciated the concept of a "bell of mindfullness." This is essentially anything that takes you out of the present moment to remind yourself to refocus. It's a trigger, when you realize you need to step back. When you feel anger welling up. As a parent, an example would be noticing in myself when I start to do the things I know won't actually help the situation, like yelling uncontrollably. The look on my child's face is the bell of mindfullness that reminds me to step back, breath, and start again.

[Daishin 寺]

En estas memorias crudas y conmovedoras, Claude Thomas relata la dramática historia de su servicio en Vietnam, su posterior colapso emocional y cómo finalmente logró encontrar la sanación y la paz. Thomas partió a Vietnam a los dieciocho años, donde sirvió como jefe de tripulación en helicópteros de asalto. Al finalizar su servicio, había recibido numerosas medallas, incluyendo el Corazón Púrpura. También había asesinado a muchas personas, presenciado una crueldad espantosa y escapado por poco de la muerte en varias ocasiones.

Cuando Thomas regresó a casa, descubrió que seguía viviendo en un estado de guerra. Lo abrumaban sentimientos de culpa, miedo, ira y desesperación, todos ellos intensificados por el rechazo que experimentó como veterano de Vietnam. Durante años, Thomas luchó contra el estrés postraumático, la adicción a las drogas y al alcohol, el aislamiento e incluso la falta de vivienda.

Un punto de inflexión llegó cuando asistió a un retiro de meditación para veteranos de Vietnam dirigido por el renombrado monje zen Thich Nhat Hanh. Allí conoció las enseñanzas budistas sobre meditación y atención plena, que le ayudaron a dejar de huir de su pasado y, en cambio, a afrontar el dolor de sus experiencias de guerra de forma directa y compasiva. Thomas fue finalmente ordenado monje y maestro zen, y comenzó a peregrinar para promover la paz y la no violencia en lugares devastados por la guerra en todo el mundo, como Bosnia, Auschwitz, Afganistán, Vietnam y Oriente Medio.

En las Puertas del Infierno es la dramática historia de madurez de Thomas y un viaje espiritual que va desde los horrores del combate hasta el descubrimiento de un enfoque espiritual para sanar la violencia y poner fin a la guerra desde dentro. Con un lenguaje sencillo y directo, Thomas comparte enseñanzas atemporales sobre la sanación del sufrimiento emocional y nos ofrece una guía práctica para usar la atención plena y la compasión para transformar nuestras vidas.

#historia #Itivrttaka #narración #biografía #renunciantes #sucesos

[John Robert Baldwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

succeeding generations, continuously acted out with less clarity about its sources.” ~129-130

“Without suffering, there is no joy, and I can’t know what joy is without going through suffering.” ~137

“The physical wounds are not the most significant wounds of war. The wounds of the soul, the spiritual wounds, the emotional wounds - they are far deeper though less obvious. And they are much more unpleasant to look at.” ~138

“We can’t make the external world more peaceful; we can only become peace.” ~141

“Healing is learning to live in a different relationship with our pain and suffering so it does not control us.” ~143

“There isn’t any healing without vulnerability.” ~144

“We are responsible for our own healing...we may not have been able to control the trauma we have experienced, but we can take an active role in its healing.” ~146-47

“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it’s the absence of violence within conflict.” ~151

“If we want the world to be different, we have to live differently. We cannot think ourselves into a new way of living; we have to live our way into a new way of thinking.” ~161

“Waking up to the many manifestations of war and violence in our lives means going to uncomfortable places within ourselves - and taking a courageous stand in the world.” ~ 162

[Dave G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Certainly four stars, even five, on his life story as far as stories go. On the content of the book I give it a solid three stars. Not because I didn’t like it or because it wasn’t good. I did and it is, but it left me with more questions than answers. With the answers he did provide, he was very diplomatic. Nice in normal conversation but not as much in a book. He is a pacifist and I commend him on that. But when asked the “Hitler (or the like),” I want an answer. If answered, it would give a better perspective of his overall picture. He respectfully declines to answer and I respect that, but again, it leaves more questions than answers. The book is about him and not about me. I get it. To be the most persuasive I think he should have attempted it more than he did.

Commendable book and life. I really don’t think an honest, good person would place blame on him for his service in Vietnam. I know back then they did, unfairly. War is never good. We now know so much more about PTSD and what soldiers go through. Incredible story and life. Short and easy to read. But it still left me wanting more but I guess that is the life long question for most.

[Barbara Moss · Rating 4 out of 5]

A young soldier survived his first tour of action in Vietnam, but on return to the USA got the message "Because I was a soldier from Vietnam I was not worth anything." The following years are marked with nightmares, unemployability and multiple addictions. Eventually "It became impossible for me to hide from the reality of my Vietnam experience any longer." He signed up for a retreat led by a Vietnamese Zen monk, and was amazed to find acceptance from "the enemy" in place of the rejection he had experienced from his fellow-countrymen. He is now a Zen monk himself, and a peace activist, resisting temptations to violence within himself by recognizing the provoking incident as a "mindfulness bell". I was given this book because of his account of his peace pilgrimages, meditating at places of war and dependent on others for food and accommodation. A way of pilgrimage to which I could never aspire.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profoundly impacting story / memoir about war and what it can do to someone, addiction, healing and suffering. After almost being destroyed, The author is drawn to Buddhism and gives himself wholly to it. He begins to understand more about violence and where it comes from in all of us, and how to find peace.

One favorite quote: “Meditation is for me the core, because mindfulness is the only possible antidote to the mindlessness that leads to complicity with cruelty, violence and genocide. . . . War is not something that happens externally to us. In my experience, it is a collective expression of individual suffering. If we want war stopped, then we must wake up."

[Samaru · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book months ago and then put it down. I'm not a veteran and I'm not a Buddhist. I couldn't connect. Then I had the opportunity to meet AnShin and picked his book back up. This time what I read was not only about the wars our county and veterans fought but the wars within ourselves that each of fight and have fought. It's not about bringing peace to the world, it's about creating peace within meself that naturally radiates beyond the boundaries of my body. It's a wonderful read. Brought me to a deeper understanding of what the experience of so many veterans is now and has been.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful book. It happened upon my lap serendipitously. I'm glad it did.

Understanding how to touch and transmute our suffering is essential to peace and freedom. If anyone knows how to do this, it's Claude Anshin Thomas. The war anecdotes at the beginning of the book are absolutely haunting.

But, as you continue, the book takes on a different form. The tone goes from war to peace and it feels like you're reading something else entirely.

Let go of anger. Live peacefully.